It Was Meant To Be

Molly dreams of two things: getting into her first-choice university and finding true love. Music-loving slacker Zayn also dreams of two things:winning the battle of the bands- and winning Molly.He is determined to make her fall in love with him.

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30. Finally Found

Finally Found

10th November, 5.53 pm

Molly's POV

The mall has a tacky atmosphere and bad lighting and uncomfortable places to sit. It's awkward. Just like the conversation we are about to have.

I was planning to take Andrew to the food court and do I there but I can't wait any more.

"Andrew?"

"Hmmm?" The window of Victoria's secrets is distracting him. As usual, anything that's even remotely about sex is more interesting to him than I am. The frigid virgin.

"We need to talk."

Andrew shifts his backpack. "About what?" He says.

I stop walking near the escalator. "Us."

I guess he can tell from my face that this conversation is about to get ugly, because he goes, "What's with you lately, anyway?"

"That's what I want to talk about." It's occurring to me that planning out exactly what to say, although it seems like a good idea at the time, was actually useless. "Look..." I don't want to hurt his feelings but how can he not get hurt? "I don't think it's a good idea for us to go out anymore."

"You're breaking up with me?" Andrew laughs. "That's rich."

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"Caitlin was right about you."

For the first time, I don't care what his friends think or what he thinks. So I decide to ignore him. I'm expecting this huge confrontation with a lot of yelling and I'm sure Andrew wants to know why I am breaking up with him but he doesn't even say anything else. He just turns and walks away and suddenly the whole thing is suddenly over. Like we never happened in the first place.

So that's how it's possible to break up with someone without hurting their feelings. It's easy to do if they care.

When Elizabeth picks me up out front, the first thing I say is, "Go."

She swerves around other cars. "Where?"

"Take me to Zayn's."

"Which way is that?"

"Turn left up here. I'll show you."

"So what happened?"

"It's over."

Elizabeth looks at me. "Was it nasty?"

"It was mainly just weird and disappointing. It was like he didn't even care. I'm sure he's already scoping out some junior just dying to lose her virginity."

"He's such an ass."

"Oh! And he was all shocked that I was the one breaking up with him. Like any day now he was going to dump me for not sleeping with him."

"He's so conceited."

"I know!"

I feel free. All of these possibilities are becoming a reality. It's just like I've been visualizing all along.

"Well," Elizabeth says, "you're officially the coolest person I know."

"But who's cooler thank you? You were the one who rejected the popular clones first."

"Yeah, but you rule."

"Woo-hoo!" I roll the window down. What I just did finally hit me. "Yeah!" I yell out of the window. "I did it!"

"Yes, sweetie, you did. Now could you maybe roll the window up?? It couldn't possibly be any colder in here."

I roll up the window. I have that giddy feeling like when your life is going exactly the way you want it, and so you feel like asking someone questions about their own life.

"Hey," I go. "What's happening with you and Sam?"

Sam is the guy Elizabeth's been seeing. They met in Tower when they both reached at the same time for the only 10,000 Maniacs unplugged CD left. Sam let her take it. Then she let him take her to Johnny Rocket's. Sam is in college at Rurgers, But he still lives around with his parents.

"Not as much as I want," Elizabeth says. "He only calls me like a couple of times a week. I hate when guys play that game."

"You could always call him." I point for her to turn up ahead.

"No. I want to know how much he's into me. If I call him, it gets too hard to tell."

"Maybe he wants to call but he doesn't want to come on too strong."

"I thought of that." Elizabeth clicks on her blinker to make a left turn. "But it doesn't make sense. When we're alone, it totally feels like he's into me. But then... he doesn't call. If he was really that into me, wouldn't he call more?"

"I feel it but then I don't know if it's for real or if he's playing me. You know?"

"Yeah." Elizabeth and Shania and I have wasted so much time talking about the mixed messages of Elizabeth's many boyfriends. Guys she doesn't even know any more but I guess it's not a waste. If we didn't spend so much time talking about what we want, how will we recognize it when it finally happens?

Elizabeth slows down at Zayn's street. There're woods all along one side and houses on the other. She pulls over across from his house and turns the car off.

"You sure you don't mind waiting?"

"Are you kidding?" Elizabeth says. "I'll take any distraction from the home life I can get."

Standing in Zayn's dark yard behind a huge tree, I don't even care that I'm freezing. When his car pulls into the driveway, I crouch down. I hear the car door slam. I hear him crunching across the dead grass. I hear his car keys jingle.

When he walks by me, I run out from behind the tree and throw my arms around his back.

Zayn yells. He whirls around.

"Sorry," I say. "Can I walk you too your door?"

I can see Zayn smile in the dark. Light from the streetlamp reflects off his eyes. "Sure."

I hold his hand. We walk to the porch and climb the stairs. Somehow I know I won't be left alone on his porch, waiting for the kind of kiss I want.

I look up at Zayn expectantly.

"So," he says.

"So," I say.

"How'd it go?"

"OK. Everything's OK."
"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Zayn smiles at me.

I smile at him.

He brushes my cheek softly with his fingers. He leans down and then it's happening. Oh my god. He's actually kissing me he's kissing me and this is for real.

Then I relax and it feels like this missing part of me has finally been found.

 

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