It all started with a smile

What happens when you meet a guy that makes you smile? What happens when you fall in love with that guy that you know will never love you back? What happens when you build your walls up so high that you don't see what's really going on? What happens when he tries to remove the wall, brick by brick? Will you push him away? Will you break his heart? Or...Will you let him show you what love really is? Find out in "It all started with a smile"

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8. Pushing away

"Tammy! I was just about to come to your house!", he said and I could tell he was excited but he was bouncing from one leg to another like he was nervous. Ok, Tammy, act cool, act like you didn't miss him like crazy, act like you don't love him, act like you don't want to grab his face and kiss him right now.

"Oh hi Connor, why did you want to drop by? Need anything?" I asked and  he looked down and then up again, those eyes. Omg those beautiful eyes. He smiled slightly, showing of his perfect teeth a little.

" I wanted to ask you something" he said and kept bouncing from one leg to another. I heard my heart beating faster and faster, what was he gonna ask me? I began to blush a little, and I felt my hands getting all sweaty.

"Oh, what?" I acted out like I wasn't dying inside out of anticipation.

"Well....", you're killing me right now Connor! 

"Come on Connor, we don't have all freaking day" I said and bit my lip while looking at him.

"I wanted to ask you if you wanted to.................................. join me on my trip to LA, I am planning on living there for a while, so I have to look for a place there, also JC and Ricky is coming, and you hit it off with JC last time you saw him", he said and I felt so stupid that I actually thought something more was gonna happen, I bit my lip harder at the thought of him moving, he was the only friend I got since I moved here.

"You're moving?" I asked, trying not to show any sad emotions, I fake smiled at him and tilted my head to one side

"Yeah, not yet, but when summer vacation starts,  then I'm leaving and yeah, you'll be fine without me I'm not worried about that, and you can come over anytime you want" he said while patting my head gently. Like I was a little kid. Or a dog.

"Who said anything about me not being fine without you" I snapped at him and added "Yeah, I have other plans, like important stuff, and I'll see you around I guess" and patted his head back and walked away. Who the fuck does he think he is! Telling me that I won't be fine when he goes away! I'll be perfectly fine! I won't miss him one bit! He can go RIGHT NOW and I wouldn't care. He can just disappear and I wouldn't even care. 

The whole day I was miserable, not about Connor leaving, because I don't care. I was miserable because I wasn't able to find a job, I mean a couple of them said they would call me when they make the decision, but I wasn't too sure about that. I was all wiped out as I jumped on the sofa and turned on the TV. Ed was fast asleep on the armchair and I looked at him with a ghost of a smile as he woke up.

"Sorry if the TV woke you up" I said and asked "How did the job hunting thing go?", he yawned and rubbed his eyes as he got up

"They said they would call me soon, when they found out what they want" he said and ruffled my hair and walked out. I didn't really care about my hair at the moment so I just grabbed my laptop and went to Connor's channel, just because.

"I'M MOVIIIIIIING!" was his latest video, I sighed and didn't even want to open it, he's just absolutely happy about leaving and barely seeing me. But who's to blame him, I'm just another girl that cares about him. I'm just another girl that wants him beside her. I'm just another girl that's crazy in love with him.

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"Tammy, babe, wake up" I heard a calming voice tell me, and then I felt two hands on my shoulders slightly shaking me. I slowly opened my eyes, and Ed was in front of me with a small smile on his face.

"It's noon babe, I thought you weren't comfortable sleeping here and I thought you were hungry, so I made you some lovely french toast" he said sweetly and kissed my forehead gently, and at that time, I felt like he was my dad my whole life. I smiled sweetly and yawned

"Thank you so much" I said sleepily and I noticed my position. I was still on the couch, in my sitting position, with the laptop right beside me. I stretched out and yawned again, he smiled and nodded

"No problem, I have to go and apply to some more jobs I haven't already" he said and waved as he exited the living room. I grabbed the plate that was on the table and slowly started eating. It was weird, but I was really used to this house, it felt like home, it felt like it was mine.

"Oh and Tammy, can you please buy some groceries, the money is on the kitchen counter and you have a list of the groceries we need beside it" Ed said as he opened the doors and he shut them right away

"No problem Ed!" I shouted and ate the last of the legs and tied my hair in a loose messy bun and changed into:


I walked out of the house with the money and the list in my back pocket, I slowly walked towards the only market I knew, and it wasn't that close even. As I arrived there I grabbed the cart and  started pushing it slowly through the market while leaning on it quite a bit I stopped at the soup section and I touched my lips while I examined the soups while looking for the cheapest one around, I grabbed a couple and placed them in the cart and slowly pushed the cart to the sugar section and bit my lip while looking which to buy.

"The toughest decision in your life" I heard a voice behind me and I quickly turned around to see Connor slightly smiling at me

"Oh hi" I said coldly and turned away "Don't you ever scare me like that again" I added quietly and pushed the cart slowly across the market, he pushed the cart so that he was beside me

"Are you mad at me?" he asked and I could clearly see a spark of sadness in his eyes, but I pushed that thought away from my head. 

"I'm not, I don't have a reason to be MAD Connor" I said while ignoring his look.

"So period?" he joked, and I let a giggle escape my lips, but I bit my lip holding it in

"Nope" I said and pushed the cart to the milk section.

"So what Tam Tam, you're completely confusing me" he said 

"Nothing Connor! I'm just not in the greatest mood, I'm so sorry for that" I said sarcastically and looked at him, he sighed and bit his lip while looking at me

"You know I am a great listener, you can tell me absolutely everything, everything, I wanna know" he said and I regretted the decision to look at him, because I saw pain in his eyes just now.

"I don't wanna talk about it, just let me buy some milk, and I'll see you around" I said and grabbed a big bottle of milk and placed it in the cart and rushed past him. I couldn't look at him and his perfect face anymore, I couldn't look at those sad eyes anymore. I just.. Had to make myself believe I don't love him.

Sorry for not updating sooner, I just had A LOT of things going around in my life and I PROMISE I will update more. ;)

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