Wanting What's Wrong

Two years have passed since Sophie Miller escaped. Two years since she was One DIrections private possession. Trying to get her life back to normal, Sophie heads to Mullingar. The boys of One Direction find her and drag her back into their messed up lives. Feelings start showing here and there, making Sophie confused. Is it really okay to start having feelings towards your kidnappers? Afterall, there is a very thin line between love and hate...


31. Be Alright

Just like Louis had assumed, the wait at the hospital had been long. Although, thanks to Harry, I had had a private room in less than 15 minutes. Nurses had placed me on a bed and gave me a dose of morphine to help me cope with the pain. We waited another couple of hours before they could take my radiography and I discovered that I had fractured the top of my radius bone, that which explained why the pain was located more towards the wrist. I also learned I needed an operation, in order to have screws and plates placed in my arm. Ugh.

“Sweetheart, when was the last time you ate?”Asked one of the nurses once I was back in my room. Harry was seated on the chair beside me, Padgett on his lap.

“Towards noon I think...Maybe a little later. I had a picnic.” I recall, flinching slightly.

“Oohh. Was it nice? Was this young man the one who brought you on the picnic?” She asks knowingly, motioning Harry. Could she mind her own business?

“No. T’was somebody else.” I reply dryly, looking down. I’m shaking, my good fist clenched tightly. Niall.

“Okay then... Sorry it wasn’t of my concern anyways,” She sighs, before continuing. “Clearly you aren’t sure about the time when you ate and for an operation we need to be sure you haven’t eaten or drank for the period of six hours. It’s already five o’clock so we’ll have to operate you tomorrow morning because eleven o’clock is too late for this type of operation. So no eating after midnight.” She scribbles on her notepad. Five o’clock?

“I’ll have to sleep here?” I whine.

“Yes. I’m sorry. But at least you have company.” She nods towards Harry. “Some people suffer through much worse than a broken wrist and they have to live through it alone.” She shrugs. “And some people can’t have a private room either... Lemme tell you that having someone who has constipation beside you isn’t pleasant.” She ends. “Another nurse will come to check up on you every hour or so...No funny stuff please.” She adds before leaving.

“Couldn’t she be anymore sweet.” I mumble sarcastically, cradling my arm as I sit up on the hospital bed.

Harry chuckles beside me, stretching. Placing his head into his hands, he sighs before standing up, placing Padgett where he previously was.

“I’ll call the boys and let them know we’ll be home tomorrow.” He exhales, pulling out his phone. “Hey Liam? Yeah no were gonna sleep over there. Yeah I know it sucks.” Harry walks back in forth as he talks on his cell phone. “Hey did Niall know Sophie got hurt?”

My head spins to Harry’s direction and I bite my lip, trembling slightly. Our eye’s meet, before he turns around again grimacing. Soph don’t think about it. Taking a deep sigh, I shut my eyes, listening partly to what Harry was saying.

 “I don’t think he knows because he arrived before her therefore she was behind him... He doesn’t? Don’t tell him about it then. The guilt might kill him. He can’t live with himself already? Zayn is taking care of him right? Liam someone needs to keep an eye on him! Yeah I don’t think she’s coping well with it either... at the simple mention of him she starts shaking....Yes I know. And tell Louis I’m sorry for not being able to play with him tonight, yeah? Ok good.”

“Tell him to feed Fate yeah?” I tell Harry.

“Soph wants me to let you know you need to feed Fate. Thanks mate. See ya.” He hangs up and looks around. “This is gonna be a horrid night... I loathe hospitals.” He groans.

“Join the club. At least you’re not the one getting a surgery whatsoever and a cast for I don’t know how many weeks.”

Harry looks around furtively, before sitting cross-legged in front of me, at the foot of my bed. “I don’t know if this is allowed but,” He shrugs. “So how exactly did you break your wrist?” He enquires. “Or rather can you fill me in on your whole day?”

“It’s a long story with a horrible ending.” I brush him off.

“We have nothing else to do Sophie.” He raises his eyebrows.

“Well to make a long story short this morning I wanted to go to school to get some kind of verification that I was alive and I could get some people to actually talk to me for longer than a minute. I wanted to talk to Emily. But Niall prevented me from going to school under the pretext that you guys only had one car. So I complained I needed to get out of the house.” My breathing starts getting shaky as I continue. “Then he invited me on this journey in the woods where we had a picnic and then he took me to a bay with a cute waterfall and then well we kissed and he said he loved me but then he went all fidgety and defensive and he admitted he had taken drugs and raped a bunch of girls because they’d been mean to me behind my back.” My respiration is ragged and uncontrolled as I finish, tears stinging my eyes. My heart beats faster at the thought of him and what he’d done. “Why Niall... Why?” I sob, hugging my knees, momentarily forgetting about my wounded wrist. “Oww!” I bawl as I nudge my fractured bone, crying harder. “Why, why, why?!”

“Hey love.... shhh... ” Harry comes beside me, hugging me to him. “Hey everything’s gonna be fine... There’s surely a logical explanation to this...” He mumbles in my hair. “Shhh...I’m pretty sure everything will be alright.”

I curl on myself as he cradles me into his arms gently, lifting me so I’m resting in-between his legs. I hold my arm to my stomach, whinging a little.

 “I’m certain everything will be alright...” He repeats, placing his chin on the top of my head. Harry randomly starts humming a song, his soft voice soothing me as he lulls me back and forth in his arms. I shut my eyes and let out a shaky sigh, calming my pulse.

Through the storm and, through the clouds
Bumps on the road and upside down now
I know it's hard baby, to sleep at night
Don't you worry

Cause Everything's gonna be alright, ai-ai-ai-aight
Be alright, ai-ai-ai-aight
Through the sorrow,
And the fights
Don't you worry,
Cause everything's gonna Be Alright,ai-ai-ai-aight
Be Alright,ai-ai-ai-aight..


But I lose control again when I recognise who the singer is.


You know that I care for you
I'll always be there for you
Promise I will stay right here, yeah
I know that you want me too
Baby we can make it through, anything
Cause everything's gonna Be Alright, ai-ai-ai-aight
Be Alright, ai-ai-ai-aight


It’s Justin Bieber’s song. It reminds me of Niall. Niall, Niall, Niall. Why? Why am I even reacting like that? It’s just rape...What do you mean just rape?! Rape is horrible! It’s wrong! These girls we’re raped because of you somehow. Soph it’s your fault. No it’s not. Niall’s the one who took the drugs. But he wanted to defend you Soph. Stop arguing with yourself!  I start whimpering again, wetting Harry’s shirt with a fresh round of salty tears. Niall, Niall, Niall. Why?

“Sorry. I’m such an idiot. I forgot.” The older boy apologizes rapidly. “What can I do to place a smile on that pretty face of yours?” He questions. Make me forget about rapist, drug taking Niall. Make me remember the sweet and loving Niall.

I stay silent for a few seconds, looking up at him teary eyed, a dilemma running wild within my head. Should I do it? In front of Harry? Yes. I need it. I’m gonna open Padgett. Remember the soft-hearted things Niall did. Forget about the bad stuff.

“Slice Padgett open.” I answer finally.

“What?” He frowns, clearly not expecting that as an answer.

“Open Padgett.” I repeat, huffing as I wipe my tears with the backside of my good hand. I get off him.

“Why wou―”

“Harry can you just give me the damn turtle and a pair of scissors?” I sigh, passing my hand through my messy hair.

“You’re gonna hurt Liam’s feeling’s...” He says after handing me the stuffed pet.

“No I won’t. We’ll stitch it back before he sees it.” I groan.

“I’ll go... fetch some scissors.” The green-eyed boy says slowly, before leaving the room. He comes back in seconds later, scissors in hand. “I’ll cut for you yeah?” he enquires, weight on the bed shifting as he takes a seat beside me once more.

“Sure. I’m right-handed anyways.” I huff, giving him the turtle. “Cut straight through the middle.” I instruct.

Harry does as asked, before setting the scissors down on the chair beside him. He frowns.

“Why are there papers in him?” he asks, pulling one of the shreds of paper out of Padgett. I pluck it out of his hands.

“These,” I wave it in front of his face, “Are the good memories of my time with you guys two years ago.” I look at the piece. “For example, this one says: In the changing room with Louis. We talked. It was nice.” I read. A cozy feeling forms into my stomach. Placing the piece of paper beside me, I grab another one. “When Harry defended me after Zayn’s actions.” I put it down, smiling a little at the memory. “See?” I pick two more bits of paper. “Liam giving me Padgett. Zayn apologizing.”

Harry picks one up. “Food fight with Niall.” He cocks an eyebrow up.

“That was so fun! I cracked eggs on his head!” I laugh. “And then he threw milk at my face.” I roll my eyes. “But then I got back at him and buttered his clothes!” I giggle at the souvenir, before sighing. Harry smiles.

“I think it’s one of the first times I hear you laugh. Like a genuine laugh. You’re pretty when you laugh Soph.” Harry remarks. I blush a little. “And you’re cute when you blush.” He adds, chuckling.

Tossing a strand of hair aside, I pick a different paper. “Harry singing me to sleep with Isn’t She Lovely.” I look at the older boy. “Can you sing me to sleep tonight?”

“Yeah maybe... If I can sleep with you.”

I frown.

“As in sleep in the bed.” He adds rapidly. “I do not wanna sleep in a chair.”

“What’ll the nurse say when she checks on me?” My brows furrow.

“Oh aren’t they cute!” He answers in a high voice.

I burst out laughing. “Harry this isn’t the Notebook.”

“Meh.” He shrugs, grabbing another shred of Padgett’s insides. “Louis jokes.” He looks at me, a smile on the side of his lips. “Louis’s jokes make you happy?”

“I should’ve written Louis personality.” I remark.

“Why?” he smiles, but his eyebrows are pulled together in a frown.

“Because Louis’s is just so full of life.” I explain. “His moods affect people! He’s sad, I feel sad. And when he’s joyful while I’m depressed, he can still get me to smile.”

“True that.” The curly haired boy acknowledges.

“You two should have more bonding moments.” I say while taking a new shard from Padgett with my left hand. “Liam’s nice side.

“Liam’s nice side?” Harry repeats confused.

“Are you gonna question every single one of my little sheets?” I respond. “Liam’s really sensitive... I can tell he feels guilty after he’s done something bad... And he tends to want to find a way to be forgiven. That’s his nice side. His apologies. They always turn out to be soft and cute. Like Padgett. Zayn also told me a few weeks ago he’d be willing to work out with me too.”

“Yeah he is. But that’ll be a little hard now, considering you’ll probably have a cast.”

“I’ll do some running exercises then.” I answer simply. I open up a different shred of paper. “With Niall at the London Eye.” That had been nice.

Harry rummages through Padgett, opening up a few. “You haven’t got many about Zayn.” He notices.

“Because I didn’t add the ones of these last couple of weeks. Zayn two years ago was distant and cold. But this year.... Zayn is like my big brother. He’s made me happy so many times lately...” I sigh, smiling.

“Supper.” A nurse enters, carrying a tray. She places it on the bedside table, and leaves almost immediately after, my gaze burning a hole into her back. Gosh. These ladies are so social.

“Do you want the food?”

“Not hungry.” I lie, placing the pieces of paper back into Padgett. I didn’t need cheering up anymore.

“Do you love Zayn?” Harry enquires after a few seconds of silence. “As in real love?”

“What is your definition of real love Harry?” I counter.

“I mean, would you start a family with him?”

“No.” I shake my head. “I doubt that. He’s really more like a family member himself. As in a brother, like I said earlier. And besides... he’s got Perrie. Did you see how much she’s changed him? I think that if a woman can change a man... Well there’s something definitely present between the two of them. A strong chemistry. People don’t change to please others... Unless they really like them.” I answer. Wow. I sound like Zayn.

“Wow. You sounded just like him.” Harry says, speaking my thoughts. “He went to see you many times this last month yeah?”

I nod.

“It shows.” He says.

“Is it a good thing or bad thing Styles?”

“I guess it’s alright Miller. Everybody needs to have a bit of a Zayn inside them somehow,” Harry shrugs. I start laughing. “What I just said sounded dirty didn’t it?” Harry realises, suddenly also chuckling. I bob my head up and down in affirmation, still sniggering. “And you’re laughing because you’re tired, correct?”

“Yup. If it was otherwise, I would’ve ignored it and rolled my eyes. Or maybe I wouldn’t have understood the double sense.” My stomach growls. “And now I’m really hungry.” I eye the tray near me and grimace. “Maybe not in fact.”

“I’m guessing you aren’t a fan of hospital food?”

“Not really.”

“I’m gonna go fetch you some real food then.” Harry stands up. “There’s a food store down the road. What do you want?”

“Umm. Food?”

“Oh really? I thought I was going to the supermarket to hunt a tiger.” He shakes his head. “No but seriously.”

“Some poutine.” I tell him.

“What’s that?”

“You don’t know what poutine is? You have not lived!” I exclaim, face slapping myself in over-dramatic exasperation. “Ah well too bad. It’s a Quebec meal anyways.”

“You wanted me to go all the way to Quebec to fetch you a meal? I mean I can go but you won’t see me until like two or three days later... You’d have starved by then and the boys would’ve―”

“Aha Harry I was only messing around with you. I think I’d be sated with sushi.”

“Good. That’s what’ll get. Wait for me here, I’ll be back in twenty alright?” Harry instructs, leaning on the doorframe.

“Harry, it’s not like I can go anywhere really.”

“True. Bu― Yeah never mind.” He shrugs and leaves. I exhale and arrange myself on the uncomfortable bed, before placing my pillow on my face, keeping my injured arm lying peacefully on my stomach.

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