Horribly funny joke book

This is an amazing joke book. This is written by Me Sabitha (♥MiaFlora♥), my brother Karthik (karthik16). I hope you love these jokes we have included and laugh your heads off literally.


1. Transport

1.Why doesn't the van not play football?

Because he did not have any boots.

2.What did the train say to the passenger?

Let me go off at this stop.

3. What did the  boy say to the van?

I think I am going to be car sick.

4. What did the van say to the muffin?

You look delicious, hop into my boot.

5.What did the motorbike say to the horse?

Come on, hop on. I will give you a ride, and it will be faster too.

6.What do you get if you cross a motorway with a flock of sheep?
A flock of dead sheep.

7. I walked into a car showroom last night.
I said to the salesman, "My wife would like to talk to you about the Volkswagen Golf in the window."
He said, "We don't have a Volkswagen Golf in the window."
I said, "You do now."

8. I nearly got hit by a woman driving a car this morning, but luckily I jumped out of the way just in time.
Into the road.

9. You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen.
It said, 'Parking Fine.'
So that was nice.

10.Why couldn't the polar bear fit into the car?

Because it was too big.

11. Major car collision on Spaghetti Junction: 12 injured, 4 pasta way.

12. Did you hear about the man who opened a yacht showroom?
Sales went through the roof.

13. I saw a sign today that read: Tiredness kills, take a break.
So I pulled over and went to sleep.
When I woke up I felt great and was ready to drive again.
I was 5 hours late for work though.

14. I let my wife take me out for a drive in the countryside today. We were going down a quiet country lane when she said, "Shall we do something we've never done in the car before?"
I said, "Go on then, bang it into fourth gear."

15. I saw a lorry turned over and ablaze today. The driver was trapped in the cab and as flames began to lick at his feet, he screamed, "Quick, there's an extinguisher in the back."
As I walked away with it I thought, "What a generous bloke."

16. When I was leaving the pub yesterday I decided that I was in no condition to drive home.
But then I realized I couldn't trust my judgement. I was drunk.

17. I went to visit my wife in hospital after she got run over by a car.
She said she felt tyred and exhausted.

18. I was at baggage reclaim at the airport and some Green lunatic was standing on the luggage carousel ranting and raving about carbon footprints and air travel.
I said, "Mate, just get off my case will you?"

19. I walked into the newsagents and asked if they sold Oyster Cards.
The cashier said, "For the bus?"
I said, "No, it's my oyster's birthday."

20. I hate it whenever I'm in the car and I see one of those road signs that says "Draw Bridge Ahead" and I don't have a pencil.

Made by Sabitha aka (♥MiaFlora♥)

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