Lightweight

A lightweight: Somebody that has been broken many times, and can break very easily.

Due to a past relationship, Darcy has turned into a sensitive and cautious young lady. Darcy already had more than enough troubles before she met her abusive boyfriend Andrew such as depression, low self-esteem and self-harm. So when she meets the kind hearted, beautiful and friendly Harry Styles she wonders if she deserves to have such a wonderful person in her life. Harry finds something beautiful about Darcy, and is very captivated by her. Harry makes it his mission to remind Darcy what it feels like to be loved, to feel worth something.
However Darcy is very fragile which requires her to be treated like a feather.
Or a lightweight.

Warnings: Self harm drugs, alcohol, sex, abuse and swearing.

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2. Chapter 1

“A-Andrew,” I murmured. “Please.”

Andrew looked up at me, the darkness in his orbs piercing into mine. The venal sneer on his repulsive face seemed to be mocking me. I knew pretty damn well that he liked it when I fought against him in situations like this; if anything it only egged him on. But it was an attempt – a weak attempt, sure, but still an attempt.

“Come on Baby,” Andrew spoke roughly. “You know you love it.”

I sighed at his comment, ignoring him. I knew that if I said anything I would regret it; I would have to pay the price.  

He stepped forward, removing all possible distance between us. Andrews’s sturdy hands gripped my frail upper right arm harshly, making it near impossible to escape from his hold on me. I squirmed under his solid hold, overlooking the fact that it made no difference. 

 “N-not here. W-w-wait until we get home,” I whispered, the words desperately shooting out of my mouth.

Andrew didn’t budge the slightest. His face looked emotionless, and showed no sign of sympathy towards me what so ever.

“P-please.”

Andrew’s sturdy grip on me shifted, progressing slowly towards my shoulder.

“Oh, Darcy.” The strength in Andrew’s hand increased, making his veins visible through his pale skin. “You know I have no self-control.”

His finger nails dug into the delicate skin of my shoulder, making me whimper in pain. Andrew’s bottom lip was caught between his teeth; his hazel orbs dropping to my plump lips. I began to tremble, knowing that what was about to happen next would not be pleasant.

“Don’t look so scared,” he whispered.  

Andrew’s hand left my shoulder, moving roughly to the back of my neck. His thumb trailed over my neck, rubbing cruelly in circular motions. I tensed as he dipped his head and drew it closer to my neckline. I could feel his hot breath growing closer towards me. His hand left my neck and swiftly gripped the back of my head; he clearly had no fear of hurting me. His parched lips soon came in contact with the skin of my neck and harshly began to suck. His dry lips felt scratchy against my skin.

I stood there motionless, not knowing what to do. It wasn’t until I opened my eyes that I had realized that they had even been closed in the first place.

I looked around us, observing the fact that we were indeed in public. Luckily for me, the car park we were currently standing in wasn’t too crowded, however there were a few people passing by, most of them giving me sympathetic glances. It was obvious that Andrew was holding me there against my will. Some of the glances seemed more sympathetic than others, and some people even looked as though they wanted to help me. But as soon as they saw Andrew, the looks on their faces morphed into fear. He had this rough look about him that was so unwelcoming and intimidating – unless you were invited, nobody dared to approach him.

Andrews tongue flickered across my skin before he began to suck as hard as he could – I could feel him drawing blood yet that didn’t cause him to hold back. His teeth soon came into the picture, grazing and nibbling at my delicate skin. I knew that the ‘love’ bite I would be left with would be nasty. Andrew was making his mark on me. And it would just be another not-so-friendly reminder that he had all the control on my life, and I had none.  

When Andrew finally pulled back, he stood there looking satisfied as he gazed at the mark he had left on me. He placed his thumb on my mark, softly rubbing it. I quickly brought my hand to the mark, wanting to feel the damage that my skin now was. I let my fingertips brush over the mark, stroking every bump, cut and dint carefully. The gentleness of my fingers somewhat eased the pain, but completely taking away the pain seemed near impossible.

“Now, be a good little girl and go buy me some cigarettes, will ya?” Andrew said. I knew that it wasn’t a question, but more of a command.

Pushing my tatty blonde locks from my face, I managed to bring myself to look up at Andrew – not directly in the eyes of course, but close.

I“I-I don’t have any money,” I stuttered.

All the muscles in my body seemed to tighten, bracing myself for the abusive gesture or comment I would receive in return of my somehow ‘rude’ statement.

Andrews’s facial expressions suggested that he was thinking – perhaps, pondering the question of if he, himself, had any money. Of course he did, I thought to myself. He had all of my money, and unless he had already spent it on drugs I know that he had a whole pocket full.

His chest rose as he inhaled a large amount of oxygen, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a fifty dollar bill, undoubtedly one of mine that he had stolen, and then his chest fell as he exhaled, handing me the bill.

 “Here,” he spat.

Andrew rolled his eyes as I took the note from his hand, and he responded as if a bolt of lightning had been shot through his body, pulling his arm back imediently.

“Th-thank you.”

“Don’t expect me to be picking you up though, you can walk home.”

My mouth hang open a little. I couldn’t say that I was shocked that he was making me walk home, but I had been hoping for the best so it was a little disappointing. The walk home was at least six kilometres – one kilometre was enough of a struggle for my scrawny little legs. I looked back up at Andrew, my eyes scanning his body, examining his large legs that were an immense contrast to mine, and that, without a hesitation would kick the shit out of me if I fought against his order.

I gulped down the lump in my throat.

“Oh um,” I quaked. “Yeah, n-not a worry. That’s fine.”

“It wasn’t a question,” Andrew snapped.

I watched as Andrew turned on his heel and stepped inside his Mercedes. My heart almost felt one hundred times lighter as he aggressively slammed the car door shut. He started the engine and sped onto the highway, taking no precautions to wear a seat belt.

I felt free as I watched his car drive off into the distance and out of my sight – sure, I was only free for an hour or so, but I was still free. I had a sudden urge to forget about buying the cigarettes and run – run, far, far away. Surround myself with new people, new sceneries, and start a fresh new life – a life without Andrew. And I would have run away right there and then, but I just didn’t have the guts. I knew that if I did, I would still always have to live with that constant fear that Andrew would find me again. And if Andrew did find me, I’m sure the consequences of running away would be worse than ever. My heart started to race just at the thought of the torture I would receive.

So instead of running away, I closed my eyes and let the cold breeze blow onto my face. My hair probably looked crazy, and I could feel it lightly smacking me in the face every so often, but I wanted to settle my pulse. I extended my arms out by my side, lifting them to mimic the wings of a bird, or an airplane. The wind in my ear was making whistling sounds, but it felt strangely relaxing. For a moment I even forgot that I was in a public place, and that the people walking past were probably staring at me, wondering what on earth this girl was doing. I couldn’t let that stop me from feeling this relaxed though, moments like these had become very rare. So, I pushed the fact that I was in a public place out of my mind. But that somehow just didn’t do it, so I decided to try something different. I made myself believe that I was the only person in the universe, and suddenly everything felt okay. It was like a massive weight had been lifted off my shoulders – all the stress and anxiety was gone. There was no Andrew, no fear – just me up against the world. And it was moments like these, which I wished would last forever.

And then suddenly, I could feel something flapping against my fingertips, light at first but becoming faster and faster before it harshly was snatched from my hand, separating itself from me. My eyes shot open.

“Fuck!” I cursed.

I watched as the money Andrew had given me floated away carelessly in the breeze. It looked so graceful, almost like a little butterfly. The way it freely drifted through the wind created a little envy inside of me; it had escaped from my finger tips with such ease – if a piece of paper had been able to escape that easily, then surely I should be able to.

A puff of air escaped my lips and I mumbled a quiet, “If only.”

Being my clumsy self, I fumbled over my own feet twice before I finally caught my balance and began to chase after the note.

“About fucking time,” I mumbled.

After dodging, swirling, zigzagging and seeming to go in almost every possible direction to avoid me, the note finally came into my reach, getting caught in a bush.

I extended my arm, attempting to reach for the note without falling. Suddenly, almost out of nowhere, a long, masculine arm snatched the note before I had time to grab it. I hadn’t even realized that anybody had been around me, obviously watching me before then. But then again, I probably stood out a bit. Some pale, feeble girl chasing after some money like an idiot isn’t something you can exactly walk pass without a second glance. It was also a great opportunity for some guy to score some extra cash, I mean; they probably looked at me and thought, Easy. She’s weak and pathetic; I can catch this before her effortlessly.

I’ve been robbed from some greedy man, I thought.  Great, just great. Andrew is going to kill me.

“Is this what you were after?” A raspy voice filled my ear. I looked up to see a tall boy with a cheeky grin plastered across his face, obviously mocking me. He held my dollar note in his large hands.

I opened my mouth to speak, however the words wouldn’t form. Should I yell at him for stealing my money? Or politely ask him to give it back? His body language was hard to read, making my job to respond harder.

His height was very intimidating; his body towering over my small one. I could see a few curls poking out of his beanie, and quite a few muscles hiding under his tee shirt. He seemed very strong, which scared me a little. His jaw line was tight, and his cheek bones looked as though they could cut through glass. His bone structure added to the intimidation he gave me quite a lot; however his dimples that surrounded his grin made him appear friendlier. He was very attractive, that I can’t deny.

“Here,” he extended his arm towards me. In his hand my money was placed.

I looked up at him, not sure of his intensions. His eyebrows rose, and that’s when I noticed his eyes.

His eyes were filled with a deep green that seemed to instantly triple my heart rate and I swear for a second I forgot how to breathe. In my nineteen years on this earth, I had never, ever, seen eyes as beautiful as them.

“Go on,” he insisted. “Take it.”

With hesitation, I slowly took the money from his palm.

I cleared the catch in my throat before mumbling a quiet, “Thanks.”

“Happy to help,” he responded. “I’m Harry, by the way.”

I looked at the ground briefly before bringing my eyes up to meet his; I could feel a small smile grow onto my lips as I saw that his were already fixed on mine.

“I’m Darcy.”

“Darcy, what a beautiful name,” Harry added and I could already feel the blood rushing to my cheeks. “Well, it’s lovely to meet you, Darcy. However, you should be a bit more careful with your money. Somebody could steal that.”

I giggled lightly at Harry’s playfulness. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Good.” Harry kicked his feet, ruffling the ground beneath him.  “Well, I’m heading into the shop. Would you be heading in that direction by any chance?” Harry smirked again and his eyes fluttered off the ground and back to me. His smirk grew a little wider on the left side of his mouth. “I’m new around here and not really sure of the area. I would love some company.”

I hesitated, not sure if I should be honest with my answer. The last encounter I had with somebody like this - with this cheerful attitude, was when I met Andrew and I soon discovered that that attitude was simply an act to draw me in and ruin my life. I mean, I was sure that Harry was lovely guy but then again, that’s what my false impression of Andrew was. I just didn’t want to risk it; my life couldn’t afford to get any shitter. But then again, I guessed my life couldn’t really get any worse than what it already was.

“Sure.”

Harry smiled, revealing his dimples that I couldn’t help but admire. “Great.”

I watched as Harry began to walk towards the shop, his long legs hidden underneath his ridiculously tight jeans. It didn’t look to me like he had any trouble finding the shop, as he walked in exactly the right direction of the shop. I had a pretty good feeling that Harry was very capable of getting to the shop alone. I mean, he seemed like he was on the right track before we had our little encounter. Surely, it wasn’t that hard that he needed me as a guide or an accompanist or whatever you wanted to label it. The shops were only a small walk from the car park, and weren’t big enough to get lost in, which lead me to become a little suspicious.

“You coming?” Harry inquired, his face lit by his smile as he spun around on his heels.

I paused.

Harry put one hand on hip, and tapped his right food playfully, intending that he was growing impatient. And just like that, Harry had convinced me that it was okay to go with him. His good-humoured, friendly nature was just so welcoming. And maybe I would regret this later, but for now he had completely loured me in.

“Sorry,” I puffed a little after catching up with Harry.

“You better be,” he said, giving my hip a slight nudge. For a second, my heart picked up and I panicked, mistaking his playful action for aggression. My feet stumbled as I backed away from him.

Harry’s face looked full of worry. “I’m sorry. I-I didn’t mean to frighten you. I was just joking around.”

Darcy, you idiot.

Of course he was just playing around; not every single man is out to get you. But I couldn’t help it; it’s a part of my nature to act out and look at everything from a negative perspective. I’ve had to assume everything was a negative. Andrew is a negative.I’m cautious, I’m careful; I have to think about everything from the worst possible scenario. It’s just another terrible trait that has been brought on by Andrew. And just like everything else in my life, the worst thing about it is that I have no power over it at all. Without over thinking and being careful, my life would be in an even more mess than what it already is. Yet, I’ve had to learn this the hard way.

It was summer, not long after I had even met Andrew, really. We had just gotten home from dinner, and Andrew had placed his keys on the table before wondering off into another room which I had thought nothing of. I sat down on his couch, making myself at home and flicked on the TV.  I could hear some shouting coming from the room that Andrew was held in, so I simple turned up the volume on his TV. But still, that wasn’t enough to cover up the screaming. I started to worry, and at that point I thought that Andrew and I were in a loving relationship, so being the good girlfriend I was, I turned off the TV and wondered down Andrew’s halls, tracing the voice. After deciding that the voice was coming from Andrew’s bedroom, I carefully turned the knob and let myself inside. There stood Andrew with a face as a bright as a tomato carelessly swearing and yelling into his phone. It was a side of him that I had never seen before; so different from my usual, loving boyfriend. I decided that it was my job, as his girlfriend to calm him down.

“Andrew,” I said in my most soothing voice. “Honey, it’s okay. Whatever the problem is, I’m sure it’s fine.”

Andrews face turned, and the look on his face was something along the lines of disgust. He starred at me for a while, with the same sickened look on his face. I heard the person on the other side of the phone - who now looking back, was probably one of his drug dealers – mumble a few things but Andrew carelessly hang up, whatever troubles he was having disappeared, because apparently a bigger problem had formed.

“Who,” Andrew sneered. Andrew took a few steps towards me which were soon followed by many others.  I could feel his every breath blowing onto my face. “The fuck do you think you are?”

“Baby,” I said, trying to calm him down.

“No!” He fumed. “Don’t speak, you useless little shit! It was bad enough that you interrupted my conversation, but now you are trying to deny your rudeness?”

I stood there shaking; a reaction that I’m still not quite sure was caused by the deafening screaming or the shock of this whole situation.

And then he did it; the one action that started this one man war. He spat, right in my face.

I suddenly felt myself jump at the sudden return to reality. My breath caught in my throat, and I could feel my body starting to develop that numb feeling that I had become so accustomed to.

“Darcy?”

My eyes were greeted by a tall, curly headed boy standing in front of me.

“I’m really sorry. Are you okay? Do you want me to leave?”  Harry spoke, his voice full of concern.

My mouth opened but it took a moment for the words to escape. I swallowed the harsh lump in my throat, attempting to collect my composure.  “I-its fine”

“I honestly didn’t mean to-“

“No. Don’t worry about it,” I said, forcing the corners of my mouth to grow into a smile.

Harrys face seemed to relax a tiny bit, yet his features were still quite tense. “Are you sure?”

“Certain,” I grinned.

Harry’s lips eased and the worry-lines placed at the top of his forehead disappeared, however his eyebrows still showed a hint of concern.

I began to walk swiftly in front of him. “Are you coming or not?”         

I turned around to Harry, who now was happily jogging towards me to catch up.

“Who’s the slow coach now?” I giggled.

“Is that a challenge?” Harry chuckled.

I stood there, not sure of how I should respond. The only certain emotion that was displayed on my face was a clear smirk. Social awkwardness was not exactly one of my most treasured traits. I decided to play it safely.

“I don’t know? Is it?” I mockingly snickered.

“Sounds like one to me.”

I tightened my eyebrows, raising awareness to my confusion, which Harry lightly laughed at.

“First one to the shop.”

“You want to have a race? Doesn’t that seem kind of childish?”

“Child is my middle name. Well, not really, it’s Edward. But that isn’t the point. I am challenging you to outrun me. It’s impossible.”

I opened my mouth that was currently displaying a wide smile. I let out a surprised laugh. “I am not racing yo-“

But before I could even finish my dispute, Harry was already running.

“Fuck it,” I whispered to myself.

After only a few metres, I was nearly out of breath. Those cigarettes defiantly aren’t healthy for you. 

I began to slow down the pace, attempting to relax my lungs. Harry was well in front of me by the time he had reached the finish mark.

“Told you that you can’t outrun me!” he shouted, teasingly.

I rolled my eyes and continued to walk as swiftly as possible. When I finally caught up, I gave him a tantalized nudge. “That wasn’t fair. You have longer legs.”

Harry chuckled loudly, intending to make it clear to me that he found my reasoning amusing. “I don’t want to hear your excuses, Darcy.”

“Oh, shut up,” I laughed.

I expected an insult in return, but after a minute the only thing to fill my ears was silence. I looked up at Harry. Plastered across his beautiful face was a pearly white smile.

“What?” I asked.

“You have a cute laugh.”

I could feel my cheeks begin to burn up as I pushed the lose strand of hair away from my face, and tucked it behind my ear. “Thank you.”  

Harry replied with nothing but a smile.

The atmosphere was quiet, however not an awkward quietness, it more of an intense silence. I’m not exactly sure why that was. Maybe, it was because of the stare he was holding on me.

Normally, if some man was staring at me I would either be seriously crept out, or insecure. However, Harry managed to deliver a somehow comforting stare that filled me with a sense of tenderness.

I glanced at the ground and then up, quickly at Harry. His green eyes were already looking at my mouth. He glimpsed at the ground and then shook his head, which seemed to bring him back to life.

“Anyway,” he said, breaking the silence. “Shall we?”

“We shall,” I giggled.

He extended his arm to the door, and placed his other hand gently on my lower back, leading me into the shop.

“What do you need?” He asked me, walking over to the trolleys.

“A pack of cigarettes,” I replied.

“You smoke?” He asked.

“The cigarettes aren’t for me, they’re for my boyfriend.” I almost cringed, hearing myself call Andrew my ‘boyfriend.’ “But yes, I do smoke.”

“Boyfriend?” Harry stammered. His happy face transformed into more of a startled one.

Harry swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat, as he tried to push away the obvious shock in his face. He probably thought that I would be insulted by the fact that he was so stunned by the thought of me having a boyfriend, but really who could blame him. I’m just as shocked as anyone; I mean look at me, I’m disgusting. And even if I do have such a horrible boyfriend, he still wants me, and I just can’t wrap my head around that. Nobody in the right mind would ever fall for somebody as broken as me. I’m useless. Nobody had a worse opinion one me, than me.

“Yeah,” I mumbled, trying to put on the most contented face I had to offer, just like I always did whenever people asked about my relationship with Andrew. I wouldn’t dare share what really went on with them, not only because if I did I would have to pay, but because it was plain humiliating.

By the way Harry looked at me then, it was obvious that he had seen the discomfort awash in my face, even though I had attempted to hide it, I knew it was there. So, being the polite boy he was, he considerately changed the subject.

“Smoking’s not good for you, you know?” Harry remarked.

“Of course I fucking know that. I’m not stupid. It’s kind of hard to miss that fact, it’s everywhere,” I wanted to say, but instead I simply said, “I know,”

“You shouldn’t do it,” he replied.

“I know, but I don’t care,” I huffed.

I turned my face to the ground, trying to look for a way out of this conversation, because I already knew that it was leading into dangerous territory - territory where I start actually share how I feel about things.

“I care,” he responded.

“You don’t really care, nobody does,” I thought, but instead I muttered, “You only just met me.”

“That doesn’t matter.” He let out a quiet laugh, “It would just be a shame to see such a young, pretty girl’s life go to waste.”

If I was normal, this would be the part where the blood would rush to my cheeks and I start blushing. But I’m not normal, and I knew that every word escaping Harry’s lips was a lie. I’m the opposite of pretty, and my life is already a waste of space. Besides, you can’t kill something that’s already dead. And I am dead, on the inside.

Everything was quiet again for a while. Harry grabbed a trolley and I silently walked beside him as we strolled down the aisles, collecting groceries for Harry and my pack of cigarettes for Andrew.  The atmosphere had developed a gloomy mood that appeared unbreakable, until we got outside.

Harry turned to me with a huge grin plastered across his face, pointing at the trolley. “Have you ever ridden in one of these?”

I laughed at just another one of Harry’s childish comments that seemed to becoming more and more regular.

“I did when I was a kid, but I haven’t for years,” I answered.

“Well it’s settled then,” Harry broke the grip that he had held on the trolley and walked over to me.

I could tell that he was holding back his giggles, and I could see a glimpse of mischief in his eyes.

“Come here,” he spoke, before wrapping his long arms around my slender little waist. He drew my body closer so that I could feel the length of his body against mine. The temperature he carried matched his personality immensely; so warm and lovely to be around. Harry used the enormous strength in his arms to pick me up. I opened in my mouth as my feet left the ground- a reflex action that I did when I was shocked, or startled.

“You are so light,” Harry commented, with a smile on his face and screwed up eyebrows; perhaps shocked by how light I actually was.

I could feel my face drop a little at his remark, as my insecurities filled my brain with hateful messages.

Harry continued to lift me higher, so that our faces were now at an even level – which is where I had the chance to admire his astonishing eyes once again. Our breath both grew a little heavier, which normally would have made me uncomfortable, but my eyes just couldn’t seem to trail off Harry’s gorgeous orbs. Harry eventually broke the tension with a giggle; as he must have been able to tell that I was so indiscreetly staring at him.

“And in we plop!” Harry delicately plopped me inside the trolley; probably trying not to scare me again after the incident from earlier. 
“W-what are you doing? What’s happening?” I managed to say through all my uncontrollable giggles.

“We’re going for a little ride,” Harry smirked before using his upper body strength to lift himself up and then jump into the trolley.

I twisted my neck around so that Harry was visible as he sat behind me. He was bending over and using his arms to push the trolley towards the nearest steep hill.

“Oh my gosh,” I giggled. “Harry, no.”

He looked up at him and rolled his eyes. His dimples were surrounding his heart shaped lips that were curled up into a beautiful smile.

Once we had reached the top of the hill, he pulled his arm back into the trolley. I turned around, all I could see in front of me was the hill we were about to go down. I know that normally I would be feeling a heap of anxiety in my chest but Harry had tightly secured his arms around my waist. They were wrapped around me, implying a sense of protection.

“Here we go,” Harry whispered into my ear. I could feel his warm breath on the back of my neck, sending shivers down my spine.

Harry rocked us forward, and down we went.

The cold air was hitting my face at such a rapid past.  The adrenaline overruled the nippiness of the weather. The world around me was a blur and the only thing that was going through my ears and into my brain was the wind passing me, and Harry’s constant Woo-hooing. And in that moment, I felt a glimpse of something that I hadn’t felt in what seemed like forever. Happiness.

 

A/N: I hope you really like this chapter. I’m sorry for any punctuation or spelling errors because I didn’t proof read which I almost never do. 

Please leave feedback because I love reading comments and I reply to everyone! 

Thank you for reading xx 

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