Turn This Around

He was beautiful, like an angel, handsome like a god, but what he possessed within was frightfully dark, dangerous and deceiving. You look into his eyes and you're staring into hell itself and you realise he is the demon in which haunts you in you're sleep.

When Natalie Carter, the new girl in town catches the eye of the biggest asshole in school she soon discovers she's going to need more than a feisty attitude and snarky come backs to get rid of the male who stalks her. Challenged with school, making friends and trying to find her place in the world, she really doesn't need Harry Styles on her plate. Harry Styles was not good, in fact he was far from it. He was a demonic creature who had crawled from the fiery pits of hell in Natalie Carters eyes.

There is no escape once your being hunted.


71. Chapter Sixty-Three

I know how difficult Harry finds it to express his feelings, him emotions and important aspects of his past but seeing him try like this makes my heart flutter. It Brings me such Happiness when he does this but when aspects of his past are revealed I also feel a great sadness. Harry's childhood was truly horrifying and what his immediate family have done to him is just despicable. Rejecting and abusing you're own son was bad enough but Harry's father had tried to kill him numerous times for something that wasn't even his own fault, his existence. What Harry has told me of his past is already ghastly and the fact there is more sickens me, I don't know how much more I can handle before my stomach empties itself again or my head explodes. I actually wish Mitchell had never found that piece of paper because I would rather not know about some of the things Harry has done not because I'm afraid I'll love him any less but because it pains me to hear what his family have driven him to do out of his own agony.

I peeked up at Harry through long lashes, absorbing his expression of discomfort in the dim light. He looked almost as though he wanted to be sick as he recalled the frightful memories, searching for a place to begin. His eyebrows were knitted together in a frown, the usual crease between them appearing deeper than usual as he roughly bit down on his lower lip. The way he was gnawing at the soft, plum, pink flesh looked as though he were going to rip it to shred if he kept the chewing up much longer.

His current image brought me very little comfort as I could see he really didn't want to reveal or even think about some of the darkest of his secrets. Harry's breath was heavy, his chest rising and falling at a rapid face as uneven breaths tumbled from his lips. He was upset and in discomfort and this was only confirmed by the trembling in his stiff body. It broke my heart to see him like this, though it did bring me relief knowing he wasn't proud of the things he'd done and that was why after this I would still love him.

My hand pawed the bedspread in search for his hand, hoping to reassure him and to remind him that I still loved him. As my fingers slid between he's longer ones, Harry tilted his head down towards me, his fearful eyes locking with mine. Looking at him in such a vulnerable state made me want to cry, it was almost unbearable to see him like this. I wish I could protect him from his own thoughts, to block out all those painful memories and to prevent him from his irrational thinking but the problem is that I can't. Harry is drowning in his own mind and I can't stop him from doing that. I wish I could reach into his ming and settle the raging sea of thoughts so he could swim back to the surface, so he could breath.

Cautiously I settled my free hand on his stomach, gently caressing his smooth skin with the pad of my thumb. He squeezed my hand in gratitude as I continued to softly touch over his skin. He smiled down at me weakly before his whole body shifted. I let out a yelp of surprise as he flipped me onto my back, pressing me down beneath him out fingers remaining entwined. Harry's warm chest pressed against mine as he nuzzled his face into the crook of my neck. Tears welled in my eyes as I realised just how afraid Harry was. He was terrified of what I would think of him and how I would react but he was most afraid of even remembering.

"Harry." I softly spoke as my hand resumed its tender caressing, this time however on his lower back. "If you don't want to tell me right now, I can wait but I already know what you've done so the worst of its over and I'm still here."

I was willing to wait until he had gathered his thoughts and until he was properly ready to share them with me. Both of us are factors to this lethal relationship, it's not just him. I know I can be quite pushy at times because of that burning curiosity within me that just has to know everything and I need to fix that. I don't want to pressure him into telling me his darkest secrets especially because I can see how uncomfortable it makes him having to recall the horrid events. If he wants me to wait then so be it.

A heavy sigh escaped Harry's lips as he lifted his head from the crook off my neck, curls brushing against my cheek as he went. Disappointment washed through me as he began to get up, my touch slipping as the warmth of body evaded me. My arms fell to my sides as I watched him sit up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. Harry buried his face in his hands as he hunched forward showing obvious signs of stress.

I didn't know what to do, I had given him an option which he had neither affirmed or denied. I didn't know whether to just comfort him or to try and gently coax it out of him. Going against either of these ideas and my better nature, I attempted the use of a virtue I did not have, patience. I quietly lay on my back across the bed from him, head tilted in his direction as I studied the expanse of his beautiful back. Tense muscles rippled beneath his skin every time he inhaled and exhaled making his discomfort clear. His shoulder blades jutted out slightly, a few small nubs of his spine were made obvious by the position of his back.

I wanted to reach out and touch him. To gently straighten out the kinks in his back as I whispered how much I loved him in his ear. Forcing myself to remain in place was difficult me as I had never been one to sit still and I had very little patience but for Harry I would do anything and if he needed space to think then I would more than willingly give him it. I watched in antagonising pain as his fingers became tangled between his curls, lightly tugging at his roots in frustration.

"I have to tell you, Natalie." Harry's voice strained as he twisted his head back towards me. "I can't let you fall asleep with me tonight not knowing the reason I did all those things and thinking I willingly prostituted myself."

A sharp breath was sucked between my lips as I absorbed his words and that's when I realised his past was even more fucked up then I had ever thought.

I felt a sickening twist in my stomach and a dull ache in my chest as his words replayed in my head over and over again. Harry's eyes were cast down in pure disgust and I could only pray that it wasn't in himself. He turned his back on me again, hanging his head as if ashamed in himself. His fingers were curled around the edge of the bed, gripping the mattress so tightly that his knuckles turned white. Short gasps were taken between his lips as he struggled to inhale vital oxygen.

The memories running through his poor, messed up head must have been disgusting. I can't even begin to imagine what it would have been like to be forced into prostitution against your will. What sickened me most about the whole thing was the fact that it was "Juvenile Prostitution". Harry had been forced to sleep with women against his will as an innocent child who had already been damaged enough. That is the most vile thing I think I have ever heard of and it kills me to know that is exactly what happened to the person I had fallen so unconditionally in love with.

I couldn't watch him suffer alone any longer. Seeing him in pain was worse than death and I hated it. Shoving the covers off my body I rolled over onto my stomach before pushing myself up on my hands and knees. I know my patience thing kind of failed on me but I don't care because it was a virtue I never had and I was glad I didn't because right now Harry was in desperate need of comforting. Crawling across the mattress, I made my way to the trembling form sitting on the edge of the bed. I couldn't help but notice how prepared he was to make a break for it if I said something that made him think I didn't love him. It hurt to see him so ready to run because he was still lacking in trust though I didn't blame him after everything that had happened to him during his twisted childhood.

Small whimpers escaped Harry's lips, echoing thought the deadly silence and back to my ears again in a torturous loop. With great care, my arms wrapped around him from behind, one hand coming to rest upon his toned stomach and the other over the erratic pounding in his chest. My only intention was to let him know that I was here for him and that I loved and supported him no matter what because he was my beautiful fallen angel who deserved none of this pain and suffering which had so cruelly been set upon him.

"L-lie down with me, Harry." My own voice came out shaky and just as unstable as his had. "P-please, j-just let me hold you, I want to comfort you. I-it's going to be alright."

My head dipped down into the crook of his neck where my lips lovingly pressed a soft kiss to the protruding vein running from the base of his lower jaw all the way down to his collarbone. I let my nose gently glide across his smooth shoulder as he willingly complied to my request. I was slightly surprised by how easy it had been to coax Harry into joining beneath the sheets where I wanted to kiss and cuddle him as he spoke of his past, using my mouth and arms to comfort him as he recited his pain.

I watched as Harry lifted his long legs back up into the mattress, tucking his bare feet beneath the sheets. My fingers gently combed through his unruly curls as I helped lay him back down against the soft mattress. The rise and fall of Harry's chest had seemed to have slowed considerably since he had sat on the edge of the bed alone. I seemed to have almost calming effects on him and knowing this brought my a small amount of joy. My touch evaded Harry for a moment as I sat up to bring the covers over us, my fingers snagging the warm fabrics. With much care, I pulled the blankets back up over Harry's trembling body, bringing it all the way up to his shoulders before I returned to running my fingers through his soft curls with one hand whilst the other was used to cuddle him around the waist.

I swear the dramatic thudding of my heart could be heard a mile away as fearful thoughts buzzed through my mind. I was worried about Harry, terrified by the idea of him having to think of all these disgusting memories when he was all alone. My fingers traced small patterns across his bare shoulder as small, fearful sounds escaped his lips. With every passing moment I spent in Harry's company whilst he was in a state like this, my heart broke a little more. I couldn't believe anyone had treated him in such a pitiful, twisted and disgusting way, they belonged in a mental asylum.

Trembling fingers laced between mine as Harry shifted to roll over. My touch never left his body as he turned on to face me on his side, my palms soothingly slid around to his back. I gazed up at him through glassy eyes, absorbing the image of his own broken eyes. They appeared tired this time, dull and lifeless now that the green twinkle had gone. Such sadness danced behind his irises pain and disgust lacing in between. My chest rose and fell heavily as I watched him part his lips, opening his mouth to speak, though I was not sure I wanted to hear the words that were about to fall out.

"Do you remember when I told you my stepfather was an alcoholic?" Harry asked quietly.

I nodded my head. It was difficult for me to forget the night he had first spoken of his abusive family to me. The very thought of the man who had come home drunk and murder Harry's mother made me feel sick to the stomach. I highly doubted I would ever be rid of this knowledge.

"Well, my mother had awful taste in men, the first was an asshole who abused his unwanted son and even went as far as trying to kill him and the second..." Harry paused. A deep breath was sucked between his teeth, fingertips lightly pressing into my hip as his eyes squeezed closed in pain. "The second was far worse, not only was he an abusive, alcoholic but he also dealt drugs."

I think my heart stopped for a sickening moment as the horrid information reached my ears. Everything that fell from Harry's lips only seemed to make his already awful childhood a billion times worse than I had already thought. It was an awful feeling knowing that I had been with him whilst he had kept this information contained and suffered alone. I wanted to help him, every bone in my body yearned for his happiness.

The palm of my hand gently cupped Harry's cheek as I leant in, my nose gently nuzzling against his. The warmth of his shakes breath fanned out over my lips as I gradually moved my head closer to place a sweet peck on the plumpness of his lips. A small smile if gratitude was give in return I tilted my head away slightly away. The small motion of love seemed to give Harry the courage to continue again whilst I silently lay beside him, comforting and listening to him.

"I remember so clearly the day Jonathan came up to my room, telling me he needed help. It was the first time he had actually spoken to me without alcohol on his breath. I was thirteen and thought for the first time in my life someone actually thought I was of some use even if it was the man who came home drunk every night and abused my mother, sister and me. I thought maybe since he was sober that there was a chance he was actually nice but god was I a naive child! I preferred him high, drunk off his arse and beating me to a pulp than sober." Harry exclaimed, his grip on my waist tightening. "He told me we didn't have enough money to pay the rent and he needed me to do a special job for him for a little while. Me being the unwanted, unloved little kid I was, I leapt at the idea of helping him, hoping I could make him happy with me. In reality he had lost some bet to some drug lord and didn't have enough to pay the guy back."

It wasn't hard to put two and two together. The very thought of what had happened to my beautiful fallen angel brought tears to my eyes. Poor little broken Harry had been tricked and used to Jonathan's advantage. All Harry wanted to do was to be accepted and when the occasion arrived he had jumped at the idea of doing something that would make someone like him and to help his family get the money they needed. However, only being a young boy at the time, he knew little of the disgusting things his stepfather had planned for him.

"H-he sold my virginity." The words dripped from Harry's lips like poison. "A-all I wanted to do was help my family and to do so he sold me off to some f-fifty year old women who did vile things to me. I-"

Harry stopped himself mid sentence, his hand clamping over his mouth as his body abruptly twisted in my arms. With wide eyes he stumbled to his feet before clumsily scampering across the room. I watched in shock as the bathroom door was slammed closed, the image of Harry disappearing behind the wooden barrier as he left me lying in bed all alone.

I felt my stomach do a sickening twist as i replayed his words in my head. The thought of an old woman touching innocent little Harry who was only trying to help brought bile up the back of my throat. It disgusted me to think of Jonathan and the woman who had absolutely no right and was breaking all the laws when she touched him. What Harry had been forced into wasn't prostitution, but it was child molest and rape. Period.

I slipped from the bed with an uneasy feeling in my stomach. The thought of anyone else touching my Harry made me feel sick but the knowledge of a fifty year old women immorally taking his innocence was a billion times worse. The very thought of such a twisted women made me want to puke up everything in my stomach, guts and all.

My own intestines would be less disgusting than what Jonathan had forced Harry to do. What he had done wasn't just twisted, but it was also cruel. Harry was willing to do anything and everything to help his family, even if they didn't want him and didn't care even the slightest bit for him. He loved them and was willing to do anything to get their approval and to be rewarded with the tiniest bit of love. Jonathan fed off that, he used it to trick Harry so he could prostitute Harry so he could pay of some debt he owed. I hope that man stays locked up for life because he is purely evil.

My feet carried me quietly across the room in the direction of the bathroom as I carefully stepped over the mess created on the floor. I pressed my ear to the barrier that separated both the bathroom and bedroom and also Harry and I. I could hear him throwing up and I didn't blame him as I felt much the same way. I can't even imagine what it would have been like to be forced to have sex with a woman who was probably older than his mother at such a young age. It was absolutely despicable to think that anyone would do that to such a sweet little boy whom knew so little but loved so much.

The sounds of small whimpers echoed throughout the bathroom from behind the closed door as Harry softly cried. It was utterly heartbreaking to hear him like this, he was killing me bit by bit with every passing second. My fingers gripped the handle in an attempt to pull the door back only to discover it had been locked from the inside. Fear for the curly haired male bubbled within me as his cries grew louder, he was clearly suffering and I hated not being able to get in there and love him. He desperately needed that because in the state he was in currently in and his mental problems that of which I had only recently discovered were beginning to worry me.

It was the depression that frightened me the most. Harry had admitted to me previously that there had been plenty of times where he wanted to kill himself. Knowing he was suffering from that kind of sadness was awfully frightening. I know that thinking Harry will commit suicide within my bathroom in the next few minutes is probably completely over the top and a stupid thought but I would rather be safe than sorry. I don't know if I'd ever be able to live with myself if I let him die in there all alone nor did I think I would be able to live without him because I was well and truly in love with him and there was no hiding that.

Slowly I lifted my clenched fist up to the wooden barrier, quietly rapping my knuckles against the solid material as not to upset him any further.

"Harry?" I quietly called.

Silence lingered in the air threateningly, Harry's lack of response frightening me as all seemed to go dead quiet. His lack of response brought me no comfort, in fact it only heightened my fears. My heart collided with my ribs with every thrumming beat at an erratic pace as I wallowed in my own fear. The pain in my heart was caused by the distance between Harry and I. It Felt almost as though my heart were straining towards his, desperately wanting to give and receive All the love we had.

I was almost certain that my love and the fearful adrenaline coursing through my veins would be enough to knock the coot down if the worst came to the worst. I would do anything for the emerald eyed boy with chocolate curls and the most beautiful, golden heart ever to exist. There was nothing that would stop me from getting to him, not even a solid barrier between us could stop me because I knew that without a doubt I would find a way.

"Harry, please let me in." I cried, panic and desperation evident in my voice.

"N-no, I-I don't want you to see me like this." His voice came out in a muffled sob.

"Please, Harry." I tried again, this time using a different tactic. "I love you so much and I can't bare sitting out here whilst your hurting. I want to be there for you."

My palms pressed to the door as if dreaming I could walk through walls or in my case doors. The only thing I wanted to do right now was to wrap my arms around Harry's trembling body and tell him just how much I loved him. I wanted to tell him that he meant the world to me and the awful things that had been done to him didn't make him disgusting, but the women who had committed the unlawful act. The trouble with Harry was that he was stubborn and refused to believe the things I said to him. He was determine that he was an evil, disgusting, violent person but I did understand why now.

I hadn't noticed I'd been crying until the wetness of my cheeks grew somewhat in consistency. Harry's pain was something I felt so strongly in situations like this. The bond between us us so strong that when one person is hurting the other feels it too. I don't just want to feel the excruciating pain but I want to share in it. Too lighten the load. I was here for him at all times and all he needed to do was let me in.

A continuous chain of choked sobs drifted from the crack beneath the door and to my ears. I was struggling to keep my almost calm composure as I waited in great anticipation. My fingers were crossed as I prayed for some unknown miracle for Harry to open the door.

Pressing my ear to the wooden barrier again, I listened for the sound of even the slightest movement. The soft patter of bare feet soon became audible, the noise taking me somewhat by surprise. I hadn't expected him to give in that easily but perhaps he has truly accepted the fact that means everything to me and that I just want to be there for him. As the sound grew nearer, I found myself feeling more and more nervous about the sight of my beautiful Harry so distraught. I gulped loudly as the footsteps came to an abrupt holt, pausing just beyond the barrier. My chest ached with the desire to reach him and wrap my arms around him. With every passing second time seemed to drag on my and my anxiousness increased alongside it. The eerie silence made it seem as though Harry was changing his mind about pulling back the door and letting me care for him.

My eyes watered more as I waited, fat teardrops rolling down my cheeks in slippery streaks before dripping of my chin. I attempted to mask the ragged sobs slipped from my lips using my hand to cover my mouth. However, my attempts failed soon enough and the pained cries echoed throughout the dreary house and surely reached Harry's ears. The burning ache for him that I held within my chest was agonising and I knew that soon enough I would curl up on the floor beside the door and my entire soul would be poured out to him all over again.

"You don't need to hide anymore, Harry." I spoke in a fragment of a whisper. "I love you."

My breath hitched in the back of my throat as the lock clicked open and I was given the freedom of choice. My fingers trembled as I hesitantly reached for the door handle and my heart pounded so violently that I was certain it was going to beat right out of my chest. I struggled to control my breathing as heavy breaths tumbled from between my lips before raspy gasps were once again inhaled before the process was repeated all over again. Courage overwhelmed my body as I took hold of the door handle. With one swift motion I drew the door back, revealing Harry in his weakest state yet.

There on the floor, in the furthest corner of the room sat Harry. His legs had been curled to his chest and his face buried in his knees leaving only the mayhem of tangled curls for me to view. My heart shattered like the billion pieces of broken glass he sat amongst. The reflective shards of the mirror I had broken earlier seemed so relevant to Harry because like that mirror he was broken too. It hurt to see him in such a fragile state though the image of him in the dark surrounded my pieces of broken glass had a strange beauty to it.

Quietly, I crept forward allowing my feet to carry me towards the boy before me. I was careful navigating my way amidst the broken glass, skirting around the pieces as quickly as possible. I gulped nervously as I saw little blood red tipped shards, the sight making me aware of the fact Harry had not been as careful as I.

He didn't look up as I carefully brushed the glass around him to the side, clearing it away from him so he wouldn't cut himself anymore of he moved. I cleared a small space beside him, making room for myself amidst the shattered glass to sit with the terribly broken boy. My back pressed to the wall as I slowly slipped down it as I joined Harry on the floor.

I peered at him quietly for a moment, watching as his chest rose and fell unevenly as his entire body trembled. Small whimpers were emitted into the darkness around us as, filling the deadly silence. Harry didn't so much as move a muscle to look at me, nor did he even acknowledge my presence he just seemed to act as though I didn't even exist. My lower lip was taken between my teeth as I nervously gazed down at him through teary eyes. My mind was telling me to let him be but my heart was telling me different. I came here to comfort him so that is exactly what I intended to do.

With tender love I reached out towards the boy I loved, delicately brushing my fingers down his bicep. Harry didn't look up and I honestly hadn't expected him to. It was obvious he was upset and I knew that sometimes it's easier just to be quiet as you comfort someone. In Harry's case this was true as he wasn't a big fan of expressing himself in words. My fingertips gently trailed over his bare back as I wrapped my arms round his body. There was no objection to my movements as I cuddled Harry close, in fact he appeared rather grateful for my comforting hold. His hands removed themselves from in front of his face before his arms coiled round my waist. My heart fluttered a little as his head became buried in the crook of my neck, fingers grappling at my clothing as he curled into my body, in desperate need for comfort.

Harry whimpered quietly into my neck as his warm tears dampened my skin. I was trying to soothe his as best I could but calming a boy who was carrying the pain of a lifetime wasn't as easy as you'd expect. For years he'd carried this great weight on his shoulders, keeping it all bottled up in side where the pain gradually grew and the weight became unbearable. For the first time in forever, he was able to release his pent up frustrations and pain because he finally had someone who was there to listen and more than willing to share the load. I quietly 'shhh' him as my fingers combed through his damp curls, my body gently rocking him as a mother would do with a small child. Harry had never experienced care towards him before me and I couldn't help but find it awfully depressing. No one had ever taken the time to care for him or listen to him. Harry's family had abandoned him in every way possible, he was non-existent to them.

"I-I'm sorry, Harry." I let out a choked sob, that of which matched one of his own. "I can't believe why anyone would treat you in such a disgusting, pitiful way."

Harry's body stiffened with my words, obviously finding discomfort in remembering the vile event he had been tricked into partaking in. It must have been truly horrible and I feel sick thinking about what had been done to him myself. I don't blame him for wanting to forget about something like that but it's not the sort of thing that can be easily erased from ones mind.

Harry's body contorted uncomfortably in my grasp as he as he tried to block out the awful memories that must have been running through his head. I rested my head atop of his for a moment, nuzzling my face into his mop of curls. I deeply inhaled his alluring scent as a small kiss was pressed to the top of his head in an attempt to calm the upset boy. It wasn't enough though, the thoughts he had done well to push to the back of his mind and forget had resurfaced and they were more powerful than I think even he had anticipated. This was confirmed as Harry abruptly pulled out of my grasp, his warm body evading me . I watched as he hurriedly stumbled to his feet, swaying slightly as he crossed the room. His off balance made it clear to me that his head was spinning and he was showing implicate signs of confusion.

For a sickening moment I thought he was going to wall but by some miracle he managed to stay on his feet. I quickly pushed myself up from the floor, treading carefully over the remaining glass. I cringed at the sight of the crimson trail of blood following in Harry's footsteps as he wobbled across the white tiled floor. I waist he'd as he fell to his knees in front of the toilet before throwing up once again. I silently dropped to the floor behind the trembling figure, my heart aching for him as I watched on. I carefully shuffled forward, my knees resting on either side of his calfs as I pressed the front of my body to his back. An arm wrapped around his middle, holding him tightly in support. Curls flopped in front of his eyes as he doubled forward over the toilet bowl, throwing up all his pain.

Delicate fingers combed through Harry's curls, brushing them back of his face. As I did so a desperate hand flew to where my own rested upon my stomach, entangling his fingers in my own as another wave of nausea washed over him. My hand squeezed tightly around his as I pressed small kisses to the nape of his neck, showing him how much I loved him.

Minutes past as Harry sat quietly panting desperately for breath. I knelt behind him, just holding him as I comforted him in the best way I could. I don't know how long we sat there, a few minutes? Ten? Twenty? Thirty? Maybe even an hour. Time always seemed to pass strangely when I was with Harry. He seemed to have calmed quite considerably since he first disappeared in here, he wasn't trembling anymore and his stomach had either settled or was too empty to let anything else out. Harry's breathing was still a little uneven, though much calmer than earlier which I was glad of. He seemed to be doing alright now and the knowledge of this was a relief.

"I'm going to go get you a glass of water, I'll be right back." I quietly announced.

He didn't respond but the gentle release of my hand was a sign that he was okay with it. A small smile graced my lips as I dipped my head down to softly press my lips to his earlobe before stumbling to my feet to get him that glass of water.

When I returned, I found Harry brushing his, obviously trying to rid himself of the awful taste in his mouth which I too had grown quite accustomed to of late. My fingers tightened a little in the glass of water in my hands as the vastly contrasting crimson on the white floor caught my eyes once again. He was bleeding and I hated that because his blood was my doing as I was the one who smashed the mirror and that meant I had hurt Harry.

Harry seemed to sense my presence, his body turning towards. A small lopsided smile was sent in my direction which caused a smile of my own to curl at my lips. He looked adorable with his toothbrush hanging out of his mouth and his nose slightly red from crying. I felt like grabbing his face and kissing him all over which I'm sure he wouldn't object to if I did. Even like this he was still the most beautiful, angelic creature I had ever seen.

Harry turned his back towards me again, putting his muscles on display as he bent over the sink to spit. I quietly waited as the tap was twisted on and his toothbrush rinsed beneath the water before being set down on the side of the sink. Harry quickly ran his hands through the disarray of curls on top of his head in an attempt to tame them. I smiled at the sight of his mess of curls knowing they were never going to do as they were told, especially not at the length they were currently at, he could barely see through them.

"You really need a haircut." I smiled teasingly as he turned around.

A grin laced his lips as he stepped towards me. "I know." He chuckled. "I was thinking about a buzz cut."

My eyes widened in horror with his suggestion. There was absolutely no way I was letting him chop off his beautiful curls. I don't know what I would do without out his luscious locks which I adore running my fingers through, just as much as he enjoys it. I don't care if I have to tie him up, he's keeping his curls.

"Why would you want to do that?" I ask feeling slightly upset by the idea of his curls disappearing.

"I don't, I just wanted to see your reaction, it makes me smile." He laughed as I lightly pushed at his chest both glad and embarrassed by the fact he'd tricked me.

"I would tip this water over your head if we were in a different situation, but luckily for you I'm feeling nice." I replied, blushing slightly.

"You're always nice." Harry whispered, his eyes deeply set on mine as he took a step forward.

"No I'm not." I shook my head.

I wasn't always nice. I could be a downright bitch when I wanted to. I don't know why he would say something like that when I've been pretty mean to him on more than one occasion and lets not forget the number of times I've slapped him across the cheek. Harry may have deserved it but it still wasn't nice. My mother and I don't get on and I've said some pretty nasty stuff to other people before. The way Harry says it sounds as though he's referring to me as being perfect. I'm not though, I'm just as flawed as the next person and I'm not always nice. He's crazy if he thinks that.

"You're the kindest person I've ever met and there isn't a bad bone in you're beautiful body." He whispered. "You're nice to everyone, sometimes too nice. That's why other guys always try to flirt with you because you're too damn nice to tell them to get lost. I love you."

My heart fluttered with his words. The way he was looking at me wasn't a lustful gaze but it was one that showed the depth of his love. It was beautiful to see how he felt about me and the look in those green eyes made me want to cry. Harry was the sweetest guy I'd ever met and though he wasn't that good with words what he had said warmed my heart and made me feel tingly from head to toe.

Before I really knew what I was doing, the glass of water was holding had been set down on my currently empty bookshelf. I soon broke out of my slight daze only to find my legs carrying me towards Harry, his big emerald eyes twinkling at me like the stars in the night sky. My arms found their way around his neck as I pulled him into a loving embrace. It was difficult not to love Harry and I can't quite believe why none of his family cared about him even the slightest. He had such a beautiful heart even after everything he had been out through. Harry was the most extraordinary person I had ever met and I couldn't believe the people he needed most in his life were too blind to realise that.

"I love you, Harry, I love you so much." I whispered softly in his ear as he nuzzled his face into my neck, holding me close. "

After a couple of moments we pulled away and I went to retrieve Harry's water. When I came back he was inspecting the blood covered floor, glancing between the obvious red and his own too feet. It was only now that he seemed to realise that he'd cut his feet on the broken shards of the mirror I had smashed.

"Sorry, I kind of bled on your floor." He chuckled lightly as I handed him the glass of water.

"I'm sorry I broke the mirror and about your feet." I responded. "I smashed it literally about two seconds before you arrived."

"You're turning into me." Harry scowled. "I smash shit, not you."

I just smiled because little did he know that this wasn't the first time is smashed something because I was pissed. I'd broken quite a few things in the most recent weeks after my fathers death. I'd broken various things from an alarm clock to a window, though the window was more by accident as I hadn't meant throw the alarm clock at the window. I was a mess at the time and I cant imagine how my friends and family must have felt. I was a total wreck.

"Nat?" Harry asked quietly as he averted his gaze to the floor. "Could you please get something out of my bag as I don't want to bleed all over your carpet."

I cocked my head a little to the side as I peered at him through dark lashes. I would quite happily get him anything he wanted, but he was going to need to specify what exactly he needed me to retrieve.


I watched as Harry nervously bit down on his lower lip, contemplating whether or not to get me to retrieve whatever he needed. The way he appeared so nervous made me feel a little uneasy. I had a strange feeling that whatever it was he wanted me to retrieve for him wasn't something of which he wanted to discuss. Harry's tongue smoothly glided over the plumpness of his full lips as he wet them before opening his mouth to speak.

"I need you to retrieve a bottle of pills at the very bottom of my bag in that little inside compartment."

I gulped nervously, giving him a small nod of my head as I turned to exit the bathroom. I didn't have to ask to know what type of pills I was retrieving. It wasn't difficult to depict the fact he wanted me to retrieve the antidepressants I had only recently discovered he took. It saddened me to think he felt shit about himself all the time yet I didn't even know about his depression. If I had of thought about it harder maybe I would have realised and maybe I wouldn't be feeling quite so bad about discovering this. The thing was he seemed normal ninety nine percent of the time, it was only when he spoke of his past that he seemed unstable and that came off as being normal to me. People get upset when they think about sad memories and things that hurt them.

I crouched down beside his near empty bag as most of its contents were strewn across the floor. My fingers dipped inside, brushing the few remaining items aside as I peeked down past the opening. I felt around a little, searching for the small, hidden compartment Harry spoke of. There was a small bump in one of the corners and it took me a moment of searching around it to discover the small zip that gave me access to whatever it was inside. Gently I coaxed the zipper open, slipping my hand into the hidden compartment that Harry had never intended on me finding. It hurt knowing he had kept this from me, I don't understand why he would do that after all that's happened between us. I want to help him and love him and this secret quite frankly hurts like a bitch.

I let out a small sigh as I brought Harry's medication from the depths of the bag. The small pills inside rattled around the practically full container. Oh Harry. His mental issues didn't make me feel any different about him but the fact he'd kept them from me made me really sad. I had told him all my darkest secrets and worst nightmares and still he kept his closely confined and hidden away deep within himself.

A single tear slipped down my cheek as I got to my feet, clutching the small container tightly between my fingers. I quickly brushed the salty droplet away before heading back in the direction of the bathroom where I found Harry sitting on the edge of the bathtub, sipping on his water. He looked up as I rendered the room, though he didn't smile because both of us knew this was another thing we had to discuss.

I handed him the bottle of pills without saying a word. Folding my arms across my chest, I watched as he unscrewed the cap, avoiding my gaze as he slipped two small pills into the palm of his hand. Harry gazed down at the two small objects in disgust, clearly stating his hatred for the objects. A moment later, he shoved them in his mouth before chugging the whole glass of water down alongside them.

"Why didn't you tell me, Harry?!" I blurt out unintentionally, my eyes welling with tears upon witnessing my fallen angel swallow two antidepressant pills.

Harry didn't respond for a moment, instead he simply screwed the cap back onto the container. He was avoiding my gaze as he fiddled with the container, flipping it over and over again as if he were taking time to read the label prescribed to him though I knew he was only stalling. My chest tightened as I watched him, wishing I could reach inside his mind and discover all the things he was thinking. It pained me to see him like this and it pained me to know he was still reluctant to tell me.

I let out a huff of annoyance, deeply hurt by his lack of response and his further confinement of a secret I already knew. It infuriated me to know what was wrong with him yet not to know why and that hurt much more than knowing or not knowing because I was trapped between, lost in the unknown like purgatory is trapped between heaven and hell. I swiftly turned on my heel, unable to look at him anymore without knowing why. Harry was only digging himself a deeper hole that he would eventually have to climb out of and I wasn't about to stand around all day to watch him do it. As I began to leave, a faint whisper that fell from Harry's lips caught my ear, making me freeze. It was barley audible but I heard it all the same and what I heard broke my heart.

"B-because I thought you wouldn't love me anymore."

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