Memory Loss - One Direction -

Thoughts constantly cluttered the poor boy's mind. He could have saved her, he could have done something other than sit back and pretend nothing ever happened. He could have saved her from dying.


1. Prologue

After eight years, you'd expect him to move on. After eight years, you'd expect him to have already forgotten as well. After eight long years, you'd think he'd finally realize that it really wasn't his fault at all. But, how do you explain that to a boy who had just reached the ago of 18? How do you tell him that the girl he once so dearly cherished died because of her own act? How do you convince an 18 year old boy that he should stop putting such a big weight on his shoulders?

None of the words they told him could make him change his mind. He missed her. He always will, and he had to accept that, he already did accept that. He accepted it after six long years of putting himself through hell. 


*Eight years ago*

"Let's go watch the stars tonight Jane! It'll be so much fun." He whispered in her ear. 

Jane let out a small giggle as she wrapped her arms around Harry's taller figure. "But, my mummy is going to kill me!"

He let out a huff, "Come on you're 9 you can't be saying 'mummy' anymore."

She frowned, "And why not? I love my mummy, there's nothing wrong with calling her that."

Harry's smile faltered as he slipped his arms around her waist. He was one year older than her and taller than her. Even with his older age, when she frowned his stomach would twist as if he wanted to vomit. Her frown made him feel guilty and he didn't like it at all. 

"It's fine, call her what you please. But... come and watch the stars with me. Meet me in the woods tonight, okay?"

Jane hesitantly gave him a nod, not wanting to disappoint him or her mother, before running off back to the entrance of the elementary building. Her mother was there smiling at her like she always was and so was her father, which made Harry's stomach twist even more.

His mother and father divorced three years before, and he rarely saw his father anymore. It was sickening to think of all the happy families, but he shouldn't feel that way about Jane. Never, Jane Dow. She was too precious to him, he couldn't possibly be angry that she was happy. He could never do that.


Whimpering was heard as Harry soundlessly looked for Jane. He turned to the source of the sound and walked towards it. He came to a halt as he neared the end of a cliff and looked down. He froze as he saw a little girl lying on the ground crying.

"J-Jane?!" He yelled. Harry immediately tried to reach down to grab her and pull her up, but instead he fell down himself. He let out a cry as everything went black around him.


"Mum?!" Harry yelled as his mother looked at him with a saddened look.

"Tell me, where's Jane!?" He cried as she just stared at him.

Anne, his mother, pulled him into a warm embrace as he let tears flow out of his eyes. "Shh, baby you tried. You really tried."

"I-I couldn't save her.... NO!! She can't be dead, mum. She can't b-be." He cried as nurses came in to comfort him.


**Six years later**

-Harry's POV-

I put the picture down of the small 9 year old girl. She was smiling so brightly that it was hard to believe I hadn't seen that smile in the past six years. I would never see her smile again either...

"I'll miss you, Jane. I always will, y'know that right?" I whispered.

"HARRY!" Mum yelled up at me.


I turned back to the photo and gave it a weak smile, "This one's for you, Jane"


*Two Years Later*

"But, mum, I can't right now. Listen, I'll call you back, I need to get on stage. Bye, love you too." I rushed and quickly hung up the phone.

I put my phone back on the dresser and looked at my open wallet, a picture protruding from one of the slots. I sighed and shook my head, this wasn't a healthy habit of mine. God, get a hold of yourself Harry. You're eighteen, you can't be in love with a dead nine year old girl, it's obviously never going to happen. You lost the chance when you let her down, she's not coming back.

I furiously took the photo out and threw it into the trash bin. "Good Riddance." I muttered, a feeling of guilty overcoming me.

One last look at the photo, and I walked out of the room. A thought haunted my mind, a memory more like it.... a sweet memory.

"Promise me you'll try to become a singer! Pweeeaaassseeeeee Harry?" A doe eye'd girl begged.

I gave her a small nod, "One day... I'll be a singer just for you Jane. I'll take you on my jet plane and we'll tour together."

She smiled and gave me a hug, "I'll be holding you to that promise Harry." 

I sighed and shut the door, my own words echoing in my head.

"For you... It'll always be for you."

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