I will get over her. Somehow.

Manav. He loved Neha, but Neha was already in a relationship with Deb. Deb, that son of bitch, happened to study in the same college as Manav. Neha loved Deb, and that drived Manav nuts. This felt so right to him - being in love with Neha. He had never felt this way before, not that he had an event to compare it with. It was his first, and he thought Neha is the one; he still does.

But this cannot go on forever, can it? If Neha loved Deb, Manav had to be practical. He mayn't be able to make it her heart. He must try getting over her, somehow!

Govind, a friend of his, whom Manav talked to about Neha all the time. He understood what Manav felt, and what he must be going through. He wanted to talk Manav into trying to get over her, and forget her.

This is a conversation between Govind and Manav.

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1. Get Over Her.

“Sorry, I haven’t been able to get in touch with you, like, for days now… was busy with the fest thing and the good thing is we won the first prize,” Govind was talking to me for the first time after  THE disaster - knowledge of Neha being in a relationship with Deb.  

I knew he was busy so I had left a message with him on facebook describing in short what had happened.   “Ya, heard that from Alok a few days back… Good for you,” I replied.  

“When did you get to know about all this and from whom?”

“On  6th of November… heard it from Neha only. Somewhere inside, I had a doubt if the guy was Deb, now confirmed; feeling like shit right now. Had never cried in front of anyone but couldn’t hold up my salty friends to flow when I was with Aniket.”

 “I can’t imagine what you must be feeling right now, ” he replied, with a hint of regret. 

“She said his name with a smiley. I felt like my head being chopped off my body that very moment.”  

“How could Neha do such a thing?”

 “You are saying that like she had an option to choose between me & Deb, and she chose him. It’s not like it was her fault; she doesn’t even know that I like her. Guess, I will always be a coward and a loser.”

 “Come on! No one can be that dumb to notice, especially when someone texts you regularly asking about their well-being; when someone does something special like you did on her birthday; when someone cares for someone so much; she knows that you like her alright. And you are not a loser.”  

“Yeah, Yeah! Whatever! What happened can’t be undone anyway! And now that I think of, Anshu (her ex) was way better than what Deb can never be! He is smart, has a personality and talented too. Now, Neha is stuck with a Douchebag,” I said with a tinge of irritation now. “She was denying to tell about Deb to me adding that she would tell me some other time for sure; she promised she would, but I didn’t understand the point of hiding the name and keep it for some other time. What’s the point in hiding if you are gonna tell eventually, right?”

 “Maybe because you guys are of same college, she wanted to keep it from you for some time.”

“Yeah, like, I would be in my college for the next 3 and half years, so would she keep that from me till then? I think I’m starting to lose my mind now. My life is so fucked up man.”  

“She will realize her mistake eventually brother. Relax.” He said trying to calm me down. Like hell I was gonna calm down!

“Mistake? Maybe this isn’t a mistake. Maybe he is the guy meant to be with her. Besides, she can never be wrong. She must have seen something in him to fall in love with right, because she was that girl who used to deny existence of love, and now she says she is in love.”

“But I know you loved her so much, from the bottom of your heart.”

“Is that going to make any difference now? There must be others like me too. Maybe Deb loved her more than I did. Maybe I wasn’t meant to be her choice. Maybe I don’t deserve her.”

“Others wanted to make her their girlfriend, but you... you have always wanted to see her happy and always were a good friend to her. That girl failed to see such a pure heart caring for her. She failed you brother. She doesn’t deserve you.” I felt desperation in his tone, trying to console and calm me down.

“She didn’t see me, like, literally. You know we haven’t met in person yet and I was stupid enough to fall for a girl whom I haven’t even met; I mean, who does that! I had loathed all those internet love stories I had heard about. I considered them impractical, but seemed like I was a victim now. And how could she even figure out just through my words, my texts that I liked her to that extent? No one can.” I kept defending my stay that I didn’t deserve her against Govind's reasoning.

“You think she didn’t read your blog - one where you kept writing about her? You had a doubt that she might have visited your previous blog, so you deleted it and created a new one. She had the link to her previous blog. I’m sure if she had the link to it, she would have at least visited and read it because that was your blog she had link to, and don't you think she would have curious enough to have a peek? Face it, she read the blog dude!”

“Na… she couldn’t have read my blog.”   Did she really now? What Govind was suggesting might be true!  

“Lemme reason my stand” I added. “Because she was angry on you at that time when she got the link to your blog from Aniket, and being angry on you she didn’t care to visit the link?”

“Just hear me out for a sec, would ya?”

“Fine…”

“Two months ago or so, we had this fight, as you know it. She was angry on me; and had she read the blog, she would have been furious on me. As she said, it was two months ago when the guy proposed her and if at all she was furious at me then,  in no way she would have had accepted his proposal in that mind state. That’s what I think. God Forbid, if anything happens in their relationship, I will be there for her, but she is happy now and let’s hope she always would be. I don’t deserve her damn it! She deserved someone better than me and may be…”

 “Forget Neha yaar. She didn’t deserve you.”

 “… It is Deb she deserved to be with all along.”

“She is a silly girl brother, unable to see the love and care you had for her, and in no way that guy is better than you are.”

“We don’t know Deb so let’s not jump into conclusions and judge him in a wrong way. Neha wouldn’t have chosen him just like that.” “But I know you, so I can confidently defend my stand.”

“Truth can’t be denied bro. Now you are saying things just to make me feel good but seriously, you don’t need to and it’s not like I’m gonna commit suicide.”

 “You know me, I don’t say things to make you feel better. Yeah, at times I point your mistakes but you know I would never do such a thing. And what the fuck are you talking about? Suicide?”

“You know sometimes people see someone so depressed that it might cross their mind, ‘ this person isn’t going to suicide. Is he?’ I’m just clearing things here. I’m just too much of a coward to physically hurt myself, slit my veins and all that filmy stuff. Suicide is out of option. Ha-Ha.”

“Shut your mouth, asshole! How can you think I would think such a thing about you? Did you think of even doing it?”

“No… No way am I committing suicide. Fuck You!!”

“Fuck you, Son of a Bitch!! Don’t even talk or think about it. Stay coward and don’t try to be brave in this case…” He said “… Get over Neha man. She is just a silly girl”

 “I told you, don’t call her silly! She isn’t. Loving someone isn’t silly. She loves someone; it’s no fault of her.”

“I’m not calling her silly because she loves someone else, but because she didn’t notice your love. I mean who sacrifices their sleep to wish his/her birthday. I’m sure no one would have done that like you did. You stayed awake all night to make sure she got every message at the right hour. 24 messages for 24 hours of her special day. That shows how much you cared about her.”

“I dozed off in the middle for like an hour and lost on message. I could send only 23 messages out of the 24 I had planned earlier. Does that show you my dedication?” I fired back.

“It does bro. No one is perfect. Sending 23 messages was quite an achievement in itself and at least not my piece of cake; and believe me when I say, I have many friends who have girlfriends but no one has ever done anything like you have done for her. So I know she is silly.”

“May be, but you know fate hasn’t been exactly on my side all this time. I know I didn’t fake my love & care for her but somehow, fate won’t be on my side every time.”

“Don’t say that bro. May be fate has, God has something else in store for you. I’m sure you will get someone as lovely as you are and she will love you back more than you will. Get over Neha brother...”

“Don’t get so worked up for me Govind. I know you care but let me handle this myself; I don’t want you to be worried about me…” the clock showed 4 A.M. “… Now go get some sleep. I will try to get some too…”  

“I’m feeling so bad and so worried about you. I know you will get over her. You have to! Bye now. Get some rest yourself. Good night, I mean Good morning…”  

“Yeah.  I will get over her, SOMEHOW!!! I guess. Bye and take care.”

“You too bro.”   

Man! We talked for like more than 3 hours and yeah it sure did bring me some relief sharing the things with Govind. He has always been such a good friend and he did his best trying to convince me there was something better for me in the future… I just had to get over Neha, SOMEHOW!!!  

 

Am I ever gonna get over her?  

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