Wanting What's Wrong

Two years have passed since Sophie Miller escaped. Two years since she was One DIrections private possession. Trying to get her life back to normal, Sophie heads to Mullingar. The boys of One Direction find her and drag her back into their messed up lives. Feelings start showing here and there, making Sophie confused. Is it really okay to start having feelings towards your kidnappers? Afterall, there is a very thin line between love and hate...


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33. Alien

To my great sadness, Harry’s presence was still missing when the nurses woke me up for my operation. I left the surgery room with a bright pink, itchy cast that covered my forearm. A cast I needed to keep for eight fucking weeks.

After the doctor had given me the instructions concerning my newly arranged wrist, he tells me I’m free to go. As I go back to my room to fetch Padgett and my pillow, I’m secretly hoping that Harry’ll be there, waiting for me. Holding my breath, I open the door. He’s not there. But Liam is though. He stands up from the chair as I enter.

“Hey there broken arm. You ready to go?”He smiles, my pillow and Padgett under his arm. I look at that last one carefully. He’s stitched back together. What? How? When?

“Where’s Harry?” I counter, looking around.

“Hello to you too little Miss Thoughtful. A ‘Hey Liam’ would’ve been nice. After all, I did feed your cat.” He shoots back, faking hurt.

“Hey Liam.” I roll my eyes, but smile anyways. “Where’s Harry?” I repeat.

“He left.” Liam answers simply, putting his hands into his jacket pockets.

“Obviously. But where? And why?” I persist.

“The where, I don’t know but he said he’d be back at home before you’d arrive. The why? Well he couldn’t sleep or somethin’.” The older boy shrugs. “And I don’t blame him. It’s almost impossible to sleep at ease in a hospital.” Liam stops, his brown eyes scanning me up and down. “And by the looks of it, you couldn’t get much sleep either,” he adds.

“I need a shower,” I groan. My gaze drifts to my cast. “Thank God for the waterproof cast.”

“About that.... For how much time will this neon thing be latched to your arm?” He asks, handing me my pillow and Padgett.

“Eight weeks.” I exhale, taking my stuff from Liam’s hands.

We step outside my room and head to the parking lot, Liam guiding me to his car.

I slump on the passenger seat as he starts the engine.

“Are you alright there?” he enquires.

“Just a little woozy. I guess the effects of the drugs they used on me during the operation haven’t completely worn off yet.”

“Hey do you wanna meet Danielle?” Liam questions once we’re on the road.

“Danielle?”

“Yeah a good friend of mine.”

“Is she more than a good friend?” I smile.

He avoids answering. “We met on the X-Factor. I don’t know if you’ve read about me and her before we... umm... Took you?”

I shake my head negatively. Okay so Danielle knows the whole band.

“Well anyways I got back in contact with her a few days ago.”

“And you wanna go see her now?” I ask, frowning.

“Yeah. She’s finishing her dance practice in about ten minutes and I said I’d pick her up.”

“I’m hungry, and I haven’t eaten breakfast so if―”

“Maybe after we pick her up we could stop at a Starbucks or something and the three of us could talk.” He proposes cutting me off, keeping his eyes on the road. He’s tense.

“Sure then. Why not?” I shrug.

The rest of the ride is quiet. I even manage to sleep a couple minutes.

“Hey wake up sleepyhead, were here.” Liam nudges me softly. I blink a few times. We were in front of a small, but classy dance studio.

“Do I have to get out?” I whine softly, my head pounding a bit. “Why don’t you just get her, and I’ll wait here in the backseat and try to get more sleep.”

“You’re cranky this morning huh?”

“Why wouldn’t I be? I just got a cast, I have a headache and I blame that on the surgery, and Harry left me all alone at the hospital yesterday, without saying a word.” I huff.

“Okay... Fine. I’ll go get her alone. You won’t get out of the car.... right?” He looks hesitant, unbuckling his seatbelt.

“Yes. I’ll stay here Liam. And not because I need to stay, but because I want to stay.” I admit.

He smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. He seems, saddened. “We finally broke you, haven’t we?” he says, guilt lacing his voice.

“Liam, don’t remind me alright?” I groan, rubbing my temples. “It’s bad enough I want what’s totally wrong.” I sigh, slumping in my seat as I cross my pink arm and the normal one over my chest.

“Fine, fine,” he chuckles, shaking his head in disbelief as he gets out of the car.

I observe him enter the building attentively. Once he’s in, I exhale and unbuckle my seatbelt, getting out of the passenger seat of the car. I lean on the car for a couple minutes, breathing the morning fresh air. My gaze drifts to the passing cars. The street full of people I could possibly mingle with. What is wrong with me? Why can’t I leave? I huff, scrutinizing the area, before looking down at my feet. It would be sooo easy. But Harry. I can’t leave him. Not after what he told me last night. And Niall. Oh no. If I leave, he’d kill himself. Why is the world so complicated? Shaking my head, I get in the backseat of the car, squeezing my pillow before throwing it angrily. Harry why didn’t you want to tell me you loved me? Why wait ‘till I was sleeping?! And Niall why did you rape those girls?! Why did you start cutting?! Liam why do you kind of feel bad for me?! Why now? Why these mood changes?! Louis why can’t I stay angry after you? Why do you always manage to put a smile on my face? Zayn why have you changed sooo much, to a point where I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you?!

“Why?!?” I yell, taking my head into my hands. “Why can’t these boys come with a fuckin’ manual?” I curse, shutting my eyes for a few seconds. I look at Padgett. “And why are you stitched?”

At that moment, I look outside and see Liam and a girl, Danielle I presume, walking out of the dance studio. Hands grazing, heads pulled back in a laugh. Well Liam... I think you two are gonna be more than just good friends.

I look at them closely as they approach the car, now hand in hand. Danielle is simply gorgeous. She’s tall, her hair is long and frizzy and her eyes are just about Liam’s color. Most of all, she’s naturally beautiful. Not an ounce of makeup was noticeable on her skin.

The duo gets into the car, and I still feel some of my prior resentment burning callously in my veins as the take a seat in front of me.

“And that’s Sophie. The girl I was talking you about.” Liam introduces me, motioning me in the back seat. The girl turns around to face me.

“Hey!” She smiles, exposing rows of pearly white teeth. “I’m Danielle.”

“I’m Sophie Miller, I’m eighteen and I’ve been sold to One Direction when I was sixteen,” I reply, smiling also. My smile drops almost immediately. Aww shit. I did not just say that.

From the front seat, Liam very visibly stiffens, shooting me a dark look in the rear-view mirror. Danielle frowns, not understanding. Well this is awkward.

“I mean sold as in they were so charming I didn’t want to spend a day away from them. My mom couldn’t take care of me and they just agreed to take me with them.” I correct rapidly. “Wow. Yeah that sounded better in my head.” I laugh nervously.

“You’re adorbs. I like you already.” Danielle gushes, giggling.

Liam also starts laughing as he starts the car, but it’s more forced and worried.

At Starbucks, the ambience is tense between me and Liam once Danielle and I start chatting about our lives and girl things, but it shrinks when Liam realises my earlier outburst was just a slip-up.

“I know why these boys kept you around. You are such pleasant company Soph,” Danielle chatters, sipping her latté.

“Thank you. You are great to be around too.” I return, smiling. And it was true. Half an hour later and I’m friends with a girl who’s eight years older than me. 

 “Liam.... Do you like Danielle? As in love-like?” I try, looking at him intensely once we’re back into the car, heading home. We had dropped Danielle at her bus stop a couple minutes ago.

“Whaaat? No. Of course not. Why would you think that? That’s just ridiculous. Ha-ha you’re real funny Soph.” He blabbers nervously.

“Liam...Maybe a crush?” I give him an inquisitive stare.

“Stop looking at me like that....I don’t have a―Ok yeah, I might’ve a little bit of a crush on her.” He gives in. “How’d you know?”

“You kept laughing nervously at the Starbucks.” I chuckle. “As if you we’re insecure. And you maintained a goofy smile on your face the whole time after you’d calmed down.”

“Calmed down?”

“Yeah... I could feel frustration bubbling off you during the first fifteen minutes.”

“With reason.” His grip tightens on the steering wheel. “You almost got me pegged for a rapist, in front of Danielle of all people!” He exclaims.

“I’m not gonna stay anything about this statement.” I reply, looking at the passing countryside.

“I am not a rapist Sophie Miller.”

“I didn’t say anything about you being a rapist.” I retort.

“Well you thought it.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No Liam, I didn’t.”

“Look, I don’t wanna argue with you right now.” The older boy exhales just as we arrive at the manor. He parks the vehicle.

“Great, me neither.” I say, getting out of the car with my stuff under my good arm. I walk to the house, a little demoralised.

“Sophie!” Louis jumps on me as soon as I set foot inside. “Can I sign your cast?”

“Louis,” I smile. Being that joyful, he’s practically acting like a kid. “I have to shower and then―”

“Pretty please with a naked me on top?!” he begs. Never mind. He’s an overgrown kid with nasty ideas.

“After I shower, if you really want to.” I give in. Predicting what he was about to say next by the devilish look on his face, I cut him off. “Not the naked part though.”

“Aww. It’s been so long already... how am I supposed to know if I’m working properly?” he whines.

“Don’t you have Eleanor or some other girl? Like Liam who has Danielle. She’s a sweet girl.” I say, walking upstairs to my room. Louis’s close on my heels.

“Yeah but... Wait you met Danielle?” The blue-eyed boy exclaims, stopping me in the staircase.

“Yes.”

“Louis!” Liam calls him from downstairs.

“What?!” The older boy shouts back. I flinch

“Leave Soph alone and come pick up the mess you’ve made in the living room!”

“Yes Daddy!” Louis mocks. He’s about to head down but I stop him.

“Hey Lou is Harry here?” I question.

“Yeah we played with the Nerf guns a few minutes before you arrived. Let me tell ya, I beat the crap out of him.” He winks. “If you’re looking for him, check his room.” He adds, walking down the stairs.

In his room... I head to mine, walking through Zayn’s. To my surprise, the dark boy isn’t there. He must be with Niall, I decide, going to my room.

Fate pounces in my arms as soon as I set foot inside.

“Hey there fur ball,” I coo, hugging her. “I’ll be back okay? I have to see Harry.” I add, placing her back down. I walk to the door written Harry, and open it.

Harry’s there, lying on his bed with his arms crossed behind his head.

“Hey love, how can I help you?”

“Harry, I have to tell you something.” I say slowly, shutting the door behind me.

“Go for it,” he says nonchalantly.

I bite my lip. Do I tell him I heard what he said last night? I should...But I won’t. It’s better if he doesn’t know.

“Harry why did you leave me alone in the hospital last night?” I finally ask. Guilt flickers in his face for mere seconds before he shrugs.

“I couldn’t sleep.” Liar.

“Why?”

“I told you, I loathe hospitals.” He shrugs.

“So you left me, all alone in a hospital, because you loathe them?”

“Yeah...” he frowns. “What’s the problem with that? Were you worried?” His eyebrow cocks up in curiosity.

“My problem is that you left without saying a word!” I explode, before pulling myself together quickly. “Harry you don’t leave a girl alone at night after being all sweet and stuff! Plus, I wasn’t worried. You can take care of yourself just fine. I was hurt.” I say more quietly.

His eyes soften, but the green-eyed boy doesn’t reply anything.

“So the answer to why you were gone without a word last night is as simple as you couldn’t sleep in a hospital?” My fists clench, my eyes shutting.

“Yeah.”

“Harry....” I exhale, opening my eyes slowly. “That doesn’t make sense. Not from you.”

“Yes it does. And especially from me. I doubt Niall would be the one to leave you alone. Or Zayn. Or Louis. Or even Liam.”

Harry, Harry, Harry...Don’t get the other boys into this. I heard you last night. Don’t push me away. If only I could speak these words aloud.

“Harry.” I sigh, shaking my head in desolation. “Don’t shut me out. Please. This is not about Niall right now. Or any of the other boys. This is about you and me.”

“I’m not shutting you out.” He denies.

“Harry...”                   

“I finally organized our date Soph.” The curly-haired boy cuts in. Wait...What?

“What? What date? Harry don’t change the subject.”

“You owe me a date remember?” He sing-songs.

“I said that about a month ago.” I counter.

“You still said it.” He shrugs, getting off his bed. He places himself so our bodies face each other, his body towering over mine. “You even promised... if I remember correctly. You wouldn’t break your word, would you?” His gaze is intense, daring me to say yes.

I take a careful step back. “No but―”

“Tut tut tut. No buts.” He reprimands, strangely reminding me of Louis. The green-eyed boy claps his hands. “So since we’re gonna talk about the date, might as well fill you in on all. Two things. Firstly, your Thanksgiving is coming up in three or four weeks. The fourth Thursday of November or something? Well I’m taking you out the Wednesday just before so don’t make any plans.” The fourth Thursday of November, that’s the American Thanksgiving Harry.... But wow really? American Thanksgiving is so soon? Jesus. The Canadian one is already over. Time has flown for the last couple of days. Wait why did he say ‘your’ Thanksgiving?

“You guys don’t celebrate Thanksgiving right.” I remark.

“No we don’t. But you do, right?”

“Yes, but the Canadian one is already over. It was like last week or something. And with whom would I make plans anyways?” I think out loud.

“Don’t know, but you’re unpredictable.” He overlooks my comment.  “Second, with the American Thanksgiving near,” he emphases on the American part, “Christmas is also approaching.”

“Well obviously―”

“Shush.” His finger is on my lips. “I want you to have your luggage packed for a twenty-day trip. It needs to be done by the end of this month. We will be leaving during the Christmas Holidays. A little after your cast is off.” Wait luggage? What in the world?

“Why would I need luggage?” My brain was going into overdrive.

“Because I’m taking you somewhere.” Harry responds. “The boys and I in fact.” He corrects. “We’ll have a big family dinner and we’re all gonna say a little hello to our families, go to Bradford, Doncaster, Wolverhampton, Mullingar and Holmes Chapel from the 19th to the 25th and on Christmas night, we’re taking the plane. We’re coming back to Ireland on about January 15th. So that means you have to make another suitcase for these six days.” He explains rapidly.

“Wait what? Harry slow down I’m confused...Where are we going exactly? And with whom?” It was a lot to take in at the same time.

“Somewhere. You and One Direction”

“Thank you for clarifying the location.” I say sarcastically, rolling my eyes.

“It’s my pleasure really.” Harry retorts cockily.

“No seriously Harry how am I supposed to pack if I don’t know where we’re going? For all I know, we could be going to a basement.” I rub my temples with my good hand and sit on his bed. This was not going as planned.

“I’m not that cheap.” He mocks hurt, sitting down beside me. “We’re gonna take you to more than one place so pack for about every weather.”

“Harry...” I groan.

“Want me to get Louis to pack for you?” The older boy proposes innocently.

“No way.” I shake my head, shutting my eyes at the horrid thought. “That bozo would pack my suitcase with lingerie and shit like that.”

“Do you want me to take care of it then?” he enquires, wrapping his arms around my shoulders.

My eyes shoot open and I gulp. Clearly, this is a trust test. Do I trust Harry? I think I do. Yes. I do. Especially after what he admitted last night. I should stop doubting him...

I stay silent for a couple seconds, biting my lip. “Yeah okay. Only I’m in charge of my toiletries.”

Harry very visibly shudders. “I wouldn’t have had it otherwise.” He stands up.

“What wrong with toiletries?” I frown.

“They are just.... Weird.” He grimaces. Ugh boys. “Show me a couple clothes you like? So I know I can put them in the suitcase when the time comes?” He suggests changing the subject, as he heads to the door that leads to my room.

“Harry, wait.” I stand up, following him. “I need to know three things.” I admit once we enter my room. Fate comes over and I cradle her in my arms. My cat starts scratching my cast in clear annoyance, wanting to rid me of this irregularity. Shaking my head, I change my mind and place her back on the ground. She climbs on my bed.

Harry watches the scene silently before proceeding to the end of my room, near Louis’s door.

“What do you want to know? I’ll try to give you reasonable answers.” Harry replies, heading to my closet. I’m close on his heels.

“No. You’ll give me truthful answers.” I retort.

“Sophie. I strongly advise not to provoke me right now.” He says very seriously, opening the wardrobe. “I’m just not in the mood for your attitude.” We walk inside.

“Fine.” I grumble. Feeling tension radiating off him, I decide not to push my luck and listen to his warning.

“Firstly, why did you tell me all of this now? The Christmas trip and all the bla bla.”

“Why not?” Harry responds simply. Indeed.

“Okay right... Second thing. Were you the one who fixed Padgett?”

“Why?”

“Were you?” I defy. Fate comes in the wardrobe with us, a little curious.

“Yes.” He abandons turning around to face me. “Yesterday, you said that he’d be fixed before Liam would see him so last night, when I realised it wasn’t gonna turn out true and Liam would probably be angry when he’d see Padgett split open, well I fixed him. I sewed him back together when you were in the operating room.”

“Well, thanks.” I sigh, picking my kitten up and caressing her head with my good hand. He smiles, turning back around.

“Wait. Harry.” I place Fate on the ground as he spins back around.

“What?”

I hug him. Hard. “Thank you.” I mumble in his shirt. He returns the hug awkwardly. “Thanks...For everything you did for me last night. Everything you said.” I continue.

“Everything I said?” The taller boy stiffens, worried. Why don’t you wanna tell me Harry?

“Yes. Everything we had the chance to talk about while opening Padgett. Our little bonding moment. It felt normal.” I pull back from the hug, looking into his eyes. “And the.. Well...I...Um.” I blabber. Spit it out Soph. Just say it. Tell him you heard him last night. “And thank you for the song you sang before I slept.” I exhale softly. I’m a chicken.

 “It was my pleasure really. I had been a dick for the last couple of weeks.” Our eyes lock, and I find myself leaning in to kiss him. Harry coughs uneasily.

“But Zayn’s the one who really deserves the gratitude.”

Ok why Zayn?!

“Harry.” I back away from him. “Stop bringing the other boys into moments like this.”

“Didn’t you say that there we’re three things you wanted to ask me? What’s the third one?” Harry deflects slyly.

I huff, ticked off. His subject changes were getting on my nerves. I answered nonetheless.

“Can I go to school this week?”

“No.” He shakes his head, his response sharp.

“Why? Harry, I need school!” I complain. “I need education!”

“It’s a waste of time Soph.” Harry contradicts.

“No Harry, it isn’t. Sometime soon, I’m gonna need to find a way to win my life. Earn money. Get a job.”

“No you won’t. You’ll be going on tour with us in about a year and we’ll keep giving you all you need.”

“No. You’ll forget one of the most important things a girl needs. Attention, comfort and love.”

“Attention?”

“You know that thing I lacked of before Niall took me outside yesterday?”

“And see where that got you?” he points my arm. “In a cast. Look Soph....you are just not going back to school.” He sighs, rubbing his temples.

“Why? Is it because you don’t wanna go anymore?

“Yes. And the other boys either. We’re going to need all our energy as we’ll be releasing new songs soon and starting a tour and all. ”

“You can trust me. I’ll come back to you Harry. I can drive over there and back. Just let me see Emily. Let me be social with girls.”

“I thought Liam made you meet Danielle?”

“He did. But the time of a coffee isn’t enough. Why are you being so difficult?”

He bites his lip in concentration, before getting out of the wardrobe muttering something sounding like “I’ll do this later.” Harry looks at me, his eyes probing mine. “Fine. Go to school.” He decides finally, throwing his arm up in the air in defeat.

 I smile, but it drops immediately as he continues.

“But you are the ones making plans to go and plans to come back. I, for a fact, am not lending you my car because I don’t want you to leave me. I swear that if you don’t comeback at a maximum of an hour after the school’s end time.... You’re grounded.” He decides.

“Grounded? What the hell Harry? You are not my father you can’t ground me.”

“Well you never had a father to do the job anyways.” Ouch. “Do not test me Soph. If you prefer punishing, then so be it.” Harry silences sternly, before slamming his room door loudly. I wince as I hear him yell in fury.

I stay in place, hearing things being thrown and broken in his room as well as dimmed heated screams. I shiver and flinch at some particular loud ones.

“I’m gonna go shower,” I mutter after standing immobile for a minute or two. Taking Fate in my arms, I walk through Zayn’s still empty room and head to the bathroom. Shutting the door behind me, I place my ginger kitten on the counter and undress, hopping into the glass case.

Once I’m done, I get out and wrap a towel around myself as best as I can due to my crab arm, and step out in the hallway. To my pleasant surprise, Fate follows me without me saying a word.

“One day you won’t be following me around though huh? You’ll just be one lazy ass cat.” I huff, looking down at my pet. Her ears twitch and she mewls just as I’m intercepted by Louis.

“Hey gorgeous.”

“Hey Lou.”

I stop walking as he bends down beside me and picks Fate up. “What happened with Hazza?” The blue eyed-boy enquires suddenly, walking by my side. “It’s like a hurricane tore through his room.”

“I don’t know Lou...I think he’s frustrated after himself or something. He’s trying to be nice with me, but tries to hide it at the same time...It’s weird huh?”

“Maybe.” The older boy shrugs his shoulders.

“And he told me about the Christmas trip.” I frown.

“We have a Christmas trip?”

“Apparently.” Oh so he didn’t tell the boys?

“Hey I put some clothes on your bed.” Louis says after a moment.

“Should I be afraid? Is like lingerie and stuff?”

“No... I must say though that your neon cast, is quite the turn off.” He chuckles.

We walk to my room, passing through his messy one.

“Do ya like it?” Louis enquires, pointing the outfit once were in my bedroom. On my bed was splayed a gorgeous dress, with black, white and teal stripes. I also had the silver directioner necklace, and a pair of black flats. I smile, and then I frown.

“Yeah it’s great.... Although I just hope my stupid cast is gonna fit in the sleeves.”

“Yeah the lace is elastic. It should be okay.” The Doncaster boy reassures, placing Fate on the floor. “I’ll leave you to change?” He asks.

“Yup.” Keeping a hold on my towel, I manage to hang the dress on my cast and Louis brings the accessories for me in the wardrobe. To my surprise, he places the objects on a little shelf, steps out, and shuts the door. Whoa. Louis not wanting to see me naked? I think he’s been brainwashed...

“Hey Louis can I ask you a question.” I question once I walk out my closet.

“You just did.”

“Louis. I need to ask you a favour.” I huff and he chuckles.

“Depends on what it is.” he replies smoothly. His features are curious though.

“Could you drive me to school and back tomorrow? And for the whole week? Or could you at least lend me your car if you don’t wanna go?”

He grimaces. “Did Harry say you could go?”

“Yes, but by my own means.”

“And you’re using me?” His eyebrows cock up in surprise.

“Yeah....” I respond uncertainly.

“Okay.” He agrees. “But there’s no way I’m letting you drive my car. I’ll drive you. And as payment....”He trails on thinking. Shit. I should’ve known that was coming... nothing is free with those boys huh? Nothing that doesn’t involve their personal needs anyways.

“I wanna be the only one to sign you cast.” He chooses finally with a proud smirk.

“S-s-sure. No problem.” I blabber, caught off guard. I was expecting a sexual favour or something...

“Then it’s settled. I’m gonna go get a sharpie. Wait a sec.” He winks, sauntering happily to his room.

I sit on my bed, still a little confused. This situation felt alien-like. It wasn’t normal. Harry putting himself after the other lads, Niall being a rapist, Liam being lovable and shy around Danielle, Louis asking for something non-sexual... What will Zayn turn out to be? Hopefully he’ll stay the same, open and transformed boy...

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