Snow angels

I find myself alone on the streets all at once, it seems. I run from home, from my mother, and a threat which i fear. My only companions are my dog and a scar.

Desmond, of course he's here again- the beautiful stranger. His face like a knife and his words that stick in my mind. I know, he's special. He knows things that nobody should know.

This is my story. A story of love, loss and temporary insanity. Read if you please.


7. Fix it _____

Juneau is spread out strangely. One moment you will be walking through a dense downtown, and the next moment all you can see is trees. 


After wasting time, eating handfuls of cereal on a park bench, i get up and start walking. Again. 

Though still technically in the juneau, I walk down a winding road between forest and water. I hear the city come to life behind me, but the road I walk on is entirely silent.


"I walk a lonely road, the only one that i have ever known..." My terrible singing voice bounces greenday off trees. 


I rub my face with the back of my hands. "Don't know where it goes...." The song is strangely fitting. "But it's home to me, and I walk alone..."


Angel starts barking frantically at a squirrel as if his life depends of it.








"Angel, shut up."


The lovely thing about having a dog, is it gives you a fine excuse to talk to yourself.


 I peer into the woods, and see the shine of reflecting water. I remember when Basil and I once went on an expidition through that woods to find tadpoles. We didn't find any, and we got pathetically lost, but it was fun. Felix, Hailey and I also got lost in that woods. It must be easy to get lost in, or maybe I just have a terrible sense of direction.


I look up ahead and there is only one building in sight- my high school. 


When I get closer, I can read the sign. "Juneau-Douglas High." It's the biggest high school here, and probably the worst, but i still smile upon seeing it.

The question is, why am I here? It's one of those instances that i am just in a place so i am not anywhere else.


The parking lot is full. It's a school day, duh. I check my watch- It's 2:30. How much time did i spend sitting around, eating cereal?


Kids are about to get out of school, and they will certainly see me. I'm not popular, or particularly well known, but i'm sure my mom raised awareness of my missing-ness. 


I make my way through the parking lot, and around the back of the school. Nobody goes back here anyway, other than the occasional druggies. The cement is vaguely moist and smells of urine. I don't want to stay here for long.


I peer into a window of one of the class rooms. It's completely empty, aside from an abundance of chairs and a stack of papers. Mr. Murphy's classroom.


Nobody can deny that Mr. Murphy is a good teacher. He is a lover of reggae, a definite pothead, and slightly insane. But he is the best teacher of english or anything else that i have ever had.


I squint my eyes through the glass, spying a stack of our assignments- Mine is there too, but it remains incomplete. 


The window is unlocked. Strangely, I have climbed through this window before. It was to glance at Zahra's biography, our assignment that week. I was really worried about her than- I still am, a bit. I know, that was a stalker-ish move. But I was concerned.


I leave Angel behind outside. He is to busy sniffing god-knows-what to run off.


As walk behind Mr. I wonder what the hell I'm doing. I'm hoping that someone comes in, i think. That someone sees me, someone who i can trust. Mr. Murphy maybe.


The door opens, and someone walks in. I was hoping for someone to find me, but I jump. It isn't Mr. Murphy, definitely, but i can't tell who it is- I haven't turned on the lights yet.


So, doing as any respectable person would, i carefully crouched under Mr. Murphy's desk. I'm truly a super stealthy spy, aren't I. 


I wonder who it is nervously. If it's someone who isn't my friend, I would be in a mental institute instantly. And if it's one of my friends... Well, I ran away from Zahra and Hailey so they must think i'm insane.


Good job burning all those bridges, Rylee. Good job.


The person obviously heard me leap behind the desk, because they keep on saying "Hello?" 


"Who's there."


But i recognize the voice very well. By god, It's Felix.





I could say "What luck!" But of course it's Felix. He spends much of his time lurking around Mr. Murphy's classroom. I like writing fine, but Felix, he's a prodigy.


I stand up. "Why, Felix Valentine." I say awkwardly, as if i am just casually running into him through the halls. 


"Well." He says, freaking out in a surprisingly small way. 


"Yup." I reply. I want to hug this kid, bed head and all. I'm not sure how Felix has bed head after being awake for hours, but he somehow manages.


And then, comes the slightly delayed freak out. "Oh my god, Rylee, where have you been. I'm freaking out... are you okay? Where have you been... like." He sounds like a teenage girl. 


We hug, after an awkward dance around the desk. 


"I need to disappearing more often, because everyone keeps on hugging me." I laugh.


Felix looks at me confused. I need to stop hiding behind failed sarcasm, i realize. It's blatant that I have been crying- at that moment i realize that I still have mascara all over my face. I have had an insufficiency of mirrors in the last hours. 


"Okay." He says.


"Okay." I say.


"So that's your explaination." He raises one eyebrow, making a face that only he can make. I curse my inner teenage girl for crushing on one of my best friends.


I explained the short version all in one breath. "My mom freaked out and threatened to send me to a mental hospital, so i ran away, Now i'm just cooling off but i'm going home in a few days, don't worry, I just need a place to stay for a little bit, don't freak out."


"Yeah, Zahra told me about some of that stuff. But i can't believe you left her in the middle of the night!" He runs his hand through his hair, crinkling his nose like a hedgehog. "I think I already have freaked out sufficiently."


"Agreed." I giggle- why, oh why do i giggle so much. Becoming more serious, i ask the question that needs to be asked.


"But... Um, can I stay at your house? Your parents can't know, obviously."


"Of course you can stay at my house!" He smiles gently. He is treating me delicately too. "Or maybe in my shed... my mom is pretty nosy."


"Your shed sounds lovely." I say. I have only been to Felix's house a few times, but I remember all of it, including his shed, being immaculate. 


"Um, how did you get in here?" Felix asks, it suddenly occuring to him that i couldn't have walked through the entire school.


I glance at the window dopily, and he cracks up suddenly. "Oh my gosh, you're crazy." He pauses "Oh i'm sorry." Right, the whole mental institute thing. God. 


After he piles some of the papers into his backpack, we leave the building through the window, as I entered. Felix is estatic to see my dog.


"Angel is seriously my spirit animal," Felix scoops him up. I expect my dog to voraciously eat his face off, but instead he wags his tail. My dog is getting soft with age. 


Felix loops his arm around my neck, which i am secretly extremely pleased about. ( Idiot. ) 


"You know what, you aren't allowed to do that ever again." He desides aloud. "You are one of my three closest female friends."


"I'm honored." I roll my eyes. "Well, you're my sixth closest male friends who wears black glasses."


"Equally honored."


"What are the papers for, if you don't mind me asking."


"They are the short stories that our classmates turned in."


"Why... do you have them?"


"I wanted to read them, okay?" Felix laughed. "Besides, Mr. Murphy said it was okay."


" You are a strange person." I say to him. He transfers Angel into my arms. 


"Lets read some, okay?" He says, taking the stack off the top. I find myself highly critical of anyone else's writing.


"It's going to be discustingly cliched teen fiction, featuring a love triangle and some hot paranormal guy." I decide. Felix reads one of the short stories out loud, and it's exactly that.


"My name is Grace wilson, and I'm in love." Felix reads. "Could be good, or could feature a love triangle." He comments, then continues.


"The boy's name is Jack. He is tall and has sexy green eyes the color of the sea." 


I draw in a massive breath through my teeth, making a hissing sound. "Bad start." 


"Shut up!" Felix says. His arm is still looped around my neck, which i smile at.


"I have known Jack all my life, and have been in love with him for a few years. The problem is, I don't know if he loves me back. Besides, my dad doesn't approve. My mom died when I was-"


I cut Felix off. "Yup. Dead parent. Classic teen angst move."


"Shush" Felix says. He seems slightly uncomfortable by me mentioning dead parents, but he continues on light heartedly. "I'm super into this excellently written story." It takes me an embarrassing amount of time to realize that he's being sarcastic.


"My mom died when I was 10 years old, and I have missed her ever since. One day, i was sitting on my couch reading one of my favorite magazines, but i kept on getting distracted. Around my neck was a necklace- a tiny silver heart. My mom gave it to me.


Randomly, i started crying. It has been 6 years since my mom died, but i still miss her so much. To fix my makeup, i went to look in a mirror. I wiped away the excess mascara off my pretty face, and smiled. I am tall and have a slender figure. My hair is long and black and it goes all the way down to my hips. My eyes are gorgeous blue."


"Wait, wait wait." I bat the awful short story away from Felix. "Nobody is going to describe themselves as 'gorgeous.' even if they're a narsissistic supermodel."


Felix nods. Our conversation has gone from normal teenager to deep and intellectual in about 4.6 seconds. "This story seems to be more of a dictionary of cliches."


"But really," I say." Everything you write is a cliche. It is impossible to write something that nobody has written before. It's more of the cliches that you choose to use."


"And I generally avoid teenage werewolves." Felix replies.



Putting this less-than-acceptable piece of writing to rest in the stack, Felix moves on to reading another one. This one is about a hermit named Nest, and uses many more metaphors and adjectives.  I like it, but I'm practically sleeping on my feet. Felix has a nice voice, and after a while I just walk, not really listening to the words, just his voice.


"You should narrate book on tapes." I say when he finishes. We are almost to his house, which is located halfway between downtown and the school. Quite convenient, actually. I don't know why i haven't come here more.


"So, are your parents in tonight?" I ask. We walk around the back of his house, and towards his shed.


He nods his head."Unfortunately, my shed is the best i can do." He opens the door, and not a speck of dust is in the wrong spot. The small building is populated by a few rakes and a bag grass seed but nothing else.


"You do realize that this is actually cleaner than my house." I say, sitting down on the swept linolium floors. 


He laughs. He has an understated, gentle laugh. "I will sneak some food out here after dinner. My dad is pretty oblivious, he won't suspect a thing."


"Sounds excellent. Can I borrow some of those papers that you stole from Mr. Murphy's classroom."


He hands me a few papers. "Reading material?"




"See you in a little bit Rylee Goodridge."


"Why thank you Felix Valentine."

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