I Just Want to be Loved *Completed*

When Brittany's mum get's remarried, she got a surprises when she finds out who her new step brothers are. When she starts living with one of them and his friends, and starts 'dating' one of them, she starts to question herself. Was her life to complicated? What's going to happen when her past catches up with her? Will Louis ever tell her his secret? Are one of the boys going to fall for her? What will Liam do when she becomes known as 'Mummy Direction'? And most importantly, will the boys be understanding about her past and help her in the future?

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42. One Month Later

One month later

 

 

Knock knock knock

“Brittany!”

Knock knock knock

“Brittany!”

Knock knock knock

“Brittany!”

“Come in,” I said from my bed and Derek and Phil ran in and sat at the bottom of my bed.

“What’s this?” Phil asked as he held up his iPad.

“Well,” I said simply, “That is a picture of me with One Direction.”

“You know them!” Derek demanded.

“I lived with them.”

“What!” they both screamed.

“Shhhhhhhh, you’re going to wake Danny.”

“Britt, we all know that that baby would wake up if a bomb went off outside,” Phil said.

“And that is because he spent the first few months of his life by screaming fans,” I explained.

“Did you live with them?” Derek asked.

“Who do you think I ran away from?”

“Wait, you’re the mother of One Directions baby?”

“Well, I probably should have told you this a while ago, but Danny isn’t my son.”

“What!” they both screamed again.

“He was dropped at our door step when he was less than a month old. He turned out to be one of the boy’s kid, so we started to raise him. They know I have Danny now, and I’m sure they know where I am, so they can come and get him whenever.”

“As long as secrets are coming out,” Phil said. “I’m not gay.”

What!” I replied in fake shock. “I didn’t know that!”

“You knew?” Derek asked.

“I’m friends with his girlfriend!”

“Oh,” Phil muttered. “That might give it away.”

“Yeah, it might.”

“So, how has your day been?” Derek asked, changing the subject.

“Oh, you know, pretty good. Except for the fact that I think I might be pregnant.”

“What!” they both screamed.

“Yep,” I said casually.

“Why do you think that?” Derek asked.

“Well, because of this,” I said and walked to my bathroom. I picked up the pregnancy tests and showed them to them.

“They can always be wrong,” Phil said.

“Well, the fact that three test were all positive, I’ve been throwing up and the fact that I haven’t had my period in a month and a half makes me pretty sure that I’m going to have a baby.”

“Do you know who the dad is?” Phil asked.

When I didn’t answer, Derek added, “You don’t think that it’s one of those guys, do you?”

I felt tears in my eyes and the boys came to hug me. “Is there anyone else who it could have been?” Phil asked sweetly.

“Yeah,” I replied through my tears.

“Who?”

“Louis Tomlinson.” The boys pushed me back and looked me in the eyes.

“You had sex with a member of One Direction?” Derek asked and I nodded.

“Lucky!” he yelled and I laughed.

“Derek, none of them are gay,” I told him and he frowned.

“If you say so.”

“Britt,” Phil said, “Do you want us to take you to a clinic or something?”

“Yeah, sure,” I replied and stood up.

“Let’s go,” Derek said and locked arms with me. Phil went and picked up Danny and carried him down to the car.

When we got to the place, I went to the desk at the front and got some papers to fill out. When I was done, I went and sat by the boys.

“So, do you think that there’s any way to find out who the parent of the baby is before it’s born?” Derek asked.

“Honestly?” I replied and they nodded, “There probably is. But I don’t want to know who the dad is. I’ll just tell Louis that it’s him, because I would rather it be him than the other guys. But when the baby is born, we’ll be able to tell who the dad is, even without testing done.”

“How?” Phil asked.

“Well, if the babies black, then it’s not Louis,” I replied simply.

“What are you going to tell him if it’s obviously not his kid?”

“I’ll just tell him the truth.”

“Brittany Tom?” the Doctor Patel called and the boys and I walked over to him.

“That’s me,” I said and we all followed him to a room.

“So, you’re here to see if you’re pregnant?” he asked and I nodded.

“Okay, so please lay on the table on pull your shirt up.” I did what the doctor said, and everyone was staring at my stomach at all the scars.

“Brittany, what-,” I cut Derek off.

“Ask me no questions,” I quoted from some person who’s name I can’t think of, “And I will tell you no lies.” No one questioned me any farther, and the doctor just squeezed some warm jell onto my stomach and spread it out with the ultrasound thing.

After a moment, he looked at the monitor and pointed at something. He said, “There they are,” as if it was nothing.

Derek and Phil’s jaws both dropped in unison, and if I was drinking water, I would have spit it out.

“They?” I asked and the doctor nodded.

“Twins,” he said simply.

My eyes got wide and I tried to keep myself from freaking out, but I was failing. “Okay, so, I’m going to use a somewhat Doctor Horrible quote now,” I announced. “I ordered none and I got two.”

“Dear god,” Derek muttered. “Twins.”

“Agreed,” Phil added.

“Are one of you guys the father?” Doctor Patel asked.

“No,” Derek said. “He has a girlfriend,” Derek pointed at Phil and then he pointed at himself, “And I’m gay.”

“Do you know who the father is?” he asked me.

“Well,” I said, “It’s one of what I believe to be four people.” The doctor looked at me in slight shock. “But I’m really hoping that it’s going to be my friend’s kids and not the kids of one of the guys who raped me.”

“Well, that was unexpected,” the doctor said and I gave him a smile that said I was okay with it. Well, it was a fake smile. It still killed me a little bit inside every time that I thought about it, but I didn’t need to worry other people with my problems.

“I know, but, it’s just that I don’t know how I’m going to raise three kids! I mean, I can barely handle Danny!” I was staring to cry, this was too overwhelming.

“Have you considered abortion?” the doctor asked and I shook my head.

“If Louis ever found out that I got rid of what might possibly be his kids, he would hate me.”

“Do what you think is right,” Phil told me.

“But-,” Derek cut me off.

“No buts. Do what you want.”

“I don’t know what I want,” I said.

“You can take as long as you need to figure out the answer,” Doctor Patel told me as he wiped the jell of my stomach with a towel.

“Okay,” I said and wiped away my tear. I followed the boys out of the building and into their car.

During the car ride, the boys were looking at me weirdly. When Phil dropped Derek and I off at the house, he headed to Jess’s.

After I put Danny down for his nap, I went downstairs and joined Derek on the couch where he was watching Aladdin.

He wouldn’t stop looking at me from the corner of his eye. “Dear god just say what you’re thinking!” I yelled to him after five minutes.

“What were those marks on your stomach?” Derek asked.

“I was in a terrible car accident,” I stated.

“And you got them there?” he asked.

“Nope, I’m just stating a random fact. I was in a bad car accident where I went into a coma for a little while,” I informed them.

“Stop trying to change the subject!” Derek yelled.

“What do you want me to say?” I asked.

“The truth,” he replied.

“Okay, so how about this. I cut myself. I’ve tried to kill myself. Happy?” I asked and he looked shocked.

“Why?” Derek asked in a soft tone.

“I,” I started and took a deep breath. I wasn’t going to cry. “I had a baby. When he,” I paused for a second and took another deep breath, “died, I went into a deep, deep depression, and I just wanted a way to clear my head. Cutting was my solution. It helped me control my pain. It made things better, but only for a little while. I just wanted to be happy again. I just wanted to see my baby again, so I tried to.” I felt tears in my eyes and I didn’t let them fall.

Derek got up and moved right beside me. He wrapped his arms around me and I wrapped mine around him and laid my head on his chest. He was so warm. “How did you try?” he asked.

“Blade to my wrist,” I answered.

“What stopped you from succeeding?”

“My friend came over and found me and called nine nine nine.”

“Phil was the one who found me,” Derek said quietly and I turned my head to look at him.

“What?” I asked.

“I swallowed a crap load of pills, and Phil found me lying on my floor.”

“Why?”

“No one liked me.”

 “But you’re such a nice guy,” I told him. “Why didn’t people like you?”

“I was a complete and total man whore,” he answered.

“Really?”

“Yeah, and none of the guys liked me, and then all the girls started hating me. They were calling me these horrible names and it made me fell so small and useless.”

“Well, it you hadn’t gone down that ally way and found me, I would probably be dead and so would Danny. Do you still feel useless?” I asked and he gave me a kiss on my forehead.

“I love you,” I heard him say quietly.

I sat up and looked at him in confusion. “What?” I asked.

“You heard me,” he said and his lips met mine. I kissed him back, but I was so confused.

When the kiss ended, I looked at him and said, “I thought you were gay.”

He smiled and said, “I’m just a great actor.”

“You’re an arse hole,” I told him and smiled.

“You wouldn’t have come here when you left the hospital if you didn’t think that we were gay.”

“I know, it’s just, I’m not sure. I feel like you should have told me that you’re straight earlier.”

“Why?” he asked.

“So I could do this,” I replied and kissed him.

“I think it’s pretty awesome how you just accept the fact that I’m not gay,” he said.

“Do you want to go out to dinner?” I asked suddenly.

“Are you asking me out on a date?”

“I seem to be. So, wanna go?”

“Can we finish the movie first?” he asked.

“Of course we can,” I said in my baby voice. Then I talked normally. “Danny’s down for his nap anyways, so we can’t go anywhere.”

“Good,” he said and he pulled me closer to him and I rested my head on his shoulder.

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*****

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When dinner was over, we drove to a nearby park. It was around seven, and there were about fifteen other people there. Derek and I headed over to the baby swings holding hands. As I put Danny in the swing, I heard someone say, “Are you Brittany Tom?”

I turned around and was two girls who looked about seventeen. “Yes,” I replied.

“Hi, I’m Lilly and this is Emily.” Emily gave me a little wave. “Can we take a picture with you?”

“Of course,” I said. After Derek took the picture, they left.

“What was that about?” he asked.

“I hung around famous people. Apparently that make me picture worthy or whatever,” I muttered and pushed Danny in the swing.

After about an hour, we were back at home. I checked my phone for the first time all day, and saw that I had nineteen missed calls from Louis.

“I think I’m going to make it an early night,” I said to Derek as I walked upstairs with a worn out Danny in my arms.

“Okay, I’ll see ya in the morning,” he replied with a smile.

“Night,” I muttered as I closed my bedroom door.

I started putting Danny to bed, and after thirty minutes, he was asleep.  

I went and sat at the head of my bed and I leaned against the wall. Took my computer from by my nightstand and turned it on. Then, I looked at my phone and saw that I had eight more missed calls. 

I took a deep breath before I called him back.

Ring Ring “Brittany?” Louis answered quickly. It was the first time that I’d talked to any of the boys since I called them my first night here.

“Hi.”

“Why weren’t you answering?” 

“You know why,” I replied and it was a few moments before he responded again.

“Who’s the guy?” he asked slowly.

“His name is Derek. He’s one of the guys that I’m living with.”

“You’re living with him?” Lou asked me. He sounded hurt and a little angry.

“Yeah, I’ve been living with them since I got here.”

“I thought that you said you were with some friends,” Louis asked.

“I lied,” I said quietly.

“Why?”

“I thought that you guys might get angry if I told you the truth.”

“And what’s the truth?”

“I met them,” I paused for a second as I thought of a place that wasn’t the hospital or an ally way, “in the city. I needed a place to go, and they offered for me to stay at their house.”

“Brittany!” Louis yelled. “They could have raped you! You can’t just go home with people you just met!” When Lou said that, I pulled my knees up to my chest and started to cry. 

The only people who weren’t doctors who knew what had happened to me when I got here were Derek, Phil and Jess. No one else knew, and I didn’t want anyone else to know. 

“Are you okay?” Louis asked and I wiped my eyes and cleared my throat.

“Yeah, I’m fine. But don’t worry, Derek and Phil are really nice guys and I’m sure that if you ever met them, you would like them.”

“I want to meet them,” Louis stated. “I’m going to fly out and make sure that you’re okay.”

“No! I’m fine!” I lied. I didn’t want to see Louis. It was hard just talking to him. I felt like if I saw his face, I would tell him everything. I just wasn’t able to keep secrets from him. There was ac reason that I told him the truth about Brett. I didn’t want to tell him that I was raped, and especially that I was pregnant with what was hopefully his child.

“Please,” Louis said in a soft voice. “I miss you, and I just want to see you. I want to make sure that you’re okay.”

“Lou-,” I started to say but he cut me off.

“I want to see you. I want to talk to you about everything that happened and have you come back home with me. It’s been a month, we all miss you and it’s not the same without you here.”

“I miss you guys too, it’s just, I like it here. It’s so calm and peaceful. I miss all of this. I miss everything being normal.”

“Brittany,” Louis said, but I didn’t let him finish. I pressed the end button and then turned off my phone.

I couldn’t handle talking to him. It hurt me too much knowing that I wasn’t with him, with any of the boys. As much as I wanted to be back on that tour bus, I also just wanted to stay where I was. 

Everything here was so simple. I didn’t have to be around screaming fans or get hate for being friends with One Direction. 

But what I’m going to tell Louis about the babies, I don’t even know. 

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