how i became this.. *one shot*

uhmn.. so basically this is the story about how i became a directioner and what happend to me, what made me this person without any social life...

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1. the story of my life

This is the story of how I became this emotionally unstable mess of a directioner. The first time I heard the name one direction must have been in dutch class. Me and my bff at the time were in a discussion with to other friends of ours. It was about a band names one direction. They are handsome and make sweet music, my friend said. At witch my bff replied: no they are gay and make awfull music, right? She turned to me. Yeah they really do! There music is not good. And very gay! At the point that I made thus statement I realized that I had no clue or whatsoever of who they were. To me it seemed quite wrong to judge them like that. But I would never disagree with my bff, that was a very bad habit I learned from my very first bested friend. So after the lesson ended I went home, took my laptop and some food and skipped to my room. One direction, I searched them up at YouTube. What makes you beautiful I saw. And five truly handsome lads. So this is the band I called ugly less than an hour ago? I couldn't believe myself. So I clicked on the song, but I was demanded to hate them. And I didn't look at the video, or else I might begin to like them. Before I knew I was dancing all over my room. And at the time the song ended I quickly put it on instant replay. Oh god, its soo catchy! At this moment I was ready to look at the video. I was like somebody put a spell on me. The only thing I could see was green eyes, the cutest dimples and the most beautful hair I ever saw in my life. So you guys can guess, I became a harry loving girl. All I could think about was one direction. At that point my social life was crap. My bff dropped me, and at my school everybody talked dirt behind your back. At my preschool everybody just said things in your face. So you could have a fight or at least try to defend yourself. Here everything was different. I heard them talking about me, and I couldn't do Shit. This was my breakingpoint. My younger years were hard. I had a pretty perfect life, but lived in a bad neightbourhood. All my friends and kids I hung with had trouble far beyond compared. A kid I sometimes chilled with got impregnanted by her father at the age of twelve  I always had to keep strong. But at that moment I could not Stand it longer. Every night I would listen to one direction and practically cry myself to sleep. At school things didn't change, except that I found friends in the boys of my class. At that moment I was a who're, because I could get along well with the boys much more than with the girls. And that i was also a transgender. Well they had a great imagination I must say. Anyway, I'm getting off track a little bit. At that moment my grades just went from bad to worse. I got a boyfriend. Thing were looking up. My grades got up, I was happy again. But I also had my male friends. He didn't quite like it. And he accused me of cheating - note - I was twelve at the time - so the night before the most important week of the year begun he broke up with my via twitter. Twitter! And after that he and his friends all tweeted me things like slut whore cheater. So I was completely done, I did gymnasium, the highest level of school. If my grades got down I had to change schools. So at the time this important week begun I had 3 hours of sleep and I fuzzy mind. And the fact of my staying or leaving this school depended on it! So thanks to my ex I had to change schools. That summer I spend in new zealand - note - I live in Holland - there I found out that I was was become pretty "dedicated" about one direction. At my new school it was all about being the true you. You were accepted for whatever and whoever you were. Some girls likes one direction, and so at this point I gotten more and more into one direction. I had seen the video diaries countless of times. I followed tons of one direction accounts. But the "are you a true directioner test" I failed. I was pretty heartbroken. Because I always saw myself as someone who was like crazy "dedicated". So I didn't understant a picture of boo from monsters inc. + picture of a bear. Until I got more and more into facebook. I read things about boobear. And before I knew I read a piece about directonators. It was awfull, what,an awfull people I thought  But I started to compare myself. And the shock of my life came - note - I had have bigger shocks - I was a directionator. I totally did not like the thougt of it. And before I knew I spended a whole weekend google'ing everything I did not understand. And there I came out as newborn. I could finally truly call myself a directioner. And it never went away, I still remember everything about them. And as soon as something new came in. An interview' an performance video' a picture.. I was on it like a hungry lion at a wounded coyote. At this time I think the word "room 317" was all over my Larry stylinson pages. Well, not mine. But the ones I had liked. So I googled it, and came to a 1Dfanfic site. It was amazayn. The feels and the tons of times I couldn't read any further just because I was laying on the ground crying was too damn high. At this point I discovered the fanfic sites. So, basically this is the short version of my way of becoming this mess of a directioner. -  I wrote this little piece at the beginning of this year. Lots and lots has changed. I have friends and my school work is going great, but when i'm home i still have loads of things i don't like. Things that bring me down, thing that hurt me in the past. Reasons why i cut. Reasons why i'm afraid to love, attach en thrust people fully...  One direction is like the little piece i can get lost in, detach myself from reality. Leaving my pain and just, be another version of myself. Being anonymous, being someone i like. being away from my body, like how i look. Just my personality... - so my story... pretty boring and not really a fanfiction but what other category did i have to put it in then? anyways, Love ilke.
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