Losing Grip On Reality

Two different worlds collide, when Isabella Swan has to go undercover to investigate Jasper Whitlock. Can she keep up the lies or will her true identity be revealed? Are they both losing their grip on the reality? J/B AH


3. Chapter three

Chapter three


I’m glad I’m back in the safety of my apartment. I don’t know how long I could have continued my act.

When Jasper told me that we had to go to the hospital, I was afraid that my cover would be blown. I had texted Edward to let him in on Jasper’s plans.

He’d replied that his father was working today and that he would know what was happening. You’ve got to love Dr. Carlisle Cullen. I’d also deleted all the messages that were sent just in case Jasper would find and check my phone.

I check my watch. Edward will be here soon, so I go into my bedroom and put on some comfortable clothes. The buzzer goes off, and I buzz him in without asking who’s there.

I open the door of my apartment and I go back to the living room. A couple of minutes later, Edward walks through my door.

“Hi, little sis.” He comes to me and hugs me very close to him. “I’m sorry for hurting you.”

“If you didn’t, nobody would have believed it,” I tell him. “You did well.”

“You too.”

“What did my father say?” he asks.

“The injury isn’t that bad, but he said that you gripped a little too hard. It’s nothing that won’t heal.”

“I’m really sorry,” he repeats.

“Stop it,” I say. “It had to happen.”

“I know,” Edward whispers. “But that doesn’t take away the guilt.”

“You have to go soon,” I whisper. This is the last night I’m seeing Edward for a very long time. From now on, I’ll be on my own. I honestly don’t know if I can handle it.

“I know. Be strong, Bellsie.” Edward deliberately uses the nickname that he and Emmett came up with for me. He hugs me closer to him. “They’ve already done a background check on us, so that means that Jasper doesn’t trust anybody.”

“So he knows of my so-called drug past?”

Edward nods. “I have to go. Take care, Bellsie.”

I nod. “Say hi to everyone and tell them that I’m okay.”

Edward nods, kisses my cheek and then leaves my apartment. I walk to the window and see him get in his car.

This is the moment that I completely become Isabella Matthews, single and desperate to start dating Jasper Whitlock.


The next evening, I go back to Eclipse and take my place at the bar. Felix walks up to me, and he kisses my cheek.

“Hi, Izzy,” he greets me. “How is your arm?”

“Great! It’s just a bruise,” I tell him. “Tomorrow I can take the bandage off.”

“Rum and Coke?” he asks me, and I nod. He makes my drink, serves it, and goes to other customers. I look around the bar and see the girl from yesterday sitting with Jasper. She sits rather close to him.

“Who’s that?” I ask Felix as I’m looking at the girl.

“That’s Alice Brandon,” Felix answers. “She’s Jasper’s on-and-off girlfriend.”

“She’s a midget,” I say.

“Yes, but she always gets what she wants,” Felix murmurs. “And she wants Jasper as her husband.”

“Are they together now?” I ask Felix.

“It appears so.” Felix presents me another drink. “They must’ve gotten back together today, because they were fighting until last night.”

I sigh. If Alice is Jasper’s girlfriend, then it will make things more complicated. I turn back around, and Felix looks at me curiously.

“Are you crushing on my boss?” he asks eventually.

I shrug. “He was very helpful last night, after he got a blowjob from whorenurse Jessica.”


“Apparently, when the doctor was examining me, he found it necessary to have his dick sucked by a nurse in a closet or something,” I explain.

“Sounds like Jasper.” Felix laughs. “That’s the reason why he and Alice are always breaking up. He can’t keep it in his pants.”

I laugh and look to where they were sitting. Apparently, the lovely couple is already back to fighting.

“I don’t think they will last long,” I taunt. Felix follows my look and starts to laugh.

“And they’re off again.”

I sip from my drink and watch the scene escalate. Another guy asks for a dance, and I comply. This is the perfect opportunity to act like I don’t care that Jasper has another woman in his life.


The night goes well, and I decide to go home. On my way to my apartment building I start to think about the night’s events.

I danced with a lot of guys and flirted equally with all of them. During the night I felt eyes on me I knew who was watching me, but I didn’t look at him.

I’m acting cool around him, so that eventually he’ll come to me. Felix smiled at how I acted the whole night.

My cab driver stops before my building, and I pay him before getting out. My cell rings, and I look to see I’ve got a new text.

I will talk with the boss about the job. – F

I smile. Felix and I exchanged our numbers, and he even asked me on a date. I told him that I don’t date. His respond was that he was going to pick me up and bring me to one of Jasper’s clubs and that we will see how the night goes.

I walk up the stairs to my apartment while typing an answer.

Do you think he would want an inexperienced waitress? – B

I open my door, kick off my heels, and walk to the kitchen. I receive another text.

I will convince him. – F

Thanks. I’m going to bed now. – B

All alone? Need some company?  – F

I type my answer and have to stop myself from laughing.

No, with mister Bunny. x – B

I leave my phone on the kitchen counter and walk through my bedroom to the bathroom. I remove my clothes and step into the shower. I let the water cascade around my body, relaxing my muscles.

When the water starts to become cold, I shut down the water, and step outside. I towel myself dry. Afterwards, I dress myself in boy shorts and a t-shirt.

I go back to the living room and look at my phone. I smile when I see I’ve received another text. I laugh at Felix’s answer.

Who the fuck is Mr. Bunny?! x – F

For me to know, for you to find out. x – B

I will get the answer out of you. x – F

I laugh and send him one last text.

See you tomorrow. Sleep well! x – B

I walk back to my bedroom and tuck myself in. I fall into a dreamless sleep.


The next morning I’m woken up by my doorbell. I take my pillow and put it over my head, but it slides down again. The doorbell rings again.

Ugh, who the hell rings at my door?

I step out of my bed and go to the buzzer.

“Hello,” I mumble sleepily.

“Izzy?” a male voice asks.

“Yeah,” I mumble back. “Who is this?”

“Jasper.” I immediately wake up.

“Uuuh….” I hesitate only a second. “Come in.” I push the buzzer. and open the door of my apartment. I look at the clock on the wall across the door. Oh, it’s already eleven o’clock.

I step into my kitchen and make some coffee. I’m in a desperate need of a dose of caffeine. I take another look around the apartment. It actually looks very comfortable and luxurious.

The living room, dining room, and the kitchen are one big space, where a bar separates the kitchen from the other two areas. There is a huge terrace with garden furniture at the front of the building. At the other side of the room is a small hallway that leads to the master bedroom and the guest room. Both rooms have their own bathroom.

I can’t believe that my bosses could afford such a spacious and luxurious apartment, but I know that I have to look the part. I’m a wealthy girl, and it would be ridiculous if I were living in a cheap rabbit hole of an apartment.

“Good morning.” Jasper’s voice pulls me out of my thoughts. I never heard him come in.

I look up. His eyes are roaming my body, and I can feel myself blushing.

That’s the only weird part of me. I project a very confident character, but when somebody is checking me out, I become very shy, and I always blush.

“Good morning,” I greet him back. “What are you doing here so early?”

Jasper smiles. “I didn’t get the chance to speak to you last night.”

“Oh,” I say. “I know. You were far too busy with your girlfriend.”

“I don’t have a girlfriend,” he responds.

“Come on, Jasper. Don’t lie to me,” I tease. “I even saw you leaving with her last night.”

“Alice is just a fuck buddy,” he states while looking straight into my eyes. “We don’t have a relationship.”

“That’s not what I’ve heard,” I argue.

“Felix has to mind his own damn business.” Jasper looks angry at my last words.

I walk up to the cupboard and take a mug. “Coffee?”

He nods, and I take a second mug. I pour in coffee and give him his cup.

“Are you mad?” Jaspers asks silently.

“Should I be?” I ask him.

Jasper shrugs. “I don’t know.”

“Does Alice know that she’s just a fuck buddy?” I ask him after I take a sip of my coffee. The look on his face tells me enough He looks scared, but at the same time I can see that he knows that Alice doesn’t know the extension of their relationship. Besides that I can also see that he doesn’t care that he’s hurting the girl. “That’s what I thought.”

It becomes silent, and I take another sip.

“It’s not like I haven’t told her a million times,” he explains. “But I don’t think she gets it.”

“Look, Jasper, I’m not one to say what you can and cannot do,” I tell him.


“But women have feelings too.”

“I know that.”

“Then show that you know, and stop using women for your own needs.”

Jasper looks guilty, and I’m starting to regret my words. While my police side told me that I did the right thing, personally I feel like I overstepped a boarder. I want to apologize when he holds up a hand.

“Don’t apologize for telling me the truth,” he tells me.

I smile. “I’ve put you in your place?”

I want to take a sip from my coffee when I discover that my mug is empty. I pour another cup and offer Jasper some more too. He shakes his head no.

“Did you have breakfast yet?” I ask him. Another shake of his head. “Want me to make some?”

“I’ve got another idea,” he says. “Why don’t we go out to eat?”

I am surprised, but I agree.


We are sitting in the diner where I’m eating a stack of very delicious pancakes. Jasper is eatingbacon and eggs.

“I have a question for you,” Jasper suddenly says. I look at him and let him know he can fire away.

“Why are you flirting with every man that comes within two feet of you?”

I almost choke on my food.

Because my boss told me so. “I think it’s fun,” I answer, before I can say what I’m really thinking.

“Fun?” Jasper looks at me like he doesn’t believe me. I shrug.

“All the men paying attention to me. What girl doesn’t want that?”

“All the girls, but that doesn’t mean you have to act on it.”

I take a bite from my pancakes and look outside at a busy street of New York. I try to find a reason as to why a girl would act like that. I know from my experience at the precinct that it could be all kinds of different reasons. I just have to find the one that fits with me.

“Is it because of Anthony?” Jasper asks. I look at him and immediately divert my eyes. I don’t answer his question, and I look back outside.

“You have no idea why?” I whisper and then I look back at him. “Don’t try to figure me out.” I put down my fork and stand up.

“Wait!” Jasper calls. “Don’t go.”

“Why?” I question him. “So you can try to decipher me?”

I take my purse and start to walk away, but before I leave the diner, I turn around and look at him. “I’m not a charity case.”

I walk through the busy streets back to my apartment. I know it’s a good thing that Jasper is interested in me, but I want to be hard to get.

My phone rings, and I dig through the mess in my purse. When I finally find it, I see that I have a text.

I’m coming over. – D

I know this is some guy from my unit who’s coming to see me to make sure that my superiors stay up to date with my progress. This is one of the main reasons that I feel safe. I know they will send someone from time to time to keep up with information and to see if everything is okay.

I arrive at my building and go upstairs immediately. I clean the mugs from this morning and go out on the terrace.

I look over the city and start to cry. This is a difficult life, and I don’t know if I can control my emotions any longer. The lies, the loneliness; everything makes this life difficult.

The doorbell buzzes and I wipe away my tears. I push the buzzer and because I know who I’m expecting, I let my apartment door open, while I go sitting on the sofa in the living room and wait till the officer is inside my apartment.

Footsteps are coming closer and I look up. I see Marcus Tylers standing in front of me. He’s one of the older officers of my department. He’s very protective of all the younger officers. I smile at him.

He smiles back and sits down.

“Isabella, how are you?”

“Fine,” I answer. He furrows a brow and gives me a look that tells me that he doesn’t believe me.

“Then why are your eyes red and puffy?”

I look at him, and take a deep breath. “The loneliness is getting to me.”

“You have to be strong,” Marcus says. “I know it’s hard, but if you don’t stay strong, this will all be for nothing.”

I nod. “Do you want anything to drink?”

He shakes his head. “Did you get closer to Whitlock?”

Okay, he’s immediately getting down to business. I just nod, stand up and walk to the fridge. I take a bottle of water and go back to the sofa.

“He is talking to me, but I don’t know if we are going to get together.”


“He’s a player. He has three women on every finger.”

“Is that a problem?”

I shake my head and take a sip.

“No, but I want to be as close as possible, and I think it would be best that I’m his exclusive girlfriend and not one of his fuck buddies,” I explain to Marcus.

“I understand, but I don’t think Newton would understand this.”

“I don’t care,” I tell him. “He asked me to do this, and I’m going to do this my way.”

Marcus nods. “Okay, is there something else?”

“Jasper asked me why I’ve become this cold bitch.”

“What did you…” Marcus is interrupted by the doorbell. He looks questioningly at me. “Do you expect someone?”

I shake my head no. I step to the buzzer. “Hello,” I greet.

“Isabella,” Jasper’s voice greets me. I look shocked at Marcus.

“Jasper, what are you doing here?”

Marcus immediately stands up and comes to me.

“Let me in, please,” Jasper begs.

“Why would I?” I ask him. “You’re only here to analyze me.”

“Please?” I can hear the regret in his voice.

“Alright, come in,” I tell him while pushing the buzzer. I open the apartment door, and then look at Marcus. “What are we going to do?”

“What we have discussed before,” he answers. “I’m your dealer.”

I nod, take my purse and look for money. Marcus walks to me, with a package of drugs, and I look at him surprised. He just shrugs. He gives me the drugs and takes the money, and right at that moment Jasper walks inside my apartment.

“Isabella?” He looks surprised at the scene.

“I'll see you later,” I tell Marcus while helping him outside.

“Text me.” Marcus goes to the stairs, and I close the door and turn to look at Jasper.

“Who is he?” Jasper asks angrily.

“A guy,” I answer coolly.

“I’m not blind I can see that he’s a guy.” He comes closer and takes my hand with the drugs in it.

“Then why do you ask?” I ask him, pulling my hand back. “If you know the answer.”

I’m walking into my bedroom, and I can hear Jasper following.

“Stop,” I tell him. “This room is private, or do you want to fuck?”

He shakes his head.

“Then go back.” I close my door and try to look around. I have to hide the drugs, so when Jasper decides to look for them, he thinks I’m hiding them from him.

When I find the right place, I go back to the living room. Jasper is standing at the window.

“Why are you here?” I ask him. He turns around and gives me a weak smile.

“I want to talk.”

“Didn’t you say enough this morning?”

He shakes his head. “I…”

I hold up my hand. “Stop. Don’t apologize!”

“Izzy, let me…”


“Why are you so cold?” he wonders out loud. “It’s like somebody hurt you very bad.”

I look at him and then away. I think I have found an amazing excuse. I just have to tell my bosses so they can add it to my files.

“Don’t act like you know me.”

“I don’t act like I know you, but…”

“But what?” I scream.

“I want to know you.” He takes a step closer and takes my hand. “I have this weird desire to want to know you much better. Your bad habits, your good qualities. I want to know everything about you.”

This confession, I didn’t expect. I look into his eyes and see that he’s telling the truth.

“I’m not a girl you can fuck,” I whisper. He steps closer and pushes my hair behind my ear.

“I know that,” he whispers. “I really know that. I just want you to let me in.”

I look into his blue eyes, and I start to lose myself in them. He inches closer, and his thumb goes to my lips.

“So beautiful,” he whispers, and I start to feel weird things in my body. I step back and shake my head, and I look back up.

“I think you should go,” I murmur.

He looks hurt, but I try not to let it get to me.

“Please, go.” I can feel tears forming in my eyes. Jasper lets his hand drop and takes a step back.

“Okay,” he says, and several seconds later I hear the door opening and closing. I walk to the terrace and look down. I can just see Jasper getting into his car and drive away.

Those weird feelings are fading and I walk back inside.

What the hell happened?

My cell phone rings, and I look at it. I see it’s a text from Jasper. I ignore it. Another text arrives, but it is from Felix. I smile and open it.

We’re still on for tonight? x – F

Pick me up at 8. x – B

I prepare a sandwich for lunch and put myself in front of the television. There is a Yankee game on this afternoon. I hope by watching it, I will feel closer to my family.

During the game I’m trying to plan out my seduction of Jasper Whitlock.

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