Wanting What's Wrong

Two years have passed since Sophie Miller escaped. Two years since she was One DIrections private possession. Trying to get her life back to normal, Sophie heads to Mullingar. The boys of One Direction find her and drag her back into their messed up lives. Feelings start showing here and there, making Sophie confused. Is it really okay to start having feelings towards your kidnappers? Afterall, there is a very thin line between love and hate...


18. Zayn

“So Sophie.... Would you like to tell me what pushed you to hurt yourself? Because I strongly doubt it was in your intentions when you ran out of your room.”

“Zayn.... I feel bad for what I’m doing to you guys.... Niall was right earlier.” I realise. “I’m no better than all of you. I even made Harry and him fight against each other.” I blink a couple times, trying to fight back the tears that were menacing to fall.

“Soph calm down.... We’re guys. We fight all of the time for the attention of a hot girl.” Zayn sighs.

“That’s the thing Zayn...I’m not hot....” I mumble. “I’m a fat whore.” I start sobbing, digging my face into my legs, cradling myself into my arms. Zayn moves around so he’s right beside me. He hugs me closer to him and my head lulls onto his shoulder. He leans his own on mine, rubbing my arm lovingly.

“Hey... Shhh... Stop the waterworks love....” He coos affectionately. “You’re not fat. You’re gorgeous alright? We wouldn’t be fighting so hard to keep you with us if you weren’t.” He continues, hugging me.

“You’re not even fighting that much anymore,” I remark, before rapidly clamping my mouth shut with my hand. Shut up Soph! Why can’t you shut up when it’s good for you?!?

He looks at me longly before answering.

“You remember how two years ago I wasn’t very nice with you?” I could feel him stiffen at the mention of his past actions, but he continued anyways. “And then not long after, the boys found you in a pool of blood?”

I nod, flinching.

“Well I went outside. I wanted to take some fresh air, take my mind off things you know? So I took a walk around London, cigarette in hand. But then there was this girl... She seemed weird as her hair had an uncommon colour: It was purple. But even if I kept eyeing her in fascination, she bravely came over to me. ‛You shouldn’t smoke, it’s bad for your health,’ she had said. ‛I don’t care anymore,’ was all I replied. And she asked me why. And then, with these words, we started talking like we were friends. We finished off up walking in the park and I ended up telling her about you.”

He pauses, exhaling loudly before looking at me straight in the eyes.

“And she told me that if I loved something, I had to set it free. And if it doesn’t come back, it was never meant to be.”

I’m confused about why he was sharing this with me.

“Somehow, that night when we held the party, I knew you we’re going to attempt an escape, just by how easily you forgave me. I was angry at first, but then you talked to me about my smoking, just like the girl, Perrie, had. So I decided to help you escape, by keeping the boys occupied.”

“Y-y-you kept the boys occupied?” I enquire, flabbergasted.

“Yup. While you were dancing with Nialler, I had spiked Louis drink to make him a little sick, and I convinced Liam to look after Lou afterwards. Then, Niall had followed you after you had refused his kiss. But I managed to persuade him to get his mind off things with some shots. And as for Hazz, you send him a couple girls when he’s drunk and he’s done for the rest of the night. But he was harder to win over since he kept looking for you. I swear that boy is really attached to you.” Zayn finishes.

“But what about the text I received.” I recall. This is a joke... Zayn didn’t do all this for me did he?

“Liam had looked outside the window just as you left.... I remember his fury as he went and told the other boys... Harry sobered up pretty quick but it was too late. None of the boys know I helped you Soph... Can we keep it that way? I was against taking you again but you know Harry right? He’s so persuasive and I didn’t want to give myself out...” Zayn begs softly, craning his neck so we’re starting right at each other. He’s dead serious....

“You’re still in contact with Perrie aren’t you?”

“Umm... Yeah... Why?”

“She’s good for you Zayn.... She changed you and put you in the right direction way faster than any other person could’ve done.”

“I can only go in One Direction,” he chuckles. I sigh smiling.

“But it needs to be the right one.... Maybe we have to convert the other guys... I think Louis is a moot point these days....”

At that moment, Zayn’s phone buzzes. He looks at it, smiles and shows it to me. “Talk about the devil...”


The ice cream is melting!

Hurry your arses up or I’m eating all of it!



“Let’s go then...” I mumble, trying to stand up.

“Here let me help you.... It could be dangerous with all your loss of blood. You could get dizzy and fall.” Zayn says, picking me up bridal-style in his arms.

“No... Put me down! I’m too heavy...” I struggle a bit.

“Nonsense,” Zayn rolls his eyes.

I try wriggling out of his arms but end up collapsing in fatigue.

“See...You’re only tiring yourself by trying to fight me anyways... And you’re on the verge of passing out.” He responds. I huff and nuzzle in his chest, wrapping my arms around his neck.

“Am I gonna be able to meet Perrie one day?” I mutter as he starts walking around in the house.

“Why would you want that?” He replies, looking down at me as he continues walking.

“Just to thank her. And I don’t think it’d do me wrong to have some girl company here...”

“I’ll talk to Harry yeah? It’s just... I don’t even think I want Perrie to see what we actually do to you.”

I sigh, shutting my eyes. Then don’t do it.

“Hey don’t shut your eyes now love... We’re here.” Zayn nudges me in his arms. “You’ll be jumping around as soon as we get some sugar into your system...”

But what if I don’t want to eat... I’ll get fat... Negative thoughts haunt my mind again.

“So what we’re you two talking about?” Louis demands excitedly as Zayn places me on one of the couches. He sits beside me as Louis continues his interrogation. “Was Zayn deep and all?”

“Of course he was... He’s Zayn.” I wink, before taking a good look around. The room was huge, and quite comfy, with a half-circle orange sofa placed around a little table. There was a big screen up front.

Zayn places me on my feet, but keeps a firm grip on my arm, helping me keep my balance from all the wooziness I was experiencing. I really did lose a lot of blood...

“Here.” Louis shoves me a bowl of ice cream. I look at it. ‛Ben & Jerry’s Cookie Dough.’ I don’t take it, eyeing it warily.

“You’re going to have to eat some of that.” Harry instructs, crossing his arms over his chest as he inspects me up and down. Making sure Zayn didn’t damage me rather...

“But I’m not hungry...” I lie, biting my lip.

“That’s not true... You’re always up for a snack.” Niall denies.

“Look if we have to force sugar into you with a needle, we will. But you have to get your energy back.” Liam presses. What?!? They have needles? Oh god... He’s kidding... Trying to scare the shit out of me right? Well good job...

“Come on Soph, love, we won’t have to get to that right? Here.” Louis gives me the bowl again and this time I take it. “This will only do you good.”

“Fine.” I give up and he hands me a spoon, urging me to take a seat. Zayn takes place to my right, his hand around my shoulders in care. The action automatically makes me snuggle up a little closer to him in order to get more body warmth. 

I was already starting to feel a stronger connection with Zayn since our earlier conversation. The fact that I now knew he had subtly taken part into my escape two years ago had strongly aided our bonding. And our prior conversation, which made me discover he had a hidden side, had done me good. As Zayn would say, it calmed my rollercoaster of emotions.  But is it right to feel closer to Zayn? I don’t know. What I do know is that it is now a little safer to be around Zayn. Not a hundred percent secure, but a good seventy five percent. Thank you Perrie. Whoever you are. You deserve an award.

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