My everything

One Direction is a boyband. And I'm in love with them. I can't think of anything else. I cry at night because I'm not near them.

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15. What happened?

"I hope I'll see you soon" Harry said when he dropped me off at my house. I went inside and walked to my room to unpack. My parents came home and we ate dinner and laughed and had fun. I missed this. When we finished our dinner we watched television in the living room. I couldn't believe that my life was this normal again. I went to my room and laid bed at 10 pm. I wasn't supposed to fall asleep, but I did.

"Beep beep" my alarm said. It was 6 am. I took my phone to text Harry, but his number wasn't there. Why did I delete it? I went downstairs to get ready and ate breakfast. My mom and dad didn't seem as happy as yesterday. I went outside to wait for Harry to pick me up. "Why are you standing here? You should be at the bus stop" my mom said and walked into her car. "Mom I am waiting for Harry" I said. "Who's Harry? A new friend of yours?" my mom said. "Mom you know Harry" I said. She looked at me like I was a freak. "Okay sweetheart, Harry won't come today. Now go to the bus stop please. You're going to be late" she said and drove away to work. Harry was properly busy, so I went to the bus stop and took the bus. I hated the bus so much, and I suddenly remembered why I wanted to drive with Harry instead. 

When I arrived to the school I was Lauren, and I went over to her to talk to her. "Hi Lauren. I had fun with my family yesterday, and I went home from Harry's 2 hours after school" I said. She looked at me like she wasn't sure if I talked to her. "Why are you telling me this? What's your name?" she said wondering. "I'm Zooey? You asked me to tell you this yesterday" I said. "I'm sorry, but are you sure it is me who talked to you yesterday? I have never talked to you before, I'm sorry" she said, and walked away. I didn't get it. Why would she say that? I felt dizzy. I didn't want to be here, so I decided to walk away again. 

I arrived to the square. I had memorized the way to Harry's house, so I decided to walk there. The fields looked different than they used to look. But when I had walked for 15 minutes I suddenly realized. Maybe this had been a dream. Being with Harry hadn't seemed very real and everyone had been acting like it never happened. I decided to walk home. My life was just like it was before. I couldn't believe it. I hated my life. I hated everything about it. I didn't want to do this anymore. 

My home seemed different. It didn't feel like home. Nothing felt like home anymore. I went to the shed to get a rope. I had decided to do this. I couldn't do this anymore. But I couldn't leave without a goodbye letter. I decided to write about why I had decided to commit suicide, what I wanted for my funeral and that I was sorry  and I would miss everybody. Or not everybody, just my mom, dad and Hayley. I wanted Hayley to come to my funeral, and I wanted her to post on Twitter what happened to me. Then maybe I would be one of those beautiful Directioners who had killed herself. I had read so many stories about them. I wanted One Direction to know about me. I cried so hard. I tied the rope to my fan, and stepped on a chair. "Goodbye" I whispered, and jumped off the chair. 

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