I Just Want to be Loved *Completed*

When Brittany's mum get's remarried, she got a surprises when she finds out who her new step brothers are. When she starts living with one of them and his friends, and starts 'dating' one of them, she starts to question herself. Was her life to complicated? What's going to happen when her past catches up with her? Will Louis ever tell her his secret? Are one of the boys going to fall for her? What will Liam do when she becomes known as 'Mummy Direction'? And most importantly, will the boys be understanding about her past and help her in the future?

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39. Messages From Everyone

I picked up my clothes that were on the floor and quickly got dressed.

‘Oh my god, what did I do? Why did I do it? Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! No! Everything is ruined! Why! I can’t stay here anymore. I have to leave. I have to pack, I have to get away Why did I do this? Everything was so perfect here. Why do I always go around ruining things? Why can’t I just be normal and no a complete screw up? I just need to leave. I don’t want to be here when everyone wakes up. It’s going to be so awkward for everyone. They’re all going to call me names. I just need to get away.

So many thoughts were running throw my head, but one thing was clear.

I had to leave.

I walked down the bus stairs and passed the bunks. When I got into the closet, I took my largest suitcase from by my dresser and unzipped it. I started to open my drawers and I packed in only the clothes that Danny and I needed.

I was going to take Danny with me. I asked the boys a little while ago if I should take Danny with me if I ever went on vacation, and they said yes. Well, I’m considering this a vacation, so I’m taking him with me.

As I packed, tears were streaming down my face. I was being careful not to start sobbing, because I wanted to make the least noise as possible.

After ten minutes, I had a suitcase and diaper bag packed, and I quietly took them to the bus door. Thankfully, we were already at the next venue so the bus wasn’t moving. Alfred was asleep in his little cot up in front, and he didn’t stir as I unlocked the door and carried everything out.

I walked back in and went to the bunks. I pulled back the curtain to mine, and Danny was laying there sleeping. I carefully picked him up, and carried him outside.

I called a cab to come and get me. It took me to the airport. When I got there, it wasn’t very busy, even though it was twelve thirty in the afternoon.

With the diaper bag around my shoulder, Danny in my arms, and a suitcase behind me, I went over to the desk.

“The soonest flight to Chicago please,” I told the lady behind the desk and she started typing away at her computer.

“The next flight is at one fifteen, but a last minute flight is very expensive,” she informed me.

“It’s fine,” I said and went into my purse and dug out my credit card and handed it to her.

This was times like these that I was thankful that the boys throw me a huge birthday/graduation party that a lot of famous people went to. Almost everyone had given me a fat stack of cash.

“Would you like a seat in Coach, First Class, or Business Class?”

“First Class please,” I said.

“Can I see a passport and identification?”

“Yeah.” I pulled out my passport and my driver license and handed it to her.

“Thank you,” she replied and handed me everything back. Then, she gave me my ticket. “Would you like to check any baggage?”

“Yes.” I lifted my suitcase onto the scale and the lady put a tag on it, the put it onto the moving sidewalk that was behind her.

Thirty minutes later, Danny and I seated on the plane. Within minutes, we were both asleep.

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*****

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I picked up suitcase up off the carousel, and pulled it outside. It was bright out and because of the time difference it was only two forty five. Since people were everywhere, I didn’t want to have to wait for a taxi, so I just got onto the nearest bus that was going into town.

I sat down, and started to silently cry. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and turned it off airplane mode. After a few minutes, it blew up with texts, missed called and voicemails. After it calmed down, I went and started reading all 91 text messages.

 

 

Harry

 

Where are you?

 

We know what happened, please come back

 

I miss you

 

Be safe

 

Call me, please

 

Where did you go?

 

Why didn’t you tell us good bye?

 

Just come back

 

If you’re afraid that things will be different, don’t worry, they won’t be

 

Nothing will change between anyone

 

Everything will just be normal

 

Please come back

 

 

Liam

 

Brittany, please, come back.

 

We need you here

 

Mummy Direction is really needed right now

 

Louis is a wreak

 

He left the stage halfway during the concert

 

He feels bad for everything

 

We all miss you

 

Just call one of us

 

Come back home

 

Just let us know that you’re okay

 

I need you here

 

I’ve gotten so used to you helping me with the boys. I can't take care of them myself

 

Call one of us. We’re all worried about you

 

Where did you go?

 

 

Mummy

 

Where are you?

 

Are you okay?

 

Why did you leave?

 

The boys are really worried about you

 

Call me

 

Bob wants to file a missing persons report, but I told him not to since you probably had a good reason for leaving

 

I’m really worried about you, please call me

 

 

Zayn

 

Where did you go?

 

Where are you?

 

Stay safe

 

Come back, please

 

Everything is going to be okay

 

Louis locked himself in the bathroom and refuses to come out

 

He feels really bad for everything

 

He blames himself for you leaving

 

Was it only because of what happened that made you leave, or was there more than one thing?

 

Nothing’s going to change between anyone

 

Please answer your phone

 

We just want to talk to you

 

 

Meghan

 

Liam told me that you were missing. Where are you?

 

They didn’t tell me why you left, and I’m really worried about you

 

ANSWER YOUR DAMN PHONE!!!

 

I WILL KILL YOU IF YOU DON’T ANSWER!

 

I’LL HIRE CHUCK NORRIS TO COME AFTER YOU!

 

WHEN HE BRINGS YOU BACK, I WILL CUT OUT YOUR TOUNGE AND SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT. THEN I WILL PULL OUT YOUR INTESINES AND STRANGLE YOU WITH THEM! THEN I’LL THROW YOU INTO A PIT OF FREEZING COLD WATER AND WATCH YOU FREEZE!!!

 

I WILL RIP OUT YOUR ESOPHAGUS AND SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT!

 

Swear to god Brittany, if you don’t tell me where you are right now and why you left, I’ll tell Jake that you left and you know he’ll start freaking out

 

Okay, that was mean. I won’t tell him, but CALL ME WOMAN!!!

 

You know what, I was the one who kicked the hole in the wall in your living room

 

I convinced Joey to break up with you because I liked him

 

I was the one who at your pancakes last year

 

 

Niall

 

I know what happened, please come back

 

I need my sister

 

Call me, please

 

I want to talk to you

 

I miss you

 

I’m worried about you

 

Everyone is worried about you

 

Come back

 

Be safe

 

Just come home, everything will be okay

 

Where did you go? At least tell me that

 

 

Lyndsey

 

Meghan told me that you left, where are you?

 

Did something happen between you and the boys?

 

Don’t do anything stupid

 

Where did you go?

 

 

Louis

 

Brittany, please, come back.

 

I shouldn’t have gotten you drunk, and I shouldn’t have taken advantage of you. I’m sorry.

 

I’m sorry for everything

 

I was a drunken idiot

 

Will you forgive me?

 

Please, please, please, call me back

 

I feel so bad

 

Please, come back. I miss you

 

I really miss you

 

Call me. I need to talk to you

 

Where did you go?

 

Are you safe?

 

I’m sorry

 

I’m so, so, so sorry

 

I really am

 

Will you tell me where you are?

 

I’ll fly out and see you, or drive to you if you’re nearby

 

You aren’t nearby, are you?

 

Where did you go? Just come back

 

Nothing’s going to change between you and I                

 

We can just pretend that nothing happened

 

Unless you don’t want that

 

I’m okay with whatever you want

 

If you want to pretend that nothing happened, I’ll be okay with that

 

But honestly, I’m not sure if it was nothing

 

I’m just so confused

 

I don’t know what to do

 

I can’t stop thinking about last night

 

I want to talk to you about this

 

I need you

 

 

I had twenty voice mails and eight five missed calls. As I was about to start listening to the voicemails, my screen changed to a picture of Zayn getting shoved up against a window. After a moment of thought, I answered the phone.

“Hello?” I said, and my voice cracked.

“Brittany?” Zayn yelled in shock.

“Hi.”

“Oh my god, Brittany where are you?” he asked in a hushed tone.

“Somewhere.”

“Please, just tell me.”

“No, I can’t.”

“Are you okay? Are you safe?”

“Yes and yes.”

“Why didn’t you say goodbye?” Zayn sounded a little hurt when he said that.

“I didn’t want to see any of your judging faces.”

“Brittany, we know what happened. We would never judge you, you need to know that.”

“Louis told you guys?”

“No, actually Liam walked around the bus to make sure we were all inside, and he saw you guys on the couch sleeping.”

Oh my god,” I muttered.

“If it makes you feel better, Louis has a black eye and two cracked ribs.”

“Why?”

“Well, he had sex with our sister, so we defended your honor,” Zayn said proudly and I chuckled.

“I love you guys so much,” I replied with a smile.

“Speaking of the guys, do you want me to go and get them?”

“No, please don’t,” I said quickly. “I don’t want to talk to them.”

“Why not?”

“Because I just want to talk to you.”

“Zayn, sound check!” I heard Niall scream in the back ground. He sounded a little sad.

“I’m so sorry, but I have to go.”

“It’s okay.”

“Can I tell the other boys I talked to you?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, I love you,” Zayn said.

“I love you too, bye.”

“Bye.”

When I hung up my phone, I started to cry harder. Then I pulled out my phone and called Meghan.

“Where have you been!” she screamed after two rings.

“On a plane.”

“Why did you leave?” she asked and when I didn’t answer, she added, “What happened between you and the boys?”

“They took me out yesterday,” I croaked. “They were worried about me because I didn’t leave the bus all day.”

“Oh my god, I totally forgot. I should have been with you,” Meghan said sympathetically.

“It’s okay.”

“Where did you guys go?”

“They took me to this club and made me drink. The next thing I know I’m in a bed with…with,” I couldn’t finish my sentence. I was crying to hard. Some of the other bus passengers were looking at me weird, and I understood why.

I was a British girl covered in sparkles with a child on her lap who was sobbing into her phone and could barely finish her sentences.

“Who?” Meghan asked.

“Louis,” I said through my tears.

“You owe me two hundred and fifty pounds,” Meghan said and I laughed a little.

“I’m okay with that,” I replied with a small smile.

“For a moment there, I thought that you were going to say Liam, and I thought that I was going to have to reach through this phone and kick your arse.”

“You always know how to make me feel better.”

“It’s my job as your best friend to make you smile when you’re sad.”

“You’re really great at your job,” I told her with a smile. “What was up with those texts you sent me?” I asked.

“Well, first I was nice, then I threatened you and then I tried to get you angry by sending you mean things.”

“Where they true?” I asked. I was kind of worried about the Joey thing. He was my boyfriend junior year and broke up with me suddenly and wouldn’t tell me why.

“Of course not!” she yelled and I smiled again. “Well, except the pancake one.”

“I’m okay with that,” I told her.

“Oh crap Brittany, I have to go,” I heard Meghan say.

“Okay, love ya.”

“Love ya too, but call me tomorrow, okay?” she asked.

“Okay, bye.”

“Bye.”

I pulled out my phone and started to listen to some of my messages.

 

Zayn- ‘Where did you go? Are you coming back? Please, just come back. We need you here. Please call me back.’

Liam- ‘Where are you? Are you okay? Did you leave because of what happened between you and Louis? I haven’t told the other boys about everything, but I think that I should. Call me, I just want to talk to you.’

Niall- ‘Why did you leave? Did something happen? Is it because we made you drink? We’ll never pressure you again, I promise. Just call me. Please.’

Louis- (sounded like he was crying) ‘Where are you? I’m so sorry Brittany. I really am. I don’t know what I’m going to tell the guys, because I’m not sure if you want me to tell them. But Brittany, please call me back. I really was to talk to you about everything.

Zayn- ‘Liam just told us what happened between you and Louis. Everything is okay. I promise you that everything is okay. Just call me, or, well, anybody. We just want to know that you’re okay.’

Harry- ‘How dare you steal my Boobear from me! He’s mine! Just kidding. As much as I love Louis, I’m not in love with him, like someone I know.’ He sounded very cocky. ‘But seriously, where did you go? We’re all worried about you. Call me, or I’ll kill Louis. Bye!’

Liam- ‘Britt, why is your phone off? We all keep calling, and we're really worried about you. I told the boys what happened, and they just went and attacked Louis. Will you please just call one of us? I told Meghan and she started freaking out. Just let us know that you’re okay.’

Louis- ‘I’m so sorry. I feel terrible taking advantage of you. I shouldn’t have done that. You were drunk and you weren’t able to think straight. I’m so sorry. But please, call me.

Meghan- ‘Hey, I heard that you ran away. I know that there must be a great reason why you left and didn’t tell anyone. I respect that and I just hope that you will call me back and tell me that you’re okay. Love you.’

Zayn- ‘We need you here. You’ve only been gone for a few hours and everything’s already gone to hell. Niall’s pissed at Louis, and keeps yelling at him, and then breaking down because being mean isn’t like him. Louis locked himself in bathroom, and refuses to come out. Even Alfred is distressed because he keeps hearing us fighting. We need Mummy Direction with us. Please, come back.’

Niall- (crying) ‘I miss you. I miss my sister. I’m sorry for everything that happened. I feel like it’s all my fault. If I hadn’t agreed to take you to the club, then everything would be okay right now. You would still be here and everyone would be sane. Call me. I miss you.’

Mummy- ‘The boys are worried sick. Where are you? Why did you leave? You know that you can tell me anything and I can make it okay. I just want to know where you are and if you’re safe. Call me. I want to talk to you.’

Harry- ‘Everything is going to be okay. I promise you that. If you just come back we’ll pretend like nothing’s happened. The only people that know about anything are us, Alfred, and you. None of the fans or paparazzi know, and they aren’t going to find out because none of us would ever say anything to them, and Alfred’s signed a contract stating that he can’t repeat anything that he’s hear on the bus. Just please come back. I miss you.’

Meghan- ‘The boys are really worried and Liam told me that they’re going a little crazy. He said that everything is not okay without you there. He told me that Niall is crying and you know that that is not okay. I’m sorry. I’m not trying to guilt you into going back. Just call me, please.’

Zayn- ‘Please answer your phone. Everyone is worried. I’m sorry about what happened, but there nothing that you can do now. It’s hurting everyone more not knowing where you are. If you don’t answer or come back, it’s going to destroy the one’s closest to you. Just call one of us, please.’

Louis- ‘Britt, there’s things that I need to tell you, but I don’t want to just leave you a message. I tried texting it, but it just didn’t come out right. Please, I need to talk to you about everything. Call me, I love you.’

Liam- ‘Everything’s going downhill. I don’t know how we’re going to perform anytime soon. We’re all a wreak, and we need you with us. I’m really worried and I don’t know what I can do to keep the boys sane without you calling back.’

Meghan- ‘Okay, you know that I was being nice before, but if you don’t call me back within the hour, then I’m going to use my Mommy voice. Good bye.’

Niall- ‘Call me. Please. I’m worried about you and where you went. I just want to know that you’re safe.’

Meghan- ‘Bitch you better call me back or else, or else I don’t know. But it won’t be good. Just call me back soon before I start making a plan. Never mind. I’ve already thought of one. I’ll be texting it to you. Good bye.’

 

All of their messages made me sad, yet a little happy. They really do care about me.

Tears were silently streaming down my face. I wiped my eyes and put my phone into my pocket. I readjusted the sleeping Danny in my arms and leaned my head onto the bus window. Within minutes, I fell into a dreamless sleep.

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*****

.

.

Danny and I rode the bus all day. I didn’t know where I should go. I would have kept on riding it, but eventually the bus driver told me I had to get off.

When I stepped off the bus, it was dark and a little chilly outside. I laid the suit case on the ground and I took out a jacket and put it on Danny so he wouldn’t get cold.

I pulled out my phone, and held down the home button and asked Siri where the closest hotel was. She said that it was a little less than a mile away, so I started walking.

After ten minutes, I heard some guys behind me. I could tell that I wasn’t really in the best neighborhood, so I started freaking out a little.

I adjusted Danny so that I could take my phone out of my pocket, and I called my mum than stuck the phone between my shoulder and my ear since one hand had a baby, and the other was pulling a suitcase.

“Brittany, are you okay? The boys said that you disappeared,” Mum answered.

“I’m fine,” I lied.

“Where are you?”

“I’m in Chicago, but please don’t tell them that. I just want some space.”

“I promise I won’t.”

“Thanks.”

My mum and I talked for the next few minutes, and I saw buildings with lights and a lot of traffic up ahead.

“Hey Mum, I’m almost at my hotel. Can I call you later?” I asked.

“Of course Honey. I love you.”

“Love you too. Bye.”

“Bye.”

As soon as I put my phone back into my pocket, someone grabbed me from behind.

I held Danny close to me, and someone else put a rag over my mouth.

Then, everything went black.

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