100 ways to get kicked out of Walmart

I've seen a lot of these,and thought 'Hey, I should totally make one.' So here I am.Each page will probably have 5 ways to get kicked out, and it will feature Me (Bridget), Bailey, Gracie,Adaeze, Sarah,Sydney,Brady, possibly famous peoples if I'm hyper enough, and some other people you might not know. Yay!


1. Ways 1-5

1.) Pink Panther it 

    ' Dana Dana Danadanadanadanadadaaaa dadadadaaa, budum bum' I hummed quietly to myself, eagle spread against the wall of the mens underwear department." they'll never see me coming, and once I- " I was stopped short by Adaeze standing in front if me, tapping her foot. " I was gone for literally 43 seconds, and I come back to this. Bridget, how am I going to survive living with you" " Get a sense of humor, then text me later"  I say, trying to sneak away. I was stopped by Adaeze grabbing my wrist. " Oh no you don't. I only need four more things, and I am making sure to keep an eye on you the entire time" " Whatever mom" I say sarcastically, and I follow her to the freezer section. 

~~~~~~~~ 5 minutes later ~~~~~~~~

' Dana Dana danadanadanadana dadaaaa dadadadaa budum bum' " Finally, I can get back to my evil plan of-" " BRIDGET!"                  "Dammit!"



2.) Steal a baby ham

     As I walk through Walmart in my most 'mom' like outfit, my 'husband' standing next to me, I slowly look at all the carts carefully, making sure no one notices me. Then I see it. " Brady"  whisper to the boy standing next to me " I found one" He stared at me and pulled out two googly eyes, a glue stick,and a sharpie, he smiles and says " I'm ready." 


" Ummm, excuse me ma'am, is that my ham you're holding?' " Of course not, are you saying my child looks like a ham!' "N-n-no!"          I hold back a giggle and say " Darling, this man just said our baby looks like a ham! Do something!' Brady walks up to us and says in a deep southern accent " If yur lookin' fer a fight, you done just got yourself one. Aint no one insult the baby of the Rootin Tootin Shortstack." You could see fear in the mans eyes until the very end,and he started giggling. " The ghost of my Father, Ramblin' Bamblin' Casandra, gon' go after you fer laughin'." said Brady, as the man started giggling even more " Im gonna find where you live and- " BRADY AND BAILEY GET YOUR BUTTS OVER HERE RIGHT NOW AND STOP SCARING PEOPLE!'" we hear Adaeze shout. Brady quickly tosses the man his ham and follows me over to Adaeze. As she is scolding us I see Bridget quietly slip over to the mens underwear section. Huh.Brady notices too and tells Adaeze. "BRIDGET" is all she says, and you can hear a faint " Dammit"



3.) Jellybean Hawk-eye 

   'hehehehe' I whisper quietly, squatting on top of a sign.Don't ask how I got up there, because I don't know how to answer that.I see a strange man walking a little to close to a woman and I grab my bag of Jellybeans, and a slingshot. I load it with about six grape jellybeans and aim for the head. As I finish shooting,I see a hot guy and load the slingshot with a fortune cookie that has my number in it. Ready... Aim...Fire! I see Bridget in the mens underwear section and hop off my sign to see what shes doing. " Sup" I whisper, scaring the crap out of her. " Stalking the underwear for hot guys,how 'bout you?" " Serving Sweet.sweet Justice in the form of Jellybean slingshots." " Oh.O.K.,Bye Bye then." she says sweetly as I get back to my sign. Suddenly I feel something hit me and I wobble off of the sign. Gracie.Crap. " What are you doing?" She asks, looking as though she was judging me. "Um,I, Uh,SURPRISE SUPER HERO HAWK-EYE JELLYBEAN ATTACK" I scream at her throwing a handful of jellybeans in her face. No one can know my secret identity. I am.......Jelly-Hawk.


4.) Pop-Out Compliment

     I sit there, as quiet as a mouse, inside the dress rack, listening for the sound of people nearby. Then I hear the clacking of two hangers hitting each other. Perfect. I get a quick peak at the person and the dress they're looking at and I make my move. " That dress would look better in green" I say. scaring the lady away. I giggle as I hear another person come. I peak up and find out its walmart security. Time to find a new rack to  hide in. As I sneak out I come face to face with Sarah. "What are you doing?" I say, noticing how guilty she looks. Then she screams something unintelligible at me, throws a bunch of jellybeans in my face, and runs away. Huh. I go find a random dress rack and repeat what I did before, nobody ever figuring out it was me.



5.) Yodeling Competition

     'One ...two... three...' I jump out in front of a random lady and scream "I CHALLENGE YOU TO A YODEL OFF, AND IF YOU DO NOT ACCEPT THIS CHALLENGE , YOU CURSE YOU CURSE YOUR FAMILY FOR ONE-THOUSAND YEARS!"  I start making noises that can barely be called yodeling, but I continue until I feel it is the uncomfortable womans turn to start. " Um, I, don't know how to yodel." She says quietly. " DON'T KNOW HOW TO- WHAT RESPECTABLE WOMAN DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO YODEL" I yell. The woman looks at me, blushing from embarrassment. "Sydney,I swear to God if you try to challenge one more person to a yodeling contest I will chain you to your bed and never let you leave the house.Ever!" said an Angry Adaeze, Bridget,Bailey,and Brady following close behind. "Now,have you seen Sarah, or Gracie?" "No ma'am" i say quietly. "UGH" sighed Adaeze 'I swear you guys are so immature. I'm not even a year older than any of you and I have to deal with this" I hear her mumble as she stomps off to find the two thers.



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