Not To Deep.

"I'm no one. I'm worthless." I said as I pulled out the sharp blade."You can't do anything right.Everyone hates you." I cried.I faced the blade towards me,showing my reflection."Ugly whore,just pitiful." I said mimicking the words of others.
I know who I am and I know who I'm not,I guess I just listen to what others think of me.
A strike of pain shook through my body.I let out a silent scream of both pain and pleasure.
"Remember.." I thought. "Not Too Deep."


6. I forgot.

Alexa's POV

I woke up to the scream of my alarm clock.I pressed the off button and climbed out of bed.I only had a tank top and underwear and knowing Zayn he was still asleep.

I walked into the kitchen and started to make breakfast.I broke a egg in half and it oozed into the pan.

I went into the fridge to find some milk.

Thats strange..It wasn't there?

"Looking for this?" I heard someone say behind me.I turned around and saw Louis sitting at the table holding the gallon of milk.

"LOUIS!"  I took the box of cereal and covered my lower area.

Louis smiled and walked over to me."I thought you saw me.." I shook my head.I knew I was blushing by the way he looked at me.

"S-so how did you sleep last night?I thought Zayn kicked you out." I chuckled.

He smiled."To be honest...I hardly remember last night."

My heart felt like it was torn in two."You..don't"

He shook his head."Nope.Why what did I do?"

I looked down."Nothing..You did nothing...Its fine.."

He nodded."Good.I tend to do things I don't mean to do when I'm drunk."

I nodded."heh..well I'm going to get dressed." I said putting the cereal box down.Louis looked me over biting his lip.

"Uh yeah..You go do that.." I smiled and walked away.

I walked up the stairs and saw Zayn walking down the hallway.He quickly adverted his eyes."Please tell me Louis didn't see you that way." he said.I chuckled. Zayn pushed by me and went down stairs.

I sighed and went to my room changing into some ripped leggings and a black cropped blouse.

I went into the bathroom and curled my hair.I finished up with some makeup.I added some bright red lipstick to finish off the outfit.Suddenly I heard someone come in.I turned around and saw Louis leaning on the door.

"Oh hey Lou!" He shook his head and walked over to me.He lifted me up and sat me on the counter.

"Whats this about?"

He licked his lips and stared into my eyes."Why."

I rose my eyebrow."Why what?"

"Why didn't you tell me about all the things I did to you last night?"

I blushed."How did you-"

"Zayn...He told me everything.How I kissed you,told you I loved you and that if he didn't come down at the time he did we would have been having sex on the table."

I bit my lip and looked down."I'm sorry..I just thought that you were drunk and that you didn't mean any of it..."

He sighed.He lifted my chin and looked me in the eyes."Babe,I meant all of it..It's just..I'm 18 and your only 16.I love you from the bottom of my heart.."

"Your lying.Louis,Its I'm not the kind of girl you would ever date.I'm not the pretty girl or the smartest.I'm not the skinniest or the-"

"It's not like that! Alexandra Malik. I love you,I just..don't want to break your heart in the end."

I shook my head."You don't love me Louis,I can accept that..."

Louis ran his fingers through my hair and then kissed my lips.He pulled me in closer and closer to his warm body.

His hands crept up my shirt.I smiled and wrapped my legs around his waist.I wrapped my arms around his neck and fumbled with collar.

He parted his lips from mine breathing heavily."Believe me?" I winked.

"I don't know..." He smiled and kissed my neck in the exact place he did yesterday.I smiled,"I think I'm starting to believe." He smiled.

I felt him undoing the buttons on my blouse when I heard a loud banging on the door.It wasn't the bathroom door,It was my bedroom door,"Hey guys!Breakfast is ready!" Zayn said cheerfully.

Louis didn't even stop what he was doing."L-lou.." I said in between breaths.

"No..I need this,Alexa. I need to do this. I've been waiting to long.." 

"Guys!?" Zayn repeated.

"Wait just a second!"

Louis laughed,"More like a couple of minutes..."


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