Give Into Me

Carson Reed, was 17 years old when she won the X-Factor a year and half ago, and became one of the most popular female singers in the world. She thought she had everything figured out. She was famous, could have anything or anyone, a career that happens only in movies, and a wonderful support team. Everything in her life was perfect. That was, until an unknown boy band was assigned to open for her tour in London. Everything changed. Her life was turned upside, and she had to make choices that no one at her age should ever have to make. She formed unexpected friendships, and bonds that couldn't be broken.

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2. 2. To The Moon and Back

It was my last full day at home, and my mother got to come home today, from rehab. Emma, Angie, and I were going to pick her up at 1 and it 9:30 now. I got my clothes to shower choosing a sea green button down blouse, paired with my favorite short black shorts. I grabbed my tooth brush, and headed to the bathroom. I turned on my iPod, sitting in on Sabrina’s iHome and hit shuffle on my Mayday Parade list, and turned it as loud as it could go.  I put the temperature as hot as it would go without scalding my skin, and started scrubbing my hair, and singing along to ‘Miserable At Best’.


                After I was out and dressed, I started on my makeup. I put on some light black eye shadow, and a little eye liner with mascara. After I was finished with my makeup I dried my hair, and put a little more curls, and volume into my naturally curly hair. Once I was satisfied I went downstairs to grab something to eat. Sabrina and Jack were already in there eating cereal. Jack was playing on his PSP, and Sabrina was coloring in her Barbie coloring book with her favorite doll beside her.  “Good morning guys. Are you excited to see your grandma?”

“I guess. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen her though. I’m scared she won’t remember me when she gets here.” Sabrina said looking at her hands in her lap.

“Don’t be stupid, she won’t forget you.” Jack said to her. “I’m excited. I’ve missed her cooking, mom’s isn’t the best but don’t tell her I said that!” I laughed at his silliness.

“Jack, you don’t have to be mean, but Sab, she won’t forget you sweetie. I’m sure she misses you both. But, Jack, I completely disagree! That stir-fry your mother made was kick ass last night!”

“Yeah, all she did was put peppers and meat in a pan and fried it with teriyaki, soy, and some other kind of sauce, even Sabrina and I know that.” He stated confidently. He thinks just because he’s 11 now he’s the smartest person in the world, that boy is definitely his mother’s son.

“Well, it was still good. What do we have for breakfast? I was something to eat, I’m starving!” I said looking in the fridge.

“We have bagels! They have blueberries in them. They’re so good with that white creamy stuff.” Sabrina said getting up to show me where they were in the pantry.

“That’s what I’ll have then! And the white creamy stuff, is called cream cheese baby.” I said laughing, and getting out the toaster.

“Morning guys, momma’s coming home today!” Arianna said excitedly, sliding on the stool next to Sabrina, kissing her head. “I have missed her so much! Annabelle said she didn’t give tw—“

 I cut Arianna off, because I knew what she was about to say, “Hey, guys why don’t you go see if your mother is up yet, please?” I said smiling at Jack and Sabrina.

“Sure.” Sabrina said, hopping off the stool. Jack followed, but rolled his eyes. That boy and his attitude, I swear.

“Okay. Now what’s going on with Annabelle?”

“She said she doesn’t care mom’s coming home. She hasn’t even talked to her since we went to see her, like, four weeks ago. She’s being really mean and bitter about it, and I don’t understand why.”

“I’ll talk to her before we leave. She doesn’t need to be acting like that. Mom knows now, what she was doing was wrong; Annabelle doesn’t need to hold that over her head. She feels bad enough.”

“I know. I told her that, and so did Em, she hasn’t listened to either of us.”  Arianna glanced down at her hands, inspecting her manicured nails. “Do you think she’s going to act different?” she asked nervously.

“She’s probably going to be more cautious, yes. And she might stay home a lot. But I’m not entirely sure.” I said going over to the toaster and taking out my bagel I had long forgotten, and spread some cream cheese on both of them. I walked over to Arianna, and held out one of them to her, and she gladly accepted. “I think I’m going to go talk to Belle. But don’t stress too much about her or mom, okay? Just focus on how she’s finally getting to come home.” I said squeezing her arm. She nodded, and I went upstairs to find Belle.

                I found her in her room listening to some boy band I’ve never heard before. She was lying on the bed flipping through a magazine. “Hey, could I talk to you?” I asked coming to sit in her computer chair.

“What’s up?” she asked, putting down her magazine and sitting up.

“What’s going on with you? Why are being harsh about mom coming home?”

“I’m just not all that excited. She’s going to come home, be fine for a week or two, then start doing it again. I’m not going to get my hopes up when I know what’s going to happen. I’m not going to be the one crushed.” She looked at me, with an unreadable expression, but I could see hurt in her bright blue eyes.

“She’s better Belle. She’s been in there for four months; I think she’s finally better.” I got up to go sit next to her on her bed. “You don’t need to act like this. It’s hard enough on her. She’s going to be nervous, and she misses you.  You don’t need to freeze her out. I could be angry too, I kind of want to be, but I’m not going to be. She doesn’t need the extra stress on her. She’s coming home, where she can get any kind of pill she wants. But we’ve got to stand behind her, and make sure she doesn’t, and she stays strong. Do you know what I mean?”

“I want to believe that, I really do. But I’m still mad at her Carson! I needed my mom, but she chose drugs over us! How can you forgive her so easily? She’s been doing this since you were little, then she quit, then started again when Arianna and I were nine. I needed my mom, but no. My sister had to raise me, and her own two kids. On her own!” She was now crying, and getting angry. I can see where she was coming from, I was honestly still upset too, but she needed her family right now.

“Come here.” I said to her, pulling here in my arms and rubbing her back. She’s only 14, but knows so much more, way beyond her years. She’s so mature. “Hunnie, you’ve got to put that behind you. She’s your only mom. The only one you’ll ever have. Yes, I’m still mad at her, I don’t think I’ll ever forgive her completely, but you’ve got to look at it from her point of view. I’m not saying what she did was right, in anyway but she had her reasons.  And she knew what she was doing was wrong. She got clean for us kids. You can’t hold that against her anymore.”

“I know. I’m just upset. I love her, just mad at her. I’ll be okay, just a stupid phase or something I’m going through right now I guess.” She said laughing and wiping her eyes.

“That’s my girl. Just give her a chance.” I got up from her bed, and headed towards the door. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” She said back to me.

“To the moon, and back.” We said in unison.  I turned to walk out the door, and as she turned her music back up, I decided I liked whomever it was she was listening to, and went to find out. “Hey, who is this?”

“Oh, it’s this wonderful British band called One Direction.” she said with the biggest smile on her face.

“Are you serious? They’re not half bad!” All right, they were really good. I hadn’t expected them to actually be good. Huh.

“Why do you say it like that? Of course they’re not ‘half bad’, they’re freaking wonderful!”

“Well, a certain British boy band is going to be opening up for me, for the rest of my tour.” I said winking at her.

“ONE DIRECTION IS OPENING UP FOR YOU?!” She screamed at me and jumped off her bed. “Holy freaking monkey tails! Ohmygosh! Ohmygosh! ARIANNA, COME HEREEEE!” she looked at me, and started jumping on the bed again, screaming again.

“What?!” Arianna yelled coming into her room looking around.

“One Direction is opening for Carson for the rest of her tour!” Annabelle yelled to her.

“Holy fish bubbles!” Arianna screamed getting on Belle’s bed. The things these girls say, I swear. I shook my head laughing, and walking out when I saw Emma coming up the stairs.

“What’s wrong? Why were they screaming?”

“They got excited because a band they like is going to be opening up for me for the rest of my tour.”  I said closing the door.

“Oh. Who is it?” she asked walking back to her room.

“This British boy band called One Direction.”

“They’re in love with them! That’s all you hear about here.”

“Well then I know what I’m getting them for their birthdays!” I said laughing.

“No fair! That’s what I was going to do. How about we just both do it? You pay for the tickets, and I’ll pay for the flight?” she asked running the straightener through her hair.

“Okay, that’s fine.” I said laughing. “Have you talked to Angie yet? Her ass better be out of bed or I’m going to shit on her head.”  I laughed and said I would call her.

“Hello beautiful! How excited are you?” she basically yelled into the phone.

“Okay, well you’re up.” I said laughing. “But I’m very excited. Emma just wanted me to call and see if you were ready. Are you?”

“I sure am! I’ve been up for ages. I went for a run, at seven. Been up ever since.”

“Okay, well we’ll be there in a little while. We may take a while because of traffic though.”

“I’ll just come get you guys, and we can go in the SUV, it’s got tinted windows so no one will see you, and it’ll get us there earlier.” I told her that was fine, and she was on her way.

 

***

 

                We arrived at the center at a quarter after one.  It was gorgeous.  We walked up from the parking spot we were at and up the side walk. There was a huge fountain surrounded by lilies and other kinds of flowers. The sidewalk split into a circle once it got to the fountain. There were bushes of flowers all the way down both sides of the buildings. It was just beautiful. “This place is beautiful!” Emma said looking at everything.

“I know.” I smiled at her. We walked through the glass doors, and went straight up to the receptionist. “Hello. We’re here to pick up Rebecca Parsons.” I told her smiling.

“Hello. Just let me go get her. You are more than welcomed to go have a seat in the waiting room.” She gestured towards a room to the left and went in a door behind her. We all made our way into the room. Everything was white. Well, except the table, and television. There was a long wrap around white couch, with a glass end table at each side, and a glass coffee table in the middle. There were flowers, and magazines on the table. Angie picked up a magazine and started flipping through it. I looked at Emma, as she fiddled her thumbs. “Are you nervous?” I asked looking at my hands.

“Yeah, a little. I just hope she doesn’t make the same mistakes.” Emma looked at me now, and took my hand. “I can tell you are, don’t be. She misses you so much. You haven’t seen her since she came in her or a few weeks before. She was so skinny and sick looking, now she’s gained wait. A lot. She’s better, I can tell.”

“I know. I’m excited to see her. And not just be on the phone with her.” Just then, Angie snorted and held up the magazine.

“Read this shit.” She said handing me the magazine. There was a picture of me walking into a coffee shop in Hollywood, and next to it was one of Justin Bieber going to the same one. I looked down and read the article. “Sources have confirmed that Justin and Carson have been talking. A friend of Justin’s told Bop!, “Yeah, they’ve been texting and trying to hangout but with them both being on tour it’s been hard. She’s been a good friend to him after what happened with Selena. And despite what people have said, Justin and Selena’s relationship was already on the rock, Carson had nothing to do with it…” We’ve reached out to all there, but we’ve gotten nothing back. What do you all think of the possible new couple, Jarson?”

“Well this is shit! I’m going to give an interview to these damn people. I’m getting so tired of them meddling in my life!” I said angrily. Who do those people think they are? And who would make up shit about us? Ass fucks.  Angie was about to answer but my mother walked out of the room with the lady, Meredith was what her name tag read. “Mom!” I got off the couch, and walked to her.

 “My girls! I’ve missed you so much!” my mom said hugging, Emma and I.

“We’ve missed you so much too mom.” I said smiling at her. “Are you ready to go?” I asked her.

“Yes, I am. I’m just going to tell Meredith goodbye.” She walked over to the older lady. “Thank you for everything Mer. You’ve helped me so much, and I cannot thank you  enough.” my mother said, hugging Meredith.

“Oh, it was nothing. It was great getting to know you Bec, and you know if you ever need anything, you know you’ve got me.” She told my mother, with her hand on her arm.

“I know thank you so much.” She smiled at her again. “I’ll be in touch. Goodbye.” She waved to the lady.

We made our way back to Angie’s SUV and headed home.

 

***

 

                We were all sitting at the table that evening eating dinner, and talking. And Annabelle, as I had hoped, was being wonderful to my mom. She cried when she saw her, as did Arianna, and the kids. It was so emotional. But we got her settled in and then Emma had suggested that we all go out to eat to celebrate but my mother wanted to stay in and have a home cooked mean, with her family and Emma said that was fine. I took a bite of my chicken, and laughed at the story Arianna was telling mom about some little girl at Sabrina’s first sleepover that she had a few days ago. “She literally cried when she saw Carson, it was so cute. Then she started saying some weird stuff about how her older sister would totally die when she found out, and that she should just put her in her purple Barbie sleeping bag. It was great.” It was true. It was kind of cute, but it also freaked me the hell out. Weird little girl she was. “I thought she was going to like, cut a piece of her hair or something!” she finished making everyone laugh. I finished with my dinner and stood up taking my dish to the sink, rinsing it off, and then put it in the dishwasher.

“Well guys, I’ve got a lot of packing to do and then I’m going to head to bed. I’ve got to be up at 5, and then leave at 5:30 for my flight.” I said to them.

“Okay, I’ll come help you when I’m finished.” Emma said to me.

“Oh no, Em you don’t have to. I’ll help her.” Mom said smiling at me. “I want to spend some time with her before she leaves anyway.” She got up and did the same with her dish.

“Well, I’ll clean up here. Then come up and help you both.” Said picking up Jack, and Sabrina’s plates and taking them to the sink. “You two go brush your teeth, and get ready for bed. And make sure you’ve packed your stuff to go to your fathers in the morning.”

“Goodnight guys. Love you.” I said to them as I kissed their cheeks.

“Love you too Aunt Carson.” Sabrina said hugging me tightly. Jack said he loved me, and started out of the kitchen.

“To the moon and back!” I yelled to him.

“To the moon and back!” they yelled back, in unison.

“Well, I’m gonna head up now. Goodnight girls. Love you.”  I heard them yell it back as I made my way up the stairs. Once I go to my room my mom was in there sitting on my bed looking at a few pictures I had on my desk. There was ones of Angie and I, Angie, Emma, and I. One with me and Demi Lovato at the Teen Choice Awards. She was a really cool girl, we could be really good friends, but I didn’t really have time for friends.  “She’s gorgeous, isn’t she?” I asked mom about Demi.

“Yeah, one of the most beautiful girls I’ve ever seen. And she’s my daughter.” She said smiling.

“Mom, I was talking about Demi!” I said laughing at her. “But I know I’m just as hot as her.”  I said, which made my mother laugh.

“I didn’t realize you and Angie were that close.” She said looking at a picture of us. We were on the tour bus with Robb, eating ice cream and watching a movie. Well, Angie and I were lying on the couch, and we both started getting tired and fell asleep with the ice cream tub on top of us, melting onto our laps. I had my spoon in the tub, but hers was hanging out of the side of her mouth, Robb thought it was so funny he took a picture of us, on all our phones. I loved it.

“Yeah, she’s my bestfriend really.” I told her going to my suit case to start packing.

“Well that’s good.” She said smiling.

“Yeah,” I said looking around my room. “I guess. Most of my clothes are already packed and on the bus still. I just want some regular clothes.” I told her walking into my walk-in closet. We looked around at my shoes and clothes and were deciding which ones I wanted to take when Emma came in to help. Once we were finished, I told them goodnight, and climbed into bed.


 

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