Snow angels

I find myself alone on the streets all at once, it seems. I run from home, from my mother, and a threat which i fear. My only companions are my dog and a scar.

Desmond, of course he's here again- the beautiful stranger. His face like a knife and his words that stick in my mind. I know, he's special. He knows things that nobody should know.

This is my story. A story of love, loss and temporary insanity. Read if you please.

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2. Curiosity

Yesterday seems like a dream now. A blur of the daily ups and downs, learning and forgetting of every day.

 

I woke up at 6 am. My brain's schedule has been set to waking up early since i was little. I prefer waking up to see the sunrise then staying up into the dark.

 

I gathered my notebook, and drew swirly doodles. That's what i want to be someday, i think. An artist. With tiny dots and dashes i continued drawing a night sky. A lot of people are shocked when i say that i work on one drawing for days, weeks. But this is the only way i know. There is nothing worse than an incomplete drawing. 

 

I walked Angel, then my Mom drove me to school in her vintage convertable. The entire back was stuffed high with junk which we never bothered to clean out. I gnawed on my tough granola bar, in a state of neither happy or unhappy.

 

"How is homework going?" She asked, making delicate chit-chat.

 

"Fine." I replied silently. "I'm going to pass the Science test."

 

She didn't bother ask how i knew that. She looked afraid as she stared ahead.

 

When i was dropped off, my friend Zahra waited for me.

 

"Hello Rylee." She was dressed in her familiar black tights and ripped up band shirts. She looked like some sort of goth girl, with her caked on eye makeup. However, she much preferred talking about the meaning of things. The end of the universe. Why people exist. Stuff like that.

 

"Hi Zahra!" We hugged, like we always do. 

 

We waited a few minutes, until a car pulled up and out red haired companion bounced out. 

 

The way that Hailey walks can only be called "Bouncing." It's a bit strange that she and Hailey are friends, as they are the most different people ever. Hailey, i wouldn't say she is immature, but she preffers making blanket forts to talking about serious things. Zahra annoys Hailey, and Hailey annoys Zahra. But honestly, we love each other. 

 

"Hey Ry-Ry." Hailey chirped. I stuck my tongue out at her, and she swatted me.

 

"Hey red-head." I said.

 

"Hey green head!" She laughed, and i was once again reminded of my hideous hair.

 

"Have you seen Felix?" I asked, scanning the crowds for spikey hair. Felix isn't exactly in our friend group, but not exactly not. He hangs out with a huge group of crude guys and a beautiful lesbian named Olivia. Those guys were certainly fun to hang out with, but i never have felt at ease with them. 

 

All they talk about, honestly, is sex. Zahra talks about love. Hailey awkwardly mentions it like its a naughty subject. Felix is the quiet one in that group of guys. He just laughs along and tries to fit in.

 

Hailey, Zahra and I were our own little group. One that Felix sometimes joins. After all, I have known him since I was in first grade. 

 

I spotted Felix's spiky blonde-ish hair as we passed through the halls. 

 

"Hey Glasses." I ran over and tapped his black hipster glasses.

 

"Ry-ry!" He replied. I'm not sure how the 'Ry-ry' thing caught on but it did. And i hate it. 

 

"Okay, we need to catch up at lunch, okay?" He grinned. I blushed. I hate how i have had a crush on since i met him. It's a bit sad, but he is the only guy I have ever actually liked. Sadly he's also the guy i know i could never act on. He's too innocent, and it would suck to ruin our friendship.

 

The day went idly by. I did, indeed, pass my spanish test. I ate lunch with Zahra, who was in one of her sad moods that could last for days.

 

My mom picked me up at the corner she always does, by a lamppost with a giant dent in on side. I liked to imagine what caused the dent. Maybe it was a huge car chase, a bank robber's car crashing into the pole.

 

More than likely, it was just an elderly man who wasn't looking where he was going. But i like to think it was something more exciting.

 

When my mom picked me up, the car ride was mostly silent. Not a purposeful silence. We just had nothing that we particularly wanted to say.

 

We got home, and i started gnawing at a chunk of beef jerky. I sat down cross-legged on our velvety couch, and flipped open my laptop. 

 

"I passed my spanish test!" I called into the kitchen. Suddenly, i heard a smash.

 

"You okay?" I asked. My moms was quiet for a moment, so i rushed into the kitchen. She stood with owl eyes, staring at the smashed plate on the floor.

 

"What happened?" I asked, disturbed by her silence.

 

She cleared her throat, and blinked. "I'm fine. It... it just slipped out of my hand."

 

I helped her pick up the shards of broken plate. 

 

"So you passed the spanish test." She was quiet. 

 

I nodded. "Yep."

 

Suddenly, she stood up tall. Though her full height was only a few inches taller than me, I cowered. Her eyes looked angry and scared. Like a raccoon trapped that got trapped in our chimney last year.

 

"You need help!" She screamed. Maybe it wasn't a scream, or even a shout. But it made me stumble back, as she never raises her voice.

 

The fight, i hardly remember. She tried to grab me with the shards of the plate in her hand. I don't think she meant to hurt me, but I cannot believe the shock i felt when i held my bloody arm to my stomach.

 

When i ran, she was hunched over crying, so she couldn't come after me. I'm not quite sure why i took Angel, but him and my backpack were the first things i could think of to take. 

 

That's how i got to now. And the reason- the reason i need to save my mother, is, if i don't, I don't know how I would ever, ever be able to forgive myself.

 

 

 

                               

                ......................................................

 

Juneau is beautiful, in any sense of the word. Many people find their hometown dull and ugly. Although mine isn't overly exciting, I have never been more in awe of the the towering mountains, and the sparkling water.

 

I sit on a picnic table, the only one in the dead looking park. It overlooks the channel that edges one side of the city. On the table, an aloof Angel watches over the water. He is rather cat-like in the way that he enjoys climbing into high up places.

 

There is a boat moving through the water. I recognize it- It belongs to an elderly Ex-Fisherman. From the rumors that I've heard of him, he's insane. I am intrigued by this man. His boat is half concealed by the mist, but i can still see him on the deck of his boat.

 

For one second, I wonder if i am just like him. An insane person talking to somebody who isn't there.

 

But that thought is easy to shake off. Desmond is more real than anything else.

 

My stomach feels hollow, so i hunch over. The only thing i have eaten in the last 24 hours was a stale granola bar which i found in one of the pockets of my backpack. Uncomfortably, i realize that i can't spend another night out alone. 

 

I don't want to ask for help, but i have no other choice, honestly. I, being a middle class kid, want to sleep in a comfortable bed. I want to eat and eat and eat. I want to complain about how cold it is outside, without actually having to go outside.

 

I decide on Zahra's house almost instantly. Hailey, i love her, but she can't keep a secret to save her life. Felix's dad scares the hell out of me. Zahra would keep quiet, I'm sure. I have known her for only a year or so, but i know i can trust her.

 

I walk through streets full of cute little shops, closed for the day. I pass a few shops that make me smile, and a few more that make me frown. Most of the shops on this street are new, entirely fake chain stores. 

 

As i pass the store at the end of the street, i look at it only long enough to read the name, then look away.

 

"Basil's curiosity shop."

 

It is one of the strangest shops on the block. It looks a bit grungy now, but i remember it in it's full glory. There was nothing that couldn't be sold at Basil's, as long as it was sufficiently unique. 

 

Although the store was made up mostly of beautiful toys and a few antiques, i remember that my favorite things were made by Basil himself.

 

Faerie dolls made of acorns and wool. Little metal men that could march if you turned the key on their back. 

 

Now, the store is under new management. The windows are covered with colorful signs. They advertise what they sell inside- Giant lolipops and Gags. Squirt guns and plastic junk. 

 

I never go into Basil's anymore. It is different. Now, i even have trouble looking at it. 

 

 A dog starts barking from somewhere around the corner, and Angel yips back. Before he charges away, i grab his collar.

 

"No way, buddy." I find some colorful thread in my backpack, and I fashion into a leash for him in a few seconds. He looks annoyed, which makes me smile. It's just like we are going for an everyday walk. Like everything is perfectly, boringly normal.

 

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