It's like a diary but it's not

It's like a diary but it's not is about the life of James Duke. He writes all of his events in a book describing his feelings about his annoying friend Harry, his cow of an ex-girlfriend Susan, his maniac mother and his loving girlfriend Mary.


1. 19th October

It’s getting colder, the leaves are turning amber, the days are shorter and the nights are longer so now there are fewer hours in the day. Halloween is on its way, children dressing up as ghouls and gangs of teenagers in hoods terrorising the streets after the stroke of Twelve, a night where trick or treat happens the treat being that you get sweets the trick is your house getting T-peed if don’t you give them any or if you give them an apple not a toffee, caramel or chocolate, an apple just a lousy piece of healthy fruit. My friend Harry is hosting a stupid Halloween party on the 31st and persistently invited me and my girlfriend Mary to tag along for a few hours ranting the same old lines from a dusty old book titled 'How to get your mate to do what you want' he repeatedly  said "Come on James it won’t be the same without you" the exact same thing he said to me to make me go to  his brothers stag night but he was too be busy talking to the stripper he hired to even talk to me or buy me a beer (surprisingly they are going out now her name is Rose she has glistening red hair, Harry has always had a thing  for red heads).

After saying no for the millionth time Mary set the record straight and told me to stop being a grump and go (I've only just been able to make Mary give me another chance after I kissed another girl in front of her!  but it went no further than that it wasn't my fault she had way to much to drink and I was in too much of a shock to do anything about it, but I’m not going to risk it) so I reluctantly agreed to attend Harry's party its fancy dress, if there is one thing I hate more than ‘Big Brother’ it is fancy dress! Harry said he is going as Harry Potter (that’s creative!) and Rose is going as Jenny. Mary insisted we do a matching couples too she wanted to be Mary Poppins and wanted me to be Bert, Mary Poppins isn't even scary, it’s Halloween for Pete’s sake, I  told her "No you forced me to go so I choose what we go as, I’m going as  Zombie because when I’m at that party  I will be completely bored and make a lot of groaning sounds but I’m not being Bert" of course Mary being a women she had to have a comeback like all women, she said  "Well if you're going to be like that then we just might as well go as a couple who have broken up" and what women also do is make men sleep on the sofa.

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