The Thoughts Of A Soldier

Okay, don't judge me, I have never posted this kind of thing on here before, I just thought I would re-write something that got a C/D when I wrote it at the beginning of the year in my English lesson. So...comment on it, like it, heck even favourite it if you want to. Any feedback is good so yeah. If you would like me to write some more things that are not to do with poetry then let me know ;)

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1. The Thoughts Of A Soldier

As I lay on my wire-net mattress, I only hear the sound of my breathing and the steady beat of my heart. I recall the events of this day, events that will surely haunt my dreams for as long as I live. As I close my eyes, all I can see are their faces. The faces of the men I have killed, the faces of men who -  just like me - had no say in whether they were to fight or flee. These men, who I have murdered, leaving their families incomplete. The families who are distraught over their loss and now seek revenge.

That is one thing my mind often wanders to after I have survived yet another battle. The families of the dead. How many have lost a son? How many have lost a brother, a husband or even a father? How many lives have I destroyed by killing a single man? 

Every night I pray to God, I pray for him to look after those poor souls. I do not bother to ask for His forgiveness any more, for I know that I do not deserve it. How can I possibly ask for forgiveness when I know I am to kill again? Is he testing me? If he is, then it must be clear to him that I am failing, for war is the work of the Devil, and all those fighting are his slaves.

War seems so much like Hell, so perhaps I have already died without realising it. Perhaps I am doomed to suffer like this for all eternity. Why does war exist? What are we fighting for? They told us we would be fighting for our King and for our country, but it doesn’t seem that way any more. It feels like we are a group of school children, fighting over a ridiculous toy. Why can’t we be reasonable? Why can’t we talk like civilised people? I think they are just protecting their pride, that they are trying to prove to each other who is the better man. 

If only they could see what I see, if only they could see what they were creating and how many have died because of this. If only they could see the families that have been torn apart. Would they stop even then? Somehow I don’t think so, if they cared for their countries as much as they claimed to, they would not have brought this upon us all.

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