Wanting What's Wrong

Two years have passed since Sophie Miller escaped. Two years since she was One DIrections private possession. Trying to get her life back to normal, Sophie heads to Mullingar. The boys of One Direction find her and drag her back into their messed up lives. Feelings start showing here and there, making Sophie confused. Is it really okay to start having feelings towards your kidnappers? Afterall, there is a very thin line between love and hate...


47. Memory Lane

I turn around, only to be harshly pushed into the counter, lips locking with mine. I push the body away from mine, and my eyes meet Liam’s angry ones.

“Liam what the hell! Fuck―”

“Shut up!” He presses his body against mine once more, one his hands placing itself on my mouth. “This is all your fault! Everything is always your fucking fault!” he hits the wall beside my head with his other hand.

My mind is going into overdrive. If Liam is back, then Harry must be too, no? Please God Harry help me! Somebody help me! I kick the wall behind me, trying to attract some kind of attention from someone in the house.

“Harry! Za―”

Apparently Liam is having none of that as he pushes his body violently against mine, restricting any movement from my hips and below as his hand moves from my mouth to around my throat.

“Liam.” I try prying his fingers off of my throat but my broken wrist isn’t very helpful. “Li...am. Please.” I try again, tears stinging my eyes. Why is he like this!?

“I said shut up!” His fingers dig deeper into my flesh. It’s only then I realise he’s crying. “Danielle broke up with me because of you! Because you couldn’t keep your whore mouth shut!” The British boy continues. “I should’ve never let you meet her! That way she wouldn’t have known you were saying the truth when she read that God damn magazine!”

“I never told her anything!” I gasp out.

“Think again sweet cheeks.” He seethes, cutting off my air supply once more.

Then it hits me. It wasn’t too long ago in fact. It was when Liam picked me up from the hospital after I had got my cast. We had picked Danielle up, and I had accidentally blurted out everything.




“Hey!” She smiles, exposing rows of pearly white teeth. “I’m Danielle.”

“I’m Sophie Miller, I’m eighteen and I’ve been sold to One Direction when I was sixteen,” I reply, smiling also. My smile drops almost immediately. Aww shit. I did not just say that.

From the front seat, Liam very visibly stiffens, shooting me a dark look in the rear-view mirror. Danielle frowns, not understanding. Well this is awkward.

“I mean sold as in they were so charming I didn’t want to spend a day away from them. My mom couldn’t take care of me and they just agreed to take me with them.” I correct rapidly. “Wow. Yeah that sounded better in my head.” I laugh nervously.

“You’re adorbs. I like you already.” Danielle gushes, giggling.

Liam also starts laughing as he starts the car, but it’s more forced and worried.


[End of Flashback]


I’m shocked, recalling the event. She must’ve put the pieces together when she read the magazine, and probably broke up with Liam on the phone and that’s one of the worst possible break-up methods...No wonder the Wolverhampton boy is so broken. His must’ve sadness turned into anger on his way here. Jeese Niall was right about Liam taking it out on me if ever he and Danielle broke-up...

“Do you remember now?” The brown-eyed boy mocks, noticing my comprehension. “Do you?!” He demands, his hand choking me even more.

“Li...” I beg, little black dots dancing in front of me. I’m about to faint from the lack of oxygen. Or maybe Liam’ll kill me?

“So now that I don’t have somebody to keep me steady... I’ll just use you.” He breathes into my ear menacingly, his free hand groping my chest.

“Liam!” Zayn suddenly appears in the kitchen’s doorframe. “Let her go she can’t breathe!” He commands, shooting me a worried glance.

The younger boy loosens his grip slightly, allowing a little more air to circulate through my lungs.

“Zayn it’s her fault! It’s her fault our career is going to go down. Zayn I worked so hard for everything to work!” Liam says angrily, tears streaming down his face. “Niall going to the hospital is her fault too! If he hadn’t been for that walk on the road to think, he wouldn’t have been hit by the stupid car! The band wouldn’t be falling apart either! Everything is her fucking fault!”

He’s so right.

“Liam, calm down and let her go. Completely.” Zayn orders steadily, approaching us at a careful pace. “Liam, now.”

Liam finally lets go of my throat, but keeps my body trapped between his and the wall, his breathing shallow. I watch with my eyes half-shut as Zayn walks over to stand between Liam and I, prying him away from me.

I drop to the floor wheezing, taking big gulps of air as I try to regulate my breathing. I look up for mere seconds to see Zayn talking to Liam in a hushed whisper. He hugs the younger boy, giving him affectionate pats on the back. Liam’s angry and pain-filled gaze meets mine from Zayn’s shoulder.

Shivering, I shut my eyes, focusing on breathing in and out. If Liam’s home, where’s Harry? I need a hug right now. I need someone to tell me everything will be alright, even though it isn’t. Maybe I should go up and ask Niall for affection? No that’d be selfish. But he doesn’t even know I’ve chosen Har―

“Are you alright?”

I open my eyes and my heart jumps in my chest at Zayn’s close proximity. Zayn’s face is mere inches from mine. Taking a quick look around, I notice Liam’s absence.

“Where’s Liam?”

“I’ll sort him out in a few. He’s just very upset and doesn’t quite know how to react...I wouldn’t be surprised to find him apologizing to you in an hour or so.” Zayn explains carefully. “But are you alright?” The dark boy repeats his question.

I nod weakly, trying to stand back up. “I gotta finish the salad.”

“Don’t bother babe. I’ll finish that okay?” The Bradford boy reassures, keeping me sat on the floor. “You focus on breathing. You were on the verge of passing out there.” He continues, before heading over to the counter to finish making the salad.

I watch him silently as he moves around, gathering the different ingredients and placing them in the bowl. My thoughts start drifting, replaying today. A magazine went out about me and the boys, and it could ruin their career. Liam harassed me violently because he and Danielle broke-up so yesterday, Niall’s theory was right. I found out I was in love with Harry. Zayn is trying his best to hold everyone together. Louis is now single and we have a double date this week-end. I have to iron poor Niall’s heart with my feelings for Harry. Where is he anyways...?

After a couple minutes of silent pondering, I ask Zayn.

“Do you know where Harry is?” I question quietly, resting my head on the wall behind me.

“Well he―”

“I’m right here.”

My head snaps up to the kitchen’s entrance, only to find a smirking Harry leaning on the doorframe with his arms crossed on his chest.

“Missed me sweet cheeks?”

Okay it’s not because I know I love him, that I have to act all mushy and gushy about it. I don’t want him to know right now. It’ll have to wait until.... Until our day together. And then afterwards, I’ll tell Niall.

“Love are you alright? Why are you sitting on the floor?” The curly-haired boy frowns, approaching me. He shoots Zayn an inquisitive look.

“Well she―”

“I was hot and the floor was cold so I decided to sit on it.” I shrug, cutting Zayn off. I do not want Harry to know about what Liam did to me. There’s enough tension in the band, let’s not add to it.

“Are you cold enough now? Because the food’s ready and you can take a seat here,” Zayn motions the little island, “And eat on an actual table.”

“Yeah okay.” I acknowledge, standing up and taking a seat.

“Mate did you make enough food for three? I’d love to join.” Harry puts in, sitting beside me.

“Yeah in fact I made enough for everyone I think, as we are probably to have a discussion about that damn magazine and what’s going to happen and all... Harry do you wanna go get the others? Sophie’ll help me bring the food to the dining room and we’ll join you there. It’ll be less crowded over there than in the kitchen.”

He huffs.

“Sure whatever... as long as I don’t find you two snogging when I get back.” He says smiling, but the warning is clear in his voice. I’m his.

“Ugh no I’m with Perrie.” Zayn grimaces. “No offense Sophie.” He adds quickly.

“None taken. And Harry stop being so possessive, please? I thought we talked about this this morning.”

“I prefer the term protective. And you can’t blame me for acting protective, when a magazine pictured you in such a vulgar way.” Harry shrugs, “Save me a seat beside you yeah?” He ends, leaving before I could protest some more.

I sigh loudly in exasperation.

“He’s right though... I’d probably act the same way if it was Perrie we were talking about.” Zayn agrees, picking bowls and utensils from cupboards. “C’mon let’s bring this stuff to the dining room.” He continues, walking out the kitchen.

“Talking about Perrie... You said I’d be able to meet her.” I reproach him loudly, picking up the big bowl of pasta salad before following him out the kitchen.

“I know and you should soon... I’ll figure something out.” Zayn nods, placing the utensils at their respective places on the big table as well as the bowls. I hand him the big salad one and he puts it in the middle. “Liam didn’t do anything to you, right?” Zayn enquires.

“Apart from strangling me and groping my chest, no.” I mutter.

“I am so sorry I left you alone Sophie.” Zayn apologizes, coming over to hug me. His arms wrap around me, and a feeling of warmth and comfort spreads through my limbs. Wow that feels good.

He pulls back after a few seconds. “You looked like you needed one.”

“Thank... I really did.” I smile, already missing the feeling of being held in somebody’s arms.

 “When you do meet Perrie though, don’t tell her I did that yeah? Might make her jealous.” He winks.

“Don’t worry I won’t tell her. It’s not like I’ll meet her.” I mock.

“You will. I promise. And again, I am so sorry for letting Liam harm you.”

“It’s alright Zayn. You had to go see if Niall was okay either way... Is he?”

“Well he was hurt to wake up alone in his bed,” He pauses briefly, shooting me a reprimanding look.

“Harry forced me out,” I counter defensively.

“But anyways his ribs hurt a lot apparently, that’s why he’ll stay in bed a lot for the next couple of weeks. And he was downright pissed about the magazine. He actually punched a hole in his wall.”

“He punched a hole? In his wall? Jeese he didn’t break his fingers I hope?” I frown.

“No... They were only scratched. This reminds me of two things. First of all, you need to convince him to take his medication. He doesn’t wanna take it and see, he punched a wall out of anger... The magazine’s publishers were lucky it wasn’t their faces and honestly it scares me how quickly his mood changed. And the other, well I went upstairs initially to go fetch something I made you.”

“You made me something?”

“Yeah I left it in the kitchen when I saw Liam assaulting you...” he pauses uncomfortably. “I made it the day we spent together.”

I look at him sceptically.

He huffs, dragging me back to the kitchen.

“Remember the day after your first shot of the arousal drugs? I kinda of woke you before you uh... you know...”

“Before I what?” I enquire, grinning. Oh my God he doesn’t want to say it? That’s hilarious!

“Ugh don’t make me say it. Please.” Zayn begs, leaning on the counter.

“But please do. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I tease.

“I can’t believe it... Oh my God orgasm alright?”

“Full sentence?”

“When I woke you up before you could orgasm.” He drops finally, very visibly shuddering. “That morning where I woke you up before you could orgasm from a very erotic dream that from the sounds of it, was me about to fuck you.”

I start laughing.

“You knew what I was taking abut weren’t you?” The darker boy groans.

“Yup.” I giggle. “I just found it hilarious seeing you squirm over a word.”

“Well anyways, do you recall after? I was alone at the house with you and we decided to draw, and I didn’t want to show you what I drew?”




“Here ya go.” I show him once I’m finished.

“See, I knew you could draw better than a stick figure. You actually draw really cute cartoons you know?” He compliments.

“Okay okay but can we go visit the house now that I’m done drawing?” I beg with puppy dog eyes.

“No... Because I’m not done... ” He frowns, biting his lip as he continues his drawing. “Put a little colour on your sketch.” He advises, keeping his eyes on his sheet as he pushed the box of coloured crayons and pastels in my direction.

Once I finished Zayn’s cartoon representation, I started making some of every boy, occasionally stopping to look over at Fate and the ducklings. Zayn though, was clearly still working on his initial one. And he didn’t want me to look at it, covering it with his arm the whole time.

“You hungry?” He asks after hearing my stomach grumble. He looks up from his drawing for mere seconds, waiting for my answer.

“No. My stomach is just letting you know it’s angry.” I reply sarcastically, placing the pencil on the table.

“Fine then I won’t get any food.” He shrugs, a smile on the corner of his lips. His brows are knit in concentration as he continues drawing lines.

I stare at him for a couple seconds, waiting to see if he’s joking or not.

“Okay yeah I’m hungry.” I give in.

“What do you want to eat? Name something... We have almost every food item possible.”

“Surprise me. Oh no don’t in fact.” I recall the shower incident, where he totally took advantage of me. “Pasta would be nice.” I answer after a moment of thought.

“Pasta it is then... ” He heads inside. “Can I trust you again?” he questions just as he’s about to shut the sliding door. “You won’t get lost or look at the drawing?”

“I promise I won’t. I’m staying with Fate.” I sigh, standing up also. “I’ll probably be under a tree when you come back.” He smiles and vanishes inside, shutting the door behind him. My chair scrapes along the wooden patio as I leave the table, and remove my socks before joining Fate near the pond. She was observing the fish with interest, her paw occasionally slashing the water.

“Hey Furball,” I coo, picking her up. She mewls in protest, and I place her back on the ground grudgingly.

“Hey you... You’re supposed to be on my side.” I scold her. She looks up at me with her big blue eyes. “Nah it’s okay.” I reassure her. I start walking to the tree near the gate and hedges that separated the house from the open field, and notice she’s following me. I guess she just didn’t wanna be carried then.

I walk under the tree and sit so I’m leaning on the tree’s bark. Fate pounces on me. I giggle as she starts placing herself so she can be comfortable on my thighs, her little claws tickling me.

Karma and the other ducklings, suddenly pull out of the water, quacking noisily as they waddled to join us in curiosity. Fate reflexively takes a defensive pose on me, and I laugh some more, caressing her back.

“Hey calm down... They’re friends.” I mumble, scratching her behind her ear.

The six ducklings assembled around us, pecking here and there in inquisitiveness. I lift my hand up to hold Fate still, but they all quack nervously, before shuffling back to the water. Except Karma.

 I cock my eyebrow up as the little duck gets up on my legs, and gets closer to Fate, before practically hiding under her paws. My cat pushes him away in annoyance, but Karma comes back again, this time huddling under my hand that was on the ground. I cup my hand and lift him up, so he’s on my stomach.

“You’re a special one aren’t you?” I mumble, looking at the feathery creature in wonder. “Fate...” I warn as she approaches to toss him away again.  She doesn’t look up at me and keeps gazing at Karma. To my surprise, she goes and licks his head. Karma then jumps off my hand, and places himself in between her paws once more. She doesn’t move the little guy.

“Friends already huh? Well that escalated quickly,” I chuckle as Karma start peeping happily.  I pet Fate lovingly, and Karma starts complaining, chirping in envy. I grin and give him the same affectionate treatment.

Zayn appears a few minutes later, two bowls in hand as he walks to join our little trio.


[End of Flashback]



“Oh yeah I remember that. You left afterwards to make your weird salad and I ended up playing with my duckling and Fate in the backyard.”

“Yes that’s precisely it. And again, the salad isn’t weird, it’s unique. But back on the subject, I finally finished the sketch, and I’m giving it to you.” Zayn says, pulling out from God knows where, a large sheet of paper. On the verso of it, there’s a sketch. Of me, with angel wings. And it’s absolutely gorgeous. But what’s even prettier, is the back ground on which he drew me on... It was made of little images of what happened since the last two years, from his point of view. From them buying me from my mom, to that walk alone in the streets of London when he felt guilty he had raped me, to him meeting Perrie and talking to her about me, to the many nights he actually cried thinking of what he did to me, to the denial he had against Harry’s new idea, to the relief of my almost complete forgiveness, to him preventing me from harming myself.

“Why now?” I murmur, looking with lots of appreciation at the drawing. “Why did you wait for so long?” I’m on the brim of tears, his piece of art touching me deeply.

“Well,” he scratches the back of his neck nervously. “First of all, I wanted to fill the paper. And I wanted the last drawing to be my biggest success. And it happened today, when I stopped you from self-harming. I finished it up before I went to see Niall actually.”

“Thank you Zayn. So much.” I say placing the drawing on the counter before hugging the living daylights out of him. “I don’t know what I’d do without a friend like you to support me, make me smile and that kind of stuff. Thank you so much.” I cry into his shoulder. He hugs me back.

“It’s nothing really... I owed you this much.”

“Hey ya wankers you coming to eat?!” Louis yells from the room next to us.

I laugh, and let Zayn breathe a bit, wiping my tears for the tenth time today.

“Let’s go, before there’s no food left,” Zayn chuckles, taking my hand. He lets go of it as soon as we enter the dining room, and I take place on the only empty seat, between Niall and Harry.

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