Wanting What's Wrong

Two years have passed since Sophie Miller escaped. Two years since she was One DIrections private possession. Trying to get her life back to normal, Sophie heads to Mullingar. The boys of One Direction find her and drag her back into their messed up lives. Feelings start showing here and there, making Sophie confused. Is it really okay to start having feelings towards your kidnappers? Afterall, there is a very thin line between love and hate...


34. Masks

The next day at school, the pink of my cast is almost invisible due to all of Louis’s many insignificant doodles. And his name written in gigantic font. But it feels good to be back. Back with normal people. Back to the routine.

School is like I never left. Except for the stares and questioning looks I got while I walked down the hallway. They made me remember that I did leave for a long time, and that I came back with a broken member. Must be weird and unusual.

I’m about to head to my locker see if Emily is there, but a group of girls in designer clothes catch my eye. A group of girls I know, even though sometimes I wish I didn’t. A group of girls that isn’t supposed to be here, according to Niall. I gasp. Shit. Why is J RAGE here?

“This is not good,” I mumble. “Really not good.” I start walking towards them, but a hand on my shoulder stops me.

“Soph?! Is that you? Sophie oh my God!” What sounds like Emily jumps on me from behind, startling me as well as half the hallway. “Sophie oh my gosh I’m so happy to see you!” She hugs me tightly. Yep, definitely Emily.

“Nice to see you again Em!” I smile. I look behind my shoulder. J RAGE is gone. Shit.

“It feels so good to have you in my arms right now Soph... You have no idea how much I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too Em.” I respond. I inhale in her shoulder, appreciating the warmth and contact.

“Soph you were gone way too long...” She mumbles, squeezing me tighter as if I was gonna leave.

“Em, I can’t breathe.” I utter after a couple seconds, pulling away slowly. We were in the hallway, getting stares here and there and I was starting to feel awkward.

“Where were you? If Harry didn’t keep sending me pictures and videos of you being just fine, I would’ve called the cops!” The brown-eyed girl exclaims shamelessly. Okay even more awkward.

“Shhh don’t talk too loud.” I quiet, taking her to the nearest washroom. Hopefully, it was empty. I frown, mentally replaying what she just told me. “Wait what? Harry sent pictures and videos of me, to you? When did you two even exchange numbers?”

“He got mine through your phone I think.” Well Harry. Aren’t you just full of surprises?

“But he sent you pictures of me?”

“Yeah... Weird I know. Most of the time, they were pictures of you sleeping.”

“How did you know I wasn’t dead? I could’ve looked dead when I slept no?”

“Well like I said earlier, he sent videos too. You were clearly breathing and moving in your sleep. But,” She pauses, looking at me up and down. “That bastard never told me you had a cast. For fuck’s sake Soph what happened to your arm?” Emily continues a little angrily, motioning my black and pink cast. “Did he have any relation to―?”

“No Em. This time, it’s my fault. I fell off a tree because I was stubborn and I didn’t ask for Niall’s help.”

“And why didn’t you ask for his help? Wait no. Why would you fall off a tree?” She corrects, hands on her hips.

“Yesterday, Niall and I took a walk in the woods and there was this giant, dead tree trunk that was in the path and it was slippery because my clothes were all wet.” I pause. “And―”

“Wait your clo―?”

“My clothes were wet because we went swimming earlier,” I answer before she even asks the question. I need to be fast and stop Jade and her friends from telling somebody and sending Niall to jail for rape. “And I refused his help because he did something dreadful.” I add.

“What did he do?” She gasps.

“He says he raped J RAGE?” It sounds like a question as it comes out of my mouth. “Jade and her friends. He raped them and menaced them not to come back to school or tell anybody about what happened.”

“Soph this doesn’t sound right.” My friend shakes her head. “Not from Niall anyways. Even Harry wouldn’t do that. None of them would. Surely if Niall did do it, he would’ve been more convincing with them as the girls are here in school today. We’re seeing them in Science in a couple minutes actually. ” She presses, checking her watch. Emily’s about to pull me out of the washroom, but I stand firmly on the ground.

“But Niall told me he did it! Why would he lie, especially telling me something that’d get me to dislike him?” I shut my eyes, pulling my hair with my good hand as I thought. “He told me he was high and couldn’t help―”

“There’s the flaw.”

“What?” I respond, incredulous.

“You just found the solution. Niall was high.”

It dawned on me. It was as if Emily had undone a complicated knot on a very simple package. “So you’re saying that―”

“Exactly. Niall hallucinated stuff. He was high on I don’t know what drugs. He probably imagined the whole scene in his head, and thought it was reality. Which it wasn’t.”

That would be such a relief for me. And him. He’d feel so much better if he knew he hadn’t done anything horrific. He’d be Niall. Sweet Niall. Not  rapist Niall. Just my little leprechaun with his slight problems.

“Or maybe something happened between him and the girls, but he misinterpreted it.” Emily trails on. Ugh no. Please no. He didn’t sleep with those girls now did he? Please God no.

“I need to go talk to them to find out.” I decide. We get out of the washroom just as the bell rings.

“We have five minutes to get to class.” Emily remarks.

“I know what that bell means Em. It’s not like I’ve been absent for a year or so,” I counter a little dryly.

“Gee sorry for saying something,” She mumbles as we head to our lockers.

“I’m sorry... Niall’s case is on my mind right now...” I apologize as we grab our books for Science. “And the boys have been weird lately... Not acting like themselves.”

“Or maybe not the selves you know? Maybe you just have them totally naked in front of you?”

“Em.” I warn, shutting my locker door as she does the same. We start heading to class.

“No silly I know you’ve seen them naked before.”

“Shhh... Emily.” I mutter. “Don’t remind me.” We were getting more awkward stares and it was making me uneasy.

“What I meant is, maybe you’re seeing them in their true nature. Maybe the mask that they had put on two years ago has fallen off completely this year.” She continues very seriously.

“Maybe.” I whisper, thoughtful as Emily and I take a seat in the back of the class. My gaze lingers longer than necessary on the group of five girls chatting excitedly as they checked their nails out. They surely didn’t look scared or terrified if they’ve been raped.... or maybe they too are wearing a mask?

I frown at the idea, shaking my head. Niall didn’t rape those girls. They aren’t pretending to be just fine.

The class starts.

“Hello class! So last week we talked about the different components of blood.” Miss Peterson starts, tossing her blonde hair off of her shoulder. “So today, we’ll be having a laboratory in teams of two or three. I’m passing out different blood samples and you have to identify the two different blood cells, plus the platelets, through a microscope. You have to draw your observations for each sample, I’m picking them up.” She concludes. People start shuffling in the class, searching for partners.

 The teacher being quite young and quite indifferent about taking during laboratories, I paired up with Emily to learn more about what had been going on with her and life while I was gone. And also because I didn’t feel like being with anyone else in the class right now.

“So how’s your love life going? If I remember correctly, last we talked about that, there was Kyle.”

“Yeah I haven’t talked to him much since that time he gave me a lift.” She sighs as she adjusts our microscope. “But that’s mostly because he’s always busy on the soccer field. You know, being the captain and all. He texts me now and then. Asking me on dates. But I was so stressed lately about you that I refused.”

“Well you should agree. I say, I go with you like a third wheel.”

“Or we could go on a double date.” She proposes.

“With who am I gonna go?”

Emily turns around to look at me as if I had suddenly grown a second head. “You have five boys who I’m sure would love to go. Pick one.” She answers just as the teacher comes around, handing us three blood samples. We automatically stop taking about the One Direction boys.

“Hey. Sophie Miller. You’re back.” The blue-eyed lady smiles, eyeing me up and down. “Is that a cast?”

“No, it’s a whale.” I retort sarcastically so only my friend can hear. Emily elbows me.

“Be polite. She’s trying to be friendly.” She counters, just as silently.

“Is your cast signed by your boyfriend? Was he the one that did this to you?” The woman enquires. Boy is she nosy... it’s as if she was a teenager like us.

“First, Miss Peterson, the boy who signed my cast, if you can even call it signing, this is not my boyfriend. He’s just a really good friend.” I correct. “And I did this to myself. I fell off a tree.” I add, motioning my cast.

“You poor thing. I really hope you get to use your arm soon again.” The blonde smiles, patting my shoulder consolingly.

Hullo. I’m not your friend. I grind my teeth, keeping the comment to myself.

“I think Emily will fill you in on what you’ve missed in Science. Won’t you Emily?”

“Yeah sure.” My friend shrugs. As soon as the teacher leaves, I exhale.

“Boy is she an intrusive teacher,” I grumble, my fingers tapping on the desk in annoyance. “There she was, trying to be my friend or something. Why would she suddenly care? Before my departure, I was the last fuck she gave. Well not exactly, but I was a normal student.”

“Can’t blame someone for caring.” Emily huffs.

“You think I shut people out.” It wasn’t a question. It was a fact.

“Yes. It’s like you can’t even think of the possibility that someone can actually care for your well being.” The brunette continues, peering into the microscope.

“That’s not true.” I stutter as she pulls back.

“Is it?”

“Em maybe I don’t realise it... But I’ve been alone for a lot of things in my life. And the boys have recently been acting human around me. You can’t blame me for blocking people out. You’re the only one who I’ve let in completely. Evidence is, I’m willing to get my ass kicked by the boys to come and talk to you, tell you where they live and all.”

“Where do they live after all?” My friend places her hands on her hips.

“I don’t know. They don’t have a map lying around written YOU ARE HERE with a little arrow and the roads around the house. Hell I haven’t even visited the whole manor yet. But here’s what I know: It’s a huge country house. They have a forest as well as a huge field and it’s about a 50 kilometer drive from here to there.” I list. “But don’t come. Not yet anyways.”

“Wasn’t planning to. You seem to like these boys. ”

“I do n―”

“Don’t lie... they treat you... Good?”

“I wouldn’t say that. But yeah they’ve been treating me better. And Niall managed to make me stop the cutting.” I add more quietly.

“So you haven’t cut? Not even scraped yourself purposefully or something?” Emily whispers back, surprised.


“I’m gonna kiss this boy when I see him. Gosh Soph I’m so proud of you.” She gives my shoulder an encouraging squeeze.

“But why? I had stopped before they caught me again...”

“Soph why are you lying to yourself? I could still see the scratches you made on your wrists here and there.” She shakes her head, looking into the microscope again before noting something on her sheet.

“You know me too well Em. I can’t hide anything from you. Right through me. As if I was transparent.” I sigh.

“That’s what best friend’s are for.”

The instant the bells rings, I tell Emily to go without me and I intercept the J RAGE girls in the hallway. Wow. Déjà-vu. Except the last time, it was practically the other way around and Harry saved me and the Ni― Sophie. Focus.

“What do you want?” Jade huffs, irritated.

“Jade I want an honest answer right now. From all of you in fact.” I pursue, looking at their five faces while hiding a grimace. Well if Niall didn’t harm them, their make-up surely was the one who raped their faces. I snigger to myself.

“You’re crazy right? You just giggled to yourself.” Gabrielle remarks.

“So that was the reason you were absent for so long?” Annaleigh adds catching on.

“You were in an insane asylum.” Rachel joins.

“And now you need us to confirm you’re not insane.” Elle ends. What the fuck is wrong with their minds?

“Sorry can’t help you then because unfortunately, you are mad.” Jade shrugs me off.

“No that’s not the point.” I shake my head angrily, pushing her back into the wall. “I need to know if you girls have been in contact with Niall Horan recently.” Please say no. Please say no. Please say n―

“Yes in fact. Why? Are you jealous? You don’t have enough with Harry drooling all over you?” Jade mocks.

“What happened when you were with him?” I question, restraining from slapping the bitch.

“It was about three of four days ago.” Rachel starts.

“The boy was in pretty bad shape.” Gabrielle admits. “And for an unknown reason, he came to us. And so we talked to him and stuff and he started blabbering nonsense about being mean and all. He passed out.”

“I let him sleep at mine that night; to make sure he wouldn’t drive and have an accident.” Jade tells. “And the next morning, he was gone.”

“That’s all?” I question, holding my breath. Niall had been confused. He didn’t do anything. He’s been an angel the whole time...And these girls didn’t’ do anything to him either? God this is a miracle.

“You can say thank you. You were lucky we didn’t take advantage to his unconscious body... I could’ve done some naughty things to him.” Jade sneers. “Next time though, he’ll be conscious and we’ll be having some real sexy time.” I strongly doubt that, but keep dreaming. It doesn’t hurt anybody.

“Thank you, for taking care of Niall.” I say truthfully, before leaving them. My heart fills with joy as I walk down the hallway, strong feelings stirring in my stomach. I can’t wait to tell Niall tonight. I can’t wait to tell him he’s innocent. I feel like shouting it on the roof tops. Niall is not a rapist. Niall is not guilty of anything.

It’s almost as if the hours on the clock are mocking me. The day passes horrendously slowly as my excitement to go home grows. When the last bell finally rings, I run to my locker. Emily joins me minutes later as I finish packing up.

“So you are gonna tell Niall he’s innocent, right?” She enquires.

“Of course.”

“And you’re gonna go on a double date with me and Kyle this weekend, right?”

“This weekend?”

“Yeah I confirmed it with him in Music class. So you’re coming, right?”

“Sure.” I huff. “I owe you that much. For being such a great friend and all. It’s my turn to be the great friend.”

“Good. I take it you’ll manage to call or text and tell me who you’re going with? Or just give me the answer tomorrow at school?”

“Yeah I’ll tell you tomorrow.” I agree. “Bye!” I hug her, before walking rapidly to the parking lot.

Louis had already arrived. And he had a scowl on his face. Uh-oh.

“Hey Louis... Everything okay?” I ask gently as I get in the passenger seat of his car.

 “I’ve been better.” He responds dryly, starting the engine. “So how was school?” The older-boy attempts to get the attention off him as we get on the road.

“School was great. Talked to Emily again. Felt good.” I shrug, not mentioning the Irish lad. Niall was gonna be the first one to know he was innocent. “You on the other hand, don’t look like your jolly self.” I note. I take a deep sigh, trying to contain my eagerness at the mental image I had of Niall learning about how he hadn’t done anything wrong.

“It’s Eleanor.” Louis huffs after a minute of silence. “She’s really cute and funny and all that, but she tries too hard to get to know more about me. And it appears she knows about you.”

“Wait. She knows you guys bought me, or she knows I’m living with you?”

“I’m not sure. But she knows you exist.” He exhales.

“And that’s bad?”

“Kinda. I’m just not ready to present you yet. I’m not at that stage, like Liam is with Danielle. And I know she wants to meet you. Like really bad.”

“Tell her that you’ll let her met me when you are ready. If she loves you enough, she’ll understand.”

“You sound like my mom teaching me about respecting my sexual partner’s limits.” Louis shakes his head, chuckling to himself.

We arrive at the manor a couple minutes later and I’m practically buzzing on my seat, wanting to see Niall so badly right now. The moment Louis stops the car; I hop outside and run inside the manor, and up to Niall’s room. Weirdly, I don’t bump into Harry or Liam on the way there.

“Niall guess what?!” I say excitedly, opening the Irish lad’s room door. He’s not there. My smile falters a little, but I head over to Zayn’ room to check for both boys. It’s also empty. “Niall?!” I’m responded by an eerie silence. I can almost hear my heart pumping from my running up the stairs. “Niall?” I yell again. “Harry? Liam? Zayn?” I can’t help the knot forming into my stomach. I feel like I’m going to vomit.

“Sophie?!” I hear Louis worried shout from downstairs. I run to meet him.

“What Lou? Where are the boys?” I start panicking seeing the mask of horror on Louis face as he reads a note placed on the table near the entrance. Why didn’t I see it?!

“Get back in the car. We’re going to the hospital. Niall tried to kill himself.” He says urgently. He shows me the note, written in a hurried handwriting.


Louis, get to the nearest hospital ASAP. Niall tried to kill himself. TTYL with more info. Be quick. He needs Sophie.



I can’t move, breath stuck in my throat.

“No...” I whisper. This is a nightmare. It’s all an illusion. It’s not true.

“Sophie! We have to go! Now!” Louis pulls me out of the house and into his car, wasting no time to start the engine. His eyes are getting wet with tears. Mine are too. I’m sure.

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