The Bright Side.

Peter Smith has just found out he has a month left to live due to a lethal brain tumour.
He has also just found out that in less than a month, the human race will become extinct and that he has been chosen to be one of six humans to survive the approaching apocalypse. And who has saved him? E.I.P.F, the Earth Inhabitant Protection Front, a group of intergalactic environmentalists who want to save just one species.
And so, whilst also keeping his deadly secret from the aliens, Peter embarks on a quest to rally the chosen survivors, whilst avoiding Government Agents, the secret services, Satanists, Velociraptors, and a manic depressive Tyrannosaurus .


21. Chapter 21

Twenty-four hours . . .


Doctor Mooring sat in his office, usually, if the world was ending, people would either be with their families, or out boozing and rioting and generally making a mess of things. Not this doctor, no. He knew that he had some tidying up to do. He had emptied all of his filing cabinets and had laid all the files out along his office, so that each patient name was visible to him as he walked through them. He finished typing into his computer, pressed enter, then smiled. “Ha!” he exclaimed, “Now the whole world knows that Mrs Adrienne Roberts came to me with a bad case of Herpes not two weeks ago!” he then plucked up the file, and threw it out the open window. It was true, Doctor Lester Mooring was living out one of his dreams to break the boring rule of patient confidentiality. He had never understood it, and it was a waste, having all these fun and amusing cases stored up in metal prisons, when they could be shared with the world, giving the human race an opportunity to laugh at those less fortunate than themselves. He picked up another file and sat back in his desk, he glanced at the name and smiled. “Oh Mr William Sharpe, what fun we've had!” he flicked open the thick file, and spent a good half an hour uploading every embarrassing ailment Mr Sharpe had ever suffered from to the world wide web. Then, with a flick of wrist, the file of Mr Sharpe began a new, short life, in the outside world. With a gleeful smile, Lester jumped to his feet and hopped across the room, a name jumped out at him, “Ah ha!” he said, snatching up the file, another name jumped out at him just a few feet away from the first file. He paused, “Ah?” he picked up both files, straightened up, and inspected both files. He read the name on the first file, then the name on the second file. His ruddy complexion, suddenly lost all colour, as if someone had pulled the plug from the bath of his features. “Oh dear.” he murmured. “Oh dear.”


Professor James English sat at his desk, fiddling absently with a small yellow, plastic telescope he had on on the desk surface. He sighed wearily and span around, staring out the window. The sky was bright with stars, but he could see the patient red glow of dawn creeping along the horizon. Oh how he had enjoyed sitting there as a child, gazing out a window admiring the night sky. “Well,” he sighed, “One day left.”

There was a sudden knocking on his door, with another weary sigh, he got up and opened the door. “Bentley?” English exclaimed.

His fellow scientist smiled. “Hello English.”

James frowned, then looked over the head of the short scientist, “Green? Parker? What are you all doing here? I thought you'd be at home!” James exclaimed.

“We were,” Green explained. “but we ran into a bit of trouble.”


“Our mothers said, just because the world was ending didn't mean we couldn't go out and socialise.”

James nodded, mothers were the bane of every scientist's life. “So, we thought we'd spend the last day at the place we loved the most!” Bentley stated with a sad smile.

“But the museum had been closed down, so we thought we'd join you instead!” Parker added. James smiled, “Thank you.” the three scientists jammed themselves into the tiny office and stood there awkwardly.

“Well,” English said.

“Yes?” Bentley asked.

“Erm, been anywhere nice on your holidays?”

There was a chorus of no from each scientist. They entered a subdued, embarrassed silence. Suddenly Parker's eyes fell onto the window, they widened in shock. “Good lord!” he exclaimed.

“What?” Green shrieked, fearing that the end had begun earlier than predicted.

“I think – yes, I think I've discovered a new star!” Parker pointed out the window towards a shining spot in the sky, nearly lost in the breaking dawn. English scrambled past the three gawping meteorologists and snatched up his toy telescope. He yanked it open and raised it to his eye, “Good lord!” he breathed, “It is! It is! It's a brand new star!”

“A new star discovered on the last day on Humanity. Shame we're all atheists, otherwise that would mean something.” Bentley stated.

“What shall we call it?” Green asked.

“I don't know.” Parker said, frowning in thought.

“Where's Reg?” English asked, “He's always wanted to discover a new star, hasn't he got a name already?”

“Yes,” Bentley said, “that's right, he has. Yes, where is Reg? Does anyone know?”


Reginald Smythe sighed and looked up. He had missed the sight of the new star, he had been too busy staring forlornly at a puddle with an empty vodka bottle floating in it. Now the blazing, monstrous sun dominated the sky, and any trace of a new star was lost in the early morning glare. He looked up and frowned, “Someone,” he said, “has put a pair of knickers on top of Nelson's column.” all members of The Pentagram Society of Evil and Unbidden Thoughts Worshipping The Almighty Prince Of Darkness and Bringer Of Ultimate Destruction, Lord Lucifer, Satan, King Of The Underworld joined him in looking up at the monument. It was true, the statue at the top of the column had sprouted a piece of foreign underwear on top of his admiral's hat. Emilia sighed, staring straight ahead, “Some teenager climbed up there a few hours and put it up.” she said blankly.

“Oh.” Reg said, he then continued to stare at the floating bottle.

“I've always wanted to do something like that.” Jimmy stated, placing his spotty head in his hands.

“Why haven't you?” Lionel asked, scratching his pimple.

“I could never get a pair of women's underwear.”

the members of The Pentagram Society of Evil and Unbidden Thoughts Worshipping The Almighty Prince Of Darkness and Bringer Of Ultimate Destruction, Lord Lucifer, Satan, King Of The Underworld, nodded understandingly.

Reginald suddenly jumped to his feet, “Look!” he exclaimed, “What in the blazes are we doing sitting here in Trafalgar square for?”

Emilia sighed, her patience had snapped several hours ago after sitting for two days with these idiots. The only reprieve for her was watching the stupid teenager fall from Nelson's column and break his neck. She glared at the small meteorologist, a thin film of stubble darkened his chin and his hair was unkempt and greasy, “I told you,” she said icily, “this is where we'll find Peter Smith. He's coming here, then we can save this sodding world.” a lie she told herself, Peter Smith would arrive, she would spot him, make some excuse to the others about going to the toilet, then force Peter Smith to take her up to the space ship whilst she left the non-Satanist Satanists to their doom. Reg snorted angrily, “Yeah right!” he exclaimed, “How can we believe you? So far you've given us no proof that you can predict the future!”

“You're about to step in a puddle.” Emilia said lazily without glancing at him. Reginald glanced down at the puddle and grunted, “Sure.” he murmured, he turned to the others. They all looked as downcast as he could expect them to, “Come on, who's coming with me?”

“And go where?” Rogers snapped, he had run out of tobacco for his pipe three hours ago and was less than happy, especially knowing that he was willingly listening to Reginald Smythe. “We still have time!” Reg said, “We can call upon the dark lord himself!”

“We've tried the dark lord seventeen times!” Alison screeched, “He's not answering!”

“Well I'm going to try for an eighteenth time!” Reg stated angrily, “Who's with me?” when a procession of agreement failed to appear, he snorted in anger. “Fine.” he growled, “Call yourself members of The Pentagram Society of Evil and Unbidden Thoughts Worshipping The Almighty Prince Of Darkness and Bringer Of Ultimate Destruction, Lord Lucifer, Satan, King Of The Underworld? Hey? You're nothing more than a joke.” he then rounded on his heel and stepped forward. There was a loud splash, Reg gritted his teeth, he could feel Emilia smiling smugly behind him. “Told you.”

Limping slightly, with a soaking foot, Reg stormed off into the distance. Lionel watched him go, then nervously turned to Emilia. “Erm,” he said, “are you definitely sure he'll turn up here?” he shrunk back under the woman's burning glare. “It's not that I don't believe you,” Lionel said hurriedly, “it's just, we've been waiting here for several days now, and there's been nothing.”

“Look!” Emilia said furiously jumping to her feet, “He's coming, all right? And when he does, I promise that he'll show us the way to save humanity, okay?” contrary to popular belief, Emilia found it incredibly easy to lie. Especially to dullards like these, it was even easier than stealing sweets from a baby. “Right.” Lionel said, he glanced at Alison, his wife nodded encouragingly, “Well, if it's all right with you, Alison and I would like, just quickly, to erm, pop to church.”

“Church?” Emilia exclaimed, “I thought you worshipped Satan?”

“Oh we do!” Alison stated, “But we thought we'd go and see what God had to offer in terms of life after death, compare the market as it were. You can't be too careful.” whilst Emilia stared at the pair in shock, they rose to their feet and dusted themselves down. “But we're sure you're right!” Lionel said, with as much hope as a Lobster who's seen the pot. Without a backward glance, the husband and wife scurried away. Emilia watched them vanish into the distance. When she looked back, Colonel Rogers was hurrying away, “Where's he going?” she exclaimed.

“Erm, he said something about tobacco.” Jimmy said nervously, his eyes glancing at the retreating Rogers. Emilia rolled her eyes, “Did you want to go as well?” she asked.

Jimmy glanced at Myrtle, who nodded. “Well, we've got to know one another quite well,” Jimmy explained quietly, “we'd like to spend our last few hours together. If that's okay with you? We'll be back later of course.”

Silently, Emilia nodded. Jimmy and Myrtle were gone in a blink of an eye. With a sigh, Emilia sagged back to the ground and wrapped her arms round her knees, “I don't know.” she murmured, “Some people have no faith.”

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