Death Ever After

"I am not a good person. I'm a liar, and a thief, and a murderer. So what am I doing here?"
Tilly Donner is bad. Very bad. In fact, she's about as bad as they come. So when a premature death allows her to enter heaven, surely there is some mistake? Little does she know, what is commonly accepted as 'heaven' is not all its cracked up to be.
*Runner up in the Afterlife competition*


4. An Alternative veiw to Heaven

'What is this place?' I ask myself, as I wander aimlessly. The scenery is unchanging; perfect blue sky, endless field of clouds, long, never-ending banquet table. I have passed several more people in my roving, all with the same tired, resigned expressions as the man I met earlier.

Why does everyone look so miserable, so tired, so bored? If this is heaven, why aren't they happy? And where is God? Isn't he supposed to be around here somewhere?

"Where am I?" I say to the expanse, frustrated.

"You know, you seem to ask that rather a lot, wouldn't you say?"

Idling towards me at a leisurly pace is the old man from the 'entrance hall'. Finally, someone to give me some answers.

"I want to know what this place is. If this is heaven, why is everyone so unhappy? What is going on? Why am I here; I don't deserve to be in heaven! What's going on?"

The words tumble out thick and fast, my voice getting higher and higher with each syllable. If the man notices this, he doesn't comment, doesn't do anything except pick unconcernedly at his cuticles, a knowing smile playing around the corners of his mouth.

"Well, my my, that's rather a lot of questions, wouldn't you say?"

"Before I answer - and yes, I am going to answer - I'd better introduce myself. I am, you might say, God. That is, I certainly created this whole afterlife setup, but I've never really liked the term God. Much too attention-grabbing, wouldn't you say?"

God? This tiny, wizened old man was God? Shouldn't I be down on one knee or something like that? I consider, and make do with ducking my head slightly.

The man - 'God' - continues in his high, reedy voice:

"Let's start at the beginning. This most certainly is heaven, didn't I tell you as much when you entered? But, you see, the mortal interpretation of heaven is rather off my interpretation. Mortals look at the blue sky and limitless food and think what a delight life in heaven must be. But to be here for all eternity? Have you ever truly considered what that must be like? Pure perfection, day after day, for the rest of time? Good heavens, forgive the pun by the way, how boring. You see, the only ones who really ever come to heaven are the ones who need to be, er, shall I put it, punished. Which, of course, explains your presence hear my dear. Contract killer, wasn't it? Mmm, yes, definitely punishable. But anyway, my point is, that the lucky ones, the people who lead their mortal lives good and honestly, are the ones whose souls are buried with their bodies, and go quite simply into nonbeing. The evil, sinful ones are the ones who end up here. You see, after so many years, I have become so tired of immortality that I have become rather bitter and resentful. And so, the good, honest folk are given the peace and quiet of death, while those lying, sinful souls end up here, to suffer eternity alongside me."



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