It all started with a smile

What happens when you meet a guy that makes you smile? What happens when you fall in love with that guy that you know will never love you back? What happens when you build your walls up so high that you don't see what's really going on? What happens when he tries to remove the wall, brick by brick? Will you push him away? Will you break his heart? Or...Will you let him show you what love really is? Find out in "It all started with a smile"


21. The truth

Connor's POV

Why the fuck can't I resist holding her hand? I guess she is right, she is kissable, lovable, everything I would ever want in a girl, and she drives me nuts, when she talked to that dude Taylor, I don't know what came over me but I couldn't think straight, I wanted to walk right up to them, kiss her and pull her away from him, because she was mine. But she isn't.

And she will never be, yes we might act like a couple, holding hands and all, but it is always me that makes the first move, maybe she's feeling sorry for me. Call me stupid, but I actually did feel like we were a couple, laughing on the plane, watching a movie on the plane, telling jokes...

When I saw her crying after that dude left I felt so broken and so angry at the same time, I clenched my jaw and my fists before walking to her, trying to be as calm as I could. But to tell you the truth I was realived, realived to know that that guy had a girlfriend, I mean by the way he looked at her and twirled her around, I hoped that me and Tammy would turn out to be that way.

And then when she told me she was kissable, the first thing, well person that came to my mind was JC. He kissed my girl, he got to kiss Tammy, and that was the thing that killed me inside, and I felt my blood boil and my heart beat fast. I never wanted her to kiss him, not even then. I liked her than but I guess I was too big of a coward to admit that to myself. Those beautiful lips of her's kissed JC's lips... And with what JC told us, she was a good kisser, but I guess I'll never know.

I looked over to her as we walked, her smile not on her face anymore, she was deep in thought, bitting her lip and looking straight ahead of her. I didn't knew if I should snap her out of her train of thoughts but I did.

"So, can you tell me Taylor's love story?" I asked  squeezed her hand, her head snapped up at me and she nodded

"Well, that girl that he loves and that will be his wife, was actually his friend, and then he told me how he felt and that she was his even though he didn't knew that, and yeah it kinda you know... got me all emotional...I'm a succer for true love, don't tell anyone" she joked at the end, but it was obvious that she could feel for that guy, like she had the same feelings for someone else. I could just tell by the way her eyes watered and the way her lips trembled slightly as she spoke.


She likes JC.

That's fucking it. She likes him! Or Ricky or even Kian! But I think it's JC

For fucking sake!

I let go of her hand, trying to calm down and think straight, but I couldn't. I picked up the pace and said

"Come on".. I didn't even bother to look back at her, even the slightest part of hope was gone.

Tammy's POV

He... He doesn't feel the same way, that's that. He... he let go of my hand because it started to get akward for him, he knows I like him now, and he's not accepting it well, he's pushing me away.

Wow, I never knew it would hurt this much.

I catched up to him and walked beside him, completely unsure of what to do This was gonna be akward since he knows I like him. Fuck, I ruined everything.

We didn't talk to each other or even look at each other as we examined the first apartment, well I glanced to him from time to time but he didn't pay me any attention. I should have gave up in the first place. Why the fuck was I so fucking sure he would feel the same way. I mean I thought about it before he asked me about the love story. I thought about the chances of him liking me and they seemed so big, but I guess they just aren't.

I gave myself false hope and I never will get over that. Fucking idiot, letting myself fall in love with a boy that never will be mine. I'm so dumb, i'm such an idiot!

Connor's POV

I breathed heavily, in and out, sometimes I would glance at her lovely little figure, she was stunnning,she was beautiful, she was special, and it all killed me.

While we were looking around the first apartment she looked sad, pretty pretty sad. Maybe because I'm ignoring her, definitely because of that, orrr because she misses JC, or Ricky or Kian.

Wait Connor! She opened up to you and now you're ignoring her, did she ignor you when you started dating that girl, whatever her name was? Well she kinda did...

But you don't want to go back to that state again? No, I don't want to...

I guess conversations with myself are always good. I walked over to her as we exited the apartment and told the guy named Josh that had to show us around the apartments

"Sorry we don't like it, it's not our style" Josh nodded and I could see him drawing an X on our file that he was holding in his hands.

"We have one more apartment, there aren't that much free apartments here in LA, it's always busy here, maybe you should have given us an early aplication, this way we won't find what you are looking for" he said without looking up at us

"It's ok, let's see that one more and then maybe we could go have some coffee together Tammy" I asked and looked over at her, she had her head down, not paying much attention as I spoke, but when she heard her name, her head snapped up and she smiled weakly and nodded, I smiled back and winked. I missed that smile.

We walked towards the apartment, Josh giving us details about it when I subconciously took Tammy's hand and then quickly let go of it. It's a mistake.

The walk was short and the next apartment looked pretty damn small for four guys to stay there, JC, Kian Ricky and me. And maybe Tam could come from time to time. I promised her that her life will be better and I didn't lie. It will. I'm gonna be the best friend I could be, I can't let myself to lose her completely.

I glanced to Tammy from time to time, she still looked sad, but happier than before. I didn't like the apartment at all, at all. It was small, rusty, old, not my or any of the boys style.

"Josh, could we look at some houses, I know you said that you had some in plan, so yeah" I said to Josh as he started explaing since when was this house here, and francly I couldn't care less, I knew it was from when dinosaurs were on this planet.

"I thought you said you didn't want to look at them, and that you are looking for a apartment" Josh said and tilted his head as he slid his fingers up and down the kitchen counter, Tammy walked over to us and looked up at Josh as I leaned against the fridge, and I heard a noice before pulling away

"Well I changed my mind, I don't want a living space that can be broken this simply" I said and folded my hands across my chest

"Ok, sir" Josh said and we walked out.

We took a taxi to this one house Josh said I would really like, it had a pool, lot's off free space in the backyard, free bedrooms, and well it was more expensive but you have to pay for quility and well I wouldn't mind giving more money up to get a place I really want.

I will always get more money, YouTube helps a lot with that.

When Josh stopped and when I looked out of the window, I could have sworn that my jaw dropped, the house was big and it looked cozy but still up to date. I walked outiside the car and opened the door for Tammy with one swift move, she wasn't expecting that, but that's what friends do.

She looked up at the house and said

"Wow, I like it" I nodded and said

"Yeah me too"

"Come on you two" Josh said with a small smile on his lips, probably happy that we liked something.

We walked into the house and it was even more beautiful on the inside, everything was already decorated, the furniture was there, and it looked amazing, the walls were covered in inspiring photos like "Be yourself, everyone else is taken" "The greatest journeys begin with the smallest of steps"... I loved it.

Josh showed us around the whole house, explaing how I only needs to buy like plates, glasses, sheets, and stuff. He explained how this house may be a little over the budget but that it was definitely worth it.

And he was right.

"Well I showed you everything, feel free to look around, and I'll be downstairs in the living room, shout if you get lost" he joked and left, Tammy giggled slightly at his joke as she walked around the empty room that will be my room, she looked out of the window and smiled

"You'll have the best view Connor" she said and I walked over to her, standing beside her and looking out of the big window

"Yeah" I said without even looking out, she was so beautiful, the way the light shined on her, she was my light,she was my source of light, of positivity, yes I had great friends and all, but she could light up my life with one single smile.

She was special to me, maybe not to everyone, but to me she was.

I don't know what came over me but I thought about it since we started looking, it might have seemed that we were lookin for our own place, and I didn't mind it. I kinda hoped that in a certain part of our relationship we would do that. But we're not in a relationship.

She looked back at me and she giggled

"You didn't even look outiside silly" I smiled and cupped her cheek, testing my luck by leaning in, her eyes widen, and for a second I thought she would pull away, but she didn't. She was shocked but she placed her hands on my waist and leaned in closing her eyes, I opened my eyes one last time, checking if she would pull away. She didn't.

I didn't want to lose her, ever. I wanted her to remain my light, to remain like this, and I was brave enough to go after what I want, and that's her.

It will always be her.

Wowww, I like this chapter, hope you like it and thanks for reading. Please comment down below what you think of it and stuff :) Just communicate with me :) xx

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