An Unexpected Funder

Ginny's Quidditch team doesn't have enough money. Will Draco help, despite his depression? Will she help him in return by being his friend? Or more? And what'll happen when Harry comes back?

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12. Oak

Draco POV

Why does this bother me so much? I don't even like her! She's just another girl, the first after the war, that's true, but certainly not the only girl in the world. There are plenty of others out there, ones who do like me and don't go cheating on me first chance they get.

I let the wind wipe the tears from my cheeks, trying to convince myself they're because of the speed I'm flying at. I've been flying almost all week, it was the only thing I could do to clear my head.

The danger of flying at a high speed through a forest, barely managing to avoid hitting a tree, kept me sane. At least more sane than anything else did. I relished the feeling of the wind ruffling my hair, reminding me of the way her fingers messed it up while we kissed.

Yes, we kissed. Not her. Not me. WE kissed. We're both guilty. Why did she have to be gone before I realised that?

Now we'll never be together again. She's back together with the one she always wanted to be with, she won't leave him for me.

I'm nothing.

I can't even work anymore, just because she's the only thing I can think of. Her kisses, her hair and eyes, the way she laughs, the way her mouth twitches when she thinks something's funny, but knows she shouldn't laugh.

Why can't I get over her? I never felt this way before, so why her? Why now? I've barely managed to live before her, but now I don't even want to try anymore. I don't care people if still think I'm a Death eater, or that 'Malfoy Entreprises' doesn't make any profit. I don't need the money anyway.

The only thing that matters to me right now is her. And she's gone. For good.

I almost crashed into a tree, because of all the tears blurring my vision. I descended quickly before I would really fly into a tree and break my leg. I couldn't handle that on top of everything else.

My landing wasn't as gracious as it normally is, probably because my 'quick descend' was a little too quick after all. I can't do anything right, can I? I can't even fly anymore.

That increased my crying even more, if possible.

I just collapsed in a couple of bushes, not caring what I looked like. The tears kept streaming over my face. Why? Why did she leave me for him. We had a great time together didn't we?

At least I did…

"WHY?" I screamed as hard as I could, I just needed to get that off my chest.

I had no one to talk to, no one to go to for advice, or a pep talk. The only thing I could do was sulk, and there had been plenty of sulking by me all week long, but I couldn't keep going like this.

I had to go to work, the idiots there didn't seem to be able to keep my company running for just a day, let alone a full week.

I sighed, what should I do? Everyone I ever knew is dead, or imprisoned and now, when I try to move on, this happens. It seems as if I'm not supposed to be happy, like I don't deserve it.

Maybe I don't. Maybe I was just meant to die all along, my mother shouldn't have given her life for me. Maybe I should just end it now. There's no one who'll miss me, or cry because I died.

I don't have anyone anymore. So why live? Why not stop, then I don't feel a thing. I wouldn't miss her or love her. I'll be with mother and all my friends and everything will be alright.

It sounded like a better idea than anything I had considered so far. But how to do it? I didn't want to just die, it has to be a spectacle. Maybe I should just fly into a tree, no matter how bad that sounds.

There'll be nobody out here to find me, so I'll die lonely, on my own just as I have been for a long, long time now.

Will anyone miss me at all? Will anybody find me before I'm too far gone to recognise? Probably not… Nobody will look this far away from the Manor, had there been anyone to even look for me at all. I have no use in the world whatsoever, so it's a good thing to end it now.

I mounted my broom before I could change my mind and quickly gained height and speed as is zoomed through the forest looking for a good place to die.

There, a clearing, that should do. It's far away from any of the neighbouring houses and from the Manor. I quickly turned, going even faster than before, faster than I'd ever gone. And aimed right at an immense old oak.

I could feel the wind in my hair, messing it up even worse than it already was. The tears in my eyes because of the speed and because of what I was about to do.

The realisation hit me, I was going to die. Here and now. I would do it myself, who'll do a better job at it than me?

The oak was now just a bunch of metres away from me, I couldn't miss it even if I'd want to. But I didn't. I wanted to die. I couldn't take it any longer. The memories of Ginny kissing Scarhead were agonizing. She looked happy, there in the same alley we kissed not 2 hours before.

She wouldn't miss me.

I pinched my eyes shut. It wouldn't be long before I hit the oak.

My life flashed before my eyes and images of my time at Hogwarts teared me up even more. Father towering over me angry, as usual. And finally my mother, the tears in her eyes, just before she died.

It seemed fitting that the last thing I saw before I died, was her. Her long hair and blue eyes. Standing in the sun, like she did not only a week ago, when we first really met. She looked amazing, just staring at the ruins, as if I'd never really seen her before. I wanted to hug her, pull her into me and never let go again. Claim her mouth with mine, and never part from her. But I realized that would never happen.

She'd always love him, never love me. Never.

Then I hit the tree.

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