Not To Deep.

"I'm no one. I'm worthless." I said as I pulled out the sharp blade."You can't do anything right.Everyone hates you." I cried.I faced the blade towards me,showing my reflection."Ugly whore,just pitiful." I said mimicking the words of others.
I know who I am and I know who I'm not,I guess I just listen to what others think of me.
A strike of pain shook through my body.I let out a silent scream of both pain and pleasure.
"Remember.." I thought. "Not Too Deep."


1. First Day Back.

Alexa's Pov.


"Alexa hurry up in there I haven't got all day!" My brother,Zayn yelled from the other side of the door.

"Just a minute!" I yelled.I was trying to cover the fresh scares and some old ones on my arms.They were getting really noticeable.

"You've been in there for 20 minutes what could you possibly be doing..?" He jiggled the knob trying to open it.

I sighed and slipped my sweat shirt back on.It was hot but I needed to hide them.

I opened the door to my tall brother.His eyes were glistening brown when mine were strangely bright blue.  

"Alexa,are you ok?You look pale,are you ill?" He put his hand on my forehead.I giggled and lightly pushed him away.

"I'm fine.Are you ready to go?" He smiled.

"Just let me fix my hair.Go wait in the car and I'll be there in a second." I nodded.

I walked down stairs and into the garage.My mom had already left for work telling by the missing car keys.Zayn had his own car so we didn't have to walk places anymore.

I sat in the passengers seat and waited for Zayn to come.My wrists ached and so did my legs.If I wore shorts I had to wear leggings as well.And if I was wearing a short sleeved shirt,I would have to wear a  jacket on top.

Zayn walked into the garage grabbing the keys and smiling. 

When we stared to drive Zayn lit a cigarette,"Sorry,Alexa,I know you hate it but I'm just a bit stressed.."

I nodded.I hated the smell of smoke.The smell always made me feel sick.


We arrived at school.We walked through the doors and went to the cafeteria for breakfast,and to meet up with our 4 best friends.Zayn coughed giving off the smell of smoke.It lingered around so it was probably stuck to his clothes.

I grabbed a banana from the basket at the counter and Zayn grabbed a apple. I scanned the room,My eyes landed on a cheeky boy with brown hair that was quiffed up.His blue eyes sparkling as he laughed.His eyes met mine,The butterflies fluttered around in my stomach.

"Alexa! Zayn!" Louis called.I smiled and made my way to him.He moved stuff on the table so I had room and he pulled a chair up for me.I bushed and sat next to him.

"Hey Alexa! I missed you over break!" Louis pulled me in for a sweet hug.His head rested in my neck,I could feel his soft lips on skin as if he was kissing me.It was weird,I could feel a weird tugging feeling on my skin.

"Alright love birds,lets hurry this up." Zayn said sounding annoyed. It took Louis a minute but he eventually let go.

"There you go! " He said wiping his lips.

"What do you mean?" I felt my neck.

"Ha!" Niall spat out,"Love bites!" My eyes widened.Louis laughed.

"Aw your blushing!" He said putting his head on my shoulder."I guess your mine now." He said sweetly.

"Uh uh.No." Zayn said.Zayn was very protective.

Louis knew that so he tried to make him as angry as he could.

I chuckled and unwrapped the peel of my banana.Louis sat up right and stayed silent while everyone laughed and talked.I bit a piece of the banana and started to chew.

In the corner of my eye I saw Louis,staring,biting his lip.

I got goosebumps."Lou!" Harry said.Louis didn't look over,He didn't even move.

"Louis?" I said and snapped in his face.He jumped and blushed.

"Uh-h Yeah??" He said clearing his throat.

"You were watching her eat hat banana weren't you?" Harry said making Niall laugh uncontrollably.

"U-" The bell rang dismissing us to homeroom.

"Come on Alexa! Time to go to homeroom." Lou said nervously.

"Don't do anything to my sister Tommo!" Zayn said joking.

"No promises!" He said laughing and putting his arm around me.

He may do this to a couple other girls,but I just feel so...special.Like I actually mean something to him.

(A/N Believe it or not I was getting tired of writing the same thing.I wanted to write something new and something people can relate to! I've been wanting to write a story like this for a while so I made it! I hope you like it! share it with friends and read my other stories.I dont think im doing imagines anymore I think I'll just make my own.Sorry :[ Love you guys!.xx)

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