Fatal Mistakes

Clare has been turned into a vampire, the greatest monster of them all... yet, she hates herself for it. Tries her best to stay human. When the sun burns her, their stakes chase her, how could that ever work? In fact, trying to retain her humanity could be her one fatal mistake.

This story began as one I wrote over a year ago (the first 12 chapters are from then) and I think my writing has improved since then. Let me know what you think.

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1. Chapter One

 I walked into the room, and tried to avoid looking at anyone else, in case they realized exactly what was wrong with me: what made the simple sight of that New York sunrise fill me with dread and want to run and hide. People were talking all around me about the fun they had had this week, away from all the monsters that thrive in the darkness and shadows. They didn’t seem to understand, that perhaps seeing the monsters and having to run for your life wasn’t the worst thing. The worst thing was knowing that they had already killed you.

 

“Claire!” I heard a voice call out, barely audible over the music and celebrations. I spun around, to see my old best friend, Jack waiting for me at the buffet table. Suppressing a groan, I walked towards him, knowing that if I didn’t, he would wonder why. It wasn’t the thirst that made everything so difficult now, although actually entertaining the idea of killing him made me sick to my stomach, it was the fact that I had to hide it all.

 

“Dan.” I nodded in greeting. There wasn’t much to say, after all. Self conscious, I looked down at my hands, half covered by my too-long sleeves, and tried not to focus on the alabaster white they truly were under the many layers of foundation I was wearing.

 

“Isn’t this great?” he said, gesturing towards the rows and rows of food, as he piled sausages onto his already overflowing plate. I tried to smile, thinking of the times when just the sight of so much food would have made my mouth water. 

“Sure, I guess. It won’t last long though, you know that. Maybe we should get going?” John stared at me, almost dropping his plate as he moved away from the table, and led me towards the door.

 

“Leave this?”
“Well, yeah. You know, this is technically illegal. The Control of -”
“The Control Act of 2283 specifically forbids the meeting of three or more Type Two humans.” He rolled his eyes, still thinking that I was joking. I wasn’t. I needed to leave this place, especially since the sun was coming up and I  still didn’t know what that would do to me. Already, I had spent too many days feigning flu and sickness, then miraculously  recovering at dusk. Soon, it would be obvious what was wrong with me. 

 

“We’ve been lucky so far, Dan. I just have a feeling-”

Dan leant forward, speaking in a harsh whisper. “You’re wrong. Everything’s fine. We’ve stayed here longer than a week before, and nothing happened. You’re just paranoid, after what happened to Macie.”

I stepped back, stung, and more than a little angry that he was bringing what happened to her into this. Especially since the exact same thing had happened to me just a few days ago. They bit me, they destroyed me, and then they made me just like them. 

"Look, can we at least leave tomorrow?" 
Dan raised an eyebrow.
"We can leave now, if you'd rather?"  

I looked out at the sun, just beginning to show on the horizon, and shivered. 

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