im not afraid

im 17, short, long blackish brown hair, big emerald eyes, i live for one direction, i never thought i would get the chance to meet those 5 beautiful boys, but i did.


13. What are you doing

"What are you doing?" Zayn asked as he entered his living room.
"I'm watching tv. Join me?" I offered.
"Yes. I like you may, your fun to be around" he grinned and sat next to me, I laughed until his arm wrapped around me and he pulled my nearly onto his lap.
"what are you doing?" I snapped pushing him away from me. He rolled his eyes.
"Common may. You have Niall and I have perrie but we have a connection." He muttered grabbing me again.
"Zayn. Like you said. I have Niall and you have perrie. I love Niall and you love perrie. Get your shit together." I hissed, I like Zayn allot. Like a lot. So much it's crazy. But I'm in love with Niall. Zayns the first boy in one direction I loved. I still love him. 
"We both could use something on the side." He whispered sexily and pulled me on top of him. I gathered all my strength and pushed away, standing and walking out of the room, towards Nialls room where he's currently showering.
"Niall?" I asked from outside the bathroom door.
"I'll be out in a few minutes babe." He yelled back, shitty. I walked to Liam's room and plopped down on his bed next to him.
"What's up love?" He asked giving me a worried look.
"Keep a secret?" I practically begged.
"Of corse." He replied.
"Zayn just basically threw himself at me..." I muttered, "he tried to pull me onto his lap and do god knows what." I whispered, Liam shot up off the bed and punched the wall.
"That ass. He knows how I bloody feel!" Liam nearly yelled, his fists clenched.
"Liam. Calm down." I begged, than his words registered with me. "How you feel?" I asked, standing aswell.
"I mean how Niall feels. I said how Niall feels." Liam lied, I opened my mouth to reply but got cut off by Niall.
"How I feel about what?" He asked, walking over to me and wrapping his arm around me.
"Hey baby." I muttered, trying to distract him long enough to figure out a lie.
"hello beautiful... So how I feel about what?" He kissed me quickly.
"How you feel about the tour." I lied quickly. Liam gave me a look that said 'good one'.
"Truthfully? I feel sad. I don't want to leave my baby." Niall muttered, looking my in the eye and gave me a pleading look, "unless you come with us... We can share a bunk?" He practically begged, my heart is begging me to say yes.
"Colton won't let me..." I stated, it's the truth, Colton would never let me.
"We can get you a tutor." He replied.
"No. I need to go to school. I love you but I need to stay." I pressed my lips to his and felt his kiss back. Liam's throat was cleared and I pulled away, my cheeks a rosy color.
"We'll need to start packing.. We leave next week." Liam muttered.
"I'll go... Come spend the night if you want." I stated, kissing Niall, he nodded and walked from the room leaving me and Liam alone. "So. How you feel?" I muttered, 
"I like you. I know we never spend time together but I've nearly loved you since we first met." Liam nearly whispered. This is a dream come true, three out of one direction like me. Except now that it actually happening I hate it. "I broke up with Danielle because of you.." The back of his hand touched the side of my cheek, making me jerk away.
"I have to go..." I lied running out of the room and bumping into Harry.
"Hello love." He joked, looking down at me, I rushed away, and exited the house completely. I don't have a ride home, I guess I could walk or call Colton to come get me.


"Thanks for picking me up" I mumbled to nigal when he dropped me off at home.
"No problem love, why were you walking alone anyways?" Nigal asked, trying to get answers.
"Left Nialls house. He's busy right now." I stated, hugging nigal quickly and walking inside my house, closing the door before he could say anything. 
"Your home early." Colton noticed, grinning at me.
"Yep. Nialls packing for the tour and the other boys make me uncomfortable." I explained, walking into the kitchen and grabbing an apple, I can eat it, it's not much. 

I sighed and stood, walking to Colton's room.
"Hey big brother... Wanna come hang with me? Could use a protective older brothers advice." I joked, his door swung open and he engulfed me in a hug.
"After Niall goes you and I are going on a summer long trip... To Cali." I couldn't stop the grin that spread on my lips after Colton promised me.
"As in Austin's house?" I nearly screamed, Colton nodded and I grinned even more. Austin's our friend who has his own place, i use to have the Biggest crush on him. I'm the closest with him.  The door bell rang and Colton rolled his eyes.
"You get that?" He practically begged. I nodded and walked down the stairs and to the door.
I answered the door to An pissed off Niall, a guilty Zayn, and a apologetic Liam.
"Uhm. Come in." I sheepishly muttered.


"you told him!?!" I yelled at Liam, he shrunk back.
"I can not believe you didn't!" Niall replied. I rolled my eyes and turned to Zayn.
"And you. I can't believe you did that in the first place, your lucky we don't tell perrie." I snapped.
"Sorry?" He muttered childishly. "Do it. Teach me a lesson. Tell perrie." He nearly begged. It hit me like a tone of bricks.
"You want to end it with her!?" I yelled, a realization washed over me.
"Yes. And your my motivation. Like I said may. We have something." It's like Zayn doesn't realize that Nialls right next to me. 
"Ok. Mays my girl, mine." Nialls arm snaked around my waist and he pulled me so were chest to chest, I closed my eyes and inhaled his sent, the one that's leaving in a week. "Can you two go? I want to talk to my girl alone.". I rolled my eyes.
"Stop calling me your girl." I stated, I hate being a possession, even if I belong to Niall James Horan. 
"You are my girl... But ok love. Ill stop calling you that. We have to go. But I'll have One of the boys pick you up from school tomorrow. I'm in the studio when you get out." He kissed the top of my head and his body moved from mine, the door closed again an I was completely alone.
"Stay with me." I begged to no one.
"So about that advice." Colton joked from the doorway, I walked to him and hugged him tightly. "Let it out." He ordered, within a second I was in tears, sobbing about my relationship and how it's going on tour in 4 days. "Niall loves you. It will work out." He whispered.


I ignored the people trying to talk to me in the halls, ignored the juniors asking me to sign there year books. The only yearbooks I signed today was nigals, maddys, and a bunch of kids from my class.
"Just quickly sign it." My ex Ryan begged.
"Hit me up tomorrow. I'm busy now ryry." I hissed, he shoved it infront o me and i rolled my eyes, grabbing his pen. i wrote 'we had a good run at the beginning of the year, we only broke up because you hated one direction and i loved them, now im dating on of them and your still single. funny how that worked out. love you! <3 -maybry' i closed it and handed it back to him, walking away.
I stepped into the parking lot and saw Harry's Audi. Thank god. I jogged over to it.
"Hey babe. How's my mates baby?" He asked as I threw my shit on the ground of his car.
"Well, stoked for the summer, sad cause my five favorite boys are leaving soon." I mumbled as we sped down the highway.
"come on our tour for the summer!" Harry bargained.
"I already have a trip planned." I whined, thinking of how much I miss austy.
"Oh? And what are these?" Harry seems slightly pissed.
"'These' are me seeing my redneck friend Austin in Cali." I stated.
"Is he more than a friend." I rolled my eyes at Harry, if it's a stupid question don't ask it.
"No. I have Niall. Whom I love." I stated. 
"Niall whom you love isn't going to be happy. He can get jealous." Harry warned, he stopped the car infront of there house and I hopped out.
"Thanks for the concern babe." I sarcastically snapped, walking inside.
"MY BABY!" Niall yelled, he ran over to me and stumbled on his way. The sent of beer trailing after him.
"Niall Hun. Don't you have studio time?" I used a worried sweet voice because he's obviously shit faced.
"I canceled. Need to see my baby." He stated, pressing his lips to mine and trying to shove his tongue into my mouth. I pushed away and stepped backwards.
"EW Niall. You taste like cheep ass beer." I snapped, he gave me that beautiful heartbreaking smile and I rolled me eyes at him but smiled back.
"I loovvveeeee youh! Your perfact mebry!" He slurred, I took his hand as Harry opened the door and entered the house.
"Who got my baby drunk?" I yelled, Niall laughed.
"I got myself drunk." He slurred.
"Shh baby. It's ok. Lets get you some water so you don't get a hang over."
Tonight's one of those nights you connect with the person you love. Niall ended up getting extremely sick and throwing up, a shock, I rubbed his back and helped him drink water and tea, getting him to bed and not being mad when he woke me up at three because of a cold sweat. I checked his forehead,
"Niall you burning up." I muttered, straddling him in order to get off the bed and grab some meds.
"I'm fine." He lied.
"Niall. Ill stay here with you, ill come back after school, I have an exam." I kissed his cheek and handed him the cold FX.

When I woke up at seven to get ready for school Niall begged me not to go.
"Baby. I love you. I have to go. You have four fabulous boys here. I can text Colton to come over, he's always great at taking care of me." I kissed his nose as he nodded.
"Ok. Text him. I'd love to get closer acquainted with him." Niall stated, in a sick voice.

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