I'll Fight Forever

"Anna, come look at this, I think you'll like this." I walked around the couch and sat next to my mother carelessly. What could make a girl like me happy?
"What?" I said groaning. She handed me the news paper. I looked at the title on the page, 'Sing for the Sick'. "Okay so what?" I said, not really caring.
"One of those boy bands are coming to town to sing to kids like you." Kids like me?
"I think I'll pass this time mom." I said handing back the newspaper.
"You've been stuck in two places that none of us enjoy, it's no longer a choice if you go or not."
I took the news paper back from her. "If I'm going, I at least want to know who I'm going to see." I read threw the article quickly. And for some reason I felt a little excited. One Direction was coming to town.

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5. Chapter Four

(Anna's POV)

 

"White lips, pale face.

Breathing in snow flakes.

Burnt lungs, sour taste."

 

"Lights gone, days end.

Struggling to pay rent.

Long nights, strange men."

 

"And they say.

She's in the class A team.

Stuck in her daydream.

Been this way since eighteen.

But lately her face seems.

Slowly sinking wasting.

Crumbling like pastries."

 

"And they scream.

The worst things in life come free to us."

 

I stopped, actually paying attention to the lyrics. White Lips, pale face. I looked at myself in the mirror, slowly taking out my headphones and laying them at my side.

Lights gone, days end. Does it mean I'm one day closer to death?

But lately her face seems, slowly sinking wasting, crumbling like pastries. I looked at my bald head. My fragile skin.

The worst things in life come free to us. My eyes watered and I felt my knees go weak. I dropped my ipod on the floor and ran down the stairs to our kitchen. I opened the cabinet, and pulled out my depressant pills my doctor had given me when I first started chemo. I threw the pill in my mouth and drank some water, swallowing it. I looked at the pills in the container, there were so many.

I dumped all of them into my hand. I just wanted all the pain to go away. I heard the front door open, and I turned around to see my father walk in. I stood there in the middle of the kitchen like a dork with messed up runny makeup, holding a ton of depressant pills in my hands. He stopped, and looked at me. "Don't do it." He said, with a pleading face I had never seen before.

I felt like I wasn't in control of myself. My hand was shaking so badly, wanting to get the pain over with. "I hurt so much you just don't understand." I clutched my stomach, as I fell short of breath from the pain. "I'm worthless dad, there's no point, I'm ugly." I shook my head continuously. "I'll never find somebody that loves me because I'm ugly. I'll never have kids." Things kept running through my mind faster and faster.

"Anna, just-." He stuttered. "We can talk about this."

"Yeah." I wiped a few tears. "Let's go get Anna some more makeup so she feels better about herself."

"Anna, please baby." My dad walked a little closer. But then suddenly I felt no pain, I felt numb. I looked back down at the pills in my hand. I set them down on the table, the one thing separating me from my dad now. My dad started putting all the pills back into the container. I was a sliver away from death, I could feel it. But now I feel nothing. My dad grabbed onto my hand and pulled me into the living room. "I think it's time we get you into therapy."

I laid my head down on the couch, my head pounding like I had a hangover. "We can't afford it, we can barely afford any other medical bills." I said, my eyes feeling heavy.

My dad let out a heavy breath, knowing that I was right. "Maybe we can set up another fundraiser at the firehouse or something."

I didn't reply, because there was nothing to say. "I'm glad your home." I finally said.

"I'm glad you're home too." He said, rubbing my back a little. I gave him a soft smile before he kissed my cheek and left me alone. No pain, no feelings. I felt good. I lifted up my white t-shirt, that was to big for me. I looked down at the scar on my stomach, black stitches stained with dry blood. I ran my finger down it slowly. I had nothing to think of, my mind was blank.

 

(Kat's POV)

 

The concert was finally tonight. Anna got to go home for the first time in almost 3 weeks, and she's been doing her best in a long time. It was finally summer time too, which meant that I was going to be a senior next year. I guess I'm excited, only because it's my last year or High School. Anna hasn't talked much about her senior year, because she thought she'd die her Sophomore year. A lot of us did. "Dad I'm going over to Anna's." I yelled to my dad, as I started to walk out the door.

"Okay drive safe." Most teenagers would respond by saying "Whatever." But, I don't think I have the heart to say that anymore. I got into my truck, which was rusty and needed to be thrown out. I turned it on, and drove off to Anna's.

Anna only lives about 10 minutes away. Once I got inside her house, I saw Anna laying on the couch half passed out. "Anna?" She perked up quickly.

"Oh my gosh I forgot." Then she looked at me. "I can't go like this Kat, maybe we should skip the concert and the shopping." She said. Anna and I had planned on going shopping at the mall, but I guess she couldn't go?

"Why not?" I said sitting on the couch, kind of disappointed.

"I can't go to the mall like this anymore." She covered her eyes with her hands.

"Did you take your depressant pills today?" She froze then. She ran to the kitchen and opened the cabinet. "I'm going to the bathroom." I said, but she didn't respond. I walked into the kitchen, and Anna was throwing all the pills into her mouth. "Anna what are you doing!?" I didn't know what to do, so I walked up to her and slapped her in the face. Some pills came out of her mouth, but she fell onto the floor. "Shit Anna, oh my god." I tried to stay, calm but I was starting to panic. I grabbed my phone from the table, struggling, my hands shaky. I heard footsteps come down the stairs. I dialed the ambulance as Anna's father came down the stairs.

My head was spinning, was this the end? I felt dizzy, and I had to go outside. Tears slipped from my eyes as I heard the sirens. Before I knew it the Ambulance was at Anna's house. She was carried outside, and put inside the back of the ambulance. I got into my car, and Anna's dad sat in the passengers seat as we drove to the hospital. We didn't talk at all, but he looked mad more than anything. I was crying, but I tried not to make sound so I wouldn't embarrass myself.

Once we got to the hospital, Anna was asleep. They had to pump her stomach to remove everything before the pills started to work completely. "I have therapy every Tuesday and Thursday, maybe she should come with." I said staring at Anna's unconscious body.

Her dad stared at Anna, surprised, and terrified to take a step towards her as he stood in the frame of the doorway. "Maybe that'd be a good idea." As silence filled between us, the machines hooked up to Anna made a soft beeping noise. The noise that I heard after I woke up from surgery. "When she wakes up, I want you to take her shopping." He paused again. "Is that okay?"

"Yeah, I'd be more than happy, I have some money left from babysitting some kids that we can use." Anna's father walked over to me and handed me three 20 dollar bills. "I'll give it to Anna."

"Use it on yourself, I'll sign the papers for Anna got leave." He said, he smiled at me. "I have to go back to work, Anna's mom should be coming soon." I nodded and he left the room. A nurse walked into the room after he left, and she looked at Anna and I with a box of something.

"Are you and Anna going to the concert tonight?" She asked, I wans't surprised she knew Anna, but then again everybody knew Anna. I nodded, she began digging in the box. "How is she doing?" She asked, while searching.

"Took to many pills, they had to pump her stomach."

"I bet that was scary." It made me mad that her voice wasn't very serious, but she was a nurse and was use to these kind of things, so I tried not to lose my temper. "Only because Anna's a favorite patient of mine." She said, handing me 4 tickets.

"But, we only need 2." I said confused.

"Two are concert tickets, two are backstage passes." She smiled, and I sprang up from my chair and hugged her.

"Oh my gosh, you just made my day 75% better than it was, this means so much to me." I looked at the tickets as I pulled away from the hug. "Anna's going to be so happy." The nurse smiled.

"You girls have a good time." She said, before waving and leaving. I squealed, and I heard movement come from Anna's Direction.

"Kat?" She said, groaning a little. "I have a terrible taste in my mouth, can you get me some water?"

"I don't know." I bit my lip, and I couldn't keep it in any longer. "But I can sure get us 2 backstage passes to the concert?" Anna's eyes widened, and her smile met both of her ears. She covered her eyes, as her eyes watered. "Now will you go shopping?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world, but I am kind of strapped in." She said laughing.

"It's okay, your dad went and signed the release papers." Anna yawned, and crossed her arms over her chest. "I'll have to get you an energy drink, you have bags under your eyes." I said laughing a little.

"And maybe a couple hundred bars of chocolate." Anna said with a smile.

"Because you could eat that much." We both laughed.

About an hour later, Anna was let out of the hospital. I don't know how Anna's dad got home, so I just figured he caught a cab or walked. I got into the drivers seat of the car. "So where do you want to go first?"

"Newcastle Mall, they have a new store there that I want to check out." I drove off to the mall, and we shopped there for over 2 hours. We each bought 1 outfit for the special night. I got black skinny jeans with a tank top that had the England flag on it, with black converse boots and a jacket. Anna on the other hand, got a black shirt, that fit lose on her. She wore a flowered shorts, and cute flats that matched her shirts. I on the other hand thought she looked cute, but she kept twisting the hospital band on her wrist.

"Nobody with cancer ever thinks their beautiful Kat, it's just a consequence of cancer."

"Nothing about cancer is a consequence, out of all the people in the world, you got cancer." It was true, even if she wouldn't believe it.

"Well I must have done something wrong, because God is punishing me for something."

"Maybe you got cancer for a reason." I said, but Anna just rolled her eyes.

"To die at a young age." She nodded. "That's the best reason." I decided to drop the topic then, she had the biggest mood swings sometimes but we all knew it was just her chemotherapy.

 

(Anna's POV)

 

"Tickets." A man said, who was bald with a black suit on. He was definitely in his late 30's by the looks. Kat handed the man our tickets, and we showed him out backstage pass that was looped around our necks. "Go ahead." He said groaning as he opened the gate." We walked in, and the building was packed full of screaming crying girls. Typical.

"Hey look over there." A huge TV on the wall, showed the boys while they were getting ready backstage. "Come on." Kat grabbed my arm and pulled me along, I looked back one last time and Niall was on camera. I smiled before getting consumed by a huge crowd of girls.

"Do you girls have backstage passes?" Another man asked, we showed him the passes looped around our neck and he scanned them. "Go up the elevator there." He said pointing to two glass doors that were closed tightly together. "Then when you get upstairs take a right, and somebody will be up there to take you backstage."

"Do we take the elevator up or down?"

"Down." With that, Kat grabbed my arm once again and we ran. We pushed threw the crowd and to the elevator. A man by the elevator, asked to see our passes. He checked our numbers and then opened the doors. We walked inside, and squealed silently.

"Oh my gosh I can't believe I finally get to see Louis Tomlinson!" Kat said.

"I just can't believe I'm here." The elevator came to a stop and we piled out.

Two men who wore black tshirts and black pants came to our side. They looked completely serious, but they were actually really nice. "So you two are both sick? Or are you some crazy girl fans?" Said a man to the right of me.

"I'm the crazy girl fan, and she's the sick one." Kat said pointing to me.

"Oh really?" He said.

"Cancer." I said in the most original way possible.

"My mother had cancer." The guy said to the left. "She's a survivor, and by the looks of it, you look really good too." I smiled.

"Thanks." I said.

"Here are the boys rooms." There were 5 doors, but the hallway was silent. "Would you guys like us to go in with you, you seem shy." Kat and I both stopped at the beginning of the hallway, frozen.

"I'd like that." I finally said, breaking the silence. I just couldn't believe it. The guy who's mother had cancer told me his name was Paul. He took me down towards the end of the hallway, when the one and only Harry Styles came out of the room. He burst out, almost running into Paul and I. He froze then, and took a step back.

"Sorry about that." He said, rubbing the back of his neck. I swallowed a lump in my throat.

"Harry this is Anna." Harry smiled, thankfully Paul introduced me, because I had a feeling I wasn't going to be able to talk.

"Nice to meet you Anna." Harry said, holding out a hand. I shook it, scared of what to do, and I wondered how Kat was doing with the other guy dressed in black. I felt tears come to my eyes, but I refused to let myself cry. "I'll show her around?" Harry said willingly. Paul nodded and walked back towards the elevator. "So Anna." He said, while knocking on another door.

"Yeah?" I said, my voice shaky, but before Harry could say something Zayn opened his door. I froze once again. I just couldn't believe it.

"The concert starts in 30 minutes, why aren't you dressed?" Harry said laughing. Zayn wasn't wearing a shirt, and was only wearing his pants.

"Sorry that it takes me longer to do my hair." He said, while I stood there like a dummy. "Who's this?" Zayn asked, looking down at me.

"I'm a..." I forgot my name for a second.

"Anna." Harry said for me, I looked up at him and smiled.

"Sorry." I said, looking away embarrassed as my cheeks turned bright red.

"Hey it's fine, I'm surprised you're not screaming or crying like any other girl would." Zayn said laughing.

"I can't really do that without running out of breath." I said, smiling, and laughing weekly.

"Oh yeah sorry." Zayn said realizing he was singing for the sick.

"There's no need to apologize it's not like you gave it to me." I said laughing a little, and Zayn smiled.

"Who's at the door?" I heard an thick Irish accent say. My face went pale, and I felt as if I was going to faint.

"Are you okay?" Harry asked as Niall came to the door, and stood in the frame. He also wasn't wearing a shirt, and I couldn't help but stare. He was holding a pop in his hand, and his hair was perfect. His eyes made my knees weak. "Hello?" Harry said waving his hand in front of me. My face turned a bright red as I looked away.

"What's your name?" He said, I looked up and noticed his cheeks were bright red as well.

"Anna Sanders." I said putting my hands in my back pocket of my shorts. Why did I say my last name? Who says their last name?

"Anna's a pretty name." Niall said, I turned and looked up at Harry. And right as I did he winked at Niall. I bit my bottom lip.

"Hey guys meet Katarina." I turned, and saw Louis with his arm around Kat. Katarina? "She's my new hottie." I looked at Kat and she was smiling, and her cheeks were bright red. She looked at Niall, then back at me. She winked and gave me a thumbs up.

"Louis this is Anna." Niall said. "She's my new hottie." Niall said putting his arm around me as we faced Louis and Kat.

"Not if I steal her." Kat looked stunned, and made a wide O with her mouth as she turned towards Louis. Louis turned towards her. "Oh it's alright darling, I'll always love you more." Louis said kissing the tip of her nose. Kat didn't speak, and I was surprised. This was the first time I had seen her speechless.

"Well we better get ready." Harry said as a girl handed him a microphone. Niall went to turn, and

"Oh yeah, sorry to distract you guys." Kat said as Louis removed his arm. Niall went to turn, but my shoulder tipped his cup and its liquid spilled down the front of my shirt. Niall froze, and everybody looked at me.

"Smooth Move Dr. Love Machine." Louis said as I looked down at my shirt.

"I am so sorry." Niall said, but I couldn't be mad at him. Kat and I both started laughing and the boys all looked at us weird. So they started laughing too. "Here come to my room I'll see if I have a shirt you can wear or something."

"Yeah, smart idea, maybe people will mistake her for a guy then." Louis laughed. But Niall just glared at him while we walked into Niall's dressing room.

"I'm guessing that my shirts will be to big, maybe I could buy you one at a gift shop after the concert." I smiled.

"Sure I'd like that." I said sitting down on a couch. "Maybe I'll look like a crazy fan girl then." Niall laughed as he tossed me a tshirt.

"Sorry I ruined your shirt." He sounded really sympathetic, and it made me feel bad. He turned around and looked at me then, and we locked eyes.

So I broke the complete silence, even though I really didn't want to. "Um, you might want to get ready for the concert it should be starting soon."

"Oh yeah." Niall said, rushing back to his closet to find something else to wear. He came back out of his closet then and leaned on the frame. "Is it weird if your crushing on somebody that just came to see you sing in a concert?"

I didn't really know how to answer so I brought up the thought of him being late again. "Get dressed." I said throwing a pillow at him.

"I know I know." He said laughing as he walked back to his closet. When he came back out he was wearing black pants with a white tshirt. "Going original, thought I should make your time worth it."

"You don't have to make it worth it, just coming here is making my life change." Niall smiled as he came and sat next to me. I looked away then, feeling a tightening in my chest. I covered my mouth as I coughed. "Sorry." I said as I finally caught my breath.

"You okay?" He said kind of worried.

"Yeah it's normal." I said with a smile.

"Do you have allergies or something?" He said rubbing my back.

"Ugh, no." I said, I suddenly felt scared to tell him that I had cancer. Would he be scared of me? I could tell Paul that I had cancer, but when I went to speak something stopped me.

"What's wrong?" He said, and I felt the blood drain from my face.

"I ugh." I tried to search for the words to tell him what was wrong. Should I fake my disease? "I have a cold." I said, with a weak smile. "It's not contagious though." I looked away from him and looked towards the door.

"In summer time? Well I hope you get better." I nodded, and Harry came through the door.

"Come on Niall, stop hitting on her we have a concert starting in 3 minutes." I looked at Niall and I felt my face turn bright red again.

"Hey, meet me here after the concert."

"Okay." Niall got up and started walking towards the door, he turned back towards me then.

"Don't forget to change." He said laughing. I looked down at my shirt, when I looked back up he was gone and Kat was in the doorway instead.

"Oh my gosh I can't believe that just happened." I felt zoned out, and Kat's words were all blurry. "You feeling okay?" She said, placing her hand on my head. I just nodded, and played with Nialls tshirt that was folded neatly in my lap. "What's wrong?"

"I had a coughing fit, and Niall asked if I had allergies." Tears threatened to fall down my face. "Not that I'll see him again, but I told him I had a cold and I feel awful."

"Why couldn't you just tell him you had cancer?" Kat said sitting on the couch with me.

"I thought he'd get scared." I looked at Kat as she brought me into a hug. I had a gut feeling that I'd regret this.

 

A/N: Sorry I haven't updated. I didn't have internet, because we had some really high winds a couple weeks ago and I live far out from town so our powerlines were down for a while.

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