Wanting What's Wrong

Two years have passed since Sophie Miller escaped. Two years since she was One DIrections private possession. Trying to get her life back to normal, Sophie heads to Mullingar. The boys of One Direction find her and drag her back into their messed up lives. Feelings start showing here and there, making Sophie confused. Is it really okay to start having feelings towards your kidnappers? Afterall, there is a very thin line between love and hate...


36. Sexy Imagination

That’s exactly how Louis finds us a couple minutes later: entangled in each other’s arms.

“Good to see you’re okay mate,” Louis says, eyeing the both of us. “So hospitals hmm? Kinky.” He adds casually.

“Ugh no Louis.” I groan once I understand what he means. “He’s hurt; I’m hurt, which means no sex.” I tell the older boy, getting off Niall’s chest. The latter groans a little in protest.

“Hey where’s Harry?” I enquire.

“Hey where’s Perry?” Louis mocks, chuckling. Seeing as he was the only one laughing, he sighs. “One at a time remember?”

“Oh, right. So I’ll leave you two alone?”

“Yeah don’t worry I won’t sexually harass him, were not homos. Not that there’s something wrong with them because there isn’t but―”

“You won’t be sexually assaulting anybody Lou,” I silence his rambling.

“Hmm. Don’t be so certain love.” He smirks, sending a flirty smile my way. I roll my eyes, heading for the door.

“You’ll come back though Soph?” Niall calls. I turn around to face him as he’s sitting up slowly on his bed. “You won’t leave me alone with this bozo forever?” The Irish lad continues, eyes pleading.

“Hey the bozo is right beside you mate,” Louis punches Niall’s arm playfully.

“Ouch,” Niall whines.

“Ah right sorry mate I forgot― hey!” Louis protests as Niall smiles and hits him back. They start play fighting; Niall’s eyes are shining with pleasure, making me smile. It suddenly drops as his heart rate starts accelerating.

“Hey Lou, the doctor told you right?” I enquire, worried of leaving the two alone. I did not want to see an emotionally broken Niall.

“Yeah Soph.” The older boy shrugs, ruffling the blonde’s hair. I turn to leave once more but Niall causes me to stop into my tracks again.

“Soph you didn’t answer my question? You’ll come back to me?” His voice tinted with worry.

“Niall, I promise I’ll come back after everybody has had their turn to talk, play fight or whatever with you.” I nod, before leaving the room. I sigh outside the door, before walking back to the waiting room. This is just too much to take. The three boys practically jump on me when I arrive.

“How is he?”

“He’s perfectly fine Liam.” I say, trying my best to keep a straight face. “Really he’s fine. He’ll be okay. It could’ve been worse.” I tell them. Who am I trying to convince? Them or me?

“But the doctor said his emotions were messed up. Sophie, is he really okay?” Liam urges.

I nod, face grave, before collapsing on a chair, tearing up.

“No Liam... No he’s not.” I utter. Gosh I’m such a mess. Why am I so emotional?

“Hey Soph... Shhh.” Harry comes over to me, rubbing my back affectionately. He lifts me up and places me on his lap, before cradling me in his arms. “Soph it can’t be that bad...” he coos.

“But it is! Harry his mood swings are awful! It’s like he’s suddenly so different! He’s not the carefree and composed Niall anymore! His emotions change so rapidly, it’s scary! He deliberately said I was selfish because apparently I only care about my feelings and not his! But that’s not true! I know I’m selfish, but I don’t like to hear it! It stings! The normal Niall would’ve kept it to himself! Or at least not have told me so harshly! ” I ramble sadly, crying into Harry’s shirt. He kisses the top of my head.

“You’re not selfish,” he mumbles in my hair. “You’re just thinking about yourself... a lot...”

“How’s that not selfish Harry?”

“Sophie it’s perfectly fine... And it’s good for you. See, you’re a much happier person. I’m sure Niall understands that lots of things are going through your mind at once...”

“And lots are going through his also and he can’t control what’s going out of his mouth!”

“Sophie the doctor said that’d it’ll probably lessen over time, and then eventually disappear completely.” Zayn says, attempting to calm my crying.

“But what if it doesn’t?” I look up at the darker boy, eyes filled with tears. “What if his emotions never become normal again?”

“Surely the doctor will have some medication for him. Like mood stabilizers or something.” Liam tries reassuring me. “Like the stuff they give to people with bi-polar disorders.” The brown-haired boy continues thoughtfully.

“I really hope they do find something for him Liam... It would kill me to see him unsteady and insecure every day.” I shut my eyes shuddering. I wipe my tears, before resting my head on Harry’s shoulder.

Liam takes a seat beside Harry and I, while Zayn leans against a wall, checking out his phone again.

“But good news is, Niall didn’t try to kill himself.” I add, after a couple minutes of eerie silence.

“He didn’t deliberately walk in front of the car?” Zayn questions, his brow cocking up in curiosity.

I shake my head.

“It was an accident. I guess he just wasn’t paying attention to his surroundings.” I shrug my shoulders. “When exactly did we come at the point where we ponder the possibility of Niall trying to kill himself?” I mutter to myself.

“When he started cutting.” Zayn replies easily. “For all we know, you could’ve had suicidal thoughts too,” He points out.

Harry very noticeably stiffens under me. I stay silent.

Louis comes in a few minutes later, smiling broadly.

“Hey guess what? I have some great news! But I won’t tell you! You have to guess!” he exclaims childishly.

“I don’t want to guess, because I feel we’re gonna know anyways.” I answer morosely.

“Hey stop being so down Soph. You’re ruining my good mood.” Louis scolds. “No what I wanted to say was that I just bumped into the doctor.”

“And?” Harry presses.

“Well he said I looked healthy.” He announces proudly. We all groan simultaneously.

“Really Lou? That’s what you wanted to tell us?” Liam huffs.

“You should be happy to know I am healthy.”

“Louis did you have something more relevant to tell us?” Zayn exhales.

“Well I also want to tell you guys I have a big dick.” The older boy adds casually.

“Seriously? Louis why can’t you say something useful when we want it?” Zayn starts losing patience, and so does the rest of us.

“Fine. You guys are no fun. No what the doctor said is that he remarked that when Niall is in contact with different people, it helps him maintain his emotions more easily. It makes him more conscious and he’s better at maintaining his moods.”

“Does that mean we can go more than one at a time?”

“Yeah. Three’s max though for now.”

“Soph do you wanna go with Zayn and Liam?” Harry proposes.

“No Harry. You go. I went already.” I refuse, getting off him. He stands up.

“You sure?” The curly-haired boy asks.

“Positive.” I nod, sitting back down in the now empty seat. As soon as Harry’s out of sight, Louis approaches me.

“So Sophie... We’re alone and I thought maybe―”

“Louis.” I shut my eyes, rubbing my temples. “Please. No sex talk whatsoever.”

“I am offended Sophie.” Louis mocks hurt, placing a hand on his heart.  “I only wanted to hug. You are so dirty minded.” He reprimands, taking a seat next to me.

“I’m dirty minded? Look who’s talking. I’m not the one who thought about sex in the hospital, and I certainly am not the one who flaunted about my dick size.”

“I’m not dirty minded either. It’s called having a sexy imagination. And by the way, love, I know this will probably shock you... but you can’t flaunt about your dick size anyways because you don’t have a dick.” Louis says very seriously. What?

“Thank you Louis! I would’ve never known without your revelation! I’ll now see myself differently in a mirror!” I say sarcastically. “You’ve basically changed my life! Oh my gosh I was positive I had a dick!” I roll my eyes. I faintly notice I attracted some attention from people around but I ignore it. “Seriously Louis. You just answered one of my biggest questions on life.”

“Well I’m glad I elucidated one of the unresolved problems going in that pretty little head of yours.” Louis counters, smiling proudly. I roll my eyes again, before breaking up into a laugh.

“This is utterly ridiculous,” I giggle, clutching my stomach.

Louis starts chuckling too and pretty soon, we’re a laughing mess on the floor. Once we calmed down, we started small chat, saying random things to each other, some who made more sense than others. We ended up arguing over soccer aka football for him, and it made me think of Kyle, who was the soccer team’s captain and then one though led to another and I thought about the double date with him and Em. And then I thought of Louis.

“Hey Louis?” I ask after a couple seconds of thinking.


“Wanna go on a double date with me?”

“Whoa. What?”

“You know my friend Emily?” he nods and I continue, “Well she invited me on a double date this weekend and―”

“I can’t Soph.” The older boy shakes his head negatively.

“Why Lou?”

“Harry’d kill me.”

I gasp. “What? Louis come on he’s your best friend...”

“Exactly. I can’t go on a date with my best friend’s girl.”

“I’m not his girl.” I deny. Louis makes a face, shaking his head slightly. “What if we go as friends?”

“He’d misinterpret it Soph.”

“Louis, Harry won’t care if I go on a date with someone other than him....” I try.

“Yes, he’ll care if it’s someone other than Niall.” The older boy says, before rapidly pursing his lips, clearly regretting what he just said. “Never mind what I just said.”

“Why Niall...?” I enquire.

“Because.” He shuts me off.

“Would you care to be more elaborate....?” I press. He shakes his head. “Louis...” I beg. “Please.”

“Soph, Harry tells me everything. And I really do mean everything.” Louis sighs, passing his hand in his hair. “You would only be able to go on a date with him or Niall.  ”

“But why Niall?” I urge. He completely avoided my question.

“Harry knows Niall wouldn’t be able to live without you, that’s why he’d be the only exception.” The blue-eyed boy explains.

“I know that.... He also told me I needed to love Niall.” I admit.

“When did― Wait what? You aren’t supposed to know he wants you to be with Niall.... Wait this is all wrong. He didn’t want to tell you. When did he tell you?” Louis blabbers, his fingers digging into his hair worriedly as his blue orbs pierce through mine.

“Louis, you basically just told me Niall would be the only exception for a date.” I say carefully.

“As friends. I never told you that he needed you, wanted you, to love Niall. Where did you get that from?”

“Two days ago I think. At this hospital.” I motion around us. “Harry thought I was sleeping and cowardly spilled everything, before leaving me all alone at the hospital.” I continue, voice bitterly.

“Does he know you heard him?”

“What if he heard me? What if he didn’t? Who cares? I’m the one involved here. ” I burst.

“Sophie just answer the damn question,” Louis responds dryly.


“You should tell him Sophie. Before he finds out by others means than you.” He advises.

“Only you and I know I heard him... Louis you wouldn’t tell him?” I frown. He looks away. “Louis he did leave me alone in the hospital after all. I’m just being fair.”

“This isn’t about being fair Sophie,” his voice is dead serious, no amusement present in his usually joyful eyes. “Harry has the right to know. If you don’t tell him, I will.”

“What difference will it make, whether it’s me or you that tells him?” I huff, lifting my arms up in the air in exasperation.

“I honestly think he’ll react better if you were the one who told him. If I tell him, he’ll end up angry after you, because you kept it from him and weren’t planning on telling him anytime soon. If you tell him, chances are that he might be shy, even embarrassed, but a little pissed you waited two days to tell him.”

“Either way, he’ll end up angry after me! I like the relation we have now... it’s healthy and painless compared to what I had two years ago, or even a month ago!”

“Painless for you. I think Harry is in emotional pain. Niall also. But you clearly aren’t as you keep them both on the edge, keeping them in the darkness about your feelings towards them. See what happens when emotions get in the way? People get hurt. Maybe it’s a good thing Niall’s are messed up.”

Guilt assaults me powerfully, and I feel like I’ve been punched in the face.

“Don’t say that! It hurts me also! I don’t know how to act, as I don’t wanna hurt any of them! But that’s not even the point right now!” I fume. Sighing, I calm down, rubbing my temple with my good hand. I try my best to ignore what he just said. “The point is, Harry doesn’t have to know! Louis can’t you just shut your eyes on this?” I plea, looking up at him.

“Sorry.” He shakes his head. “I’m giving you until this weekend to tell him yourself, or I’ll do it and let you deal Harry's anger.”

I sigh, slumping in the chair.“He won’t be that angry, right?” I groan.

“No. He’ll be hurt and confused, and it may turn into lust if you’re not able to tell him the right way.”

“Louis don’t tell him.”

“Will you then?” he enquires.

“I don’t know.” I whimper.

“Like I said, you have until weekend to think about it.” Louis ends the conversation and stands up, before leaving

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