It's like a diary but it's not

It's like a diary but it's not is about the life of James Duke. He writes all of his events in a book describing his feelings about his annoying friend Harry, his cow of an ex-girlfriend Susan, his maniac mother and his loving girlfriend Mary.


12. 15th December

10 more days till Christmas: I can’t wait! I can’t wait for this expensive, hectic, crazy holiday to be over. Speaking of crazy, we’re going round my parents for Christmas, Mary arranged it today I really wanted a quite Christmas this year just her and me, but instead there will be a big Christmas eve party a massive turkey dinner on Christmas day all hosted by my hair-brained Mother. When I was young, I used to enjoy my mums Christmas Eves parties, she always used to lay out some delicious mini desserts and I nicked them all. I used to enjoy dancing with my mum, but I didn't enjoy it when my Nan pinched my chubby cheeks and gave me one of her wet kisses (it was like being kissed by a St Bernard), she always had that old people smell on her, no matter how many times she coated herself with perfume she still had that elderly musk around her. It’s amazing how things change when you hit puberty, one year your celebrating the magic of Christmas, the next year you realize that Santa isn't real, and that his image is just exploited and used as a marketing product during Christmas. You then ask a philosophical question such as “If Santa is supposed to give everyone their presents then how comes we have to shop for them?” to prove your point. You then realize that all the cookies you left for Santa were eaten by your Father (which explains why he gains weight during Christmas time) so decided not to leave him any and eat them yourself.

When I turned into a teenager, I used to hate my mums Christmas Eve parties. I was just stuck in house surrounded by a bunch of drunken old people. I was the oldest of my families younger generation, all my cousins were still children, they only one close to my age was Dave but ‘Mr Perfect’ always joined in with the celebrations and I wasn't old enough to drink.

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