im not afraid

im 17, short, long blackish brown hair, big emerald eyes, i live for one direction, i never thought i would get the chance to meet those 5 beautiful boys, but i did.


16. October 14th

-October 14th-

"Bye Austin... I love you." I kissed him quickly.
"I love you too. Ill see you next summer baby. Until then... We should be single. But the second I see you next year don't doubt that your going to be mine again." He kissed me again and walked from my house. I dont feel the need to cry, ive already cried enough tears over boys. Me and Niall broke up after he cheated on me with a Victoria's Secret model after a concert.  And god knows how many other girls. Austin and I dated the rest of the summer and he came back home with me until today, staying at our house while I'm at school. 

"may. I know your upset over Niall but you should come with me and Colton to Disney land today. Common it will be fun!" Austin grabbed the blankets off my head and pulled me out of bed. I started crying again, no warning, just more tears. "Don't cry. Leave him in the past. Get dressed and meet us down stairs when your ready." Austin threw some clothes at me and walked from my room, I sighed and slowly pulled them on, tears rolling down my cheeks. I put on some water proof makeup and did my hair in a high bun. When I walked downstairs Colton handed me a strawberry frap, I smiled slightly and took it from him, I've missed this drink. The last time I had one was on a date with..... Niall.....  I dropped it on the driveway and collapsed, tears exploding from my eyes.
"Common." Colton whined, I'm not sure how it happened but I ended up In the car, driving to Disney land.

I screamed as we neared the top of splash mountain.
"May?" Austin asked, I turned to him and smiled.
"yes austy?" I replied, the log reached the top and I felt us slowly tip forward.
"Wanna be my girlfriend?" He asked, the next second we plummeted downwards, screaming the entire way.
"Yes." I kissed him and we stepped off the ride, holding hands.
"I see your over that Irish fag." Colton joked, my smile disappeared but came back shortly after.
"I am." I whispered kissing Austin again. I pulled away and saw a group of people with cameras, taking pictures, I forgot, I'm Niall horan ex. Life's not normal.
~end of flashback~ 

That's was one of the way days, right behind the one Niall asked me out on.

Niall, Louis, Liam, Harry, and Zayn are all coming over later. I don't really want Niall to come because it will hurt too much. Over the summer I kept in contact with Louis, Liam, Zayn, and Harry, but I haven't talked to Niall since our break up.
~flash back~
"I saw the pictures Niall!" I yelled into the phone.
"I'm sorry!" He replied.
"I don't care anymore." I whispered, more tears falling from my eyes.
"Please, please give me another chance." Niall begged, I can hear the tears in his voice.
"You've been distant and horrid to me ever since you left!" I argued.
"I haven't!" He lied
"Don't try to defend yourself. We both know its true. Your also extremely jealous! I wasn't going to cheat on you! I loved you way to much!" I cried.
"Loved?" He cried back.
"You've really hurt me Niall." I stated, bawling.
"Are we ok?" He asked/begged.
"I'm not sure." I ended the call and walked out side of the house an down to the beach, sitting in the sand and looking out into the water. My phone rang and I answered right away.
"Before you decide. I love you, more than I've ever loved anyone, your my world. Cheating was the biggest mistake I've ever made." As he said it I heard another voice in the background.
"Niall! Baby! Come back to bed!" A girl whined.
"I uh. Have to go. Call me when you decide." He stated
"I've decided. We're done. Loose my number. Fucking cheat." I ended the call and dropped my phone on the sand, walking down to the water and jumping in, swimming until my legs felt numb. 
~end of flashback~
That was the worst day of my life. I remember being in the water and thinking how easy it would be to just drown. 
The door bell rang and I finished my hair, checking in the mirror to make sure I look good.
I walked down the steps and answered the door, Louis stood there with a grin plastered on his face.
"MAY!" He cheered, hugging me tightly, 
"lou!" i replied hugging him back. he walked into the house past me and then Liam walked up to the door and spun me in a circle.
"There's my beautiful best friend." He stated, walking in after Louis. Next came Zayn and Harry, both hugging me and saying how I looked good and that they've missed me. 
And than, came Niall, he looks as perfect as ever, his dyed blonde hair styled into a perfect quiff, his blue eyes, the only thing missing is his perfect smile. 
"Hi." I said awkwardly, Niall gave me a smug little smile and brushed past me. "Dick." I hissed under my breathe.
"Gained some weight eh maybry?" Niall chuckled darkly an helped himself to a beer. He's only ever said anything along the lines of that once. 
"Don't be such a twat Niall." Liam snapped, wrapping his arm around me, I felt tears fight to leak my eyes but held them in. Not wanting to seem weak.
"Id rather be fat than gay..." I muttered in a happy voice, all the boys chuckled except Niall.
"So may. How's Colton?" Harry asked, me and him have grown close over the summer.
"He's good. I'm very proud of him." I stated, Colton's in collage, he's decided to do something with his life.
"You don't have much else to be proud of." Niall chuckled, taking a swig Of his beer and giving me a sarcastic smile and dropping his full beer on the carpet. "Whoops." He snapped.
"K. I never did shit all to you. Your the one who cheated. Just get out of my house." I snapped not wanting to freak out but unable to help it. His eyes widened slightly at my outburst.  
"We will see you at home mate." Zayn snapped, giving Niall a hard glare. Niall chuckled and stood.
"Skank." He snapped as he walked past me, bumping me and sending me to the floor I felt a pop and a rip in my knee cap, searing pain shooting through my body. I held in my tears an refused to show any pain. Zayn stood an walked towards him. Niall put his hands up in mock defeat, I can't stand."I'm going. Bye." He slammed my front door and left me sitting on the floor, feeling the pain slowly increase.
"May. Stand up." Harry reached a hand down to me, I let some tears fill and leaves eyes,
"I can't." I whispered in a weak voice.
"I know he hurt you. But don't let him win, stand up, smile and grab a beer. Ill clean his mess." Zayn stood me up and let go, the pain made me colapse.
"I mean I legit can't. Call an ambulance." I cried, the pain making me feel like I'm going to black out. So I did.

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