I failed her (True story... My story...)

I use to know a girl, back in year 9 at high school. Her name was Megan and I couldn't help her. I tried and tried but it wasn't enough. Sometimes I wonder if it WAS my fault. I failed her. I failed the girl I loved. I want you to keep in mind, as you read this, that this is a true story. This is the story on how I lost the love of my life to bullying and cruelty and eventually death.

<3 Megan, I'll miss you forever baby. <3

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14. I didn't think

I know you are all going to hate me the moment I publish this chapter, but Tanner has given me permission to do this.

First of all, you all know me and most likely hate me for what I did, but if I could take it back, I would do so a thousand- a million times over until everything was like it used to be, but, even then, it still wouldn't be enough.

I'm Samantha and please, read what I have to say before hating me even more. I swear, I never meant for it to go that far. Megan hid her emotions and, well, I was just too stupid and blind back then and I was a total b*tch. There is no amount of apology or excuses for what I did. Even now, I'm trying to make it up to Megan by taking over the charity jobs she used to do. I visit her every day and it kills me inside every time I look at where she lay. It kills me inside every time Tanner tells me that story about when Megan, who was only eight, carried a squirrel that had been hit by a car a mile to the nearest vet. Her parents had been worried sick until they were called from the vet and were told what happened, before collecting her.

Megan was a girl you only met once in a lifetime and it's my fault she's gone, so I live my life, not for me, for her. She changed me and saved me from myself, and so I thank her, I praise her for saving me. Megan, you were the best. Nothing I will say can change what happened all those years ago, but it might make you realize that I have changed. I'm not who I used to be and I have Megan to thank.

You might have heard that Megan's house was robbed a couple months ago. I'm sure Tanner has already said, but Tanner and I worked together to catch the robbers. I swore to Megan that I would help Tanner with any of his problems and so far I have kept that oath.

Please, at least consider the fact that I have changed and am doing things for the better now. Call me anything you like, I admit I deserve it, but I ask of you one thing: Don't do what I did. At the time, the reasons I had made sense; I was taking out my emotions on someone else. When Megan died, all I saw were excuses, not reasons. When you do bully, everything you do seems like a dream... A nightmare... Unreal. But when the consequences show, it brings you back into real life and you realize, you did this. You ended someone's life. I know I said it before, but I'll say it again;

I'm not asking you to forgive me, only to accept the fact the I have changed.

The very best to you,

Samantha

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