I failed her (True story... My story...)

I use to know a girl, back in year 9 at high school. Her name was Megan and I couldn't help her. I tried and tried but it wasn't enough. Sometimes I wonder if it WAS my fault. I failed her. I failed the girl I loved. I want you to keep in mind, as you read this, that this is a true story. This is the story on how I lost the love of my life to bullying and cruelty and eventually death.

<3 Megan, I'll miss you forever baby. <3

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5. Megan's Diary...

I found Megan and the note, but after coming back to the tree I also found her diary. The more I read on the more anguish began to overwhelm me. I began to realize why she had done it and that I could've helped her. The following paragraphs are entries I read describing her pain.

 

Date:20/10/09 (The beginning)

I don't understand. What is Samantha's problem? Why does she hate me so much? If I've remembered anything from my late brother Tom, it is that it will just get worse. He told me that when I began to get bullied and primary school 5 years ago. He had said that I needed to stand up to them if I was to enjoy school.

 

Date:03/11/09

It didn't work. When I stood up to them they just laughed in my face and beat me behind the bike shed. Now I have a whole new set of bruises lining my body, where they punched and kicked me. It hurts so much, but I don't let it show. Not in front of Tanner. I will not drag him into this. I don't want him hurt. Luckily there are no bruises visible thanks to my school uniform  Everyday I wonder to myself: Why do they do it? Why to me? What have I done? I began to cut my wrists seven days ago... It helps you know. I watch the blood flow from me and I imagine that my troubles do the same, but I know they wont. Tanner noticed the cuts but I threw him off the scent by saying I caught my wrist on something sharp this morning. Not totally a lie... I daren't cut anywhere visible now. I mostly do it on my legs, because I wear long, black, baggy trousers. No-one will know. No-one will ever know.

 

Date:09/11/09

It hurts badly. This time they cornered me in the bathroom and smashed my head against the sink, leaving me sobbing on the floor in my own blood. I ended up with a broken nose and had to go the hospital. Tanner came too and when he asked what happened I was tempted to tell him everything. But I couldn't do it. It would only mean more torture for me and him. In the end I ended up telling him I accidently ran into a wall. He believed me, thank God. I couldn't stand it if anything happened to him. I love him too much, but he will never know that.

 

Date:20/11/09

I hate them. I hate them all. I know people say hate is a strong word, but even they would use it against Samantha and her crew after what they did. It was show and tell day. I know it sounds babyish but we had to do it. It still sucked. I had brought in one of my most precious possesions in. A picture of my family. They died in a car crash 4 years ago. My mum, my dad, my big brother and big sister. I was only 11 and we had gone camping. It turned out dad had forgotten to pack the tents so we had to go home. He and mum had started to fight. Then we passed a sign that showed Alton Towers was only a couple miles away and I started to pester them to go there instead. I distracted them and they didn't turn back in time to see the lorry and veer out of it's path. Crash. I tried to wake up my mum and dad. They didn't wake. My sister wouldn't wake either. My brother was still choking on his blood when he held hims arms out to me. I hugged him and he wraped his arms around me. "I love you Megan," He said. "We all do. Goodbye lil' sis." Then he didn't move. Sirens started to wail and I got move to hospital. I never saw them in person again. All I had was the picture I brought to school and another copy at home. The teacher and Tanner were called out of the room to talk to the head about something. Thats when Samatha and her gang came over to me. She stole the picture out of my hand and looked at me. "Your brother's a cutiepie," She said. I had clenched my fists in anger then realised what I had done. I had let her know that  her comment bothered me. She smiled and, with triumph in her eyes, she tore the picture in half and threw it in the bin. Today was the day I broke.

 

Date:18/12/09

They have stopped. They have finally left me alone. I don't know why, but I know better than to question it. I will just carry on with my life. They haven't bothered me at all since Samantha ripped up the picture. Thank God they have stopped. I couldn't take any more.

 

That was only the first few entries she had written. In the entries after the one she wrote on the 18/12/09 she found out how wrong she was... There was much more to follow. Before I read the entries I had no idea why she kept the secrets she did from me. But now I know. We both had feelings for each other that we didn't know about. I wished we had told each other sooner. Then she would've had something to fight for; our love. She didn't tell me because she wanted to protect me. Really I should've been me doing the protecting.

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