The Bright Side.

Peter Smith has just found out he has a month left to live due to a lethal brain tumour.
He has also just found out that in less than a month, the human race will become extinct and that he has been chosen to be one of six humans to survive the approaching apocalypse. And who has saved him? E.I.P.F, the Earth Inhabitant Protection Front, a group of intergalactic environmentalists who want to save just one species.
And so, whilst also keeping his deadly secret from the aliens, Peter embarks on a quest to rally the chosen survivors, whilst avoiding Government Agents, the secret services, Satanists, Velociraptors, and a manic depressive Tyrannosaurus .


18. Chapter 18


Forty-eight hours . . . .


Philip drummed his claws together smugly, he was sat in the deep leather arm chair, peering through the thick glass at Mark. Eric and Charles both sat in the remaining chairs, each smiling thinly, just slightly baring their razor sharp canines.

It hadn't been a difficult task, finding out everything they could about Peter Smith, and what glorious information they'd found out. Information that would jeopardise the whole mission, Philip smiled even at the thought of the chaos. Chaos, the three brothers would expertly monopolise to their advantage.

Markxcyhpwogncials closed the file slowly and stared at the Velociraptors, each were wearing a smart dinner jacket, what for, he had no idea. But they had called him here for a very important reason, and now he had found out what it was. And he was not happy.

He frowned at Philip, nodding slowly, “Are you sure about this?” he asked.

“Oh quite sure,” Philip said smoothly, “we thought it our duty to make sure you knew everything about those who were going to continue Earth's legacy.”

“Call it good sport!” Charles said with a slight titter. The three dinosaurs hissed in their stupefied version of laughter. Mark was uncomfortable whenever he had to talk to the Velociraptors, he always felt like they were planning something, something that involved dinners. Clearing his throat nervously, Mark tucked the folder under his arm and nodded quickly. “Very well,” he said, “I thank you for this information. Now I'd better go and talk to Kurt and Lars.”

“Yes,” Eric said, narrowing his yellow eyes, “you'd better go do that.”

The three watched Mark shuffle away, nodding like a nervous chicken. Philip sighed as he disappeared. “Well, that will be one out of the way.” he stated.

“We could have kept him here,” Eric stated viciously, “one more wouldn't have spoilt our appetite.”

“No!” Philip snapped, “That Peter, he's a cynic, I fear he will be more a hindrance than an hordouerve. No, I know exactly who we need.”

He raised the decanter to his lips, then took a delicate sip from his brandy, “Oh yes,” he said smoothly, “I know exactly who we need.”


Kurt and Lars smiled. But it was no longer the optimistic grins they usually wore with ferocious pride. No. Now, it was the nervous smiles of people who've realised they may have made a mistake somewhere along the line. They were now, finally, realising that perhaps leaving the choice of survivors, up to luck, was maybe not the best of ideas.

But then again, it did cut down a lot of work for them, up until now that is. They stared at the six chosen individuals, and in all honesty, they didn't look as if they wanted to be there. In fact, they looked thoroughly miserable at being dragged from their home, totally unaffected by the fact their home was about to be utterly destroyed and they had in fact been miraculously saved. In fact, out of the six, only one person actually looked happy, and that was Anna Lacey. If Kurt and Lars actually knew the difference, they would say it wasn't the smile worn by someone grateful to have been saved, no, they would have said it was the smile worn by someone who knows they've got an opportunity to their advantage and there was no way they were going to miss it. Kurt nervously cleared his throat, he didn't need to, it was silent in the room, deadly silent. “Well,” the Collopian said slowly, “we now have all six survivors,”

The aforementioned survivors glared at one another with barely concealed contempt. “and there is now only two days left until all life on Earth is completely eradicated.” Kurt concluded. The two aliens smiled at the humans; they wouldn't have got a frostier reception by smiling at a glacier. It had been a busy week, they had spent gruelling hours trying to teach the humans basic survival skills for the new world they would be inhibiting, but whenever they come across a point that one of them wanted to explore thoroughly, it would spark a heated argument that usually lasted the whole day. The Collopians were nearing the end of their almost limitless patience. Lars cleared his throat, the chilly glares automatically shot to him, “The first thing we need to organise is -”

“Who's in charge?” Martha snapped. Peter rolled his eyes wearily, whilst the other humans glanced nervously at one another, Kurt and Lars reeled at the sudden exclamation. “I'm sorry?” Lars spluttered. “She's right.” Li stated leaning forward, “We need to sort out some kind of government.”

Martha frowned, “I wasn't talking about governments,” she said, “just who's going to be our leader.”

“Do you have any suggestions?” Kurt asked nervously, Peter once again felt his eyes rolling. The pair really did just ask for it. It was like asking an avalanche if it would mind slowing down, the answer was obvious and bound to chill your bones. Kelly sat back in her chair and folded her arms with a small smile playing on her lips, Peter doubted there was any humour in it, merely just an exercise to make sure the muscles still worked. “Well,” she said in an attempt to sound modest, “I did have one person in one mind.”

“Oh please enlighten us.” Anna said bitterly, as soon as Lacey and Kelly had seen one another, there had been the spark of hatred that existed between women who realised they had found an equal and didn't like it. “Me.” Martha said.

Peter sighed, now began the arguments.

Vladimir leant forward towards Martha, “You be beink capitalist or communist?” he asked in a slow voice, as if he had been preparing the question for some time. The Irish woman stared at him with the largest amount of loathing she could muster, “Neither.” she hissed, “I'm a feminist.”

“Oh dear,” the Russian murmured, turning pale.

Samson cleared his throat nervously, “I agree with Martha,” he said weakly, Peter had no excuse but to sigh, the man had been following Kelly around for days, ever since he had first seen her. The boy was like a puppy, and the more Martha kicked, the more he followed. And now he was willing to pass over leadership of the survival of mankind, to a raging feminist who had genocidal views on the male species. This time Li cleared her throat and leant forward, “Personally,” she said in a disconcertingly deep voice, “I have experience in politics, I feel that I am best suited to lead.”

“Oh yeah?” Martha sneered, “What experience?”

“I studied it at University.”

Peter allowed his aching head seek the comfort of his palms and groaned inwardly. He closed his eyes as the tsunami of arguments washed over the table, threatening to drown mankind's last hope for survival before they'd even started. Kurt and Lars watched over the ensuing chaos with the smiles worn by people who suddenly realise they're out of their depth. Kurt leant over to Lars, “Is this democracy?” he whispered from the corner of his mouth.

“It's difficult to tell,” Lars said, “it's either that, or an argument.”

“What's the difference?”

“The spelling.”

As the pair watched the ensuing arguments, Mark slithered into the room, staring around the room, finally his nodding eyes focused on Peter. His head clenched in his hands, oblivious to the entrance of the Nodder, Mark's eyes narrowed with suspicion, he then hurried over to Kurt and Lars. The pair glanced up at the Collopian. “Oh, hello Mark, how can we help you?” Lars asked politely.

Mark's eyes narrowed further. “Can I have a word?” he asked quietly, he eyes once again drifting towards Peter. Kurt and Lars glanced at one another, then nodded. “Of course,” Kurt said.

“In private.”

The pair shared another glance, then nodded. The pair rose from their chair, made quiet apologies to the six humans who were pointedly ignoring them, and followed Markxcyhpwogncials out into the corridor.

Peter sighed and looked up at his fellow survivors, it didn't surprise him that Kurt and Lars had left, if he could, he would have as well. But he was stuck here, even if it was only for another week. He was stuck with a group of people who seemed to enjoy the notion of arguing rather than surviving, a sudden, unexpected wave of patriotism took hold of Peter, punching him the gut like a bout of indigestion. These people were meant to save mankind from extinction? Amazingly, Peter felt himself jumping to his feet, thumping his fist on the table, this caused two things; one, the five people fell silent and stared at him in shock, and secondly, his hand started throbbing with nearly agonizing pain. “Look at you lot!” he roared, “We've been stuck on this ship for a whole week together, and so far, the only thing you've been able to agree on, is that everyone hates one another!”

Samson raised a hand slowly, “Actually -”

“Shut up!” Peter snapped, “Now look, I don't really like the human race, they're a bunch of idiotic, pathetic louts who can't tell the difference between three and four!”

“You're human as well.” Vladimir pointed out, folding his large arms.

“I'm different,” Peter stated, “I don't care who is in charge, personally we don't need some megalomaniac dictating how six people lead their lives on a brand new planet, it's stupid. I think we all need to focus on the important thing.”

Li stared around at the shocked faces surrounding her, it seemed they weren't going to ask, so she felt it rested on her. She leant towards the furious glare of Peter, “What's the important thing?” she asked. Peter opened his mouth to say that the important thing was that no one in the room actually knew how to start a fire without matches, something that would dramatically reduce their survival chances on a new world, when Samson butted in. “It's sex isn't it?”

All eyes rested on him with a new found venom, “Sex?” Martha said icily, staring witheringly at the comic book collector, “Yeah.” he said, feeling his face rapidly turn crimson. “Well, we do need to populate this planet, and there are six of us.”

“What are you trying to say?” Miss Chang asked, dreading the answer. Everyone in the room glanced at her cropped hair and her rippling, incongruous muscles nervously. “Well, there are three men -”

“Really?” Anna said bitterly, “Tell me when they turn up.”

“And three women.” Monroe concluded, his blush finally conquering the tips of his ears and claiming the body of Samson Monroe as the official property of embarrassment. Martha Kelly drew in her breath through clenched teeth, “If you think,” she said slowly and as politely as an African rhino on a rampage, “that I am going to allow you to objectify us women like that, you have another thing coming!”

“You refuse to be havink the sex with us?” Stroganoff asked frowning with disappointment.

“Of course I do!” Kelly roared. “I am not some sex slave from some far flung Asian province!”

“Watch it.” Li said coldly.

“Oh shut up macho man.” Martha spat.

Peter groaned and collapsed back into his chair. It had all gone horribly wrong, he knew exactly how it was supposed to go, he was supposed to have risen up and silenced them all with a glare, then rambled off some awe inspiring and motivational speech that would rouse them to work together as a team and overcome the obstacles they faced. But, he supposed that only worked if you wore a kilt with an extremely unbelievable Scottish accent. There was only one other person who wasn't joining in with the nonsensical arguing, and that was the American government Agent, Anna Lacey. Peter didn't trust her, then again he didn't trust anyone, but she least of all. He could tell she was up to something, maybe he ought to talk to Kurt and Lars about her. But then he remembered, there was only two days before the world ended, what's the worst she could do? Tell someone about it? Kurt and Lars were adamant that no one on Earth knew about what was going to happen and were never going to find out.

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