Forever 15

I became more and more unsure on whether life was really worth living.
Suicide was a big question that I debated on.
So. I decided. I made my choice.
I was going to do it.
I was gonna take my own life.
I would be 15 forever..


2. Happy Birthday and Hello New Guy.

"Happy Birthday Beth!" My Aunt shouted. I groaned. I really didn't feel like celebrating, and my Aunt was for sure going to make me. To make matters worse, she blasted up her radio and was dancing around to some One Direction. Ugh. I got up out of my bed, and locked my door, so she couldn't come back in. I went to my bathroom, and got a shower. I started singing Chalk Outline by Three Days Grace. About 5 minutes later, I was standing outside of my shower, butt naked and freezing. I shivered. My body was completely exposed, including my scars and cuts. I turned on my straightner and blow dryer, and started blow drying my hair. After my hair was almost completely dry, I grabbed my robe and walked out. I opened my closet and pulled out a red cami, my black Sleeping With Sirens tank top, and my gray jacket. I walked to my dresser and grabbed my black high waisted skinny jeans. I slipped on some white socks with a red trim and blue anchors. I grabbed my black and red Converes, and went to my bathroom. I straightened and teased my hair. I finished doing my hair and brushed my teeth. Then I grabbed my bag and phone, and walked downstairs. "Bethany Nicole Jaynes.You do not lock your door on me." My Aunt said, a disapproving look on her face. My Aunt was 26 years old, only 11 years older. Yet, she acted like she was a 16 year old girl and I'm her roommate. I personally didn't wanna be part of her 'fantasy' or whatever. I sighed and said "Sorry, but I don't let dancing 26 year old girls come into my room, especially when they are listening to One Direction." She hit me gently and rolled her eyes. I giggled and hugged her. "Bye Lola." I said, "Bye Bethy." She said. I walked outside and waited for my bus. I grabbed my iPod and slipped on my headphones, I turned on some Five Finger Death Punch. I hummed along to Remember Everything, and finally my bus arrived. I walked onto the bus, and sat in my usual seat. I sat alone, and blocked out everyone's negative comments. Especially since today is my birthday. "Happy birthday, scene queen." Some bitch giggled. I rolled my eyes. I sat in my seat, and looked out my window. We stopped at a house, and it was weird.. Because we never stopped here before. A guy walked onto the bus. I prayed under my breath that he wouldn't sit by me, and of course, he sat by me. I just sighed and listened to some Pierce The Veil. He poked me. I took out my headphones. "Yes?" I said. "Your listening to Pierce The Veil?" He said in a sort of shocking way. "Yes, is it bad? Judge me for it." He laughed and smiled. "No, actually I've never met a girl who would ever listen to them." I was shocked. "Where have you been?" I said. We both laughed. "Not where  I should have been.' I smiled and handed him a headphone. We listened to Pierce The Veil, Avenged Sevenfold, and more while talking about a lot of things. Today.. was really good for a change.

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