Wanting What's Wrong

Two years have passed since Sophie Miller escaped. Two years since she was One DIrections private possession. Trying to get her life back to normal, Sophie heads to Mullingar. The boys of One Direction find her and drag her back into their messed up lives. Feelings start showing here and there, making Sophie confused. Is it really okay to start having feelings towards your kidnappers? Afterall, there is a very thin line between love and hate...


13. Wars

The ride to the manor was quiet, apart from the low hum of the car and the occasional tapping of Louis’s fingers on the steering wheel. Once we arrive, he stops the engine and sighs, his head falling backwards tiredly. He turns his face towards mine.

“Do you think you can forget what happened today?” He exhales, turning his head back around to face forwards.

“Why would you want that?” I question quietly.

“I don’t like to be the one known for losing control: It’s not the image I want people to have of me. And having you all to myself, even if it’s only for a couple hours, doesn’t help the case.” He ends, looking everywhere but me.

“What people?”

“The lads, the fans, the press, the paparazzi.... you.” He trails on, before looking back at me.

I’m stunned, speechless.

“That’s part of the reason I act so ‘immature’ everywhere.” He continues, frustration slowly bubbling in his accented voice. “Because if I let my crazy live while I’m young, cracking up jokes, not giving a fuck self side dominate, everyone is happier that way. No one minds being foolish around me, because I’m foolish myself. But then recently, fans have started calling me rude and childish and my crazy side is disappearing, leaving the dark, serious side take control. Why can’t they fuckin’ shut up some times? Let us live our lives as we please? I’ll be a monster if they continue like that? I don’t want that! That’s not the side I want them to see!” He yells, hitting the steering wheel furiously. I see him flinch, mirroring me, at the contact of his hand on the hard leather. Tears of frustration flood his usually joyful cerulean eyes. “Sophie... I don’t want to be seen like this...” He persists, placing his head in his hands. “I don’t know what to do anymore...”

“Maybe you should find a girl to keep you in track. One just like you.” I try.

“I have you, Soph.” He grumbles.

“No Louis. Another girl. One you can’t claim power over like you do with me. One you could go public with.”

“Having a girlfriend would mean that I would have stop fucking you.” He says it like it’s a terrible thing to stop using me as their pleasure toy, as if it’s a huge demand. “I like fucking you. You’re a great fuck.”

God. Is it so much to ask? A great fuck? Yippee. You boys are driving me crazy. This is insane.

Louis continues, interrupting my state of disbelief: “But if I don’t stop using you for personal pleasure, well you saw how it turned out with Harry two years ago when she learned about you two. When his ex learned about you two’s ‘sex-full’ affiliation, she broke up, obviously. That gave Harry a strong dose of frustration, which sent him into an ‘I want to fuck Sophie so hard’ frenzy.” He sighs. “I don’t wanna do that... I don’t wanna terrorize you like Zayn did. Because I know that won’t have Harry's control if ever I live through a break up and you’re near. I won’t be able to hold back like Harry did because my love for you clearly isn’t as strong as Harry’s.”

I remember the intensity of it all, on that particular day Louis was talking about. Even the lyrics of the song that was playing.




“Ouch Harry!” I complain, lightly pushing against his shoulders to try gaining some kind of control over his harsh actions.

“Take it! You deserve it! You dumped me.” he growls back, ramming deeply inside me. I grab his face, forcing him to look into my eyes.

“Harry, it’s me. Sophie. I’m not her.” I try, thumbs sliding across his cheekbones. He slowly stops thrusting and I see tears of frustration mixing with the shower water. “I’m sorry.” I say. But he takes it as I’m still his ex girlfriend.

“Oh you will be!” Brusquely, he restarts his actions and my lower regions are once again twisted in pain.


I wanna fuck you like an animal

I wanna feel you from the inside
I wanna fuck you like an animal
My whole existence is flawed


His pace slows down a little as the song’s lyrics get into his head. He starts losing stamina, and a little pleasure makes way inside me.


Help me tear down my reason
Help me; it's your sex I can smell
Help me; you make me perfect
Help me become somebody else


I moan softly and he kisses my nose tenderly, before joining his lips with mine. Knowing he isn’t angry anymore, I respond to the kiss with immense satisfaction of having normal Harry back, and not the anger-driven one.

“I like you a lot Sophie you know that?” He mumbles suddenly, hiding in my neck.


[End of Flashback]


I shake out of the vivid memory, skin tingling. I rub it off discretely.

“Look Lou, I’m no psychologist, but I think you should find a girl you can take care of properly and spoil a bit, without having Harry on your back. Because he is on your back since my return yeah? He doesn’t want any of you guys to be too nice with me when he’s not around to watch right?”

“Right...” He admits. Harry, you selfish bastard.

“But Louis deep down, you have feelings. You’re a free spirit that can show emotions when you have to. You said it yourself earlier. Lou, you need to express these feelings to someone, be free with another person other than with the band or me.”

“But who then?” He sighs.

“I don’t know Louis! I didn’t even have the chance to experience proper relationships because of you guys!”

He shoots me a warning glare and I regret yelling immediately. Moody Louis alert.

“Maybe you should call your mom and talk?” I try again, voice softer. “Or Lottie? She could be a good confidant if you don’t want to say certain things to your mum. I’m sure she’d understand.” I say, attempting to change his sour mood. He doesn’t reply, but I can tell he’s thinking about it. Not knowing what to do anymore, I look around, nonchalantly evaluating the size of the massive manor in front of us. My gaze averts from it as I hear a strangled groan and my eyes suddenly land on Louis’s left hand.

“Louis... Do your fingers hurt? They are throbbing.” I state, taking his hand in mine carefully.

“Must’ve hit my hand too hard on the wheel earlier, no big deal.” He shrugs it off like it’s nothing, but it’s clear that he’s pained.

“Lou... they’re swollen. We should go put some ice on them.” I recommend, my fingers ghosting his injured ones.

“Fine.” He abandons before getting out of the car.  Huffing, I do the same. But before I can do anything else, Louis grabs my left hand with his right one, and drags me along the dirt road leading to the dwelling.

“Lou. I need my stuff. I need my bag if you guys want me to do some schoolwork.” I stop him.

“Go get the damn bag.” He exhales, gently shoving me back in the direction of the car.

He stays perfectly immobile as I head back to his car, grab my bag and get back to him. His head low, he once again takes my left hand in his right one and leads me inside the manor, kicking stones on his way there.

As soon as we set foot inside, there are excited shouts and tumbling of feet. We freeze, ears wide open.

“Ouch Zayn! Guys they’re back! Stop the shooting!” Niall’s Irish voice resonates from somewhere above us. Shooting? Oh no. They aren’t killing themselves right?

“Oww! Stop now! Do not mess with Daddy Direction Harry!” I recognise Liam authoritative command. “Ouch Hazz! Zayn! Niall, help me out!”

“Ha-ha you’re such a wuss Liam!” I think its Harry, but it could be Zayn.

“Say that again yeah?”

“Nah maybe later. First one downstairs gets to hug and kiss Sophie!” Definitely Harry.

“Guys, I don’t think that―” Zayn is cut by a chorus of voices.


What? I blink in confusion while Louis keeps looking at his wounded fingers.

 Seconds later, I’m engulfed into a welcoming Horan hug.

“You alright love?” His sweet Irish voice demands in my ear, before pulling back to look at my face. His eyes linger more than necessary on my lips.

 I notice something in his hair. What the fuck? Why does he have goggles on his head?

“I-I-I I’m perfectly fine,” I stutter, a little overwhelmed. “But Louis, on the other hand....” I chuckle lightly at my pun while motioning the older boy’s swollen digits. “I think he is in need of ice.” I finish, my eyes not leaving the safety glasses that sat peacefully in his blonde hair. My eyebrow cocks up in need of an explanation.

He looks upwards, confused.

“Oh yeah these.” He chuckles and pulls them down so they’re resting in his neck. “We had a battle.” He explains vaguely. What in the world? Could he care to elaborate more?

Niall clearly doesn’t see my bewildered features as he turns to face Louis.

“What happened to you, mate?”

“I hit a steering wheel alright?” He snaps. It is clear in his disturbed cobalt eyes that he would’ve wanted to join in their ‘battle’ or whatever. Ha-ha childish Louis is back!

“Why would you hit a steering wheel?” Niall asks, holding in giggles.

“I’ll tell you over tea yeah? I don’t think it is too much to ask for ice right now.” The older boy exhales, pouting a bit.

“Sure,” He sniggers. “I’ll be seeing you,” Niall adds to me before they both go elsewhere, leaving me alone.

I frown.

Niall? Leave me alone when Harry isn’t there to― never mind.

I’m practically shocked to see Harry striding joyfully towards me, the same weird goggles as Niall on his head. He picks me up bridal-style, hugging me tightly. Whoa. Happy much?

“I won!” he yells to Liam and Zayn who are panting behind him.

“No.” I protest in his arms. “Technically Ni―”

His mouth is suddenly on mine for a soft, tender kiss. His arms wrap tighter around my form, encouraging me to melt into his pleasant kiss. I decide to give in, only because it is caring, which makes him smile on my mouth. He pulls back slowly, his green orbs never leaving mine, keeping my lower lip in between his teeth for a few seconds before backing off completely.

“Was here first.” I finish, a little out of breath. And I wasn’t even the one doing the running. “You bastard! You can’t go sweet kissing a person like that by surprise!” I exclaim, punching his torso lightly. Ouch, my knuckles.

“Hello to you to.” He chuckles, placing me back on my feet. “So you liked the kiss?”


“Liar... You said it yourself that I couldn’t go sweet kissing.” He replies, a proud grin on his face. I poke his cheek.

“I didn’t say that! I meant mouth raping.”

He pokes my cheek back.

“No, you said sweet kissing.” He sing-songs. I poke him again.

“Where’s Lou?” Zayn interrupts Harry’s and I’s little quarrel. The curly haired boy places his arms around my waist, hugging me to himself.

“He went to get ice with Niall.” I respond, shrugging Harry off.

“So Niall was the first one down.” Harry sighs. He nuzzles in my neck a little, his curls tickling me. “Did he kiss you?” He questions huskily in my ear.

“Oh god. Louis went to get ice? What did The Tommo do this time?” Liam asks groaning, joining our little trio in the entrance.

“No Harry, Niall only hugged me. And Liam, Louis hit a steering wheel.”

“Why would he do that?” Zayn enquires, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Out of anger. Look, Louis is unstable these days... I can’t be the only one that noticed. I think you guys should go talk to him. And have another round of whatever you were playing before I arrived. He seemed to want to join.”

“A Nerf war?” Harry questions. So that’s what they’ve been playing. Thank god.

 “Yeah that. Where can you even have a Nerf war?” I ask incredulously.

“We have a special room for that.” Liam answers like it’s obvious.

“Sorry. I never had the time to visit the whole mansion yet.” I retort.

“What mansion?” Zayn questions, looking around.

“She means the house.” Harry explains, chuckling. “Sophie, you’ll have the chance to visit when you deserve it.”

I roll my eyes.

“I don’t want to visit it; I want to prevent myself from getting lost in it.” I reply.

“You won’t get lost: You’ll always have one of us with you anyways.” Harry shrugs.

“I’m hungry!” We hear Niall yell from somewhere to the right.

“So I guess that means I’ll go make supper, and I’ll leave you with Liam yeah?” Harry ends, giving me to Liam. “You two had something to do?”

“Yes. She owes me something.” Liam answers, taking my hand in his. Crap I forgot about that. “We’ll be done before supper.” He says before taking me through one or two hallways and up a staircase. He pushes me through a door. His room.

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