It's like a diary but it's not

It's like a diary but it's not is about the life of James Duke. He writes all of his events in a book describing his feelings about his annoying friend Harry, his cow of an ex-girlfriend Susan, his maniac mother and his loving girlfriend Mary.


20. 9th January

One day in and already that beast has slashed my hand, he pierced right through my skin causing it to bleed, and I had to wrap a bandage around it because there were no plasters big enough.

James vs. Fluffy

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Mary said “What did you do to him to make him scratch you?” What did I do? I did nothing I just reached for the remote because he was sitting right next to it and the little shit scratched me. Unbelievable, that cat is and evil genius; he is all sweet, angelic and cute when he is with Mary but when he is with me he turns into a  Familiar, possessed by the devil. Mary put a little hat on it and said he looked just like the cat in the hat, I wanted to shove the little beast into the hat, bung it in the washing machine and put it on spin cycle. Mary went to bed round about 10:00 pm I was watching the rest of ‘Saving Private Ryan’, when it finished I was ready to climb into bed, when I saw the little rat lying down smack-bang in the middle on my side of the bed, I tried to move it but when I lightly touched it’s fur it suddenly pounced up hissing at me, it’s teeth just waiting to rip into my skin. I’m getting kicked out of my bed by a temperamental tabby.

James vs. Fluffy

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