It all started with a smile

What happens when you meet a guy that makes you smile? What happens when you fall in love with that guy that you know will never love you back? What happens when you build your walls up so high that you don't see what's really going on? What happens when he tries to remove the wall, brick by brick? Will you push him away? Will you break his heart? Or...Will you let him show you what love really is? Find out in "It all started with a smile"

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13. Fuck space!

Connor's POV

Why am I doing this? I asked myself for the millionth time today. I mean, I'm holding hands with that annoying girl, I even forgot her name! Don't blame me, blame Tamara, she is the one that can't get out of my head.

I can't believe it's been a week since I spoken to her, I can't believe I cried for that girl. I never cried, and especially not because of someone I met not so long ago. I cried my eyes out on my bed, I tried to keep myself calm but I couldn't.

I was gonna miss that stubborn little girl. 

Those words that she said, well they hurt more than anything in my life. I wanted to be more than friends actually, but she doesn't want that. Hell, she doesn't want me as a friend, let alone... something more.

"I want ice cream" that annoying girl asked as she squeezed my hand and looked at me with a smile on her face. She doesn't have Tammy's smile, Tammy's smile could light up the whole room, she did that without even trying. Her smile was sorta a miracle I mean I barely saw it, and when I did, well it captivated me.

"Here" I said and handed her the money, she quickly grabbed it and ran to the nearest Ice Cream place. This was gonna be another long day.

These couple of days I did nothing but feel sorry for myself, sorry that I was so miserable without this girl that I knew.

Knew...

Why can't I just stop thinking about her? Yes, I admit she is special, so special, and so different but in the most beautiful way possible. 

She was beautiful.

She was, but she never knew that. She always hid behind whatever she was wearing, she would look down, smile and wouldn't say anything. I knew she didn't knew that she is ABSOLUTELY stunning. Out of this world.

I miss the way she looked at me, it always gave me hope, gave me hope that she would like me back...

Since when did I like her?

I guess I always did. Always, since I saw her on that street while filming my vlog. She looked captivated by me, and I was by her. I guess I was too stubborn to admit my feelings, even to myself. I never was in love, ever. I had numerous girls chasing me and I guess no one was Tamara.

I'm not gonna lie I am a popular guy, girls can't get enough of me, and I guess that's why I felt so captivated by Tammy. She was the first girl to actually push me away. 

I've been avoiding her so much, that the distance actually hurt. I knew she didn't want to see me so I gave her just that... Some space.

"I got my ice cream!" that annoying girl said happily as she took my hand again. I noticed that since we started holding hands that she looked around, probably looking for someone to notice that she was dating me. Connor Franta. And she got what she wanted, a couple of girls took pictures of us. This will be all over twitter.

I sighed, knowing I got myself into a lot of shit because of her. Hell, if Tammy sees these pictures... well she wouldn't feel anything. Absolutely anything, she doesn't feel the way that I do. Well, if I saw a picture of Tammy holding someone's hand I would freak! I would totally go nuts and want to beat  that guy up for even touching my Tamara.

My Tamara...

Connor! Snap out of it, she's not your's and she never will be. Even though you're already her's in a way.

Tamara's POV

I let a tear slip down my cheeks, and I promised myself it was the last one. 

I was scrolling through twitter, looking at numerous pictures of Connor and that girl. Apparently her name was Taylor and she was a model. Well how could I ever compete with that.

She looked absolutely happy, well I would be too if Connor was mine.

My thought were all about Connor this past week. I've been trying to keep my distance, and it hurt. The distance hurt.

Why does it hurt when I met Connor less than a month ago. Why does he already mean so much to me, when I don't mean that much to him.

I've kept working at Starbucks, Rose was an incredible friend. She truly was. But the rest of them were too. Damon, Mike, Rose and Violet. Well that "Friendly" girl wasn't so friendly, she barely even talked to me, so I don't really know her. Rose told me that that girl had problems in her past and that she closed herself completely.

Maybe I would be like that if I never met Connor. I was on my path of closing and then he came and made me tell him everything, he made me open up and look at me now, crying my eyes out on my couch as I stare at the pictures of him and that girl, Taylor.

Life sure is GREAT! 

Sarcasm doesn't kill... So might as well use it...

I closed my laptop and looked at the clock. 11.34 pm... Maybe I should get some sleepy. Busy day tomorrow. Have to work two shifts at Starbucks, because Damon and Violet have college exams.

I actually loved working at Starbucks and every single day I hoped to see Connor, even though I didn't want to at the same time. My emotions are a complete wreck, I have no idea what I'm thinking or what I want with Connor.

The truth is I want to be Connor's and I want him to be mine.

Tamara! Snap out of it, he'll never be your's... Even though you're already his in a way.

I kinda really love this chapter, it tells the way the think inside and how they feel. And if you have any opinion please type it in the comments below, I would love to read them :) Thanks for reading!

 

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