It all started with a smile

What happens when you meet a guy that makes you smile? What happens when you fall in love with that guy that you know will never love you back? What happens when you build your walls up so high that you don't see what's really going on? What happens when he tries to remove the wall, brick by brick? Will you push him away? Will you break his heart? Or...Will you let him show you what love really is? Find out in "It all started with a smile"

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20. Apartment looking

Tammy's POV

I bit my lip as I finished pouring all of my feelings out. I didn't even have the guts to look up at Connor anymore, I shakingly sighed when Connor let go of my hand, and that's when I felt Connor wrap his arms around me. I hugged him back and felt something wet on my neck. Was he crying?

I never wanted to tell him because I didn't want him to worry and I knew he would, I knew he would cry and feel sorry for me and just be sad in general. I heard him snif and then he hugged me tighter

"Tammy, I-I..." that's when he stopped and pulled away slightly wipping his tears away. I smiled weakly and cupped his cheeks wipping them away for him with my thumbs. He had sadness written on his face, probably because of my sad story. He sighed and bit his lip

"You don't deserve anything that happened to you, don't you ever think for a slight second that you don't deserve love and that you don't deserve happiness, because you as sure as hell do Tam, you deserve so much more than this shity life, and I promise you it will get a whole lot better" he said with his voice holding a note of determination. I didn't realize I held tears back until I felt them roll down my cheeks.

Connor's eyes widened and he cupped my cheeks now as my hands well between our seats. He wipped my tears with his thumbs and said

"Look at us, being cry babies" he joked and kissed both of my cheeks

"Yeah" I said and giggled slightly

"Thank you for opening up" he said, voice full of honesty and thankfulness

"I always wanted to tell you I was just afraid of everything I guess" I said and shifted in my seats trying to find a comfortable position as Connor's clumsy hands tried to get his headphones out of his backpack

"You have nothing to be afraid of with me, you can completely trust me with absolutely anything you're feeling" he said as he glanced up at me and then down at his backpocket

"Fucking headphones" he growled and I laughed as I grabbed his backpack and got them out with one swift move

"They were caught up in the zipper idiot" I said and handed him the object while smiling wider. He smiled back and said

"I'll forgive you for that this time" I giggled as he sticked his tongue out.

The plane ride was actually quite fun, we played some music on his headphones, we talked, laughed, watched a movie... And all that while holding hands.

He suggested it, but I was more then willing to do so.

As soon as we heard

"The airplane will be landing shortly"

I looked at Connor and kissed his cheek

"We're alive" I said happily as he giggled. We got up slowly as it landed and he had to let go of my hand, but not before squeezing one last time. I hoped we would do that again, I hoped we would be more, but by the looks of it, he will never be mine.

I stopped dead in my tracks as we got out of  the airport. LA was sure big and beautiful, Connor turned around, noticing I wasn't with him, and that's when he smiled

"You like it?" he asked and approched me

"Yeah" I said weakly and we heard

"Connor! Connor" we swiftly turned around to see 6,7 girls waiting for Connor with signs

"Welcome!" "Love you Connor" "Kiss me Connor"

Me and that girl had the same dreams.

"I guess I shouldn't have tweeted about it, ooopsies" he said with a high pitched voice and I giggled

"Go. Do what celebrities do" I said and pushed him slightly

"You wait for me here. Don't wonder around" he said before skipping off to them.

I let my backpack fall on my one shoulder as I sat on the bench, Connor took his time talking to those girls and signing stuff, he looked incredibly happy and well those girls did too. And they weren't the only one's that wanted Connor to be their's.

I don't belong with Connor.

Girls like me just don't get guys like Connor. Girls like me don't get those beautiful, funny guys. They just don't.

"Sorry, can I sit here?" I snapped my head to the place where the voice is coming from and saw this guy  that looked tired as hell and was about Connor's age, maybe a year or two older. He had a beanie on and he clung to his jacket for warmth

"Sure" I said and he quickly sat hugging himself in the process

"So cold, so who you waiting for? Sorry if it's too pushy I just need to wake up to function properly, I usually talk a lot when I'm sleepy, unline most people. Is it noticable?" he asked with a hint of humor in his voice. I laughed and said

"I'm waiting for my friend" I said and pointed to that lovely boy that was the keeper of my heart

"You sure he's just a friend, because he keeps glancing here" the tired guy asked and shifted in his seat

"Yeah, just a friend" I didn't even realized I realesed a huff as I talked, but he noticed

"Oh, so friendzone? Been there, done that. Sucks I know, you feel like your heart is about to jump out of your chest when you see him but you know that he doesn't feel the same, that he never will and that he just doesn't think of you the same way. You feel your heart being more and more his and you feel yourself falling more and more in love each time he smiles warmly at you. You think you don't deserve him, that he just doesn't need you. You think he'll just leave you and just be over with you like you never even met" the guy rambled on as he looked in front of him, remembering everything.

Every word he said was in the air, repeating over and over again, did this guy just read my mind?

"I'm sorry you've been through the same thing" I said and that's when he looked back at me and smiled warmly

"Don't be sorry, it's the best thing that ever happened to me, sometimes you don't get it but you think too much, you close your eyes to all the obvious things and you think that you're just making things up. Look, I won't be that sensei guy that just tell you every little bit of life lesson you need to know, but you should open your eyes. Because when I did, I saw that I had the best thing ever right in front of me, she seemed so far away from me, so distant, but she wasn't. She was there, she was practically mine and I didn't even knew it. And that's when it all started making sense and it all turned out fine, she'll be my wife soon, actually" he said it and all those words, well I felt them get deaper inside my heart, I accepted them with my whole heart and I promised myself I'll think about everything he said. I smiled wider and said

"Congratulations" I said happily and he chuckled

"Well I'm waiting for her right now, so I think it turned out pretty fine, just open your eyes dear" he said and pointed across the street

"See, there's my beautiful girlfriend, well for now" he said happily, love radiating from his eyes as he looked at her cross the road, she had the most amazing smile as she aproched. Wow, she had the same look in her eyes as the guy did, it was full of love, full of that warm feeling and suddenly that guy jumped up and ran to her, hugging her tightly and twirling her around. Tears rolled down my cheek, that was the most beautiful thing I saw in my life. So much love.

"Tam?" I heard Connor's voice as he looked down on me. I looked up at him and he looked worried as he kneeled in front of me, wiping my tears away

"Baby, don't cry anymore, did he say something to you?" he asked as his jaw clenched. Baby... he called me baby, my heart ached for that word to be only used on me

"Yeah, but it wasn't bad. He told me his love story and it's... really nice" I sniffed and burried my head in his neck, trying to calm down.

"You'll tell me on our way to the apartment? he said as he wrapped his arms loosely around my waist. I smiled and pulled away and he kissed my cheek

"Sorry" he said as soon as he did, and bit his lip nervously

"It's okay, I know i'm pretty kissable" I said and kissed his cheek. Maybe there was hope, maybe there was a chance he likes me too, but what if I have my hopes up to high and they come crumbling down, and the happiness of my life leaves because it turned out to be pretty akward. I can just imagine him saying

"Oh no Tammy, I'm so sorry I made you think like that. I actually don't like you that way" and being the sweet person that he is he will leave me to make it easier for me.

I sighed and made a mental memo

"BE POSITIVE"

I just have to think positive. He maybe feels the same about me, maybe his heart skips a beat too, maybe he wants to be with me.

He stood up and said

"You have no idea, but I guess have to ask JC about all the kissy thing" he said, I don't know why but there was something weird in his voice as he said that.

"I'm sorry to disturb you I just wanted to say goodbye to this lovely girl" I heard that tired guy say from behind Connor. That tired guy had his arm wrapped around the love of his life as he spoke

"By the way I'm Taylor, and it's really nice meeting you, you belong to the small group of people that I don't quite annoy, or your just one good actress" he said and extended his free hand to Connor first and they shook as Connor said

"I'm Connor, nice to meet you"

Then I shook hands with Taylor and his girlfriend, her name was Stacy. I introduced myself too.

"Think about what I said, and I'll see you around" he said and waved

"I will Taylor, thanks for the story" he shook his head and said

"I hope it helps you, because I kinda feel that it will" he turned his back and walked away but not before glancing at us and giving me a thumbs up.

"He seems nice Tam" Connor said as he extended his hand for me to take. I took his hand and he pulled me up. I thought he would release my hand, but he didn't. He laced his fingers through mine and we walked....

I guess I have to actually think about it, because maybe I am just closing my eyes to the obvious facts...

SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT!! I truly am sorry, I had so much school work, you wouldn't believe, well either way I hope you like it and please leave a comment down bellow on what you think I should change, what did you like and hate about the chapter, just anything. Have a nice day, I'll be updating tomorrow :) xx

 

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