It Was Meant To Be

Molly dreams of two things: getting into her first-choice university and finding true love. Music-loving slacker Zayn also dreams of two things:winning the battle of the bands- and winning Molly.He is determined to make her fall in love with him.

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36. Shocking Discoveries

Shocking Discoveries

11th January, 9:18 am

Molly's POV

When Mr Perry turns back to the board, I throw the note on Shania's desk.

Yesterday when I was over at Zayn's, we were studying and he went out for his usual snack-break provisions. I always let him go as long as he gets Oreos with mint filling. So while he was out, I kind of snooped around his room. I found condoms in his night stand drawer and then under some laundry on the floor there was this notebook with all these lyrics about girls. The last thing he wrote was this really intense song about having this really intense sex with some mystery girl. It couldn't have really happened, though. Zayn said he's never had a serious girlfriend before me, so there's no way he's had sex. He's not the kind of shallow guy who would sleep around. Just the thought of him with another girl is infuriating enough.

But that song. It was so real. Like it already happened.

The note lands on my desk again. I cover it with my hand. Mr Perry babbles about the Chain Rule. I slide the note to the edge of my desk. I transfer it to my lap. I unfold it slowly to minimize crackling sounds. So far it says:

 

Sha-

         What if the lyrics weren't about me?

                                              -M

 

M-

Who else would they be about?

-I.

 

Y-

Yo no se. Am I being paranoid?

-Me

 

Me-

It's all you. He's fantasizing like crazy.
He wants you so bad.

-You

 

Bert-

Why do you think he was weird that time I asked him about his old girlfriends?

-Ernie

 

John Mayer-

He's probably embarrassed because he doesn't have a lot of experience. He wants to come off like he's all that with the ladies. Guys tend to think that makes them more attractive. Gag me!

-Jon Stewart

 

Wallace-

It's getting so hard not to sleep with him. I'm turning into a total slut.

-Gromit

 

Pokey-

That's true but you're still the good girl we know and love. For now.

-Gumby

 

I'm just about to write back something particularly X-rated when I noticed how quiet the room is and that Mr Perry is standing by my desk. Looking down at me.

He snatches up the note in one move.

"Perhaps I should  share this with the class?" He threatens.

I'm paralysed with fear. He absolutely cannot read this note. There's just no way.

"Please don't," I whisper.

"I'm sorry? I can't quite her you, Molly."

I look up at him. He's still glaring at me with a look of  disgust. I never want to develop that look. I want to be full of life and light and inner peace. Mr Perry is a test.

The bell rings.

Mr Perry strides up to his desk. He shoves the note under the homework pile. The next minute everyone is packing their books and notebooks into their bags and shuffling out whilst Joe Zedepski is picking his calculator up off the floor. Scott glancing back at me as he leaves the room when he thinks I'm looking and the grinding whirr of the electric pencil sharpener and three kids surrounding Mr Perry whilst the next class is coming in. So it's not that hard for Shania to walk by Mr Perry's desk and rescue our note without Mr Perry noticing.

*

The next day is a teacher conference day, so we don't have school. Which means I get to spend the whole day at Zayn's while his parents are at work.

"Do you want something to drink?" Zayn asks.

"You're just trying to divert attention from the fact that I'm winning."

"You're winning? I don't think so."

"Excuse me. Look at my guys, and then look at yours. What does that tell you?"

"That I currently hold the Guinness Book of World Record for backgammon wins?"

"Uh, no."

I get up from the beanbag and stretch. I make it look casual, but it's a totally strategic move. With this shirt I'm wearing and the way I'm stretching, my shirt pulls up over my stomach. Zayn's eyes are immediately riveted.

In the kitchen, I point to his blender and protein-shake mix sitting on the counter. "Isn't that stuff gross?"

"If I don't breathe through my nose, it's not so bad."

Zayn's wearing my favourite shirt. It's red with white glittery letters. It says 'I'M BIG IN EUROPE.' There's just something about him when he wears it. He rocks my world in that shirt.

I lift myself up to sit on the counter. My head cracks against the cabinet.

"Ow!" I yell.

"Are you okay?" Zayn comes over and puts his hands on my knees. "Where does it hurt?"

"Here." I point.

He puts his hand on my head.

"And here." I touch my lips.

He kisses me and kisses me. I wish we could be alone like this for ever.

Eventually Zayn says, "I was just getting that drink."

"You're supposed to ask me what I want first."

"Right. What would you like? We have orange juice, milk, Tango, iced tea-" And then he takes out the iced tea. He already knows what I want.

I go, "Does anyone drink milk straight?"

"Straight? You mean like a shot?"

"Like, plain. As in not in cereal. I mean, who sits around drinking a glass of milk? Unless you have chocolate cake with it or something."

"Hey, yeah. What's up with that?"

"It's outrageous."

"It's out of control," Zayn says. "Want to go to my room?"

I've been waiting for him to ask me that all day. The anticipation was driving me insane.

It's almost dark now. I usually hate that about winter. How the only time I ever get to see daylight is through a classroom window but Zayn puts music on and turns off the light, and now the darkness is a good thing. He flicks on the lamp next to his bed. It has a blue light bulb in it.

"That's so cool!" I say. "Blue lights are my favourite." It's a sign. They're everywhere.

"There's something I want you to hear." Zayn goes over to his stereo.

Just being in his room is exciting and it smells like him. I remember the first time I opened his wardrobe. That soothing feeling of Here are all his clothes.

Zayn puts a CD on. Then he lies down next to me. I look over at him and think, How did I get here?

He brushes my hair away from my face.

"Hey," he says.

"Hey,"I say.

I have no idea how much time passes when I'm with Zayn, an hour seems like a second. I just want to kiss him and kiss him forever. I never want to leave his room. I try to remember how everything feels while it's happening. When we're apart, I miss the feel of his hands on my body. Then I need to remember how it feels when he touches me.

At one point I hear something downstairs.

"What was that?" I say.

"Probably the porch door. It's always banging open."

Now I'm on top of Zayn. I only have my bra and panties on. His shirt is off, but his jeans are still on. His shirt is off, but his jeans are still on. I wonder how long he's going to wait to take them off. I've already decided I'm getting completely naked tonight.

"Zayn, didn't you hear me?" His dad swings the door open without bothering to knock. He takes in the scene.

He stares at my bra.

"Oh," he says. "You must be Molly."

"Dad!" Zayn yells. "Can't you knock?"

"I was honking my horn, but I guess you didn't hear me." He's apparently attempting to have a normal conversation like this girl he's never seen before is not lying on top of his son in her underwear. "I need you to move your car. We can't get in." The he leaves.

I'm like, "Oh my god."

I am mortified. This is the worst. That did not just happen.

"Oh my god." I get up. My arms are shaky as I pull on my clothes. "That did not just happen."

Zayn sits up. "Don't worry, it'll be OK. I don't know why they're home so early." He comes over to hug me. "I'm so sorry about this. I'll run down and see if we can sneak out."

"What should I do?" I look out of the window and try to estimate how far up we are. There's no way I'm going downstairs.

"Don't worry," he says again. Which is easy to say if you weren't the one who got caught like a skank."I'll be right back. Then we'll go."

I stand in the middle of his room, trying to think clearly. What can I tell them? What do you say in this kind of situation? "Hey, people, what's good? Thanks for not coming in ten minutes later, Mr Malik. My bra would have been off, too!"

I don't think so.

A few minutes later, Zayn's mum comes in.

"Molly?" She holds out her hand. "I'm Mrs Malik. It's great to finally meet you. I'm sorry Mr Malik forgot how to knock."

"I'm so sorry about this." I'm trying really hard not to cry. "This is really embarrassing."

"I know, but I think Mr Malik has recovered. We've never met any of Zayn's girlfriends." She smiles. "Until now, of course." She puts her arm around me. "Mr Malik really has been wanting to meet you, so why don't you say hi and then Zayn can drive you home. OK?"

I nod gratefully. Imagine if I had to stay for tea or something but now I'm pissed. Zayn's girlfriends? As in more than one? As in he's had girlfriends, even though he told me he hasn't been in a serious relationship before me? I won't ask him about it, though. I don't want to be the nagging, jealous-girlfriend type. I just want to trust him and his mum just said they've been wanting to meet me, so Zayn obviously told them about me.

When I get downstairs, Mr Malik is in the kitchen making coffee.

"Hi, again." I try for the humorous approach.

"Oh!" Mr Malik says. "You look quite different with your clothes on!" He laughs at this.

He did not just say that.

"We should really get going, Dad." Zayn takes my hand. I guess hand-holding is nothing is nothing compared to catching us practically doing it.

"All right, now," he tells the coffee beans. "Take care, Molly. Hope we see you again soon."

We walk outside.

"Right," I say to Zayn. "With clothes on."

Zayn laughs.

I swat his arm. "It's not funny! I am so mortified I could die right now."

"Oh, don't worry." He opens the car door for me. "In a few weeks you'll be laughing about this."

"Your parents must think I'm a total sleaze."

"Are you kidding? My parents love you. They always say how you're the reason my grades rock now. They're probably in there celebrating that I finally have a serious girlfriend. I'm sure they were wondering when I was going to come out."

We dissect the encounter for the entire ride home. I can't imagine ever being able to laugh about this one day. Then again, the old me wouldn't have been able to imagine living my life on my own terms, regardless of what everyone else thinks and now here I am.

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