Turn This Around

He was beautiful, like an angel, handsome like a god, but what he possessed within was frightfully dark, dangerous and deceiving. You look into his eyes and you're staring into hell itself and you realise he is the demon in which haunts you in you're sleep.

When Natalie Carter, the new girl in town catches the eye of the biggest asshole in school she soon discovers she's going to need more than a feisty attitude and snarky come backs to get rid of the male who stalks her. Challenged with school, making friends and trying to find her place in the world, she really doesn't need Harry Styles on her plate. Harry Styles was not good, in fact he was far from it. He was a demonic creature who had crawled from the fiery pits of hell in Natalie Carters eyes.

There is no escape once your being hunted.


70. Chapter Sixty-Two

Chapter 62

My legs coiled tightly around Harry's waist as he took hold of the underside of my bare thighs, his fingertips pressing into my flesh as he lifted me up. The rapid drumming of my heart was difficult to go unnoticed as Harry pushed me up against the tiled wall behind me before pressing his muscular chest against mine. The small squares lightly grazed my back as he did so but I was already too lost in his swirling green eyes to notice.

The dull, lifeless gaze I had first been met with when I opened the door to find the cold, quivering male standing on the porch had now been replaced. I was relieved to be met with the loving warmth of his eyes as they gazed at me lustfully through long, dark lashes. I felt as though my own breath had been knocked from me as I peered at the man who had fallen from the sky and lost his wings. He was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen.

Harry was so broken yet so beautiful. There was nothing ugly about him but his past and pain. The people who should have loved him didn't and they ruined him, they destroyed a boy who could have been brilliant, more brilliant than I thought he already was. They ruined his childhood, crushed his dreams and broke his heart. They freely handed him over to the cruel darkness and let it pull him into an abyss of darkness and I hate them for it. I hate them for what they have done to him, they have twisted his mind and broken his heart and they didn't even give him a second thought or a single thought to begin with.

Harry was neglected the love he deserved. He was bullied and beaten and eventually was given no other choice than to turn to the dark. The dark changed him into a man who cared about nothing, not even himself. He became completely lost once the darkness consumed him. He found a cure for his loneliness in one night stands. He found a cure for is pain in alcohol. He found a cure for his anger by inflicting pain on others with harsh words and angry fists. That wasn't him though, that was the ever lingering darkness clouding his thoughts and his mind.

Harry wasn't really like that though. He had just built his walls up so high that they were impenetrable. He even blocked himself out because he didn't want to be Harry anymore, he wanted the pain to go away so the darkness changed him into a man more like a monster. But I had found the sweet, sensitive guy hidden away behind those high walls. I had found the guy with a beautiful heart and pure soul even though his body and mind had been tainted by pain and impure women who cared noting for him. He was beautifully broken.

I love him but at the same time I'm scared because it seems as though every day I find something more about his frightening past and the next is only worse than the last. What happened yesterday was a perfect example of this. What terrifies me most about him is how little I really know about him. He is so closed off and it's difficult for me to get him to open up though I desperately try. He is ashamed of himself and I know that is the reason he struggles with expressing his thoughts, his feelings and who he really is. Every day I see the flashes of fear in those emerald eyes, the fear of me leaving him but I won't and the fact he was the one who left me only yesterday proves the point.

I want to be with him, but it is difficult to be with someone who hides so much about themselves away from you because they despise themselves so much.

He's finally realised this. He's realised I love him no matter what because that is what love is.

Damp curls flopped in front of his face as the falling water cascaded down around us. Gently I reached forward, my fingers gently brushing his hair back off his forehead. My heart fluttered as a small smile curved on the corners of his lips.

"I love you so much, Harry." I spoke softly as I twisted a curl around my finger.

"I love you, I love you, I love you." He spoke between kisses to the place where my neck and jaw met.

Uneven breaths fell from my mouth as he gently pressed his lips along my jaw causing an eruption of sparks to burst through my body. Harry had an indescribable effect on me. He made me feel like I was going insane!

My chest rose and fell at an increasingly fast pace as he nuzzled his face into the crook of my neck, cuddling my body close. The way he did this always reminded me of a small child and I found it absolutely adorable. Though he refused to believe he was cute. His warm breath fanned out across my skin as we stood in silence for a moment, listening to the sound of each other's breathing. Knowing he had come back relieved me of the torturous pain I had been suffering earlier and having him back in my arms was a feeling of pure and utter happiness.

I was in love and there was no denying it. Water fell around us like rain, soaking our hair and skin but it couldn't get anywhere close to putting out the burning flame of our fiery love. Nothing could do that anymore, nothing at all. I felt as though I was on top of the world every time Harry wrapped his arms around me. He made me feel safe and secure but most importantly he made me feel loved.

My heartbeat increased dramatically as Harry lifted me up slightly, his curls tickling at my cheek as he lifted his head from the crook of my neck. I gripped onto his shoulders, undoubtedly leaving several small crescent moon shaped intends in his skin from where my nails had slightly dug into his skin. However he didn't seem to mind my rough touch as he positioned himself between my legs.

Heavy breaths fell from my lips as my eyes fluttered closed, fingers clutching onto Harry more tightly. A few moments passed by, Harry pausing a moment as if contemplating whether this was a good idea or not. Usually I was the one who did all the overthinking and time wasting. His hesitance made me second guess the position we were currently in and I was beginning to wonder if having sex right after a fight like this was such a good idea.

We've been walking on thin ice a lot lately and it seems that we have a constant loop of fighting and arguing. I know he said he was stupid for not believing I loved him but then again he did say that to me after the first fight that occurred the night we got to Doncaster. Having sex isn't going to make things better, especially if we have another fight and next time one of us leaves for good. Is just going to hurt more. This is like a repeat of last time, we have unfinished business and there's a possibility that the moment we get out of the shower we're going to get into a fight again and I really don't think I can handle much more of this.

A heavy sigh fell from my lips as I opened my eyes, leaning back against the wall. The whole situation we were in right now was a heat of the moment kind of thing, a huge rush of adrenaline. I hated how easy it was for us to be like this in one moment and in the next trying to rip each other's throats out. I really want to be with Harry but there's that gnawing at the back of my mind reminding me how bipolar this relationship can be and how we need to talk through our current handful of problems. I could see by the way Harry's eyebrows were furrowed into a frown and lips drawn into a hard line that he was thinking the exact same thing.

His emerald eyes met with mine after a moment, the swirling green in his gaze reading worry and fear. My heart melted as he looked up at me questioningly. Harry looked so innocent, his curls flopping all over the place as the cascading shower water kissed at his skin before slipping down his godly entirety. He seemed almost nervous as he watched me, his heart rapidly thudding against his ribs as though it were about to break out of his chest.

"Should we be doing this?" He asked quietly.

I bit my lip, unsure of how to reply. I badly wanted to be intimate with him, to show him how much I loved him and how much he meant to me. I wanted to experience his raw and passionate love but the only unanswered question was whether it was the right thing to do. No, it probably wasn't right but the overwhelming flood of emotion bursting through me was telling a different story.

"I don't know." My gaze was cast to the floor as I softly replied only just loud enough to be heard of the rushing water as it pelted down onto the ground below.

"I feel like I'm using you." Harry whispered. "I left and then I came back and now you probably think I just want to mindlessly fuck you."

The pain in his voice jabs at my heart. I know Harry would never do that to me and it saddens me to thin that he feels the way he does right now. I am aware that he did leave me stranded here for twenty-four hours, nearly made me lose my mind over pain, worry and hurt whilst he was at some bar getting drunk and starting some stupid fight. He came back looking like hell and telling me how stupid he was for doubting me and leaving me here by myself. None of that changed the way I feel about him but we do need to talk.

But right now even after all the crazy stuff that occurred I found myself wanting him to make love to me even if after our actions were worse than they otherwise might be. We both needed to feel the others love, we needed to be held and to have sweet and gentle words whispered softly to us as we intimately cuddled.

My fingers gently grazed along his defined jawbone as he frowned at me, worry etched into his expression. I had never seen him look quite so vulnerable before, he looked a little bit like a lost puppy, unsure of what to do net which was unusual for Harry as he always seemed to be in command and had everything under control. I felt as though he had suddenly put all his trust into me and was letting me care for him and be the one in control for once which he had been very against previously. Delicate touches were left across his slowly warming skin as I caressed cheek, my thumb lightly swiping over his bruised skin. It was obvious he'd taken a nasty blow to the face in his drunken brawl and I hated knowing I wasn't there to stop him. Harry's worst enemy was really himself. He was irrational, short tempered, unforgiving, held a grudge and wasn't satisfied until the guy was either dead or unconscious. On alcohol he's a million times worse only not as slick as he usually would be. I feel sorry for the poor guy who had to witness his wrath.

A small kiss was pressed to the mark on the side of his face in an attempt to kiss it better. The touch of my lips caused a small almost unnoticeable shiver run down his spine, I smiled softly at the feeling of him tremble beneath my touch. Experiencing him under my doing was something I found irresistibly cute, especially when my actions enticed a faint blush on his cheeks.

"If you intend on staying its not using me." I whisper as I nuzzle my face into the crook of his neck.

"I wanna be right here with you forever." He mumbled into my hair. "That is if you wanna be here with me."

I found myself grinning from ear to ear like a fool and I'm certain if I didn't have my face in the crook of Harry's neck he'd probably laugh at my expression. He made me Happy, happier than I had ever felt and I still can't believe Mitchell almost tore him from me but what I find even harder to believe is the fact he tried. I'm not going to put up with his shit anymore, he can go ahead and call me crazy and try to make me think differently about the guy I've fallen madly in love with but there's no way he can make me love Harry any less or force me to leave him. I love Harry with everything I have and though I may seem like a stupid teenager I'm not. After everything we've been through and the fact Harry is Harry, a beautifully broken boy with so little to live off I know I truly am in love.

"Where else would I wanna be." I quietly hummed as my arms coiled around his neck to bringing him closer.

As if by natural instinct my fingers gently comb through his damp curls the way I know he loves so much. I can tell he is upset though he's doing a pretty damn good job to hide it. His quietness is a dead giveaway, he almost appears shy which is pretty much the dead opposite of his usually boisterous self. His past is a touchy topic and now that I know about some of the things he's done he feels ashamed and insecure which is exactly why we need to talk things through. I don't want him to feel that way, he's a good person who just did some bad things because he got into the wrong crowd due to his terrible upbringing.

I think it is reasonable for him to have done some stupid things as he was never taught properly by his father how he was meant to act and behave. The only thing I think Harry really picked up on was that the way his dad and stepdad treated him and his mother was totally wrong hence the reason for the protective Harry and his oath never to harm a woman.

After such a traumatic child hood, mental issues don't really come as much of a surprise. I feel pretty awful since I wasn't able to pick any of them up and then started a huge fight with him because I thought he was just jealous and way to overprotective. I understand why he got so upset now. I was basically yelling at him to change something he had no control over. I wish he would have told me. I could have helped him and prevented myself from becoming the biggest bitch in town.

"I want you to take me, Harry." I say softly. "I'm yours."

The pounding of Harry's heart only seemed to be heightened by my words. The heavy drumming becoming even more obvious against my bare chest as we stood beneath the warm water. Harry's curls softly tickled at my cheeks as dipped his head down, nudging my head to the side with his own to allow him easier access to the expanse of my neck. Without hesitation Harry gently pressed his lips against my exposed skin.

Heat flooded through my body as his lips delicately brushed along my neck, his warm mouth causing numerous goosebumps to rise on my skin. My own heart was flooded with ecstasy as Harry pressed warm kissed to my skin whilst we stood beneath the hot water in which enveloped us.

The way Harry made me feel was indescribable. In but a few seconds he could have me feeling weak at the knees. I could hear the blood pulsing loudly in my head as he used the wall to his advantage, pressing me firmly against it as he retracted his hips slightly. My eyes squeezed closed as I anxiously waiting for the inevitable, my chest rising at falling at a rapid pace as I awaited him.

This time there was no hesitation as he slowly pressed his his swollen head inside me. Small gasps fell from my lips as pushed in deeper, his stiff shaft caressing me from within. Harry's forehead fell against my shoulder, his breath heavy as he held me up. Clenching my thighs around Harry's hips I aided him in hold in my weight, gripping him tightly on the shoulders as well.

Our chest tightly pressed together. The proximity between us non-existent making the beat of the each other's heart clearly obvious. The thudding of his heart was something I took pleasure in feeling against my skin. Knowing that it was mine and I was the one who made that drumming increase in speed was such a spectacular feeling. I held his fragile heart in the palm of my hand an that was both terrifying and exhilarating.

My fingers twisted through Harry's tangle of chocolate coloured curls, fisting them lightly between my fingertips as he gently began to move. His hips rolled, thick length slightly withdrawing from my throbbing centre before pressing in again, filling me with his love. The movement was torturously slow and I was almost certain he was afraid of suddenly snap at him and tell him to stop. It was obvious we were both still on edge after last nights incident, him more so than me. Trust was something I had put entirely into Harry, he however had trust issues after the way his family had left him. His sole fear was being abandoned yet again and though I tried to soothe that fear he is still struggling though I can see he is making a fragment of improvement.

My head turned slightly to the side as I brought my lips to his ear, delicately letting them brush against his earlobe as they passed. A smile graced my face as a small shiver ran down his spine.

"I love you." I whispered for what might of been the billionth time tonight though I knew he would never get tired of hearing those three words just the same way as I would never get sick of saying them.

My whispered words evoked a small moan from my curly haired lover, his fingertips digging deeper into my thighs. Harry's hit breath fanned out over my neck as he sweetly kissed the exposed skin. The touch of his mouth was magical, his lips soft and sweet and his breath warm and loving as he tentatively gave me his love and affection.

Harry's thrust gradually became faster, his thrusts deep and meaningful as our hips continuously collided. The breath was forced out of my chest as I received a particularly deep thrust. I quietly cried out, yanking slightly at his roots a I but down on his shoulder. The intense pleasure washing through me was overwhelming and without a doubt I would be lying on the floor like a blob of jelly if Harry were to put me down. His very touch had butterflies erupting throughout my stomach, crunching and churning. Harry was all mine and I still couldn't believe it. I had the most extraordinary man in the world in my arms and there was nothing I didn't love about him. He loved me with everything he had and even though he had so little his love meant more than the entire universe. I couldn't ask for anything more because Harry was the only thing I wanted and I wanted him just the way he was.

My fingers slipped from within the mess of curls atop of his head, moving down to explore the contour of his muscular back as he continued to rock into. As usual his skin was smooth beneath my fingertips, the water making his skin even easier for them to glide over. Small patterns were traced up his spine a my fingers continued to wander.

Up towards his shoulders I could feel taunt muscles beneath his beautiful, tanned skin. The weight of my body was the reason for the strain as he held me up. Harry however didn't seem fazed by the weight he held in his hands, the strength of his body was something that never ceased to amaze me. Lifting me seemed to be a breeze for him though I knew if I attempted to left him I'd probably be laughed at because I couldn't lift him or I'd pull something trying. Maybe even both. My arms held little strength as I didn't go to the gym and didn't lift much more than a pencil. Harry on the other hand is probably the strongest guy I know and could probably snap me in half without even lifting a finger. Though he loves to tease me about my inability to even do one push up I will admit I love the fact he's bigger and stronger than me. Knowing he can protect me from creeps like Adam and Luke is very satisfying.

Another thing I love about his strength is the way he holds me at night. Harry cuddles me into his chest tightly and his hold never loosens which gives off a sense of security and safety. I feel safe at night when I'm in his arms because I know he will protect me from both my dreams and reality if danger ever sprung.

My chest rose and fell heavily as raspy breath tumbled from my lips. I was struggling to inhale, Harry's movements becoming more desperate and causing me to squeeze my legs more tightly around him. A small gasp of surprised was emitted into steamy air as I received a particularly heavy thrust. This one felt deeper, as if his stiff length had reached a whole new area within me.

Pleasure flooded through my body like a tidal wave as his swollen tip reached that deep spot again. This time I cried out, my walls involuntarily clenching around his pulsating intrusion. This forced a moan from Harry's lips, lips tingling against my skin as the sensual sound tumbled through his chest. The sound made me shudder which I was sure didn't go unnoticed by Harry as his one and only task quickly became hitting that pleasurably point somewhere deep within me.

"Did that..." Harry panted, struggling a moment for much needed breath. "Did that feel good?"

I was so consumed by the feeling of ecstasy that I couldn't even utter a reply. Instead, all that fell from my mouth was a small whimper and hot breath though I was pretty sure that was all the confirmation he needed. He hummed quietly in appreciation and I was pleased to say he was returning to his usual warm, bold self again.

The base of my neck was surrendered to Harry's plump, pink lips as they pressed down to the tingling skin. An open mouthed kiss was left to my hot skin, his tongue repeatedly swiping over it as my head lolled back against the wall in utter pleasure.

Large hands squeezed at the underside of my thighs as Harry continued to work me against him, our hips colliding with every thrust. The sound of our soft moans swam with the rising steam from our now hot bodies and the scolding water in which was the doing of our extreme heat. Harry wasn't helping the situation as he was probably hotter than the sun and sexier than Channing Tatum. Harry's not allowed to know I think that though because I lied to him and said i thought Channing Tatum was the sexiest man on the planet because after Harry decided to call him a fucktard because he had a smiley face tattooed on his arse in one movie. He sulked the whole day after I suggested he go get a smiley face tattooed on his backside so I would like him more.

My fingernails roughly raked down his back as I received yet another heavy thrust. Harry was sure to receive a reminder in red scratches down his back of the heated events which occurred in the close confines of the shower.

His teeth nipped at my skin as he continued to suck, tongue gliding over the already deep purples to of affection. Head flooded through my lower stomach and my tight walls began to clench around him, signalling I was growing near my imminent high. Short, sharp breaths tumbled from my lips as the intense feeling continued to grow.

Squeezing my eyes closed, I gripped onto Harry's shoulders, nails digging into his oft flesh as I desperately gasped for vital oxygen. With every passing moment the feeling of indescribably pleasure continued to grow. Harry sensed my oncoming high, his lips feverishly splotching kisses across my jaw as I continued to struggle to hold on much longer.

"Open your eyes." He whispered as i felt him rest his forehead against my own. "I wanna see those pretty eyes when you come for me."

My eyelashes fluttered open, my gaze desperately meeting with Harry's brilliant green stare. There was something ever so captivating about his twinkling eyes. I think it was the way that the colour changed with his mood and how he had a twinkle in his eyes. They were both frightening an incredibly beautiful at the same time. The darkness that occasionally consumed the pretty green was what always kept me aware of his dark side, just like them moon. But right now I'd never seen a more vibrant green or a brighter twinkle in his incredible eyes.

"H-harry." I whimpered, wishing I could hold his hand as I rode out my orgasm.

"It's okay, baby. I'm right here, you can come for me." He soothed. "I'm yours."

The intensity of the moment was almost impossible to describe. Our needy body's rubbing against one another and fingertips touching all over wet skin so desperately you'd think we had t seen each other in years. My mouth soon found his again, hungrily kissing at the soft, plumpness of his tender lips as we continued. Raspy moans tumbled from his lips as my tight walls clenched around his throbbing intrusion as he continued to pump in and out. The tingling of heat in my stomach began to rise with every thrust of his hips as they met with mine. I was flooded with an intense feeling of pleasure, my back arching into his chest as I threw my head back.

I came for him.

A throaty moan was emitted from his pink lips with the sensation of my breasts pressed roughly against his chest. Harsh gasps falling from my lips as I grappled onto him with my fingers. A string of profanities lingered in the air as his thrusts became sloppier signalling he was growing near his own peak of our bumpy ride. I felt him twitch within me a moment later, releasing his come into the condom in hot spurts.

"Uh, fuck." He swore, the roll of his hips slowing noticeably as we both rode out our highs.

My fingers gently combed through his tangle of curls as he buried his face in the crook of my neck. Harry's breathing was rough and slightly laboured as he struggled to retain a steady breathing pattern. My breath wasn't much different, hot pants falling from my lips as I gripped tightly onto Harry's shoulders. The warm air forced from his mouth fanned out across my skin as our breathing slowed considerably but the fall of warm water remained somewhat the same. During the time Harry and I had spent lovingly connected the water had cooled slightly. The once hot jets of water now borderline tepid as it enclosed around it. The cooler water was however soothing as it collided with our hot bodies cooling us down and relaxing achy muscles.

I was more than content, I would quite happily stay here wrapped around Harry forever if it were possible. Being with someone you love for all of eternity sounded pretty damn good.

Gently I tugged at the roots of Harry's hair, lifting his head for the crook of my neck. He willingly obliged, raising his head so out intense green gazes met. As if on pure instincts my hands moved to cup either of his cheeks, thumbs gently caressing his cheeks in small circular motions. He smiled widely at me as his eyes fell closed, basking I the pleasure of my touch on his face.

My heart pounded erratically on my chest as I absorbed his appearance. With all the shock that had come with Harrys return I hadn't really had a proper chance to check him over and damage the wounds inflicted on his godly body. There was an array of dark bruises scattered across his skin in clouding that nasty one on his cheek. It was pretty obvious he'd taken a couple of hits to his lift cheek considering the shade of the mark. The two cuts he wore, one just below his eye and the other crossing his eyebrow were most probably inflicted by a ring worn by Harry's opposition.

The very thought of him getting himself into a fight made me cringe. I hated how he released his rage in punches, inflicting pain on others as if it would lessen his pain if they hurt too. One of his major flaws was the fact he couldn't control his emotions, his temper being the hardest of them all. Harry didn't know how to let his feelings out so he kept them bottled up most of the time but the anger was always there and he knew how to let that out even if it was in the form of his fists.

It pained me to think of everything going on inside Harry's head. He refused to reveal his problems with me for fear of rejection and his feelings were much the same, struggling to slip out. I wanted him to know I would never leave him just because he had a dark past and he wasn't mentally stable. If he let me in I could help him and support him instead of him silently suffering through it alone, leaving me in the dark. All I want is for him to be happy. He deserves happiness more than anyone else. He deserves to feel loved and wanted. I want to be able to give him those feelings but I need him to open up to do so. I can't help him if I don't know what he's going through or the way he feels about everything but I'm willing to wait for him, even if that wait is forever.


My fingers fumbled through my suitcase in search for clean underwear. It proved to be quite a struggle as I had to both keep the whit towel secured round my body whilst rifling through the assortment of unfolded clothes. The fact Harry's gaze was locked on me from across the room didn't help my situation as the only thing I could focus on was the feeling of his glimmering eyes boring deep holes in my back. I could always sense when he was watching me, it was hard not to as he did it with very little subtlety. In no way was Harry afraid of being caught in the act and he'd admitted that to me.

I glanced over my shoulder, pinning Harry with a glare in which he returned with a playful smile. My cheeks flushed with heat, pink tingling on my skin as it did every time I felt embarrassed. He was lazily sprawled out across my bed, his emerald eyes dancing with mischief as he propped his chin up on his knuckles. Only a pair of black boxers adorned his body as he watched me without a care, his lips curled in a grin of satisfaction.

"Stop looking at me like that, you make me feel uncomfortable." I whined, throwing a pair of jeans in his direction before turning back to what I had been doing.

Harry let out a chuckle as the sound of my jeans hitting the floor reached my ears. His amusement only made my cheeks heat further as I knew he loved my embarrassment and took great pleasure in bringing that warm blush to my cheeks.

"Hurry up and come to bed then." Harry bargained.

"No. I'm naked."

A small huff of annoyance fell from his lips. It was clear he would have quite happily yanked me into bed completely bare if I had obliged. However, it was cold tonight and I would much rather wear a tanker to keep out the chills that creep into bed with us in cracks where the duvet doesn't quite meet with the mattress again.

I would also prefer to be clothed if we are going to be conversing about our problems. I honestly don't think I would be able to talk to Harry with any form of confidence whatsoever if I was completely bare. He would use it to his advantage and force that hot blush across my cheeks again, the one he adores so much.

"And... It's not like I haven't seen you naked before." He chuckles but his laughter is cut short when I pin him with an unamused glare. "Just chuck one of my shirts on and come to bed."

I roll my eyes, returning yet again to the task of finding a pair of panties at the very least. I already intend on wearing one of his shirts so a bra doesn't really matter. My fingers brushed past numerous items of clothing, sifting through the ocean of clothes. My bag had be packed for the unpredictable but unfortunately I hadn't packed it neatly making it a hell of a job trying to find anything.

Minutes passed and by now Harry had grown bored and was now snuggled beneath the covers. I paused a moment to watch him as his chest rose and fell with every breath. I found it difficult to distinguish whether he was awake or not as his head was faced away from me, and his gaze hidden. What I did know was that the way he was curled up in a cute little ball was adorable and I found myself desperately wanting to go and snuggle with him.

A cry of success escaped my lips as I finally found what I had been searching for. Harry released a groan, clearly not feeling the joy of my success. The lacy white panties were tugged from the depths of the bag before I stumbled to my feet, clutching the fabric between my fingers. Hastily I pulled my panties up my legs, not bothering with trying to conceal myself as Harry was still facing away from me.

A couple of steps were taken towards across the room before I stopped down to grab one of Harry's many shirts I which had been strewn across the floor. My towel fell to the floor unceremoniously before i pulled the black Rolling Stones I had selected up over my head. The material fluttered around me as it fell, concealing most of my body from Harry's emerald eyes.

Satisfied with the clothes that were now adorning my body I crawled onto the side of the bed. For a moment I fumbled with the covers, pulling the duvet, sheet and the extra blanket I had added earlier back so I could slip in. Warmth enclosed around me as I pulled the covers up to my nose in an attempt to avoid the cold air beyond the comfy confines of my bed.

Harry lay beside me, his body remaining in the same place as it had been before I got into bed. I felt unsure of myself, I didn't know if he wanted me to curl up with him or keep my distance. Usually it was him who initiated bedtime cuddles, he would always envelop me in his strong arms and pull me into his chest. Even in sleep he naturally did this, it was almost as though he felt my presence and yearned for me to be closer.

Tonight was different though, Harry made no attempt whatsoever to be nearer to me. If anything, he seemed to only be further away. I felt somewhat hurt by his actions or lack of them, the usual feeling of safety and security was gone and suddenly the thought of sleep appeared more frightening. I blinked back tears as I reached for the light switch, suddenly regretting what we had done after he suggested maybe we shouldn't but I had persuaded him into continuing.

My chest burnt with a painful fear as darkness surrounded me. Slowly I sank back down into bed, resting my head against the pillows as my eyes fell closed. I already knew sleep would be difficult considering Harry was lying next to me yet not touching me in anyway and that brought many fears to mind. The deafening boom of my heartbeat could be clearly sounded in my head as I tried to control myself, to contain the tears desperately trying to break free. I was deeply hurt by the lack of his warm hands on my stomach and strong chest pressed to my back. Though it seems silly to be hurt by such a small, unimportant thing I still was because the significance of him holding me through the night was special. It was his way of showing me that I was safe with him and he would always be there to protect me and it was also a way he comforted himself, knowing I was with him brought him peace and I was terrified at the idea of losing the special meaning it had to us. I knew Harry was lying only a metre from me but don't think I'd ever felt so alone.

Minutes passed and I quickly came to realise that this was going to become a sleepless night. I couldn't drift off knowing Harry was so close yet so far away at the same time. I was almost tempted to cuddle up behind him but I knew he wasn't in a stable position and I was afraid he'd only push me further away than I already was. I wanted to mend our messed up relationship, not make it worse and that was the very reason I remained on the very edge of the bed as far away from him as possible, keeping my distance.

The bed rattled slightly as Harry moved to most probably get more comfortable whilst I remained quiet. There was a great stabbing pain in my heart as I pretended to be asleep to save myself the embarrassment of having to face him whilst being on the verge of tears over the stupid distance between us in this damn bed.

A small sigh sounded from behind me and I almost rolled over just so I could peer at him the rough the darkness in an attempt to make out his expression. However I stopped myself before I had the chance, remembering he didn't want to be anywhere near me apparently. I pulled the duvet more tightly around myself, nuzzling my nose into the soft fabric as I listened to Harry's breathing. I could tell he was awake, the fact his breaths were light, almost silent made that clear and also very obvious that he was aware of the space between us yet he didn't seem to care.

"Why are you so far away from me?"

I almost jumped out of my skin when Harry's voice sounded in the silence, completely breaking it open. His question caught me off guard because I was only distancing myself from him because I didn't think he wanted to be anywhere remotely close to me. I willed my body to roll over so I could face him despite not being able to see anything through the darkness.

"Because I didn't think you wanted me to be near you." I replied timidly.

"Why wouldn't I want you to be near me?!" He exclaims. "Every bloody moment of every damn day all I want to do is to be near you."

My heart fluttered with his words and suddenly I felt a little silly for not making the first move and coiling my arms round his body. Harry was probably thinking the exact same thing as I was, asking himself as to what the reason was for me to not want to be near him. I was relieved to know he wanted to be close to me and he still wanted to spoon, cuddle and whatnot during the night as we always do.

I felt the warmth of Harry's breath against my skin as he shuffled closer an even though I couldn't see where exactly he was I knew he was very close. Butterflies erupted in my stomach as an arm was lazily dropped over my waist, his fingers catching hold of the back of my shirt as he nudged me further into his chest.

A smile curved on my lips as I happily complied, my arms moving to curl round his neck as he relaxed back against the mattress. His other arm moved to coil around me as I moved to my partially atop of Harry, resting my head on his left shoulder. I immediately felt safe, his warmth and ever present love wrapping around me as I pressed a sweet kiss to the crook of his neck.

"I love you, Nat." He hummed into my hair, bringing a wide grin to my face.

"I love you, Harold."

"Shut up." Harry cringed at the sound of his full name. He hated it but I thought it was cute.

"What? Harold is a cute name." I giggled into his neck.

I mentally pictured him rolling his eyes at me through the blanket of darkness, he did this every time I teased him about his name. The name Harold was literally the only thing I had on him when it came to embarrassing one another whereas he had a never ending list of things he could do to evoke my red cheeks. Me being me I liked to use his name to my advantage considering it was the only advantage I had.

"Well I don't want to be cute."

"I'm sorry to break it to you but I think your the cuter than a puppy dog." I cooed as my fingers lightly traced his jaw.

A mock gasp was taken past his lips before a chuckle vibrated through his muscular chest. It pleased me knowing he was actually in a playful mood rather than the serious, solemn one I had firstly perceived him to be in.

"You take that back."

"Whatever you say, cutie." I grinned proudly to myself.

He let out a quiet humph of annoyance but I knew that somewhere deep down he liked being called cute, even if he wouldn't admit it to himself. Harry wanted to be big, brave and bold and I was proud to say he lost certainly was. However beneath all his toughness he did have a sensitive side believe it or not and I knew he took pleasure in being called cute but he just wanted to keep the tough surface in tact.

My fingers ran lovingly all over his skin, exploring the beautiful expanse of his body as we lay in silence for a while. I loved being able to have moments like these with him. Moments when there was nothing but us and silence. So many things could be said with a simple look or a delicate touch. Speaking was hard at times and i know from experience that Harry does struggle with expressing himself through words. They never quite seem to fall into place or things come out wrong and he says things he doesn't really mean. I see the emotion in his eyes and through his touches, he was difficult to read but if you looked harder enough you could see that emotion in his eyes and through his touches and not even a single word was needed. Sometimes it was easier to speak without saying anything at all and touching was one way we both conveyed our love.

"Natalie?" Harry softly spoke after a considerable amount of silence.

"Hmm." I responded, gently combing my fingers through his chocolate curls.

"I don't want to keep things from you anymore." He spoke in a hushed tone. "You shouldn't have to find out about the stupid shit I've done in the past from other people, you should hear it from my mouth."

He had no idea just how long I had waited to hear those words, for him to tell me everything about his dark past and for me to be able to hear them from his plump, pink lips. I wanted to know so I could support him, to be there for him and to lift the weight of everything from his shoulders. It feels better to tell someone instead of bearing your burden all alone. After pushing everyone out for so many years I quickly realised telling Harry had lifted some of the weight from my shoulders and I no longer felt as though I was going to be crushed under the great pressure.

I can only hope some of Harry's pain and hurt will be lifted when he tells me. I really want him to feel better about himself because he is honestly the strongest person I know and I love him so much for that.

"That would mean a lot to me, Harry. Love is a lot about trust and I think we're struggling a little on that front." I let out a small chuckle which Harry's beautiful laugh joined me as I did so.

"I'm gonna tell you everything."

(Hey guys, let me start off with a huge apology for this updates taking me about a century to write, I'm so sorry but a lot has been going on in my life lately and I've been so stressed and busy. I had intended to update Saturday but the traumatic event of death prevented me from doing so. The last few days I just haven't feel like writing as I've been feeling really upset and I'm a bit of an emotional wreck. I know this chapter isn't the best and I'm sorry for that too. I'm hoping to update again this week but when will depend on how I'm feeling and I hope you all understand I'm going through a bit of a rough patch and I need a little time to recover from everything so updates may be a little slow for the next week or two. I really appreciate your patience and I hope you like this chapter despite it being a little bit bumpy and not quite flowing the way it usually does. I'm sorry again and I hope you all had a lovely Easter!

Love you guys!


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