Wanting What's Wrong

Two years have passed since Sophie Miller escaped. Two years since she was One DIrections private possession. Trying to get her life back to normal, Sophie heads to Mullingar. The boys of One Direction find her and drag her back into their messed up lives. Feelings start showing here and there, making Sophie confused. Is it really okay to start having feelings towards your kidnappers? Afterall, there is a very thin line between love and hate...


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17. Sharp

“Sophie!”

I can’t look behind me, engulfing into his room and out. I hear four other doors open brusquely. I panic, running down a hallway, then another. Their hurried steps come closer. I can hear their shouts as I struggle to find my way in the mansion.

“Sophie please!”

“Soph!”

“Sophie Miller get back here!”

 Their shouts get clearer. I do a sudden left turn and open a door, enter and lock it behind me. My breathing is ragged and uncontrolled as I slide down the door’s hard surface, crying with my hands in my hands. I’m such a terrible person....

Seconds later, there are harsh knocks on the door behind me. I’m shaking like a leaf.

“Soph, open up please!” Louis demands. There’s a faint jingling of keys and the rattling of the doorknob. “Lads there is no key for this door!”

“You’re fingers are swollen, you can’t do the searching job right.” Harry bites back.

“Hey!” Louis replies. “I’m hurt.”

“You’ll get over it.”

There’s more jingling.

“Aww c’mon! There is no key!”

“See! I was right!”

“Louis, not right now please! Niall, what the fuck were you two arguing about? What put her in this state?!?”

“You!” The Irish lad responds hatefully. “You’re the one that always puts her in that saddened state!” I hear a shove.

“Boys.” Liam warns bringing them back to order. “Stop it. You’re brothers. Band mates.” They are band mates... Brothers... I did this to them again... A fresh round of tears start.

I could hear their arguing on the other side of the door as I leaned my head backwards in exasperation, eyes closed, face tear stained. The action makes a small thud.

“She’s leaning against the door?”

“Yes! Probably crying!” Niall utters.

“Why would she choose the bathroom, of all the places, to go cry?”

“She chose the first door she could see, she doesn’t know her way around here!” Harry’s husky voice replies gruffly. The doorknob rattles, and then a fist pounds on the door.

“Soph open up! Please! We just wanna talk!”

I’m in the bathroom?

It’s the only phrase I can process. I open my eyes and confirm what Zayn just said. I am in the bathroom. The white, pure, luxurious bathroom. Bathrooms are filled with weird stuff...

“What did you do to her Niall?”

“All I had to! That is until you texted!”

I didn’t pay any attention to their arguing, as I slowly stood up, wiping tears. I walk to the sink sluggishly, thoughts running wild in my head.

You’re no better than me! You start apologizing for your mood swings, and then you’re angry again when my sentiments start getting in the way!” Niall’s words rang loudly as I robotically start rummaging through cabinets for the instrument I was searching for. “CAN’T YOU PUT TWO AND TWO TOGETHER?” His voice strikes again in my head. He loves me...?

“Lads! She’s not against the door anymore! I swear she moved!” Louis is the one that panics.

I open another cupboard, and a little bell rings, making me jump slightly. My eyes fall upon the contents of the dresser. Bingo.

“Soph don’t!” The doorknob rattles again. “Guys stop fighting she opened the bathroom cabinet with the sharp objects!”

“Shit.” Harry curses.

“Don’t say shit! Do something you twat!” Niall says, clearly angry.

“Sophie please don’t! Why the fuck don’t we have the key to this door?!? Sophie, restrain yourself from doing this!” He pounds on the door.

“Soph please I’m sorry! I wasn’t thinking alright? All my thoughts just poured out of my mouth, fuelled by anger and jealousy!”

“Don’t scar your skin again please! I know it might feel good in your thoughts, but it’s not alright! You’ll worsen things!” Zayn?

“I have to...” I mumble hoarsely, holding my wrist in the light. “I’m a terrible person... I can’t even protect Emily from you guys...” I mutter tears coming back up as I remember her frightened look when in Harry’s presence. “I’m a bad person....” The razor digs down in the feeble skin, stinging at the first contact. Burgundy blood pebbles scatter on the cuts as I add more and more in a mechanical manner, the pain numbing everything else.

“Sophie it’s not the right way to express yourself!” Liam?

“See what you did Harry?!? This is just brilliant!”

“Me?!? I wasn’t the one yelling at her!”

“For once!”

“Guys! Shut up! We have to bust the door down or she might seriously harm herself! She’s not thinking straight right now!” Louis ends. Little dots cloud my vision.

“On three.” Liam instructs. “One, two THREE!” There’s a loud thud, followed by the cracking of wood.

“Again!”

“One, two THREE!”

This time, they do smash through the door. It falls to the ground and suddenly, they’re on me. Harry slaps the razor out of my hands and places my arms inside the sink.

“Liam hold her up! She’s awfully pale! Louis help him!” The curly haired boy instructs.

My knees give out from under me just as Liam and Louis grab under my shoulders, hoisting me up.

“Please...” I beg hoarsely. “I’m an awful person... Lemme do this...” I start reaching for the razor but Harry locks my wrists into one hand.

“No you’re not an awful person; we are the awful people who make you think that.” Harry retorts looking right at me, eyes glazed with worry. He spins back around and opens the tap.

My eyes suddenly close in fatigue.

“Soph don’t pass out please!” Niall begs, squeezing my arm.

As soon as the cold water makes contact with my skin, I wince. “Please no... It hurts,” I groan, struggling feebly in Liam’s and Louis’s arms.

“But we need to cleanse your cuts... This could be dangerous for you... You could get infections....” Louis tries to resonate but I’m half listening as Harry starts washing them, his thumb pads carefully tracing each one of them before rinsing them with the cold water. The sink has a pink glow as he continues the treatment carefully.

“Zayn, grab some bandages! The blood won’t stop flowing!” Harry starts panicking.

I start slipping out of consciousness, overwhelmed by everything that is happening.

“Liam, don’t let her pass out!” Zayn warns the younger boy.

“Soph... Hey stay here with us....” Liam murmurs into my hair, keeping me in a standing position over the sink as the other four boys took care of my arms. He starts whispering sweet nothings as they start the painful process of disinfecting the open skin and bandaging it. It stings. Bad. I never had disinfected cuts before, due to the fact that I have loathed peroxide on open flesh since my childhood. And what they were doing to me right now was just confirming my hate for it. One of them takes a painful stab on a deep cut with a cotton wad.

“Oww! It hurts! Stop it please!” I plea, writhing as much as I could in Liam’s strong grip.

 “It’ll be better in a minute okay beautiful? Shhh... Stop struggling it’ll only take longer if you do....” Liam mumbles in my hair. I shut my eyes, swallowing the pain.

“Liam?!? Did she pass out?” Niall panics.

“Keep her awake! She’s lost so much blood it could be dangerous!”

“I’m not passed out... I’m just shutting my eyes because I’m tired and it hurts.” I hiccup.

“Niall go get her some sugar and some water!” Harry commands as some kind of fabric is pressed on my cuts.

“I don’t have to listen to you.” Niall snaps back.

“Not the time Niall! Louis, how do the bandages go?” Harry continues impatiently as I feel Niall’s presence leaving the room.

“Do I look like a fucking nurse? My mom is the nurse, not me!” Louis responds, on the verge of freaking out also.

“So competent guys... I bet you couldn’t babysit a child without risking his death.” I mutter.

“Hey we babysit Lux sometimes.” Louis retorts, mocking hurt.

“Lemme put the bandages yeah?” I grumble, reaching for the things Zayn and Harry had in their hands.

“No.” Harry protests. “Tell us how... It’ll keep you from falling asleep right there.”

“Fine. Lemme sit.” I huff.

“Why do you need to sit if we want to bandage your arms?” Harry questions.

“I’m tired.” I respond, blinking.

“Oh.”

Liam and Louis help me sit, making me use the counter as support. After ensuring I was in a comfortable position, the three boys sit cross-legged around me, making sure I wouldn’t lose balance and fall on the side. As soon as they’re ready, I sigh and do my best to explain what needed to be done, trying to remember what I’d learned in First Aid courses.

It took about 15 minutes, but we managed to finish before Niall came back up with some food. That which he didn’t, which was getting me worried.

“Where’s Niall?” I question carefully, turning to Harry. He shrugs.

“I’ll text him.” Liam offers. He pulls out his phone and types a quick message. He’s responded almost immediately. “Niall is in the movie room, waiting for all of us to join him. He’s got Ben and Jerry’s.”

“Let’s go then!” Louis exclaims happily. I’m about to attempt to stand with the others, but Zayn lays a hand on my thigh, forcing me to say sitting.

“Soph and I are gonna join you later yeah? We need to talk.” Zayn responds, pulling his hand away. I frown.

“Don’t be too long! The ice cream’s gonna melt!” Louis warns.

“Ha-ha don’t worry Lou.” Zayn answers.

“Good.”

Liam, Louis and Harry leave, but Harry stops in the doorframe.

“Zayn....?” Harry enquires the older boy, trying to decipher what he wanted with me. “You guys won’t...”

“I swear I’m only gonna talk to her.” The darker boy responds solemnly.

Harry nods, sends me a soft look, and follows Louis and Liam.

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