The Straight - Edge boy with the Pepsi Tattoo™

This is a story dreamt about. It is about a girl who runs away from England to a place of opportunity, America. But when she gets there things pan out really well. She then crosses paths with a boy but he isn't just a normal ordinary boy, he is special.

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34. New Year!

It is New Years Eve and I am still alive. I passed out the other night because I drank, ate and danced too much. Now that I reflect on my actions, I am starting to think that I had too much fun and acted really irresponsibly. I got a whole crowd of people - my age - and left them hyper in my own home, all passed out or constantly acting drunk. (Even though there was no alcoholic beverages to be sighted.) I am starting to feel a wave of guilt flooding over me, as if I am floating on the sea when the tide is high, drained and guzzled by the extra terrestrial within the waves. Eternal life taking me to eternal penitence. What more is there to say? I slept through Christmas Day, acting as though I was unconscious. 

Now that I think about these events, I see how deranged I had behaved. If I watched my actions that night from a point where I was sane, I would've been even more utterly disgraced and appalled at the atrocity of my actions. Not only does that dawn upon me, the worst feeling is that I may have destroyed all the links I had, just through one careless night. I hit myself time and time again because I feel like I have lost all my friends and the respect of all my classmates. There is no way, I can ever get anybody back. It's like I ditched them all, even Melissa, Roxanne and Vanessa. But the one I know that is on my heart is Phil. The friendship I had with him has been shattered into a thousand minuscule pieces. Never to be amended. I didn't act like he was my best friend and I didn't treat my occasion like a party. I treated him like a stranger I picked up at a night club, which I went to an orgy with. The other night I flirted with him viciously, and it was like a tiger clawing and snatching at the insides of its prey, and then ripping it all up in its merciless jaws. I kissed him on the cheek, close to the lips and teased him without stopping. I remember I was pushed to the ground by someone who was falling and I licked his upper left leg. I kissed him stomach and thighs and waist and didn't let go. I don't remember anything from there on. I am disgraced and have lost all my dignity, no self-respect for this, no contentment. Just tears and gasps of empty lifeless air. Suffocating in dread of the deadliness in reckless living. I am distraught and my eyelashes are dry, bubble tear drops I cry. Is there poison in my eyes? Everywhere I look, all is dull and dreary because all I see are memories (not just from the party but all my life) in the drops of rain that come pouring down, but seem to me to remain motionless, outside from clouds. Not only are they made of thunder, but steel. 

The doorbell rings and I get up slowly from my battered, wooden chair. I go over to look in the mirror and I am a state. My pupils in my ruined eyes are as narrow as a dot and the circumference of my eye is so messed up. My hazel eyes have turned grey, like a chimney that has never been swept. The clothes I wear are as dirty and tattered. Finally, my hair looks as though it belongs to a witch who was flown on her rusty, sooty broomstick through many, many thunderstorms. But I don't care any more, so I answer the door. 

Guess who it is? Phil. Inside I scold myself, over and over again 'til I make a gasp in pain. 

"...Alicia... what... has... happened... to you? he asks, acting ever more concerned.

"I am finished," I tremble in a deep, dark, disturbed voice.

"The other night... it is ok," he speaks as he tries to reassure me... but I cannot be reassured.

"It is not ok, it never will be. I can never forgive myself for what I did. It was like a tiger gripping at the insides of its prey, eviscerating all that was to be found. What have I done? How could I? There must have been something in my drink," I cry in a disastrous tone. 

"Oh Alicia, it wasn't your fault. Don't go so hard on yourself, I have come here to tell you the truth on what happened."

"Don't I already know? I don't need reminders," I grumble under my breath.

"No, it was those girls who we don't like. They dressed up as the 'nerds' there who were hiding in the corner. They weren't just shy people, they had a plan to ruin your party. So they contaminated your drink with vodka and the rest of your group's drinks. They did it randomly to a few others and then left. They came to ruin everything for you. I heard just now that you passed out, and when you did they took photos and videos of them trashing your apartment and torturing you. I came as soon as I heard the news from Alex who texted me to tell you."

"WHAT? Are you joking? But I should've known that they were coming to get me, but they got me in a sly, cunning, mischievous way. I admit that they got me, but they got me bad. They have ruined everything!" I scream.

"I know that they crashed the party, but what else have they ruined?" Phil asks me, his hand holding up my chin.

"I have lost all my friends and classmates, as well as people's respect and trust. But I have lost all my self-respect and dignity. What friendship you and me had is now gone, because of those brat trolls!" I cry and burst in to fits of tears. He hugs and me tight and comes in, sits me on the couch and holds my head. He tells me everything will be alright and that he will always be my best friend. He reminds me that I am still straight-edge, even though they played that wicked trick. I forge a small smile before collapsing into a heap on his lap. He strokes my hair and untangles it with his fingers, while patting my head occasionally and giving me a gentle squeeze. He looks at me lovingly and kisses my forehead. He sits me in his lap like I am a baby child and tries to cheer me up. I smile and bury myself within him, my hair completely in his face. "I'll clear myself up because I am a living mess right now. I'll be right back," I say and then run up the stairs, while he sits there waiting. I brush my hair and it hurts like hell as I untangle every inch of my hair, and end up yanking some of it out. I try to hold in a scream, but turn red like a cherry. I splash water in my eyes and they are restored to the hazel I adore, and I wash my face to clear my skin, although it is as pale as ice. I change my clothes into a t-shirt and jeans, and put my hair in a ponytail in front of my shoulder.

Now I look half decent and slowly tiptoe downstairs, Phil is still sitting there loyally and I then sit next to him and hold his arm. He looks surprised as he mentions he didn't even hear me, and I just let everything out.

"Phil, you probably think I'm evil and bad company. Like I am someone who you shouldn't be around, but I'll tell you this from me. You... deserve so much better."

He looks shocked and sighs. "How many times do I have to tell you this?" he exclaims. "You are my BEST friend and nobody can make me not want you. They stitched you up and I am here to catch you. I will always be here to catch you when you fall because I haven't ever cared about someone like I have cared about you. Never mind me, I DON'T want YOU to leave me. Without you, I feel... lost. Before I met you, I was lonely and a kid who had no hope. Now you are with me and I feel blessed. Don't leave me Alicia.... please!" he cries. "Listen, I know this may sound odd, but Alicia.... I love you."

There is silence and the rain stops spitting down, instead the moon replaces it peeping out through a bundle of clouds. I am completely drowned in my thoughts; my head is spinning. Because I am so numb, it feels like I am thoughtless, emotionless, but confused at my own feelings and thoughts all at the same time. I am frozen. He squeezes me tight and kisses me once again on the forehead, looks in to me dumbfounded eyes and strokes the lower sides of my face. Then the front door opens and then shuts quietly, and I hear the "BANG!" of the fireworks which light up the sky, alongside the moon. I finally, regain my senses and watch the fireworks dazzle me, as they fandango over the reflection in my eyes. It is a new year.

 

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