im not afraid

im 17, short, long blackish brown hair, big emerald eyes, i live for one direction, i never thought i would get the chance to meet those 5 beautiful boys, but i did.


22. Were even

-thrsday night-
"Zayn no." I snapped.
"Come. on! Please?" He begged, grabbing my hips, pulling me towards him.
"I don't fell good." I stated walking away from him.
"I have to go. Niall texted." He lied, kissing me goodbye and walking from the door. When he was gone I went to bed, waking up early to drive to Colton's collage.
"Hello?" I answered my phone on the third ring.
"May... I cheated last night. I'm sorry. Please. Please forgive me." Zayn whispered into the phone, I clasped my hand over my mouth. 
"Why?" I asked, begging myself not to cry.
"Because Im a guy. I wanted you last night and you said no. It was with perrie. I'm sorry." He whine into the phone.
"One more chance Zayn. Don't fuck it up." I ended the call and climbed into my new truck I bought a few day ago. It's nice. 

"Hi. You must be Wesley." I smiled at him and hugged Colton again.
"so may, how are things with Zayn?" Colton asked, I took a deep breath
"Better than ever." I lied through my teeth, trying to seem happy.
"Shit! May I have a lecture to go to! Fuck. Wesley, take care of her until I'm back." He ran from the room with a laptop in his hands.
"So what happened with Zayn? Your a horrible liar." He gave me a worried look.
"He cheated on me last night, with his ex." I whispered. "I told him I forgive him but I don't think I do.." I stated in a quiet voice.
"Cheat on him." Wesley decided.
"I'm not like that." I half lied, I don't want to be like that but I am.
"With me." He finished, smiling at me.
"Ok." I kissed Wesley, letting him back me up to the wall, he kissed me with a lot of passion. More than I have.

I quickly dressed and fixed my hair, Colton can not come back to his room to see me like this.. "Ok. I cheated." I muttered,
"Feel better?" Wesley asked, seems like he cares.h
"Yep. Now I have to call Zayn." I mumbled too quiet for him to hear.
"What?" He asked, not hearing me.
"I'm going to use the bathroom." I bullshitted, walking from the room, I dialed zayns number and heard it ring.
"Hey baby." He answered.
"We're good." I stated, 
"What? Why? What changed?" He sounds relieved
"I cheated on you. We're even." I stated, his phone dropped and he picked it up quickly.
"That's not ok." He hissed.
"Too late. You and I are good again. I love you." I ended the call and slid the phone back into my pocket. Walking out into the hall and bumping into a really hot guy. "Sorry." I mumbled, walking around him.
"I haven't seen you around here before?" He stated, looking confused.
"I'm visiting my brother for the weekend." I replied, smiling at him.
"Who's your brother?" He asked, giving me a killer cute smile.
"Colton" I stated, smiling back.
"Maybry. I've heard alot about you, he's very proud of you. He tells erryone about you." He laughed at my blush.
"And you are?" I giggled,
"Keaton." He stated, grinning at me.
"We'll Keaton. It's great to meet you." I started towards Colton's door.
"Wait!" He yelled stopping my in my tracks. "Can I get your number?" Keaton gave me a small sweet smile. I shouldn't give him my number, I have zayn. Don't do it maybry.


"CHUG CHUG CHUG!" We all cheered as Colton drank his beer quickly, when he slammed it down on the table we all cheered, highfiving eachother.
"Man. I can't wait till I'm in collage." I mumbled to myself.
"Here." Keaton handed me a drink that looks strong.
"Thanks." I mumbled, chugging it back.


I slowly peeled my eyes open and looked around, this isn't Colton's room. I was hit with a huge head ache and tired to remember last night. The last thing I can remember is..... Making out with Keaton... Fucking shit. I glanced next to me and sure enough Keaton's asleep and shirtless, I glanced down and saw that I'm not wearing anything either. 
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!!!!!!
Fuckidy facking bullshat!!!!!  I glanced around and found my bra handing on the drawer to his bed side table. Quickly I put it on an found my underwear, dressing and walking from his room, I walked to Colton's and snuck inside, grabbing my phone and a twenty from Colton's jeans.

"Hey." Zayn mumbled into my answering machine. "Not sure why your no answering... Twelfth time I've tried. I love you. Uhm. Ya. Call me back." I deleted the message an sipped my ice coffee, what the fuck an I going to do?
* ring ring * 
I hit answer without thinking.
"Word." I answered, laughing to myself.
"Why didnt you call me back?" Zayn asked, I took a deep breath,
"I was up helping Colton organize his things. It's a mess. I'm actually going through his binders and rewriting everything for him right now." I bullshitted.
"Why do you lie to me so much?" Zayn whispered from behind me. I hung up the Phone and slipped on my glasses so he can't see my hang over eyes.
"Hey." I turned and kissed him. "What are you doing here?" I asked, hugging him and trying to hide the guilt I feel.
"We need to talk about us being even." Zayn stated, looking at my glasses.
"EY! There you are! I woke up and you wernt there." Keaton called from the entrance of the star bucks. I signaled frantically for him to be quiet,
"Hi." I whispered, he walked up to me and pressed his lips to mine.
"Last night was the most fun I've had in ever." He stated, grinning at me.
"And I'm Zayn, her boyfriend." Zayn glared ad stepped between me and Keaton.
"Wait.. You have a boyfriend?" Keaton backed off instantly. "Sorry bro." He apologized to Zayn and left
"May." Zayn turned slowly.
"I don't remember anything of last night, I woke up in his bed and panicked." I said truthfully, Zayn caught me off guard by smashing his lips into mine.
"Like you said, were even. Equal." Zayn murmered
"No.. I cheated twice, you only did once...." I said accusingly.
"Uhm.... Ya..... No. I did twice." Zayn mumbled and walked to a chair, smiling a sly smile.
"Fuck. Why are we even trying?" I snapped, grabbing my coffee off the table and walking to my truck. 
I love saying that. My truck. My truck.
I started driving to Colton's collage to say goodbye and go back home, this is too stressful. It's a ten minute drive to the collage so I flicked on the radio an of corse the song 'highway don't care' came on.
I felt tears fill my eyes as spill over, I pulled over the truck and let myself bawl, 'I can't live without ya I can't live without ya baby' the tears came faster and I let myself cry more, singing along. When I stopped crying I glanced in the mirrors and swung recklessly onto the road. 

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