Fatal Mistakes

Clare has been turned into a vampire, the greatest monster of them all... yet, she hates herself for it. Tries her best to stay human. When the sun burns her, their stakes chase her, how could that ever work? In fact, trying to retain her humanity could be her one fatal mistake.

This story began as one I wrote over a year ago (the first 12 chapters are from then) and I think my writing has improved since then. Let me know what you think.

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2. Chapter Two

Even though I knew that the sun was one of the only things that could kill me now, that its rays would light me up in seconds,  I still wanted to go with him. I wanted to be able to take Dan's hand and run as fast as I could away from here, to some far off place where humans could live free. More than anything, I wanted to keep him safe,but to be do so I'd have to tell him what I had become. Then, all he would see is a monster baiting her prey. 

"So, are we going now?" Dan asked impatiently. I looked back at the sunrise, and wanted to run so badly; bury myself in blankets and hide under the bunk beds in the old bomb shelter like I had every other day. It was almost too late for me to leave. To walk into direct sunlight would be-

"Are we going, Claire?" 
I turned back towards him, and shook my head. The sun was almost up, and the party was dying, people beginning to head back towards their rooms to pick up their backpacks ready to scavenge for food. 
"I think we should wait, go tomorrow. You can get some supplies? I'm feeling a little ill."

I did my best to avoid his gaze, staring at the buffet table behind us.
"Ill, again?" Dan laughed, his voice far too loud. If someone heard him, they might put two and two together. After all, he had always trusted me too easily. He'd never have even spotted the signs.  

"I think I'm coming down with something, I'm feeling a little dizzy." I held onto the wall, almost theatrically, hoping he would believe me.  

"Claire, don't lie to me." He was angry, though at what I couldn't tell. Had he realised?  
"I'm not lying!" The roar was out of my mouth before I could stop myself, and the wave of anger that burst out of me scared me. 

I raised a hand to my mouth, trying to force down the anger and the thirst, and everything that might show that I was no longer human. No longer like the scared boy who stood opposite me, stepping backwards as if  I might bite.

"Claire?" He stepped further back, almost into the corridor then. I could feel a faint burning sensation on my arms now, barely noticeable yet. I glanced out of the corner of my eye at the sun. It looked so beautiful, but it was a sight now forbidden to me. I stepped forward, into the windowless corridor, and closed the door behind me. 

"Claire?" His voice rose an octave in fear, as I walked closer towards him.

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