It all started with a smile

What happens when you meet a guy that makes you smile? What happens when you fall in love with that guy that you know will never love you back? What happens when you build your walls up so high that you don't see what's really going on? What happens when he tries to remove the wall, brick by brick? Will you push him away? Will you break his heart? Or...Will you let him show you what love really is? Find out in "It all started with a smile"

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22. The truth is that I can't be without you

Tammy's POV

Why is Connor such a complicated boy, first he ignores me completely, then he wants to have coffee with me, then he holds my hand and quickly lets go, then he opens the door for me and then...

Then he kisses me.

At first I was pretty shocked, OK I was gonna have  a heart attack, but I didn't want it to stop. This boy will be the death of me..

As soon as I felt his lips on mine everything made sense, he was mine even before, he gave me subtle signs that I somehow missed, well being the stupid, insecure me it's no miracle that I actually missed those signs. His lips molded with mine in this perfection.

I moved my lips against his slowly and lovingly, putting every bit of love I had in it. In this kiss.. Our first kiss. Hopping it wasn't our last kiss.

He placed his other hand on my other cheek and came closer to me, our bodies touching, I could feel the heat radiating from his body, I could feel his soft lips sliding against mine in the slowest of paces, and I loved it. It was filled with so much love that I thought I would colapse.

I never wanted to break this kiss but we had to. Why do we have to breathe???!

He puled away and looked into my eyes, them twinkling and having that spark of happiness I always loved, they were looking into mine, like they were looking for some answers and that's when it slipped from my mouth.

"I love you Connor" I just admited my love for him and I couldn't felt more worried and more free.

His eyes widened but his lips turned into this big smile that spread across his face, he bit his lip before pecking my lips and resting his forehead against mine as he let his hands fall on my waist and me lifting my hands around his neck

"I love you Tamara" Connor whispered and closed his eyes, me joining him.

My stomach was filled with those big butterflies, that just made me smile wider and wider. I wanted him to repeat that every single moment of my life, I wanted everything to just stop and let me enjoy this moment, let me enjoy the only time that I really really felt loved, and not like a waste of space.

The only thing that made a sound in this room was our breathing, and I could even hear Connor's heart beating, slowly.

"What made you decide to tell me?" I asked, with a million other questions in my mind. He chuckled and said

"Well I don't know actually, maybe the fact that I realised I didn't want to lose you. The honest truth is that I can't be without you, I don't know how I will survive moving here"

My heart skipped a beat. He couldn't be without me?

I ignored the huge ache in my chest the whole time we were here, he was gonna move. And it came like a slap on my face. He was gonna be here, this kiss wouldn't mean anything, I mean LA isn't that close and he can't travel there all the time and I can't just move here. I pulled completely away, and his eyes widened, sadness dripping from his eyes

"Tammy?" he asked, his voice cracking and his tone worried

"This won't mean anything Connor" I statted and bit my lip, trying to be strong. When all I wanted was to collapse into his arms

"Tammy, h-how can you say that I mean.. you just said you l-l-loved me" he asked, his eyes filling up with tears as he took a step towards me, and I took a step back. I can't let myself fall in love with him more, I can't. When I knew he would be here and I would be in fucking MInnesota.

"And I meant it Connor, but how do you think this will ever work? Minnesota is so far away from LA and I can't be in a relationship with you when we're so far apart. I was never a fan of the long distance relationship thing" I said and he let a couple of tears run down his face, before he wipped them, I wanted to do that for him, but then I would make it harder for him and for me.

"You could come here sometimes? I know you can't move here, but at least just for a week or so when you're on vacation, or when it's weekends you can stay here, we could Skype, talk everyday, I could fly to Minnesota and see you, please Tammy don't push me away, and don't give up on something that hasn't even started" he said and ran his fingers through his hair as I nervously played with the hem of my hoodie.

He was right, I always gave up on something before it even started, I gave up on Ed even before I met him, I gave him an exparattion date for how long he will keep me, I gave up on him and I shouldn't have because he is absolutely the best foster dad I ever had.

Maybe I'm wrong with Connor too. Maybe we could make this work.

"Connor, I don't want to be a burden to you" I whispered and that's when he eased the whoe tension by chuckling

"You'll never change" he said between chuckles as he looked nervously at me before taking a step towards me, this time I didn't step back, well I would have but there was a wall blocking me. Well that was true in two ways.

I pushed him away, placed up this walls so high I barely saw what was going on.

Connor placed his body against mine and leaned in whispering in my ear

"You're anything but a burden, so will you be my girlfriend? I think it will better suit you than burden" I giggled and he placed a small amount of sloppy kisses onto my neck. I never was a huge fan of labeling someone a girlfriend and boyfriend, but it really really made me feel special, because I could call him my boyfriend...

"I will be your long distance girlfriend" I said and sighed happily as he chuckled into my neck before kissing one last time and pulling away, grabbing my hand

"Let's go" he said intertwined our fingers, finally we would be a couple, the thing I always hopped we would be, a thing that seemed so far away. But it was there, right in front of my walls. That were slowly falling apart, brick by brick.

Well I hope you're still awake :) I updatedd and I hope you guys like it and comment bellow what you think of it :) And if I should change anything :) xx

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